2005 年，將軍澳。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAx1MCxC9Z9
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPm4SA1c4L
坑口站出口有條長長的行人天橋，兩邊係屋苑，高樓一座連一座，外牆顏色淺淡，米白、淺藍、淺綠，喺陽光下有種太整齊嘅感覺，好似有人用尺量過。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmgbSeCpWD
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmSlyyLKz3Z
程穎三歲嗰年搬嚟，宜家八歲，已經習慣晒。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYOCvKSqoX
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ54EqVPgON
習慣晒個意思係：佢唔覺得呢度靚，但亦唔覺得有咩問題。問題係其他地方嘅事，例如新聞裡面嗰啲，或者同學講嘅「我去旺角見到好多乞兒」。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt16Ga7rKqV
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEhGK9Xv6J
呢度唔係咁。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEDZjAwAsY
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PoHxPb3VU
呢度係屋苑、係商場、係琴行、係補習中心。
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqvQqUOSqd
—77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAzeS0AxEh
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6iz70oO3Y
程家住喺一個三房單位，爸爸做銀行，媽媽做學校行政，兩個人都係準時返工、準時放工、假日帶女兒去商場食飯或者去大埔行山嗰種。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKInrEHB7n
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEspIy7Zky
家裡有書架，排咗一排認識字之前睇唔明嘅書
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLtauZc8zg
——爸爸有幾本厚厚的經濟學，媽媽有幾本教育類，加上幾本食譜和一套《兒童百科全書》。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeT7pdllya5
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LUD9cNasx
程穎自細係睇《兒童百科全書》長大嘅。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Y8nLlUwJz
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqoimStlek
成套十二冊，按字母排列，她最鍾意第四冊，因為第四冊係「D」，裡面有一條「Dream」，圖解解釋人點解會發夢，大腦喺瞓覺時點樣運作，用彩色圖畫畫住睡眠週期，好靚。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxK4HqoYqs8
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKuyxpzr4Z
她問媽媽：「人發夢係咪因為大腦有嘢未解決？」
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG73FiwEQdw
媽媽嗰陣喺廚房切菜：「係呀，你而家去洗手。」77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoqagdMxoj
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5snz6Ni2G0
「咁如果成日發惡夢，係唔係有好多嘢未解決？」77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwcNZ1Ida9
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6G3ZMuPRr6
菜刀聲停咗一下：「你最近發惡夢？」77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlBWw9ERm1
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDCK0WCWVZ
「冇，係書上面講嘅。」77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8TmhdpXK3
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbWTe1DBzI
菜刀聲繼續：「唔好諗咁多，去洗手。」77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡME4cwf2MRG
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdKlpY4Dkc
程穎合上第四冊，去洗手。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRsv1XSYgK
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCBv0l88Hj
但個問題留喺腦入面，好耐都冇走。
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcAnfJw0CF
—77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbWg8hQYQX
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFMmOONFq1
學校在屋苑附近，行路大概十分鐘。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2BsXopnMh
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB96HMTs7jS
功課多，測驗多，默書多。老師成日講「你哋呢度係名校網，要好好把握」，程穎唔係完全明白「名校網」係咩意思，只係隱約知道係指呢個區有資格入比較好嘅中學。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSY0H7OtG8
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4yYTDEgFF
好嘅中學，等於好嘅大學，等於好嘅工作，等於好嘅生活。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gai3fB7db
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHGYxrCzyF
呢條方程式，她冇人教，但喺空氣入面，吸多幾年就知。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nCbxrZUfX
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidaBxoHg4M
班上有個同學叫阿思，成績比她稍差，有一次測驗攞咗 60 分，哭到喺廁所出唔嚟。程穎喺門口等佢：「唔係零分，唔使喊。」77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFF2wXmVKtV
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9e7fw7zF2
「我媽話要 80 分以上先算合格。」阿思哭。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3WBNy1Y7b
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59tMgI3i2w
「你媽唔係出卷嗰個。」程穎答。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1ABHGPWwM
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0LkaMBYPC
阿思愣咗一下，然後更喊得厲害。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4qE4kQYxC
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhxJFBY8dx
程穎唔明點解對方喊得更大聲，後來長大咗先明白：有時候，有人幫你說了一句你自己想說但不敢說的話，反而比被罵更傷。
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMlyzYUo4w
—77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8dcKr8sLa
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMalyCdMzb
那年秋天，某個星期五晚上。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAS5wLXnXw
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGf9oE6OQK6
爸爸難得早返，一家三口坐喺飯枱食飯，電視開著，播緊新聞。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdcAD1yBKG
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdWsOJDV6A
主播講咗啲咩，程穎唔係太清楚，但見到爸爸筷子停咗一下。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgf6NrljrfF
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WtZgKoFa5
「而家啲新聞……」爸爸話，冇講完，轉頭望住媽媽。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNG1LFwaQV
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHoRcqQE2s
媽媽夾咗塊豆腐放程穎碗入面：「食嘢。」77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDluBaBoPvI
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUw80aTTtB
爸爸起身，走去電視，把聲調細咗。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ13EguzcjX
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65U93Ouycz
「點解要細聲？」程穎問。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNjafwPk6E
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFYox4JIvo
「食飯唔好睇電視。」爸爸返回座位，拿起筷子。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHGn3qW40k
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6h320VaVBp
「但係你啱啱先開嘅。」她講。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMtx31QgRQ
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkK49Ti8ZLe
爸爸笑咗下：「係，爸爸唔好。」77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQt4npOm74t
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2bSzJpGui
