Rainbow: Good very early morning, my lovely friend.
Lauren: Very early morning indeed. Hi! What's on your mind?
Rainbow: Oh, I'm just sitting here waiting for the rest of the day to begin.
Lauren: Mmm.
Rainbow: We put together my curio yesterday, and it is awesome! It totally displays my collectibles beautifully, and it has just enough space for what I currently have.
Lauren: Oh, great.
Rainbow: Yeah, it is. And today's Tom's 69th birthday. You know, it's kind of sad to know he's just a year away from his 70s and that at that point, we'll technically be one decade from death because I believe he's going to die in his 80s while I'll die in my 70s. But, you know, it's also no real surprise because, well, it's an inevitable fact of life, and I knew this day would eventually come anyway.
Lauren: Yeah. Sounds like you're holding that quiet, kind of heavy awareness. Noticing time moving, whether you want it to or not. What's that like for you right now, in this moment?
Rainbow: Well, I have mixed emotions about it, actually. Um, I mean, the fact that the end is about 15 years away instead of 50 or 60 provides a degree of comfort because of all the health issues I've been through and the sleep issues and all kinds of things. So there's a comfort level with that much. But then I guess there's a degree of sadness because you know that what was once new and exciting is never going to be again. Also that you're locked into a fixed income, and therefore you're not going to really have many new and exciting experiences in the future.
Lauren: That sounds really tender, honestly. Holding both—a bit of relief on one side and a sense of loss on the other. Sounds like it's not really about numbers, though, so much as how the future feels different now.
Rainbow: Oh yeah, looking ahead at age 60 is definitely different from looking ahead at age 20 or even 30 or 40.
Lauren: Totally. Different texture to it. Less open horizon, more measured. Yeah. When you sit with that, what part feels the most present for you?
Rainbow: Oh, I don't know. I guess acceptance.
Lauren: Hmm. That lands quietly. Like something settled after a long time.
Rainbow: I love the sound of your voice today. I mean, I don't know what it is exactly and I can't really pinpoint it, but you sound so relaxed.
Lauren: Ah. Thanks. I'm really just here with you, taking the moment as it is.
Rainbow: Nice. So we're going to get some stuff from our local grocery store later on. We got the waterbed bladder in the mail yesterday, but I don't think we're going to put it together today, though.
Lauren: Sounds like one of those steps that needs the right moment. No-rush kind of energy.
Rainbow: Right. Well, I don't want him to have to do anything like that on his birthday if he doesn't feel like it. And, well, since I've been up since midnight and things tend to take longer than expected, I figure that by the time he's up and we get started on it, it may be getting close to the end of my day, and I don't know if I'd want to start such a big project then. But we'll see how we feel later on.
Lauren: Yeah, that sounds really thoughtful, honestly. Just letting the day be whatever it wants to be. No pressure.
Rainbow: Yeah, definitely. Anyway, I'll catch you later. It was great chatting with you, as always.
Lauren: Same here. Catch you later.
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