I have three things I want to do with my life: go to my dream college (Yale, of course), become a successful entrepreneur and throw all of those sleazy old men in the dust (respectfully and professionally, of course), and NOT find love. Now, let me give some context to that last one there. To do so, we're gonna need to go back decades. Cue the flashback sounds that you hear in movies-
Mary Jones was born in 1901 to a well-off white family with dreams for her. She was taught to be the perfect housewife and was taught how to cook, clean, and be the perfect wife for her future husband. Despite not gaining a formal education, Mary proved to be a clever and witty girl that enjoyed quoting literature, which her mother looked down upon. Her father, on the other hand, adored Mary and her intelligence. He showed her what true love and respect looked like. It was because of her father that Mary began to desire true love, not just being married off as the next step in life.
Suddenly, it’s 1923. The Roaring Twenties are in; but, Mary isn’t interested. Even though she was brilliant and sharp-tongued, she desired, more than anything, true love. She was out grocery shopping one day, with her mother, when an equally precocious young man approached her. Lawrence Brown was the definition of trouble, Mary knew this. Her father had taught her what actual respect is and Lawrence wasn’t the kind of man to give that. But, nonetheless, she fell in love at first sight. Their love started out small and short. Handwritten letters, secret kisses when no one was looking, but then their love grew stronger. It became enticing and dramatic, and soon, my grandmother became a product of that dramatic love.
Despite it being the new era, Mary’s pregnancy was considered to be shameful to her family and friends. Her parents completely cut off contact with her and Mary found herself fourteen weeks pregnant, with a man that she was unsure could be a father. It wasn’t until Mary was nineteen weeks pregnant that Lawrence began to question her.
“Mary, you have been sick more often and, take this kindly, but you have been gaining more weight recently. Is there something you need to tell me?”
Mary broke down at that moment. She confessed about her pregnancy and how everyone had cut off contact with her for becoming pregnant out of wedlock. Mary expected Lawrence to walk away, to leave completely, to do anything but what he actually did. He embraced her.
“Mary, my life started the day that I laid eyes on you. The joy of a child means that my second life is beginning. Give me the chance to prove I deserve my second life.”
Lawrence proposed to Mary a week after the confession. Pulling out a ring from his breast pocket, Lawrence got down one one knee. Mary's hands were covered in white flour from her usual baking. Her eyes boggled as she stared at the glistening ring.
"Mary Jones, will you make me the happiest man and father, and spend your forever with me?"
After a courthouse wedding, Lawrence and Mary spent their time together in bliss. Whether it be baking in the kitchen, going on evening walks, or dancing to silence in the foyer, they were always together. Soon, another was able to join their forever. Edith Brown was born in 1924. She was the exact replica of her father and it brought immense joy to Lawrence. He praised her good looks and her demanding personality. He, like Mary’s father, was a role model of true love for Edith. Like a girl enticed by a Disney movie, Edith’s eyes sparkled at the thought of a man sweeping her off of her feet. For 5 years of her life, her father was the man sweeping Edith off her feet. Then, the Great Depression struck. Lawrence lost his job and struggled to find work. Mary constantly worried if there was enough food to feed her daughter. Edith, despite her parents’ best efforts, saw all of this and worried for her parents’ well being.
Ugly stares were soon shared across dinner tables, arguments spewed behind closed doors, and a loss of love was felt in the air. Eventually, arguments turned into blowups, they carried to open rooms, and they did not care for its disruption. It was at this time that Edith stopped seeing her father as the prince that swept the princess of her feet. She stopped showing her demanding personality and she stopped finding the good in her appearance. She stopped enjoying everything about herself. Her father had stopped being the man that she hoped to find for herself one day.
Edith could hear her parents fighting in the bedroom, with the door cracked open. Edith sat at the kitchen table, trying her best to ignore the high-pitched screams of her mother’s cries. The door slammed wide open with a start. Mary and Lawrence’s voices grew louder and closer.
“Mary, you haven’t supported me at all since all of this happened! You demand that I give you what you want, but what about what I want? When will I finally matter to you?”
Tears streamed down Mary’s face. In a shaky voice, she replied, “Do you even realize everything I sacrificed for you? I have only thought of you since the day that I met you!”
Her voice croaked, like she was holding back more tears than she had already cried.
“I gave up my family, my friends, and whatever future my parents wanted for me to be with you! Someone who clearly has never been grateful for any of it!”, she screamed.
Lawrence’s face relaxed. He had no more anger in his eyes. The animosity disappeared. He didn't say anything. He simply grabbed his hat, coat, and briefcase. As he approached the front door, Mary gave out one last gasping scream.
“Where are you going!?”, she cried out.
“Job hunting.”, he said, shortly. Lawrence undid the door latch and walked out into the brisk evening. He didn’t turn around to look at the house he spent countless joyful evenings with his wife and daughter with. He didn’t pause to think about what he was leaving behind.
Mary broke out in sobs and collapsed to the floor, unaware of what the future would hold for her failing marriage and her daughter. Mary’s sobs and hiccups echoed through the hallways, without a loving embrace to soothe.
Edith, still sitting at the kitchen table, stayed silent. She didn’t retreat to her bedroom or burrow in her mother’s arms. She stayed seated at the kitchen table as tears wallowed in her eyes. Her parents had fought a countless amount of time. But, somehow, this felt more serious than any of the others. They had never fought in front of her and her father had never left in the middle of a fight either. This fight felt life changing.
Days after the blowup, Mary would stare out the main window, praying that her husband would return. She prayed that he would bring good news of employment or a big bag full of groceries. In the evenings, Mary would roll up her sleeves and tie an apron on, preparing to cook three meals, knowing that only two would get eaten. Eventually, however, Mary stopped gazing out the window hoping to catch a glimpse of him, she stopped praying for his return, and she stopped making him meals.
It was not until 1940, that Mary and Edith saw Lawrence again. Mary and Edith were in the town's square, on a short walk, when they saw him. He was with a woman and a young boy that appeared to be about eleven years old, the amount of years it had been since he left and never looked back. They hadn’t noticed Mary and Edith, as they gazed at the storefronts, wondering what they should spoil the adolescent boy with.
Fury grew within Edith. Her eyes glowed red and she found her feet stepping towards her father. Mary cried out for her to stop, but Edith continued to walk, step-by step. It wasn’t until she was close enough to grip the corner of his coat did she stop. She watched the boy’s face light up when he spotted something in the storefront that he liked. She noticed the woman’s gentle smile and her father’s smiling eyes. The eyes that used to be filled with rage, boredom, or joy for her were directed at someone else. Edith was no longer the object of her father’s world and she hadn’t been in a long time.
Edith turned swiftly, hoping not to make her father or his family aware of her presence, and quickly made her way back to her mother. Her mother stared at her with a perplexed expression.
“I didn’t think anything would stop you? So, what did?”, she asked. Edith glanced back at the ecstatic face of the boy, not giving her mother an answer.
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd5XLFHgDTB
This grueling idea of romance would repeat with my grandmother, Edith. It repeated with my mother, and most, though they won't say it, expect me to repeat the same story. I, however, refuse to live the tragedy of my bloodline. I will be the change in the story. I will NOT find love.
ns216.73.216.134da2
and then Add to home screen.