2026 年 7 月下旬。星期日,清晨。北角海濱長廊。60Please respect copyright.PENANAiZFHZ5jCYn
星期日早晨的海濱長廊,擠滿了晨運的老公公、慢跑的後生仔,還有成群結隊去北角碼頭等船的街坊。在這種人人都要為生活奔波的時空,陸老頭那身清朝長袍和那張太師椅,惹得路過的阿伯紛紛側目,甚至有細路指著大喊:「媽咪,嗰度拍緊大戲呀!」60Please respect copyright.PENANApYzHCxsJtS
「行快啲啦,阻住條路。」一個推著手推車收紙皮的阿婆不耐煩地撞了一下太師椅的腳,「好心你哋啦,咁大個人仲扮鬼扮馬。」60Please respect copyright.PENANAaZShz9DTLT
就在「雲中鶴」陸老頭被阿婆鬧得面色鐵青,準備對阿初「執行家法」時,遠處碼頭邊傳來一陣喧鬧。一班穿著廉價西裝、看起來像收數佬多過武林中人的大漢,推著一個縮頭縮腦、滿臉油膩的七十歲老頭走了過來。60Please respect copyright.PENANArN0QhJ2R83
「喂!白鶴門嘅陸老鬼!你哋要嘅『債務人』我哋幫你捉到喇!」帶頭的大漢扯開嗓門,「呢條老嘢叫李樸佳,佢當年唔單止偷你哋幅圖,仲欠落我哋大佬一筆老數。聽講今日你哋喺度講數,我哋特登帶佢嚟,睇下邊個肯填咗張單!」60Please respect copyright.PENANAvEGkjrSRvJ
師父聽見「李樸佳」三個字,手裡的腸粉袋差點被捏爆。60Please respect copyright.PENANA6gstVdOR8V
阿初與阿敏對視一眼。阿初並不認識這個叫李樸佳的男人,但他從師父那近乎殺人的眼神中猜到了答案——這就是那個失蹤了三十年的「死鬼老公」。60Please respect copyright.PENANA0UcMFDbdZ0
那個穿著破爛夏威夷襯衫、滿身酒氣的老頭,哪裡還有半點傳聞中八極門大師兄「玉樹臨風」的影子?帶頭的大漢嘲笑道:「呢條老嘢當年喺城寨跟人搵快錢,結果唔生眼撞正個叫『洛軍』嘅硬嘢,俾人一拳打斷咗後腰骨,依家連屎尿都未必忍得住,仲講咩大師兄?」60Please respect copyright.PENANAARRLTbSzjy
李樸佳看著師父,竟然還厚著臉皮乾笑,隨後眼神猥瑣地在穿著緊身瑜伽褲、曲線玲瓏的阿敏身上掃視,露出一口黃牙:「嘿嘿,阿芳……幾十年無見,妳老咗好多。反而你隔壁呢位金絲眼鏡小阿嫂正喎,前凸後翹……當年我走,都係因為妳張嘴太毒,生活太悶……」60Please respect copyright.PENANAXNWp0GPqLm
「我仆你個街李樸佳!」60Please respect copyright.PENANAY0kesdLQvZ
阿敏踏前一步,擋在師父身前,看著李樸佳的眼神像在看一堆過期的醫療廢物。60Please respect copyright.PENANAu3bM4i38Ny
「你呢種男人,走咗三十年無畀過一蚊贍養費,返嚟第一句係調戲後輩?」阿敏冷笑一聲,轉頭看向陸老頭和那班高利貸,「仲有你哋呢班穿越嘅白痴。今日係星期日,難得放假,你哋竟然有時間喺度圍住一個廢老玩『武林恩怨』?你哋係咪唔使返工?係咪唔使供樓呀?」60Please respect copyright.PENANAIGY9mnok0Q
旁邊晨運的街坊紛紛起哄:「係囉!報警啦,呢啲人神神化化阻住晒!」陸老頭被噴得面紅耳赤,鐵扇一抖:「沈秀芳!既然賊人已到,快啲叫佢交出信物!」60Please respect copyright.PENANAaxaeqOed4Q
「秘你個頭呀!」阿敏舉起手中的 iPhone Pro Max,顯示著一張發黃的舊海報圖片,「阿伯,張所謂『白鶴亮翅圖』,我尋晚幫師父做咗個盡職審查。根據 1930 年代南洋煙草公司嘅記錄,你哋所謂嘅秘笈,其實係當年印嘅香煙廣告海報複製品。九成係當年印得精美,個模特兒擺甫士似白鶴亮翅,先被你哋師祖爺當成寶。」60Please respect copyright.PENANA56q7pK4N3y
阿敏將屏幕隊到陸老頭眼前:「你哋為咗一張淘寶都未必有人買嘅廣告紙,喺 2026 年搵咁多人嚟演大戲?你哋嘅常識評級係咪負分呀?」60Please respect copyright.PENANAvkiHB4tV31
陸老頭愣住了,看著屏幕上那張寫著「南洋兄弟煙草」的美女圖,啞口無言。60Please respect copyright.PENANAVXhxbZJ8Aj
