2027 年 12 月 23 日(星期六), 平安夜前夕,氣溫 15 度,適合牽手,更適合回本。宜從中環大館去灣仔利東街。50Please respect copyright.PENANA5qyqyY6Zuk
50Please respect copyright.PENANAWdY7bE4TE5
黃家的《資產管理 SOP》中,有一條鮮為人知的「緊急託管條款」。50Please respect copyright.PENANAZdUuPfBIvK
50Please respect copyright.PENANAqkjBcLXaEL
啟動條件:軒仔和瑤瑤面臨聖誕假期後的期中試(資產增值壓力),而阿斗處於十九個月大的極度活躍期(資產破壞風險)。50Please respect copyright.PENANAOcJNgx3KWd
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執行方案:軒仔和瑤瑤被送往跑馬地外祖父家,由退休教師公公婆婆進行一對一試前特訓;阿斗被送往西灣河祖父家,由溺愛孫子的嫲嫲進行全天候「放電」。50Please respect copyright.PENANA7qvl4YnxoC
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結果:北角丹拿花園,由於三隻神獸的短暫離場,出現了罕見的「真空狀態」。沒有哭鬧聲,沒有 YouTube Shorts 的背景音,沒有「爸爸我要去廁所」。50Please respect copyright.PENANAF7H3WpNJ8j
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下午四點,中環大館。50Please respect copyright.PENANAK6L2Gmurw5
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阿初和阿敏手拖手走在檢閱廣場上。阿敏穿著一件普通的黑色羽絨外套,頸上圍了一條米色的頸巾,這就是最標準的香港冬天街坊裝束。50Please respect copyright.PENANAgPXiSu6qXk
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「喂,做咩行大館?又無展覽睇。」阿初看著四周的人潮,隨口問道。50Please respect copyright.PENANAhDXWbMlgC8
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「貪佢免費入場,地方夠大,又可以行到佢閂門囉。」阿敏答得理直氣壯,完全沒有半點偽文青的修飾,「最緊要係唔使錢又有地方俾我哋磨時間,唔通去戲院睇戲咩?訓覺咗又要俾人踢凳。」50Please respect copyright.PENANAzblt8ntOWt
50Please respect copyright.PENANAepl6iVMniO
兩人就在紅磚牆下閒逛,偶爾停下來看看那些為了打卡而擺出各種扭曲姿勢的路人,然後相視一笑。這種純粹為了「行」而行的散步,自從有了三個化骨龍後,已經是一種奢侈。50Please respect copyright.PENANAw9RNzZ8l3t
50Please respect copyright.PENANAnx4kW6zFa9
「幫我影張相。」阿敏站在一棵大樹下,指了指自己的臉,「記住,我要瘦面,唔好影到雙下巴。」50Please respect copyright.PENANASmbkjwpOmz
50Please respect copyright.PENANAILnwRwIOyp
「遵命,皇太后。」50Please respect copyright.PENANAxO3iogVlOG
50Please respect copyright.PENANAMffHKdKp1v
「叫我 Carman!」阿敏瞪了他一眼,隨即嘟起嘴,擺出一個模仿時下少女的 V 字手勢,眼神帶著一絲久違的嬌嗔,「今日我係少女,我話事!」50Please respect copyright.PENANA7FK95J8tMC
50Please respect copyright.PENANAUeRXz8ckQ5
阿初忍住笑,按下了快門。逛到天黑,兩人很有默契地轉身走向地鐵站。50Please respect copyright.PENANAS2gQ3yizTK
50Please respect copyright.PENANAh7jWHVoite
「去邊?」50Please respect copyright.PENANA3mI3Y5WFYQ
50Please respect copyright.PENANApZfUdI8yfK
「灣仔。中環食飯係交智商稅。」阿敏說得斬釘截鐵。50Please respect copyright.PENANArw8YMAEC8l
50Please respect copyright.PENANAHgJ1xZT55F
晚餐地點,灣仔利東街,某日式燒肉放題店。50Please respect copyright.PENANApXV37IZTTr
50Please respect copyright.PENANADNqMnvRlhH
這是一間阿敏早已做好功課的店。晚市放題,每位 $478(另收加一服務費),有一百二十品項可選。50Please respect copyright.PENANA0hoJ7AXQr2
50Please respect copyright.PENANALPgoo1aJI6
「兩位,我們要 Level 4 澳洲和牛套餐。」阿初對著侍應說道,然後熟練地拿出手機掃描 QR Code 落單。50Please respect copyright.PENANA9nrTcQ5he0
