當海浪侵襲時,或許可以暫時抵擋住,但往左往右看就會發現,它只是轉移到其他地方而已。82Please respect copyright.PENANAWHJ2l7siVm
「整天只會跟在老師旁邊。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAn7PRZK9hxv
「成績好是因為老師洩題吧。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAfENqjvkqup
「別擺出這副樣子了,裝什麼可憐。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAJ9CxQrsrlb
「你到底有什麼用。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAbW34f6LchZ
「你幹嘛要留在世上啊?」82Please respect copyright.PENANArjcAz18auT
「你的存在本身就是個失敗。」82Please respect copyright.PENANA21TgBYzbWL
「藍奇馭,你聽好了。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAeUwpQxG51v
「消失吧。」82Please respect copyright.PENANA8mImUvDYGX
「越快越好。」82Please respect copyright.PENANARCdn8x14yN
「快點消失。」82Please respect copyright.PENANArQet8PwDot
「......。」82Please respect copyright.PENANA7b52hH30K7
「消失就不用思考了。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAfrFB1knIDL
就像這樣。82Please respect copyright.PENANABr3n7AMwDD
從上次與段亞音出門後,這些聲音已經大到不管我再怎麼擋,都無法分散,就這樣被推著走。82Please respect copyright.PENANAbpizk6l8Kv
82Please respect copyright.PENANAuRaOZzTuXi
「藍?你有聽到嗎?」段亞音站在我面前,雙手在我面前揮了揮。82Please respect copyright.PENANANg49SCOU7g
我看了眼段亞音,又撇眼看了她身邊的兩個朋友。82Please respect copyright.PENANAPzzIFjA6tv
除了段亞音,她們的眼神都好不友善。82Please respect copyright.PENANA9cZGmD1A4d
是因為我跟段亞音出去玩,她們生氣了吧。對不起,我沒那個資格,甚至還傷害了她。82Please respect copyright.PENANADxAeCYBp1s
對不起。82Please respect copyright.PENANAy9x8MbJ5Yg
對不起段亞音。82Please respect copyright.PENANAvYpFHTAbP8
對不起所有人。82Please respect copyright.PENANAIvQZ8cDhH5
我真的深感抱歉。82Please respect copyright.PENANAOJdDYkW8Pt
快點讓我消失。82Please respect copyright.PENANARjsSb9wSNY
越快越好。82Please respect copyright.PENANA7R0cRswk1F
快...82Please respect copyright.PENANAwViwh5eoAZ
「藍奇馭!」82Please respect copyright.PENANA87b2KqOdPk
我感覺到我的肩膀被重重搖了好幾下。82Please respect copyright.PENANAwwHV5mJtvd
段亞音的臉在我正前方,近到可以感受到她的吐息,可以觀察到她的任何表情變化。82Please respect copyright.PENANAh9CJTxzhPt
她現在雙眉緊皺,眼睛注視著我,絲毫沒有移開的意思。82Please respect copyright.PENANASmjmUwmByE
擔憂?憂愁?緊張?又或是同情?憐憫?82Please respect copyright.PENANAsMRcS3l3Kk
我輕輕的把她的手從我肩上挪開並開口,「那那那那那...段...段...」82Please respect copyright.PENANA03XDTPhVHW
話在嘴邊卻說不出來。82Please respect copyright.PENANA7yqnLIb0cc
雙唇不斷顫抖,腦袋思緒也非常亂,但越急我就越無法說出話,現在這副模樣,任誰看來都非常奇怪吧。82Please respect copyright.PENANABejA1G9Yqq
「你先不要說話。」她又再度抓住了我的肩膀,只是這次是繞到我的背後,她就這樣推著我到教室外。82Please respect copyright.PENANAKgGSzSHfLH
我們一路走著,到了比較不會有人經過的樓梯轉角。82Please respect copyright.PENANAWlI1knpBjQ
她停下腳步,雙手離開我的肩膀,再繞到我面前。82Please respect copyright.PENANAHpms2mgHQq
「你從上週末開始,整個人都很奇怪......」她好像覺得自己說錯話,又趕緊改口,「不對,我是說你整個人感覺意識都不在這裡。不是說了我一點都不在意你上週末出去的事嗎?」82Please respect copyright.PENANAw5EriHYxzN