師父終於忍無可忍,反手一記「探馬掌」——狠狠扇在李樸佳臉上。「啪!」60Please respect copyright.PENANASV6OYaUtr2
「呢條廢柴當年偷咗去,係諗住賣畀古董商換賭本,結果人哋話呢張嘢連當衛生紙都嫌硬,佢嬲嬲哋就攞去墊咗火鍋底燒咗喇!」師父罵道。60Please respect copyright.PENANANT2KjmtdxL
李樸佳被打得原地轉圈,竟然還想向在旁的阿初求救:「後生仔……你係阿芳徒弟,叫我聲師丈,救下我……」阿初冷漠地看著他。這個男人拋棄了師父,現在竟然還有臉叫救命。60Please respect copyright.PENANAYTHA6XxsfN
「李先生,我師父係沈姐,唔係你。」阿初使出一記帶著極度嫌棄的「推門勁」。「你當年走,係因為你賤;你今日返嚟,係因為你蠢。既然你得罪咗咁多人,我就代師父送你最後一程。」60Please respect copyright.PENANAUgOg21MmdP
「砰!」李樸佳像個垃圾袋一樣,直接跌進了那些高利貸和白鶴門弟子的懷裡。60Please respect copyright.PENANAxlV1aEbXjn
「帶佢走。」阿初拍了拍手,「佢欠你哋嘅數,自己慢慢計。但我警告你哋,如果再上門攪攪震,我老婆會送你哋入法庭,我會送你哋入醫院。」60Please respect copyright.PENANARoulId3DLP
陸老頭看著阿初的態度,再看看阿敏那張隨時準備報警的臉,終於崩潰。帶著一班徒弟,夾著哀嚎的李樸佳狼狽竄逃。60Please respect copyright.PENANA4JsLKyMO2b
海濱長廊恢復了平靜。師父看著那群人離去的背影,沈默了兩秒。60Please respect copyright.PENANAIvFT6oyCss
「頂,嘥晒我袋腸粉。」師父舉起手裡那袋涼透了的早餐,一臉心痛,「買咗成廿蚊㗎,凍晒點食呀?」60Please respect copyright.PENANA2GrireFzz0
阿初和阿敏愣了一下,隨即相視一笑。這才是沈姐。60Please respect copyright.PENANAs3SYgw9YCh
「師父,行啦。」阿敏挽起師父的手,語氣難得溫柔,「阿初訂咗位,我哋去飲早茶。李樸佳呢種人,連入我哋屋企嘅賬目都唔配,當佢死咗就得喇。」60Please respect copyright.PENANA4o2ryOBVGJ
「係囉,去飲茶,我要食鳳爪排骨飯。」師父隨手丟掉腸粉,頭也不回。60Please respect copyright.PENANAB7IIC6eFAW
60Please respect copyright.PENANAhzGjLcoS4A
【編劇夥伴吐糟】60Please respect copyright.PENANAyhDGrPbjMl
李樸佳的「晚節不保」:對《九龍城寨》嘅致敬感出晒嚟之餘,亦都說明咗李樸佳呢種人喺真正嘅江湖高手面前,根本就係個笑話。佢見到阿敏仲敢口花花,真係嫌命長。60Please respect copyright.PENANABHJTHlOjTN
60Please respect copyright.PENANAczXZdAZyDH
南洋煙草廣告:呢個真相對白鶴門嚟講簡直係「降維打擊」。一個門派嘅「信仰」原來係張香煙廣告,陸老頭個心碎嘅聲我喺屏幕出面都聽到。60Please respect copyright.PENANA1aND13FlgG
60Please respect copyright.PENANANrIMmIEH5O
阿敏的「溫柔」:阿敏雖然鬧李樸佳鬧得最兇,但最後挽住師父隻手去飲茶嗰下,真係睇得出佢已經將沈姐當成親人。呢種溫情,係對李樸佳呢種廢老最強嘅反擊。60Please respect copyright.PENANAEgYGjhbWJz
60Please respect copyright.PENANAY1PM7by2qp
腸粉的價值:二十蚊腸粉 > 三十年恩怨。呢個就係正常人嘅常識。60Please respect copyright.PENANAQZTA3yCEWl
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我們都不是英雄
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ISSUE #37
恩怨一招了
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