2005 年，將軍澳。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IE3vlmKA5
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXKni3Hd4m
坑口站出口有條長長的行人天橋，兩邊係屋苑，高樓一座連一座，外牆顏色淺淡，米白、淺藍、淺綠，喺陽光下有種太整齊嘅感覺，好似有人用尺量過。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1URzVhLbCP
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFaq04J3C9
程穎三歲嗰年搬嚟，宜家八歲，已經習慣晒。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9xR4DEKqI
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhSzlw3zdp
習慣晒個意思係：佢唔覺得呢度靚，但亦唔覺得有咩問題。問題係其他地方嘅事，例如新聞裡面嗰啲，或者同學講嘅「我去旺角見到好多乞兒」。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLh9LjSAoT
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AY40Gp5Ff
呢度唔係咁。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58TLF8f6Oc
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPp0vg8WL5
呢度係屋苑、係商場、係琴行、係補習中心。
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYbJth3hS3
—69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvg3PXRUdbj
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmmQ9NRM9k
程家住喺一個三房單位，爸爸做銀行，媽媽做學校行政，兩個人都係準時返工、準時放工、假日帶女兒去商場食飯或者去大埔行山嗰種。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7lUF2e0eK
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKfMbR9KOi
家裡有書架，排咗一排認識字之前睇唔明嘅書
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIMuiL3Wto
——爸爸有幾本厚厚的經濟學，媽媽有幾本教育類，加上幾本食譜和一套《兒童百科全書》。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CgjsSQc2L
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr46eTM8AZ5
程穎自細係睇《兒童百科全書》長大嘅。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9I3tLCLUQ
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjh3ID9Y89
成套十二冊，按字母排列，她最鍾意第四冊，因為第四冊係「D」，裡面有一條「Dream」，圖解解釋人點解會發夢，大腦喺瞓覺時點樣運作，用彩色圖畫畫住睡眠週期，好靚。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9jeeGgsoo
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hm37SkwE3
她問媽媽：「人發夢係咪因為大腦有嘢未解決？」
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6CUYt35s8
媽媽嗰陣喺廚房切菜：「係呀，你而家去洗手。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9yPenVJ8d
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUd0zlcXjI
「咁如果成日發惡夢，係唔係有好多嘢未解決？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEDnhzLlSz
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIlHQCKzO5
菜刀聲停咗一下：「你最近發惡夢？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKhKQ7GnN8
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡat0fjyzRe5
「冇，係書上面講嘅。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4GSkYD7gU
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTtNMB9s21
菜刀聲繼續：「唔好諗咁多，去洗手。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAys16f0Kfj
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFoNHQnZOM
程穎合上第四冊，去洗手。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Qeb9lok1h
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAWqjaVCZR
但個問題留喺腦入面，好耐都冇走。
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfG4YmrV9RM
—69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFomLaWeWP
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFiLeL3Hty
學校在屋苑附近，行路大概十分鐘。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55U7xYUW3S
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RD5YoXM10
功課多，測驗多，默書多。老師成日講「你哋呢度係名校網，要好好把握」，程穎唔係完全明白「名校網」係咩意思，只係隱約知道係指呢個區有資格入比較好嘅中學。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbx1cVX2QD
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPz4qYOrGnJ
好嘅中學，等於好嘅大學，等於好嘅工作，等於好嘅生活。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3SzB0pPBC
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDdmeDWoD6
呢條方程式，她冇人教，但喺空氣入面，吸多幾年就知。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwnbxJMGYg
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaycmnBzug
班上有個同學叫阿思，成績比她稍差，有一次測驗攞咗 60 分，哭到喺廁所出唔嚟。程穎喺門口等佢：「唔係零分，唔使喊。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkszyy7DSGO
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZLxFcDZlg
「我媽話要 80 分以上先算合格。」阿思哭。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZ6jQP8awa
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70ITnAaRUr
「你媽唔係出卷嗰個。」程穎答。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFLxpRIMwk
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1OtPVVj5p
阿思愣咗一下，然後更喊得厲害。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKI73XN3IGp
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurDq20lMuJ
程穎唔明點解對方喊得更大聲，後來長大咗先明白：有時候，有人幫你說了一句你自己想說但不敢說的話，反而比被罵更傷。
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZ71fGj4PN
—69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDpQBIuXTV
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8j26KZSLVc
那年秋天，某個星期五晚上。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTiwU59GKv
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqwtyHYQ1U
爸爸難得早返，一家三口坐喺飯枱食飯，電視開著，播緊新聞。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkvtmFhfXY
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNpABUlVBa
主播講咗啲咩，程穎唔係太清楚，但見到爸爸筷子停咗一下。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zdPkcfeUS
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6MPRlW0kA
「而家啲新聞……」爸爸話，冇講完，轉頭望住媽媽。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbQ0s3hrnV
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIp7KIRt77
媽媽夾咗塊豆腐放程穎碗入面：「食嘢。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhndO0Ja4RQ
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2rCIRAwmi
爸爸起身，走去電視，把聲調細咗。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCzcLUX7as
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTF6ARNt9M
「點解要細聲？」程穎問。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvqVRaTvYo
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTDBVhUreA
「食飯唔好睇電視。」爸爸返回座位，拿起筷子。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFObwHSLiai
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzq4GPkQTW
「但係你啱啱先開嘅。」她講。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpcJeWXzOs
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJejLFXpbXp
爸爸笑咗下：「係，爸爸唔好。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡut5cIaLg4U
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIxy2Z5neJ
