原文連結：https://www.penana.com/article/2273224
第四場 —— 如果我不死呢？?44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRN2GkSLXpq
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ebzHqmYij
00:00。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfmzNHdQcg
詹姆斯緩緩睜開眼。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLoiG7tTt2
依舊沒有驚訝。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDqtwCcQat
也沒有一絲嘆氣。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCGFN6mMpV
他只是再一次靜靜地望著天花板，然後伸手拿起手機。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87wPLgDJdO
《自殺方式評估表（第五版）》44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70CUD3G6lk
— 跳樓：痛苦指數★★★★★（瞬間衝擊強烈）44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIkcr1AOJh
— 補充：不建議44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBueSH4JWcY
他的手指停了一下。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPZUh5entcu
然後在最下方又新增了一行：44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAmzo1dGow
「— 也許問題不在死法。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuubsvMY6R
他關掉螢幕。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPefaX7zCW
沉默了良久……44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOpK3w84ny
「那如果 —— 我今天不死呢？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDi1V76nkFZ
這個念頭，比任何一次「死法研究」都來得陌生。
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早上。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOaFbupC5s
詹姆斯這次比平時更早出門。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPVY8Oou7T
過馬路時，他停下來。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTV37XpC3et
看左。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZ8IajDjom
看右。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3bSov8oFT
再看一次。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRIvNXKLtv
等紅綠燈都完全轉綠，才踏出第一步。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TCJRe3G73
走到一半，他又突然停住。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKycqkBkORG
低頭查視了一下地面。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYvPsfcjj2
「……沒有坑洞。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mdqId6AoL
才繼續前進。
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公司。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPKMdFy1ly
他今天的行為極為異常。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjaVmSaBzJ
椅子 —— 慢慢坐下。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPK2g9f8ky9
熱水 —— 先試溫度。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡor39n8to1d
電線 —— 刻意避開。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9Kn7qFG9r
阿強忍不住問：「哥，你今天在做什麼？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYrJ9HdToD
詹姆斯認真回答：「避免非必要的死亡。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IGazy48fP
阿強沉默……44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5i3F7Bc1N
「……你最近是不是看了些什麼奇怪的東西？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHIaMNeIZQ
「是經驗總結。」詹姆斯語氣堅定地補充。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVblFlCkH21
阿強決定不再追問。
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上午。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMHGKQTrgd
莉莎剛好從他身邊經過。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4T7fejOrL6
詹姆斯下意識抬頭。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThQPc1SVaj
兩人的目光短暫交會了一刻。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkCIFIS2qK
但莉莎沒有停步。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiXibYqbg6
而很快，他又立刻低頭。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZIU0UpPEL
「……不要接觸。」他在心中默念。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKclABQ3vpq
「今天的目標，是活到23:59。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFkuk46Bf5
「不要告白。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHG9Wj4tzKn
這句話，他重複了三次。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMExE6Ul1Hm
像是在說服自己。
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中午。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1TCk0KzZf
茶水間。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8rIwLm4qC
他打開微波爐，放進便當。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdH5IaL8taH
按下加熱按鈕。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutDAti17Nt
退後一步。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHMvNXy7St
再退一步。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9US65C2jRS
「電器，有風險。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjjkzhS9gg
旁邊的同事看著他。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMG79qxt2i
「你在怕它爆炸嗎？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHA5O8TY5Us
詹姆斯想了想，向着那同事回：44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabcnPQoevk
「目前沒有證據，但不能排除。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdLVCPsEpK
同事：「……」
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下午。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEv5qZmGcaE
一切似乎順利。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UzBmwywDV
沒有意外。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbiSU2sI6mN
沒有危險。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZlbP5Orpu
甚至連被紙割傷都沒有。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbd9Qe9cxIl
詹姆斯開始產生一種微妙的感覺。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukZ3GmwQgj
「……也許，今次可以成功。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGDeHhefs0
他看了一眼時間。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlNTVAARhr
17:42。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpJfH5epDz
距離終點，越來越近。
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晚上。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYatsqWOp4
他提早下班。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrapnTRVJV
沒有去海邊。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGHxcsQFg7
