2026 年 6 月下旬。星期六,上午 10:00。北角七姊妹道。64Please respect copyright.PENANA31IduVPJOB
自從搬到北角丹拿花園,阿初一家最神聖、最有儀式感的「周六全家茶餐廳時光」確實發生了翻天覆地的變化。以前在鯉景灣,那是漫步海濱後的悠閒點綴;而在北角,這是一場關於速度、音量與生存智慧的硬仗。64Please respect copyright.PENANAJ2PxVzI0ra
尤其是今日,這是阿敏坐月「出關」的第一日。因為阿斗早產,阿敏的產假由「前四後六」變成了「前二後八」。在家中悶了一個月、核銷了無數尿片預算後,皇太后急需呼吸一下北角帶有「鑊氣」的空氣。64Please respect copyright.PENANAcgiNR3owxZ
阿初小心翼翼地推著嬰兒車,裡面坐著剛滿月、體型還有點細小的阿斗。阿敏挽著手袋,眼神凌厲如刀,牽著瑤瑤,軒仔則在前面帶路。一家五口浩浩蕩蕩走進了鄰近舊樓群、那間格調硬朗的「強記」茶餐廳。64Please respect copyright.PENANA6FAG6fEWmf
「五位!有無位呀?」阿初扯開喉嚨大喊,聲音差點被隔壁檯談賽馬的阿伯淹沒。64Please respect copyright.PENANAyBHiQJyBUS
「五位?等陣啦!縮入去水吧位嗰邊先!」伙計傻明頭也不抬,手裡的絲襪奶茶甩出一道弧線,差點濺到阿斗的嬰兒車。64Please respect copyright.PENANAaVtqJqLHOy
好不容易擠進了一個卡位,空間核數師阿敏的臉色已經開始發青。64Please respect copyright.PENANAFiasSm06CZ
「阿初,你睇下。」阿敏指著桌上那層泛著油光的玻璃,以及對面檯那個正對著阿斗打噴嚏的叔叔,壓抑了一個月的強迫症瞬間爆發,「呢度嘅人口密度已經超越咗我嘅容忍極限,而且呢陣牛腩汁味,已經滲入咗瑤瑤件衫入面!」64Please respect copyright.PENANAO0CylATyM9
「老婆,北角係咁㗎啦……」阿初正想安撫,卻看見傻明端著五杯熱咖啡大喝一聲:「借過呀!滾水呀!」64Please respect copyright.PENANAh3p5p5ETvC
傻明腳步浮浮,托盤擦著瑤瑤的耳朵飛過,幾滴熱水濺落在桌面上。這一下,徹底點燃了皇太后的火藥桶。64Please respect copyright.PENANAJ49aKQ0h58
「喂!伙計!」阿敏猛地站起身,火力全開,「你有無搞錯呀?呢度有個早產、啱啱滿月嘅手抱BB,你咁樣托住幾杯熱咖啡橫衝直撞?如果你隻手唔穩,係咪打算寫份意外報告畀我審呀?仲有,我叫咗嗰份特餐等咗十五分鐘,隔壁檯遲過我哋反而到咗?你哋呢度嘅處理邏輯係咪有 Bug 呀?」64Please respect copyright.PENANAfzyFbvL6Hs
傻明被噴得一愣一愣,原本想回嘴:「女人仔咁多聲氣做乜……」64Please respect copyright.PENANAtQ78l9puWK
「睇咩呀?我而家唔係同你講感情,係同你講職業安全同服務效率!快啲將我嗰份火腿通粉送上嚟,仲有,拎塊乾淨嘅抹布過嚟抹咗呢撻油佢!」阿敏一個「皇太后之瞪」,硬生生把傻明的廢話逼了回去。64Please respect copyright.PENANAKFsGtA7Ad9
阿初在隔壁看著,心裡暗讚:搬到北角後,老婆的戰鬥力已經進化到了「街頭霸王」級別。64Please respect copyright.PENANAgkqfJI32xn
但阿初也沒閒著。就在阿敏處理「行政漏洞」時,一個身形魁梧的大漢見這張卡位還有空隙,竟然不問一聲就想強行「搭枱」。他看準軒仔和瑤瑤人仔細細,屁股一扭,就想硬擠進去,嘴裡嘟囔著:「細路仔坐過啲啦。」64Please respect copyright.PENANAybG4tHLlME
阿初眼神一沉,左手穩穩扶著阿斗的嬰兒車,右手卻在桌子底下無聲無息地搭在了大漢膝蓋內側。這是八極拳實實在在的「橫撥勁」。64Please respect copyright.PENANABU58Te1bT3
「哇!」大漢重心莫名偏了,整個人「滑」了一下,一屁股坐到了通道地上,發出「砰」的一聲巨響。64Please respect copyright.PENANAa2ggMkFiqH