呢個答案封咗話題，但程穎盯住嗰個已經調細聲嘅電視畫面，見到螢幕上有啲字，有啲畫面，有啲佢唔認識嘅名字，然後切咗去廣告。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceBO8zMWul
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3YPujyfGs
佢唔知嗰段新聞講咩，但佢知：爸爸見到某樣嘢，所以把聲調細咗。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCw9Dwydep
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2S41HO6gq
呢個動作，係一種信號。
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDWjLVM0ob
—77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5czkM3OpQF
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbuByZu8FM9
中學之前，有一段時間，程穎流行喺學校問「香港係唔係中國㗎」。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4HroVnfFs
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7t8ki4fKcN
唔係佢自己問，係班上有個同學問，然後大家都跟住討論。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWx5XfCOn6
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXDoQLfzr9
老師嗰時係個四十幾歲嘅女老師，佢停頓咗一下，講：「香港係中國嘅一部分，一國兩制，有自己嘅法律同生活方式，呢個你哋長大會讀到。」77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLgMCGqmyn
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdKp3wK0lY
有人問：「兩制係咩意思？」77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeE5j6G2J3D
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImsGqqWYxS
「即係兩個制度並行。」77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNbH7dcqQ7
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJYWIl2hlH
「並行係咩？」77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEvkD63oQN
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1HZhPB9QT
「即係……同時存在。」老師清清喉嚨，「好喇，我哋繼續今日嘅功課，第三十二頁。」77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajDoZMwL3D
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtF52zqWtCM
話題就係咁切換，切換得好自然，自然到好似一個按掣。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGPSjlEvBg
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SXUf1MHjX
程穎翻去第三十二頁，手指在書邊壓住，心裡面有個問題懸住冇落地：77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxB0Jy1kKNW
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPKsFrpUH9
兩個制度同時存在，但如果有一日只剩一個呢？77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qy8MlQz8P
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpdEN3VJX1
佢冇問出口。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4c1TRQbFx2
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVYCwKLdee
因為嗰個按掣，佢已經學識用。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7RboSohS9
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfEinYmNY3
—77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZb4l5lkc7
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljbzZF6vuG
下課之後，媽媽接佢去補習。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hneEoUWYZ
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94osb2EpFz
補習中心喺商場三樓，入面成行成行係枱，每個小朋友各自對住自己份功課或者練習卷。導師行來行去，偶爾蹲低指住某題講解。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz77qCIuBf2
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTNZso18RS
程穎唔係特別鍾意補習，但亦唔係特別抗拒。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq24HOEQyFq
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cE6i9YntG
係一種「呢個係我生活嘅一部分，唔係嗰種會令我心跳加速嘅嘢，但係係要做嘅嘢」。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEyKIxUvvGb
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4wAQ6Dua4
有一次，隔籬坐住個男仔，成日望窗，功課做咗一半，另一半空白住。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJk3sjZZKNH
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDk5ywSOxA
導師行過，輕聲問：「你係咪唔識做？」77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZYJsOg6lo
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7LEq7mzJ2
「唔係。」他答，「係唔想做。」77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwI58ZoTzpZ
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHXtDXOQOs
導師靜咗一秒，然後好輕、好平靜咁講：「唔想做，都要做。」77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzdrr2yeFj
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRK3h1TFlX
然後繼續行。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeqeLyTOzT
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZ5tXe2KrK
程穎側頭睇咗嗰個男仔一眼，對方望返她，眼神有種佢形容唔到嘅嘢
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKbIXzSQIJ
——唔係憤怒，唔係悲傷，係某種比呢兩樣更難過嘅嘢。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jbswcE1Ov
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUxr2zOo5V
佢最後把功課做完，做到最後一題，筆尖在紙上壓得好重，壓出一個深深嘅坑。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAmlNXVevu
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsZv0Ii3AZ
—77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPieRmYXIRw
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZjSx8RjrJ
那年聖誕，程穎收到一份禮物。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hIonw7611
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC02ETbLH4f
唔係玩具，唔係遊戲機，係一本厚厚嘅精裝日記簿，封面係深藍色，燙金印住幾朵細花。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsAZRaWR8L
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHUGwBYen4
媽媽話：「你可以寫低自己嘅想法，係自己嘅，唔需要畀人睇。」77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7Rim8bvgA
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxxu8Y5UNa
程穎攤開第一頁，新簿嗰種氣味，紙白白嘅。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgwzGampgN
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQRmp3LhJQ
佢寫咗第一句：「今日我想問嘅問題，我冇問。」77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7WAcgJKdt
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSssHZ7AQqD
然後停筆。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeajUPqNvyU
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kq9YN9IzR
之後係空白，空白了好幾行。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWcHdYHMt6
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrEGEaBZME
最後佢合上日記，放喺書架最入面，夾喺《兒童百科全書》第四冊和第五冊中間。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRPOxuBlJC
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2O1qeP0VUF
冇再翻開，但冇扔掉。
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepeXlmh75U
有些問題，你知道自己有，但唔知道答案係咩，唔知道講出嚟之後會發生咩，所以最穩妥嘅做法，係把它好好收住，放喺一個只有自己知道嘅地方。
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQsXIQBKLf
等長大咗，再算。
77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWmKr9ISGG
等長大咗，先知道原來有啲問題，大咗都未必有答案。77Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEzgeqhZOs
and then Add to home screen.