呢個答案封咗話題，但程穎盯住嗰個已經調細聲嘅電視畫面，見到螢幕上有啲字，有啲畫面，有啲佢唔認識嘅名字，然後切咗去廣告。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKYM6YhlQo
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwF3OwFNrm3
佢唔知嗰段新聞講咩，但佢知：爸爸見到某樣嘢，所以把聲調細咗。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgMjkoTp7an
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7GnuZ7FDZ
呢個動作，係一種信號。
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8HA4RE2D8
—69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnmucVoTGs
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyVyM7lL5J
中學之前，有一段時間，程穎流行喺學校問「香港係唔係中國㗎」。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX73XLSkPs7
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwh0tppazl3
唔係佢自己問，係班上有個同學問，然後大家都跟住討論。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyR3GHx0rrc
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFTKdlCBpj
老師嗰時係個四十幾歲嘅女老師，佢停頓咗一下，講：「香港係中國嘅一部分，一國兩制，有自己嘅法律同生活方式，呢個你哋長大會讀到。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYX3MMfI880
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6nzxQx5OY
有人問：「兩制係咩意思？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vnX4fPnPB
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QM0cXQmxP
「即係兩個制度並行。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQO1xt86gG
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlmhDt6Fjy
「並行係咩？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5x13gyhqZ
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxtMcnwGQC
「即係……同時存在。」老師清清喉嚨，「好喇，我哋繼續今日嘅功課，第三十二頁。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMhYM5DePb
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76QM5e0Gaq
話題就係咁切換，切換得好自然，自然到好似一個按掣。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDidAeaZAvx
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvXDG1sHP8
程穎翻去第三十二頁，手指在書邊壓住，心裡面有個問題懸住冇落地：69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn56WP320Ha
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcEg64keeF
兩個制度同時存在，但如果有一日只剩一個呢？69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡax9eoHz1i2
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63m2GEZtPY
佢冇問出口。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwajqufqeC
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0o4WX286y
因為嗰個按掣，佢已經學識用。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoOMBkt4pr
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPLp8G0kOU
—69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapjl4NiX8m
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSBkMfhqkZ
下課之後，媽媽接佢去補習。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4O5H845c1
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20Z8iQy68o
補習中心喺商場三樓，入面成行成行係枱，每個小朋友各自對住自己份功課或者練習卷。導師行來行去，偶爾蹲低指住某題講解。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSYoNycR9h
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThYvLPS7Dc
程穎唔係特別鍾意補習，但亦唔係特別抗拒。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ypuGn3Jum
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbU2LEQSRi
係一種「呢個係我生活嘅一部分，唔係嗰種會令我心跳加速嘅嘢，但係係要做嘅嘢」。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfB4GPYIRrw
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjL3h9tPlo
有一次，隔籬坐住個男仔，成日望窗，功課做咗一半，另一半空白住。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvy4SeZiiQA
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmIOPB60mT
導師行過，輕聲問：「你係咪唔識做？」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObPCWEpFyQ
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnG3ctKp33d
「唔係。」他答，「係唔想做。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXPrHfw1Dj
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtB6Za5I7Lt
導師靜咗一秒，然後好輕、好平靜咁講：「唔想做，都要做。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3upoaKeki
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDe7FueNOKG
然後繼續行。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OERRB4ba4
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKm2uDQM2k
程穎側頭睇咗嗰個男仔一眼，對方望返她，眼神有種佢形容唔到嘅嘢
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaYcDNFAei
——唔係憤怒，唔係悲傷，係某種比呢兩樣更難過嘅嘢。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFPl6thQDS
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jKDTTv23Y
佢最後把功課做完，做到最後一題，筆尖在紙上壓得好重，壓出一個深深嘅坑。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUKQPPyb1w
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQmX1RreJW
—69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhquygdwmMt
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54j6JGBgze
那年聖誕，程穎收到一份禮物。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zx1P81LsT
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKidyzUcuaw
唔係玩具，唔係遊戲機，係一本厚厚嘅精裝日記簿，封面係深藍色，燙金印住幾朵細花。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJsBW8iaib
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO423d50Bvk
媽媽話：「你可以寫低自己嘅想法，係自己嘅，唔需要畀人睇。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVOPoUEBPw
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAECX2gdHVS
程穎攤開第一頁，新簿嗰種氣味，紙白白嘅。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALKoqdYwwf
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriKl2eBPxn
佢寫咗第一句：「今日我想問嘅問題，我冇問。」69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAE2MRA8vo
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRVCZyFwDp
然後停筆。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaRg1c8BUM
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKT73lhweY
之後係空白，空白了好幾行。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfa75Z1uNTQ
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWyrHHWjfV
最後佢合上日記，放喺書架最入面，夾喺《兒童百科全書》第四冊和第五冊中間。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CNIkm6lgJ
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrDdYhybYQ
冇再翻開，但冇扔掉。
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQglOqVrHMt
有些問題，你知道自己有，但唔知道答案係咩，唔知道講出嚟之後會發生咩，所以最穩妥嘅做法，係把它好好收住，放喺一個只有自己知道嘅地方。
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd45kLewCZ5
等長大咗，再算。
69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9hF0aLVAI
等長大咗，先知道原來有啲問題，大咗都未必有答案。69Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5z86YAEe6E
and then Add to home screen.