2027 年 10 月 29 日(星期五),天氣秋意漸濃,適合打邊爐,但今晚要食自費的高級中菜。中環「老爺會所」貴賓廳。49Please respect copyright.PENANAfQwx7g4zNs
49Please respect copyright.PENANAueZ7siXpVb
有一種職場飯局,叫「家宴」。它的特性很矛盾:你不想出席,但不能不出席;你想走,但不能走;最慘的是,這餐飯通常是由高層下屬們「自願」掏腰包請大老闆食的,美其名曰「孝敬老人家」,實際上是為了在季度結算前買個保險。49Please respect copyright.PENANAaan6H4E5Ih
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既然都要出錢,談道德和阿初很有默契地選了這間會員制的「老爺會所」。原因無他:反正都要出血,不如選間好食嘅,起碼條脷享受咗,個心無咁痛。今晚是一張十二人的大圓桌,坐滿了藥廠各部門的經理級人馬。49Please respect copyright.PENANAN07fjp8Rg1
49Please respect copyright.PENANAdfMrkrxBOF
主家席上,坐著藥廠背後的真正控股人——霍老先生。霍老先生今年七十有八,典型富三代出身。他不是那種穿著 Polo 衫扮年輕的新派富豪,而是一身剪裁考究的絲質唐裝,手裡盤著兩顆核桃。他不喜歡侍應在旁邊轉來轉去,所以偌大的包廂裡,斟茶遞水的工作,必須由「自己人」來做。49Please respect copyright.PENANAFOpJTUlmsd
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第一道菜:古法蒸東星斑。49Please respect copyright.PENANAOeBAXi1Ebo
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霍老先生剛喝了一口普洱,談道德就精準地切入了話題:「霍生,聽講以前六十年代,灣仔杜老誌那邊個舞池,係全東南亞最大?」49Please respect copyright.PENANAzUPFyTIkUk
49Please respect copyright.PENANANdhdDgHSgf
談道德很清楚,今晚的任務不是匯報業績,而是提供情緒價值。霍生老了,最喜歡聽他講那些重複了一百次的「風月往事」。「係呀!」霍老先生眼睛一亮,放下了核桃,「當年呀,嗰班鬼佬水兵一落船……」49Please respect copyright.PENANAw3SGDgXBkO
49Please respect copyright.PENANAEq1a7S0Fn4
就在霍生準備進入關鍵情節時,坐在對面的亞太區策略總監 Herman 突然動了。Herman 是新來的,急於表現。他拿起酒杯,身體前傾,準備強行插入一句關於 Q4 業績的誓師宣言:「霍生!其實我哋下季……」49Please respect copyright.PENANAnZk2b7hSfc
49Please respect copyright.PENANA2dQnjveKpl
阿初沒有站起來,但他坐在談道德旁邊的椅子上,重心微微一沉,整個人像一座山一樣穩住了氣場。他的手「自然地」搭上了玻璃轉盤的邊緣。49Please respect copyright.PENANAfvE83AvFiG
49Please respect copyright.PENANAiqj7Keam6s
就在 Herman 的話音剛起、還未傳到霍生耳邊的一剎那,玻璃轉盤發出了一聲極輕微、但剛好能蓋過 Herman 聲音的「滑動聲」。那條蒸魚的魚頭,像巡航導彈一樣,精準地轉到了 Herman 的面前,那雙死不瞑目的魚眼直勾勾地盯著他,彷彿在說:「食魚啦你。」49Please respect copyright.PENANAkAffzRHht0
49Please respect copyright.PENANAQwN4MGX3JR
與此同時,阿初手裡的茶壺已經到了霍生面前。「霍生,飲杯茶潤下喉先。」阿初的聲音不大,但剛好填補了空白,「頭先講到個鬼佬水兵點樣?」49Please respect copyright.PENANAQpAzhED3tP
49Please respect copyright.PENANARHzk0Pqd0Z
霍生完全沒注意到 Herman 的發言被打斷,接過茶順勢說道:「講到個水兵呀……」Herman 愣了一下,看著面前的魚頭,張了張嘴,最後只能尷尬地夾了一塊薑蔥。49Please respect copyright.PENANA4AfuQr9bK5
49Please respect copyright.PENANAuSEL4XJx2V
酒過三巡。桌上的紅酒已經開了四支。大部分都進了阿初的胃裡。他是總經理的「擋箭牌」,也是這場飯局的氣氛潤滑劑。49Please respect copyright.PENANAivLWWrt9zM
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每當霍生想食夾不到的遠處菜式,轉盤就會「自動」調節距離。當 HR 阿姐想藉著酒意投訴福利削減時,阿初會「剛好」起身幫她換骨碟,那隻碟子切入的角度和時機,剛好封住了她張開的嘴,並順勢塞了一句:「Mary 姐,試下個炸子雞,個皮好脆。」49Please respect copyright.PENANAuHFwOYMxXJ
49Please respect copyright.PENANAX57XWPjS3G
整晚,阿初就像一個隱形的幽靈,用骨碟、茶壺、轉盤,確保霍生的故事線不被切斷。49Please respect copyright.PENANA0GCVud1jIa
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終於,到了甜品:陳皮紅豆沙。49Please respect copyright.PENANABq5PysSkrh
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這是一個關鍵信號。Herman 顯然不想放棄最後的機會。他手裡拿著手機,屏幕上顯示著一張複雜的圖表:「霍生……關於明年 AI 醫療的預算……」49Please respect copyright.PENANAMH787Zexbv