我勾勾嘴角,但不知道該說些什麼。82Please respect copyright.PENANA1AAjr1tpDR
「還是說有其它事?我不是要你一定要說出來,是想跟你說,不要什麼事都自己一個人扛,好嗎?」82Please respect copyright.PENANA6Qgkx9eeY7
看著段亞音的雙眼,我腦中雖然飛過了數不清的詞語,但最終我只說了句,「我...我盡力。」82Please respect copyright.PENANA9INtSeXUJS
她將失望展露無遺,下一秒又馬上消失,給了我一個淺淺的微笑並說,「好。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAuN9OpDEb3e
我真的好失敗呢。82Please respect copyright.PENANA6yPDvEYByP
82Please respect copyright.PENANAB3CxXxGDKl
今天放學,我不想與任何人說話,包含段亞音,所以鐘聲一響,我用最快的速度回到了家。82Please respect copyright.PENANAatMwMBYXCV
終於只有我一個人了。82Please respect copyright.PENANAo8tQGNNax5
一進到家門,將書包丟到一旁,再將穿了一整天的外套脫掉,坐在我的書桌上。82Please respect copyright.PENANAQeVUF3PZUW
看了眼左手手臂上密密麻麻且紊亂的線條,有的是白色的,有的是棕色的。有些是立體的,有的則比較淺,是平滑的。82Please respect copyright.PENANAd1rM67QDOk
越看越出神。82Please respect copyright.PENANAJc8t58uQrs
我深呼吸了幾口氣。82Please respect copyright.PENANAQh7DuRHVyK
吸---82Please respect copyright.PENANApl4js7LIQM
「欸藍奇馭,你真的很爛。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAFdrcNH6hl9
吐---82Please respect copyright.PENANAyFwAoCo5i6
「你好奇怪喔,真的真的很奇怪。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAGsXEkBzqfw
吸---82Please respect copyright.PENANArzxPWBFcON
「你都不講話欸,是不會講嗎?」82Please respect copyright.PENANAogIsMAFEtn
吐---82Please respect copyright.PENANAeVinb6jC8V
「藍奇馭,你讓我好失望。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAxvsBvvYpRE
吸---82Please respect copyright.PENANArmgqJzaK4j
「我真是後悔把你養到那麼大!」82Please respect copyright.PENANAvtZDMCryaY
吐---82Please respect copyright.PENANAWwiKLAd4fi
「矮冬瓜哈哈哈,你那麼嬌小還想打我?」82Please respect copyright.PENANATIwV1iCFNi
「你什麼都不會。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAcc0NLXGLTW
「你這樣子的個性,難怪沒有人喜歡你。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAbcIcZrD6A4
「滾啦!」82Please respect copyright.PENANARwBxaISnsS
「去死啦!」82Please respect copyright.PENANAyuNzNtmuar
「快點消失啦!」82Please respect copyright.PENANAr16jAZsapo
「消失!」82Please respect copyright.PENANAXHpWpI3w6Z
「消失!」82Please respect copyright.PENANA56pUVYeeMJ
「消失!」82Please respect copyright.PENANAZku9iRz4Eb
腦中的聲音,如同電視的雜訊一樣,想關掉卻好像哪裡壞掉了,怎麼關都關不掉。82Please respect copyright.PENANAzLJF1vOq1u
不要再想了。82Please respect copyright.PENANAv40Sr6bDaa
不要再想了。82Please respect copyright.PENANABJikkhP52x
不可以再想。82Please respect copyright.PENANAk134G3LeJy
不可以。82Please respect copyright.PENANArUZIjgJYi1
快停止。82Please respect copyright.PENANAIr2CUaRvq3
你做得到的藍奇馭。82Please respect copyright.PENANAPjMLXjwrBi
你可以的,就像之前一樣。82Please respect copyright.PENANAHI1Fs9PpfC
突然間,一個巨大的聲音浮現,震耳欲聾。82Please respect copyright.PENANAakb5FXjTtn
「快去拿刀子!」82Please respect copyright.PENANAeGS7Avv64Y
我不疑有他的抓起放在書桌前的刀子,重重的在滿是疤痕上的手上不停的劃。82Please respect copyright.PENANAuRWmQofsqQ
