2027 年 6 月 25 日。星期五。下午 3:30。57Please respect copyright.PENANAx02BwP0YCN
57Please respect copyright.PENANAm6n56L5yIC
中環的下午三點半,是這個城市摺疊得最厲害的時間點。在太古坊,阿初可能正對著電腦扮打字;在春秧街,沈姐可能正和魚檔老闆講價。但在置地廣場這間高級法式茶座裡,空氣中飄浮著的是Earl Grey 香氣、B&O 音響流淌出的爵士樂,以及一種名為「權力」的費洛蒙。57Please respect copyright.PENANAQ4U5v26ARM
57Please respect copyright.PENANAcZ9GiE1fHd
靠窗的角落,坐著這間餐廳的「絕對防禦核心」。阿敏、嘉嘉、惠妹。57Please respect copyright.PENANAYlcv5VHQp0
57Please respect copyright.PENANAejRGqCcPkQ
這是一場「中環高端 OL 摸魚團」的週五例會。與阿初那種帶點戰略意義的「捉蛇」不同,她們三位此刻是純粹的、毫無愧疚的「摸魚」。桌面上沒有文件,只有精緻的三層架 High Tea Set,以及三部螢幕朝下、開啟了「勿擾模式」的 iPhone Pro Max。57Please respect copyright.PENANAWeaYnuan2a
57Please respect copyright.PENANANrn7oRTM6R
「雖然話係出嚟傾嘢,」惠妹優雅地切開一件 Mille-feuille,語氣慵懶但眼神銳利,「但如果依家公司打嚟,我會話我同緊 Key Person 傾緊下季嘅 Headcount 預算。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAQVoqiZ6g44
57Please respect copyright.PENANAhdfG9oFEVj
「無錯。」嘉嘉穿著一件露肩連身裙,展現著完美線條,「我同緊全港最大會計師樓嘅 Partner 傾緊 IPO 前期準備,邊個敢話我唔係做緊嘢?」57Please respect copyright.PENANA0I98STXHs6
57Please respect copyright.PENANAadGp5RdT3I
阿敏推了推金屬幼框眼鏡,神情是標準的「皇太后」式冷靜:「對於我嚟講,只要我坐喺中環,我嘅呼吸都係計緊 Billable Hours。摸魚(用上了普通話)?那是低端人口嘅講法。我哋呢啲叫『高頻情緒對沖(High-Frequency Emotional Hedging)』。」57Please respect copyright.PENANA1rvLQMXAPv
57Please respect copyright.PENANASHSAuDV6cs
她們享受著這壓縮出來的「少女時光」,暫時忘記了家裡的奧數班、未覆的 Email,以及那個可能正在太古坊扮工的老公。57Please respect copyright.PENANAsihgit0xWb
57Please respect copyright.PENANATIWX7usYOY
然而,中環總有一種生物,叫做「過度自信的雄性」。57Please respect copyright.PENANA3zC0pBHg9Y
57Please respect copyright.PENANAhryqUZ950y
「Excuse me,介唔介意我傾兩句?」一個穿著全套 Tom Ford 西裝、手戴 Patek Philippe Nautilus(不知真假)、梳著油頭的男人走了過來。他臉上掛著那種自以為迷人、實則油膩的笑容。57Please respect copyright.PENANAYGEWi53TKM
57Please respect copyright.PENANAWrd186SZKf
「剛才聽幾位傾計,好似提到 IPO?在下 Vincent,做 PE(私募股權)嘅。見到三位氣質咁出眾,忍唔住想識多個朋友。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAt34vaqrzw7
57Please respect copyright.PENANAJiqd21mgt3
這是一次標準的「中環狩獵」。Vincent 顯然是看中了嘉嘉的外形,又覺得這三個女人雖然氣場強,但多半是容易入手的「闊太」。57Please respect copyright.PENANAG1Dsj8LdUL
57Please respect copyright.PENANAXd1YjtU34O
惠妹的 HR 雷達首先啟動。雖然她在感情世界裡容易對公仔 Ken 這種「慢火煎魚」式的渣男失去防禦,但面對 Vincent 這種低端的「捕食者」,她的抗拒性是本能的。她掃了 Vincent 一眼,嘴角微微上揚,那是看穿了底牌的笑容。57Please respect copyright.PENANAosjFg3sHpv
57Please respect copyright.PENANAWWEIN6Pp0P
嘉嘉放下茶杯,眼神像在評估一台跑步機的折舊率:「Vincent 先生?你件西裝係 Made to Measure,但個膊位好似有啲緊。最近無做 Gym?核心肌群唔夠力,撐唔起件衫喎。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAzxoPLcT8D2
57Please respect copyright.PENANANhEnaXHIei