「你搞邊科呀?」大漢惱羞成怒,揮拳就想找阿初晦氣。64Please respect copyright.PENANAfwGA021tmx
阿初緩緩站起身,雙腳分開,肩膀微沉,像座山一樣擋在阿斗和家人面前。「我話,呢度有人坐。你要搭枱,去第二度。」阿初語氣平靜,卻有一種不容置疑的威壓。64Please respect copyright.PENANApWjAV2tMiD
就在氣氛僵持之時,一把低沉的聲音響起。64Please respect copyright.PENANAxN6ehuVmYB
「傻明,你搞咩呀?」一個留著鬚根、外型酷似任達華的男人走出來。他就是「強記」的老闆——任老闆。64Please respect copyright.PENANApfCz2m7wEL
任老闆看了一眼燥動的大漢,又看了一眼桌上的熱水漬。「阿哥,我哋雖然係茶餐廳,但都講規矩。你嚇親細路,仲想郁手?係咪想我報警請你去飲咖啡?」64Please respect copyright.PENANAXFv7KNrhhI
大漢見任老闆出面,灰溜溜地走了。任老闆轉過頭,看著阿敏,眼中閃過一絲欣賞。「嚟位太太,頭先傻明魯莽,我代佢道個歉。熱水撞到細路可大可小,係我哋管理不善。傻明!仲唔抹乾淨張枱?」64Please respect copyright.PENANA0RH5dMwcDJ
「多謝老闆,我係對事唔對人。」阿敏推了推眼鏡,氣場收斂了一點。64Please respect copyright.PENANABU93yTzTrV
「明白,有道理嘅人,去到邊都應該受尊重。」任老闆指了指角落一張寬敞的卡位,「個邊張位原本留畀我自己坐嘅,你哋一家大細坐嗰邊。今日幾杯奶茶,算我請。」64Please respect copyright.PENANA373AEnABVw
「多謝。」阿初憨厚地笑了笑,轉場。64Please respect copyright.PENANApmoFyaCXJp
十分鐘後,熱騰騰的通粉擺在專屬卡位上。阿斗被吵醒了開始哇哇大哭,但這一家五口在紛亂中,竟然吃出了一種「受保護」的安心感。64Please respect copyright.PENANAuu6VR0V2gC
「阿初,」阿敏一邊幫阿斗餵奶,一邊咬了一口西多士,「呢個老闆算係明白事理。北角呢種生活節奏,真係要全天候『火力全開』先得。」64Please respect copyright.PENANAdfju5ry9dk
「老婆,妳適應得好快。」阿初幫她把奶茶裡的糖攪勻,「呢度就係北角,呢啲就係生活。雖然嘈,但講道理嘅人,依然會有佢嘅位置。」64Please respect copyright.PENANAbLX6iKSWBF
64Please respect copyright.PENANAJ16UtnEI3q
【編劇夥伴吐糟】64Please respect copyright.PENANARqLYfIVTPa
阿敏的「出關之戰」:阿敏呢場戲真係壓抑太耐喇。早產阿斗喺屋企嗰個月,阿敏肯定每日都喺度計緊「如果奶粉量唔準會點」、「如果溫度差一度會點」。傻明撞到熱水,直頭係撞落阿敏嘅逆鱗度,佢用「處理邏輯有 Bug」嚟鬧人,真係好有佢風格。64Please respect copyright.PENANA3U4ZZPZuqB
64Please respect copyright.PENANA7HRv5boksm
任老闆的「英雄惜英雄」:任老闆(任達華外型)一出場就定咗位。佢欣賞阿敏唔係因為佢兇,係因為阿敏「講道理」。喺北角呢種舊區,一個講道理、有氣場嘅阿嫂,往往比黑社會更受尊重。64Please respect copyright.PENANAl6oUR7wXVr
64Please respect copyright.PENANAYYyf8zebK7
強記的「基地化」:由今日開始,強記就變成咗阿初一家喺北角嘅「前進基地」。以後喺七姊妹道發生咩事,任老闆呢個「影帝級」地頭蛇都會係佢哋嘅助力。64Please respect copyright.PENANAJTXLekdbPm
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我們都不是英雄
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ISSUE #33
識英雄重英雄
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