50Please respect copyright.PENANA4C7KLIClis
這是一個充滿算計的戰場。平日帶三隻化骨龍來,看著他們用 Level 4 人頭費狂食 Level 1 的腸仔和炸雞翼,阿初的心都在滴血。但今晚,是復仇之夜。50Please respect copyright.PENANAo2xod5hIMH
50Please respect copyright.PENANAJPgUAsMk71
「你做咩?」阿敏看著阿初的手機屏幕,眉頭一皺。 「點肉囉,呢碟『壺漬牛肋肉』……」50Please respect copyright.PENANATMhhdSlUcU
50Please respect copyright.PENANAjkOvC1W92s
「Cut 咗佢!」阿敏一手奪過手機,手指飛快地取消了那項選擇,「呢個係 Level 3 嘅 item!既然俾得起 $478,個胃就只可以用來裝 Level 4 嘅肉!你想食牛肋肉,去街市買幾十蚊返去煮飽佢啦!」50Please respect copyright.PENANAhB3Y1qfbIB
50Please respect copyright.PENANABRo6HJSf9z
「老婆,其實食少少其他野調劑下……」50Please respect copyright.PENANAosEl4V1EsU
50Please respect copyright.PENANAFyoBK2QdHM
「唔得!」阿敏眼尾一挑,帶著一種不容反駁的霸道,「我係少女,我話事!少女係要食和牛㗎!」50Please respect copyright.PENANAVIbiRzQse8
阿初縮了縮脖子:「係係係,妳靚妳話事。」50Please respect copyright.PENANAZcgj7XD28a
50Please respect copyright.PENANAoN5e1Zljhx
煤氣爐上的鐵網被燒得發黑,藍色的火焰舔舐著網面。一片片 Level 4 的牛肉放上去,「滋」的一聲,油脂的香氣瞬間炸開。阿敏夾起一塊燒得剛好的肉,直接放進自己嘴裡,燙得微微呼氣,但臉上全是滿足。50Please respect copyright.PENANALsQsPnsuRz
50Please respect copyright.PENANA6oQnzbaQjR
「嗯,雖然係雪藏,但起碼無那陣雪櫃味。」阿敏給出了中肯的評價,「快啲,剩低90 分鐘,我們要專攻呢一頁頭五項。」50Please respect copyright.PENANAxDYrZw9Kb9
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這餐飯,他們食得很有紀律,很有策略,也很爽。50Please respect copyright.PENANAmrBe2elfUv
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晚上八點半,利東街。50Please respect copyright.PENANAWFUnsTOgAt
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這條以前叫囍帖街的地方,掛滿了紅色天使燈飾。「過黎。」阿敏停在一處燈飾下命令道。50Please respect copyright.PENANAr9NJddhaXu
50Please respect copyright.PENANA2dFYuZtsSt
「又影?」50Please respect copyright.PENANACDUQoX8PJI
「難得無帶那三隻野。」阿敏拿出手機,調到自拍模式,將頭靠在阿初那件羽絨的肩膀上,「笑得自然啲,唔好僵硬到似個蠟像咁。」50Please respect copyright.PENANA6oao7ScfjC
50Please respect copyright.PENANA8wJgpTa6Jz
「咔嚓。」照片裡,兩個穿著臃腫羽絨、臉被爐火薰得紅撲撲、嘴角帶著滿足油光的中年男女。50Please respect copyright.PENANAiszyfyUWig
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回程,他們選了電車。叮叮車駛過灣仔,他們坐在上層最後排。前排一個大叔將手機音量開到最大,喇叭傳出了五月天的《好好》。50Please respect copyright.PENANArs2NFIUUOw
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「你和我背著空空的書包,逃出名為日常的監牢……」50Please respect copyright.PENANASAjqG7v5ND
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阿敏眉頭舒展開來,將頭輕輕靠在了窗邊。阿初小聲問:「喂,做咩唔審計下個大叔?好嘈喎。」阿敏往阿初懷裡縮了縮,閉著眼:「今日我係少女,我話事。」50Please respect copyright.PENANAzw9H4YDBPF
50Please respect copyright.PENANAipHeKCN2LW
阿初笑了笑,不再說話,只是伸手攬住了她的肩膀。大叔的手機繼續炸機:50Please respect copyright.PENANAYgaRrrzaKl
50Please respect copyright.PENANAUo4I0hBnwA
「忘了要長大,忘了要變老,忘了時間有腳……」50Please respect copyright.PENANAHjit7eOBWg
