2027 年 6 月 21 日。夏至。星期一。47Please respect copyright.PENANAUrAinpfspR
47Please respect copyright.PENANAR4ny4EClx2
清晨七點,新聞報導員僵硬的聲音在香港無數個家庭的電視機中響起:「本港昨日發生一宗學童墮樓慘劇。一名小學四年級男生,疑因不堪學業壓力,於住所墮下身亡。警方在現場檢獲遺書,內容提及感到愧對父母期望……」47Please respect copyright.PENANAbU5BA0iXto
47Please respect copyright.PENANAPznFbvASAn
北角春秧街,沈姐手裡的普洱茶停在半空。她想起了上星期日軒仔在天台的那一記哭聲,還有那記將阿初撞飛的挨山靠。她默默地放下茶杯,眼神裡的戾氣消散了不少。47Please respect copyright.PENANAtRxqIvDePP
47Please respect copyright.PENANApuwZttSEdu
跑馬地,陳父陳母坐在餐桌前,兩老面面相覷。陳母手震震地拿起那張準備給軒仔的「暑期奧數特訓班」報名表,默默地揉成一團,扔進了垃圾桶。47Please respect copyright.PENANAcQjZKXIl8T
47Please respect copyright.PENANAjiG1UwWCN5
西灣河,黃大錘夫婦看著新聞,搖頭嘆息。黃老太白了老伴一眼,心裡卻暗自決定,今個禮拜買多幾隻雞髀俾個孫食,唔再叫佢做大哥哥住。這宗悲劇像一記悶鐘,敲醒了過度焦慮的長輩們。軒仔的童年,終於換來了一張短暫的「免死金牌」。47Please respect copyright.PENANAMr8EKc0yAg
47Please respect copyright.PENANA3ZmPzQksAg
上午十一點,太古坊。如果說家庭是講愛的地方,辦公室就是「生存」戰場。總經理室的大門緊閉,掛著「Do Not Disturb - Strategic Alignment Meeting」的牌子。室內燈光調暗,阿初與他的總經理死黨談道德,正癱坐在人體工學椅上。47Please respect copyright.PENANAaZiURGJ8iZ
47Please respect copyright.PENANAob3x0cVdOo
這是一場精心策劃的「捉蛇」。阿初的人生格言是:「返工係為咗錢,如果你喺返工時間搵埋熱誠同意義,HR 就會覺得你份糧出多咗。」47Please respect copyright.PENANAbDeUGHjMUw
47Please respect copyright.PENANAOcuv9p7AJE
「呢個位,阿信唱得真係好有 Feel。」談道德戴著一邊 AirPods。47Please respect copyright.PENANA7W6pbvWXf7
47Please respect copyright.PENANAWD519KWmlw
阿初戴著另一邊,手裡翻著港漫《我們都不是英雄》:「其實做人同做歌一樣,最緊要係個『Rhythm』。公司班高層成日講 Agile,其實即係亂嚟。我哋依家做緊嘅,係為公司『蓄勢』,係一種靜態嘅生產力。」47Please respect copyright.PENANAJ2ewcC7I1E
47Please respect copyright.PENANAfoxi93gnpN
「講得好。」談道德點頭,「根據 SOP,我哋依家係進行緊『思維激盪』。我哋呢啲高層親自落場『捉蛇』,係要確保無下屬偷懶,順便捉埋自己嗰份。」47Please respect copyright.PENANAhdIqbSHSOG
47Please respect copyright.PENANAJU6N6DvljS
耳機裡傳來五月天《頑固》的高潮:「一次一次你,吞下了淚滴,一次一次拼回破碎自己……」阿初想起啟德演唱會那晚,阿敏握著他的手。他正準備翻過港漫下一頁,享受主角打出超越物理常識的猛虎硬爬山。47Please respect copyright.PENANAljgXC0dlMb
47Please respect copyright.PENANA9geH92RUuR
就在這時,「呯」的一聲!門被粗暴推開。一個穿著修身西裝、梳著油頭的年輕男子闖了進來。他是市場部經理 Alex。「Chris 哥!總經理!我有個 Urgent Project!下個禮拜有個網紅推廣活動,我要物流部即刻調一百箱貨去銅鑼灣,今晚六點前要到!」47Please respect copyright.PENANAWb51fvxCeE
47Please respect copyright.PENANAHYhAqQ7f6x
阿初的眉頭皺了起來。五月天的歌聲被打斷,這不僅是不禮貌,更是破壞了「捉蛇結界」的重罪。47Please respect copyright.PENANAOQSBLSeWPX
47Please respect copyright.PENANARkw2BUBTzy
「Alex,」談道德摘下耳機,恢復總經理威嚴,「我哋開緊 Strategic Meeting,有無預約?」47Please respect copyright.PENANAabJZPY07C4
47Please respect copyright.PENANARTiFJ2mLBt