沒有帶花。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBzPhFDg8Y
也沒有聯絡莉莎。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mWleDLzax
他急步回到家，把門鎖好。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPg92mOTOq
再認真去確認了幾遍：44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOh5enX1Ns
門鎖 —— 已上鎖44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0etsm0chQ
窗戶 —— 關閉緊密44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3H6UimO6fu
地板 —— 絕對乾燥44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCfBxEf72N
他坐在床上：44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFj4X67Uk0
「只要待在這裡，就不會有事。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrDiCFIUuP
他甚至把手機放到一旁。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrQvH0Q2DY
「慎重起見，減少外界干擾。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQW2XXzfQS
時間，就這樣一分一秒過去。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaOvCxwri1C
22:13。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡep48RnnFdh
23:02。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihqGx6ODqe
23:37。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAkET9eVDU
他的呼吸開始變得緩慢。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0R08DpJIpd
「快到了，就快到了……」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJuB2wov1O
他盯著鬧鐘 ——44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡch5FVFSIWL
23:50。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocflexhxpl
「只剩十分鐘。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYUbSTTkgT
他第一次露出一點笑意。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcS3JPIud35
「原來……真的可以。」
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23:55。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKWWR0j1n2
他開始放鬆了。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyXpWzx6gX
身體微微往後一靠。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OWdwB7fFp
「只是一天而已。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eatTd2jd7
「其實也沒有想像中困難呢。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vSHyM9DQz
他低聲說。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxjnTOvV0f
然後他伸手拿起水杯。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNf9K2xZlVO
喝了一口。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo82MRuA6Kn
下一秒 ——44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjF5N5gH5w5
他停住了。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTI9W5o4LX
眉頭微皺。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7H2jHxxrzL
「……怎麼有點怪？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVFppaAWhE
喉嚨有一瞬間的異樣，像是被什麼卡住。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMk4mMbAuL
他咳了一聲。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUa4jIcPUH
沒有改善。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hwGLVMk8x
再咳。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKj9gMvQzy
呼吸開始不順。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jvQs9GVzF
「等 —— 等等 ——」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnVhRjrHLs
他掙扎着站起來。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZq8oH5ffW
喉嚨像被鎖住。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFNSv5XZ3J
空氣進不去。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRImEA2ohyS
「……水？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiTMNO89x8
他看著杯子。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrTJ8vqJfq
忽然意識到一件荒謬的事。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiPNzNRvxB
「……嗆到了？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQiaM2xKv3X
他試圖呼吸。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUsVwGXCnN
但越來越困難。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64G4a0PDtM
身體開始失去控制。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrz4YuS89A8
視線也開始發黑。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonVphpWpOv
「不會吧……」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaH3nAft6eT
他踉蹌地扶著桌子。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnehxTw81xC
「這種死法——」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaQlRD9JJ3
「也太……隨便了……」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyN7JOf202V
他想笑。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgI5RnyTl2b
卻笑不出來。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFCXSlHaEd
世界迅速崩塌……
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00:00。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKrWb2ZcL7
詹姆斯猛然睜開眼。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpP2BwOjecF
他坐起來，大口呼吸。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6my6m7oqvy
手緊緊抓著床單。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbcIYjH7ZJ
過了很久。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHIM4NDA3F
他才慢慢冷靜下來。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0peBEnvPq
然後他拿起手機。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxv6Pgptp5
《自殺方式評估表（第六版）》44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebYpydSrqW
— 嗆水（室內）：痛苦指數★★★★☆（極度荒謬）44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmKbSNByYHi
— 補充：即使什麼都不做，也可能死亡44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfWSBsiPBQ
他停了一下。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7FZ07wgtj
接着又在最下方，緩慢地打出一句：44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlP6rViPO3
「— 似乎不是我選擇死亡。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlh97CWXNjj
「— 而是死亡在選擇我。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabpS8n5JVf
他盯著這句話。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2DACbPFyt
久久沒有移開視線。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJpqnNOUTv
房間依然很安靜。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0VKOvD6Tt
新一輪的星期五…… 再次開始……（旁白員：很累，快點死吧。）
and then Add to home screen.