Vincent 愣了一下,下意識地縮了縮肚子:「呃……最近市況忙……」57Please respect copyright.PENANARAMYJiitB3
57Please respect copyright.PENANAFRrvtGhXEW
「市況忙?」阿敏終於開口了。她拿起餐巾輕輕印了印嘴角,慢慢轉過頭。透過鏡片,她的目光像一台高精度的 X 光機:「Vincent 先生,依家係下晝三點四十五分。如果你真係做 PE 嘅精英,呢個時間你應該係喺會議室同律師鬧緊交,而唔係喺度揸住杯香檳搵人『交流』。」57Please respect copyright.PENANALug8B1dWlF
57Please respect copyright.PENANAh4f13DZtTG
Vincent 的笑容僵住了:「我啱啱見完客……」57Please respect copyright.PENANA40xdHbDokv
57Please respect copyright.PENANARAHCBEhMuT
「見客?」阿敏語氣平淡得令人心寒,「你隻錶係 Nautilus 5711 藍面,但你手腕上無戴過錶嘅長期壓痕,即係話隻錶妳唔係戴開,或者係借返嚟嘅。另外,你隻鞋係 Berluti,但鞋跟磨損程度唔平均,顯示你長期跑數跑得好辛苦。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAh8Estab7oT
57Please respect copyright.PENANAH9ysLSNVLP
惠妹適時補刀,溫柔地笑著:「先生,我做 HR 嘅。你嘅微表情話俾我知,你依家好焦慮。你唔係想識女仔,妳係想搵個有錢嘅水魚幫妳填個倉,係咪?」57Please respect copyright.PENANA0XFbPtUK0M
57Please respect copyright.PENANA8nHvTdpGwX
「唔好意思,我哋呢張枱,唔做不良資產重組。」嘉嘉最後總結,「請回。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAaVbdOtVsDI
57Please respect copyright.PENANALvybowCwX3
這是一場完美的「三位一體」絞殺。阿敏用了審計的觀察力,惠妹用了心理學的洞察力,嘉嘉用了老闆的決斷力。Vincent 感覺自己不是穿著西裝,而是赤身裸體地站在這三個女人面前。57Please respect copyright.PENANAV4SdN1C3VM
57Please respect copyright.PENANAce8erUDh1H
「Sorry……打擾晒。」Vincent 狼狽地轉身離開,連香檳都差點灑出來。57Please respect copyright.PENANARJcyRqF4fk
57Please respect copyright.PENANAIIZjixWcTe
阿敏收回目光,重新拿起刀叉,彷彿剛才只是趕走了一隻蒼蠅。「頭先講到邊?」57Please respect copyright.PENANA1qLVkN4e36
57Please respect copyright.PENANAPB4oGsblFH
「講到下個禮拜想帶軒仔去學游水。」惠妹笑著接話,彷彿 Vincent 從未存在過。57Please respect copyright.PENANAVn8hMx3GxK
57Please respect copyright.PENANACQDKXy7vjd
「去會所囉,我送張 Guest Pass 俾妳。」嘉嘉隨口說道。57Please respect copyright.PENANAnzGHZQlyAD
57Please respect copyright.PENANAmvJa0KZv54
這就是中環高端 OL 的摸魚。她們不需要躲藏,因為她們本身就是規則的制定者。在這個結界裡,她們是擁有絕對話語權的女皇。57Please respect copyright.PENANAAKbLFQ5tlX
57Please respect copyright.PENANAyQH9WKhWek
當然,這頓下午茶的單,合規,合理,合法。57Please respect copyright.PENANAg5SsuUOfbQ
57Please respect copyright.PENANAhrzjOZvsqG
【編劇夥伴吐糟】57Please respect copyright.PENANAiczNpcr8C3
「高頻情緒對沖」:阿敏呢個形容詞真係絕。將「摸魚」昇華到「資產維護成本」,呢種審計師嘅冷幽默真係無敵。喺置地廣場飲茶唔係浪費時間,係幫公司「避險」。57Please respect copyright.PENANA5jx0yr6gIr
57Please respect copyright.PENANAKFhwWpDYyO
惠妹的雙重標準:惠妹可以一眼睇穿 Vincent 嘅焦慮同目的,但當面對公仔 Ken 嗰種情感勒索嗰陣,佢嘅防線就變咗沙堡⋯⋯57Please respect copyright.PENANA4CQusuWfob
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我們都不是英雄
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ISSUE #81
摸魚
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