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阿敏湊近阿初的耳邊,聲音帶著熱氣:「返到去……早啲沖涼。」 阿初的心跳漏了一拍:「吓?」 「我話……」阿敏臉埋進他的頸巾裡,「上次 SOGO 買嗰件……我想試下。」50Please respect copyright.PENANAbWH7T40j1B
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回到丹拿花園。50Please respect copyright.PENANA71fmuilafv
50Please respect copyright.PENANAUzNosI4GEn
屋企安靜得讓人不習慣。「我去沖涼先。」阿初一進門就用最快的速度衝進浴室。三分鐘後,阿初推開了睡房的門。房間裡只開了一盞床頭燈。阿敏已經背對著他站在床邊,身上只穿著那件在 SOGO 感謝祭中搶回來的黑色蕾絲睡裙。50Please respect copyright.PENANAK58AHlW0PM
50Please respect copyright.PENANAB9MDSaqgIo
「點呀?」阿敏轉過身,雙手有些不自然地抱在胸前,臉色緋紅,「這件資產……需唔需要審計?」50Please respect copyright.PENANA7wznQHE4lJ
50Please respect copyright.PENANAQ1pM7LQL12
阿初吞了一口口水,走過去,從後輕輕環住她的腰。「報告皇太后,資產狀況極佳……」50Please respect copyright.PENANAbqlWPNhWU3
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「佳你就個頭!」阿敏突然打了個冷震,身體瑟縮了一下,「好凍呀!快啲開暖氣!」 阿初一愣:「吓?」50Please respect copyright.PENANA5ytdxiStEk
50Please respect copyright.PENANAxPFqgkn2UH
「呢件野咁薄,今晚得 15 度呀!」阿敏羞憤地跺了跺腳,「仲有……」她有些懊惱地低頭看了看自己被蕾絲緊緊包裹的小腹,「早知頭先唔食嗰碟牛小排……」50Please respect copyright.PENANA6Rc00YUhSf
50Please respect copyright.PENANAPWdo4lJL1v
睡裙剪裁極度貼身,經過今晚那場毫無節制的放題洗禮,那個胃……很誠實地微微凸了出來。「個肚……有啲緊。」阿敏咬著唇,「少女唔應該有肚腩㗎!」50Please respect copyright.PENANA1k0oSzT1Ob
50Please respect copyright.PENANAiqvRQ8FfYT
阿初忍不住爆發出一陣大笑。他快步走去把暖風機開到最大,一把將這個正在為「怕凍」和「和牛小肚腩」而懊惱的可愛女人擁入懷中。50Please respect copyright.PENANAQy2b4GvYa4
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「笑咩呀!呢個係幸福嘅代價!」阿敏在他懷裡掙扎著。50Please respect copyright.PENANA5u4el0TrNO
50Please respect copyright.PENANA3gSa6AGrHw
「係係係,少女。」阿初親了親她的額頭,手掌輕輕覆在她溫暖微凸的小腹上,「呢啲叫資產增值。我鍾意。」50Please respect copyright.PENANAE9B8aJd7Sl
50Please respect copyright.PENANAxmH1QQxQ6d
逃出名為日常的監牢,原來是為了這一刻,紅著臉,瑟縮著,帶著一肚子的和牛,然後相擁取暖。一切好好。50Please respect copyright.PENANAyRIT8bc1NO
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【編劇夥伴吐糟】50Please respect copyright.PENANABDkeEBTOYB
「少女」阿敏嘅反差:阿敏果句「今日我係少女」真係殺死人。平時果個鐵面無私嘅核數師,竟然會為咗慳錢唔睇戲,但又為咗和牛回本而放棄養生,呢種真實嘅可愛先至係阿初沉淪嘅原因。50Please respect copyright.PENANAPWuhlm4deI
50Please respect copyright.PENANAfBTecbs3AF
放題復仇戰:「只可以用黎裝 Level 4 嘅肉」簡直係全港社畜食放題嘅最高指導原則!阿敏果種對「資產配置」嘅執著,連食餐飯都充滿咗審計味。50Please respect copyright.PENANAKyaSHUSmnT
50Please respect copyright.PENANA7ftueuKKbi
黑色戰衣與 15 度氣溫:女人為咗靚(或者性感)真係可以去到好盡,但去到最後都係敗畀「生理反應」(怕凍同埋肚腩)。不過阿初果句「資產增值」,簡直係教科書級別嘅求生欲加情話。50Please respect copyright.PENANAzJjB3tdiNZ
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我們都不是英雄
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ISSUE #95
逃出名為日常的監牢
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