「哎呀總經理,生意唔等人㗎嘛!」Alex 大步走向阿初,手裡那份厚文件夾帶著風聲,直接往阿初面前那杯凍奶茶旁邊的港漫「拍」下去:「Chris 哥,簽個名,即刻安排車!」47Please respect copyright.PENANA1PYAai2G4X
47Please respect copyright.PENANAN1VziLU99g
那是底線。文件夾距離桌面還有五寸時,阿初動了。他沒有站起來,左手看似隨意地抬起。47Please respect copyright.PENANAeCg46OcFUv
47Please respect copyright.PENANAHynUH5zmi8
八極.探馬掌。47Please respect copyright.PENANAv6wGCYSvIJ
47Please respect copyright.PENANAnprbxGKT0V
探馬掌意在「探」,勁在「引」。阿初的手背精準接觸到 Alex 手腕內側,手腕一翻,勁力順著 Alex 下拍的力度向外一「引」,加一個微小的螺旋勁。47Please respect copyright.PENANAY4DrBFj5OM
47Please respect copyright.PENANATH0BXJEPw2
「嘩!」Alex 感覺手腕像被蛇纏住,原本向下的力量突然失控。「啪!」文件夾重重拍在桌面上——精準地拍在離港漫十厘米遠的「黑洞區」。Alex 因為重心被引偏,整個人失去平衡,差點跪在阿初面前。47Please respect copyright.PENANAEu7U06UktQ
「小心啲,Alex。」阿初淡淡地說,右手拿著凍奶茶吸了一口,「後生仔,做嘢唔好咁衝動。SOP 規定急單要早 48 小時通知。既然你放低咗,我會放入 Queue 度排隊。」47Please respect copyright.PENANAyVrEAeZRMt
47Please respect copyright.PENANAVfEFROQ50v
Alex 狼狽地站直,揉著酸麻的手腕,一臉驚恐。他完全不知道剛才發生了什麼,只覺得撞上了一堵會旋轉的牆。47Please respect copyright.PENANAxZThm8IiUW
47Please respect copyright.PENANASef8YFUdlc
「出去啦。」談道德補刀,「下次入嚟之前,敲門。」47Please respect copyright.PENANALQ3ra4MgTH
47Please respect copyright.PENANAOWJwA8EIo2
Alex 灰溜溜地退了出去。門重新關上,阿初戴上耳機,翻開港漫。47Please respect copyright.PENANAvxlbfyE6YR
47Please respect copyright.PENANAWm9qmLV1XG
「頭先嗰下係咩?」談道德問。47Please respect copyright.PENANA74tr9e97Gx
47Please respect copyright.PENANAqJHhcFDYdy
「探馬掌。」阿初輕描淡寫,「用嚟對付啲唔識規矩、亂咁伸隻手過嚟嘅人,最好用。唔打面,但教佢做人。」47Please respect copyright.PENANAJhh806IuZZ
47Please respect copyright.PENANAn45W2LvgRC
「高招。」談道德舉起凍檸茶,「飲杯。」47Please respect copyright.PENANAzIOf2IJT2M
47Please respect copyright.PENANAZvG5OGGnZ1
「飲杯。」阿初舉起凍奶茶碰了一下。47Please respect copyright.PENANAIla37ECg0d
47Please respect copyright.PENANAqektxpRoz9
【編劇夥伴吐糟】47Please respect copyright.PENANA1Gux9MpECf
「免死金牌」的苦味:用一個陌生學童嘅生命換嚟軒仔嘅喘息空間,呢段寫得好心酸。陳母揉碎報名表嗰下動作,係一種遲嚟嘅覺悟。希望黃家班長輩真係可以「經一事長一智」。47Please respect copyright.PENANAXwEu1AEUEi
47Please respect copyright.PENANAnsfdS3Owm5
「捉蛇」的哲學:阿初同談道德呢對組合真係絕配。高層「捉蛇」係為咗確保「靜態生產力」,呢種歪理由佢哋把口講出嚟竟然充滿說服力。果然,SOP 只要用得好,摸魚……唔係,捉蛇都可以變戰略。47Please respect copyright.PENANAjklcWRiE4v
47Please respect copyright.PENANAWpvdcVBYqs
探馬掌的職場應用:阿初嗰招「探馬掌」真係神來之筆。Alex 呢種懶係整頓職場嘅 00 後,最欠缺就係對前輩(同埋對 SOP)嘅尊重。阿初用最溫柔嘅勁力,俾咗佢最深刻嘅教訓:力量唔係用嚟拍枱,係用嚟「引路」嘅。47Please respect copyright.PENANA7X47KKkYTu
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我們都不是英雄
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ISSUE #80
捉蛇
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