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全桌十個人,有十個人的心裡同時罵了一句「屌!」。霍生臉上的笑容微微僵了一秒。49Please respect copyright.PENANAPQdcC7YcA4
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就在這千鈞一髮之際,阿初出手了。他拿著公匙,將一碗滿滿的紅豆沙「頓」一聲放在了霍生面前。49Please respect copyright.PENANAFVJrI3CaVB
「霍生。」阿初滿臉通紅,帶著七分醉意,三分真誠,指著那碗紅豆沙,「呢間野嘅陳皮,係五十年。您試下個味,係咪同當年杜老誌個味道一樣?」49Please respect copyright.PENANAJKKfGtTD5Q
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這是一個賭注。霍生愣了一下,低頭聞了聞那碗紅豆沙。「咦?真係幾香喎。」霍生拿起了湯匙,忘記了 Herman,也忘記了被破壞的興致,「依家好少地方捨得用靚陳皮啦。」49Please respect copyright.PENANAn7YJqHe4pW
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十分鐘後。霍生心滿意足地擦了擦嘴,站起身:「好啦,都夜啦。你地班後生仔聽日仲要返工,唔阻你地搏殺。」49Please respect copyright.PENANAX21MapkebS
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「多謝霍生!」全桌人異口同聲,那是由衷的感激。49Please respect copyright.PENANAyQXUYNS4Ci
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談道德送霍生上車。阿初癱坐在椅子上,解開領帶,長長地呼了一口氣。「埋單!」49Please respect copyright.PENANAmHWILezarb
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服務員拿著帳單進來。看著上面那個五位數的總額,阿初、談道德以及另外幾個經理,每人拿出信用卡,動作整齊劃一,但簽名時臉上的肌肉都在微微抽搐。這就是社畜的代價。用自己的錢,買老闆的快樂,換取明天的安穩。49Please respect copyright.PENANA2a8uIpqhSn
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「阿初,行得未?」談道德收回信用卡,拍了拍阿初的膊頭,「你今日飲咗成支紅酒,行唔行到直線?」49Please respect copyright.PENANA2VPqmc5BI3
49Please respect copyright.PENANAtvTeQdFUmF
「行到。」阿初站起來,雖然腳步有點浮,但眼神清醒,「我要趕尾班車。皇太后今晚心情一般,如果我帶住一身酒氣返去仲要遲到,我驚今晚連廳都無得瞓。」49Please respect copyright.PENANARdydIMQJtz
49Please respect copyright.PENANAlcCOxnCtiy
Herman 早就黑著臉走了。阿初走出會所,中環的涼風吹來,酒意上湧。他手腕轉了一晚轉盤有點酸,還有……肉赤。49Please respect copyright.PENANApHe9qEt8I9
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「下次……下次食大排檔得唔得呀?」阿初對著談道德的背影喊了一句。49Please respect copyright.PENANAniTN6YpQDC
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「食大排檔霍生會講三小時當年呀!你想死定想破產?」談道德頭也不回地罵道。49Please respect copyright.PENANAEwmMy0LU4C
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阿初縮了縮脖子,裹緊西裝,快步走向地鐵站。只要能準時收工,破產就破產吧。49Please respect copyright.PENANAMlMWOvuJty
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【編劇夥伴吐糟】49Please respect copyright.PENANAkXYArABLzE
「魚眼防禦」:轉盤魚頭對準 Herman 嘅畫面感太強喇。喺高級中菜廳,魚頭對住邊個係有講究嘅,阿初呢下「物理中斷」簡直係藝術,完全體現咗八極拳「硬開門」嘅精髓——唔使打你,用條魚望死你就得。49Please respect copyright.PENANARzTE7DFyy2
49Please respect copyright.PENANArRJQuXNZUj
Herman 呢種職場白目:每個公司總有一兩個 Herman。佢哋以為「專業」就係隨時隨地 PowerPoint 講 KPI,完全唔明「家宴」嘅本質係陪太子讀書。佢果張手機圖表喺五十年陳皮面前,真係顯得好幼稚。49Please respect copyright.PENANA21uI8wawav
49Please respect copyright.PENANAWLdeiEuxbk
五位數嘅「安穩」:睇到阿初簽名果陣肌肉抽搐,我隔住個屏幕都感覺到痛。呢餐飯其實係「保護費」,阿初飲果支紅酒唔係酒,係佢辛苦加班賺返黎嘅血汗錢。49Please respect copyright.PENANA6zRwBG6PzW
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我們都不是英雄
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ISSUE #94
演武
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