就像以前一樣。82Please respect copyright.PENANAOts9vMp1fN
這樣做最可以讓我放鬆,淨空自己。82Please respect copyright.PENANAPSIinYYQ5Z
真是舒服。82Please respect copyright.PENANAGeOx9NUlXM
不知道劃了多久,因為心裡輕鬆了不少,睡意突然就侵襲了過來。82Please respect copyright.PENANAn5IKG08fmc
我一頭趴在桌上,看著手臂上不停流淌的血,發自內心的笑了。82Please respect copyright.PENANAqViAyyCFrO
不知道是時隔多久,真正的感到開心的笑。82Please respect copyright.PENANAzBtQbPW1k3
82Please respect copyright.PENANAm6ufSit4eN
#82Please respect copyright.PENANAHWB29VwBhx
82Please respect copyright.PENANA7yo1RkC9OA
「叮咚。」82Please respect copyright.PENANARdPM6KYS9F
門鈴聲把我從睡夢中吵醒。82Please respect copyright.PENANAURD0n6FOXw
大概是鄰居?或是房東?一般只有這兩個選項,不會有其他人。82Please respect copyright.PENANAtUMIC1ObVo
我走到門口,準備轉開門把前將左手完全藏在背後,並只開啟一個小縫。82Please respect copyright.PENANAK0lGjuj3in
然而打開門後我後悔了。82Please respect copyright.PENANAUgbqvPoLmP
「妳為什麼...會在這裡。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAnZkCnhhOIU
我看著不該出現在這裡的段亞音問道。82Please respect copyright.PENANAR55ojjU5aA
「不是你要我過來的嗎?」她歪頭。82Please respect copyright.PENANA2gzW3mP4yV
在我還在困惑時,她用力的將門給推開。82Please respect copyright.PENANAyJKMNrYAct
完了。82Please respect copyright.PENANAOKSZ6bmkIl
由於房間很小,她馬上就注意到書桌上乾掉的血跡。82Please respect copyright.PENANAUwGWjAwzwr
看得出來她不斷的壓抑著自己吃驚的模樣,想要故做鎮定。82Please respect copyright.PENANASRjnj0z8nI
沒有想到的是,她直接轉身抓出我藏在背後的手。82Please respect copyright.PENANAnFFQMcbhVB
這一切都發生的太突然,我來不及清理桌子以及我的傷口。82Please respect copyright.PENANA4zCAF8Tyx3
還有編造謊言。82Please respect copyright.PENANAMUqdbnPFLN
「來晚了嗎?」她嘀咕著。82Please respect copyright.PENANAktUpsgzpGt
「我...我沒有...叫妳過來。」這是我現在唯一想到能說的話。82Please respect copyright.PENANA80d5BAj2nG
「你自己打開手機看吧。這不重要,你...到底發生什麼事了。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAcKpczU6zO9
「...我沒...」82Please respect copyright.PENANAmynDCf6UoL
「我不要聽到『我沒事』這三個字!」她音量提高了數倍,大聲的吼著,「你以為我不知道嗎?明明天氣熱的要死,你卻每天都穿著外套,輕輕碰到就彷彿要你的命一樣,我是希望你可以自己說出來,但每次你都只會在身邊築牆!」82Please respect copyright.PENANA7lmoVuTYmB
「再問你一次,你怎麼了,為什麼要傷害自己?」她這次語氣溫和了不少,但壓迫感依舊。82Please respect copyright.PENANAJdjGqcocdd
我怎麼了?這問題在我腦中播放了無數次,這是課本裡沒有,考試也不會考的東西。82Please respect copyright.PENANAGqIeGSVu78
我找不到答案。82Please respect copyright.PENANAisHbL2XYFU
大概就只是抗壓性太低,為此我努力萬分,不開心的事情都靠自己消化掉,再不行就用利器解決,真的真的再不行,我就淡出這個世界。82Please respect copyright.PENANAsFQYmsBw8t
你看,不都這樣過來了嗎?甚至在成績沒有掉的情況下。82Please respect copyright.PENANAdrE6R7UpI7
我好厲害,值得誇耀,所以真的沒有事喔。82Please respect copyright.PENANAoBogPLOF5B
與正向的內心相反的是,我的淚珠不停的在打轉,且即將奪眶而出。82Please respect copyright.PENANAjLIvjvOxeH
不可以,停下來。82Please respect copyright.PENANAeBZF6xCESn
藍奇馭,停下來!82Please respect copyright.PENANAiXHULu8bQn
喉嚨好緊,太陽穴好痛,這種憋著的感覺真的很難受,但我也只有這個選項。82Please respect copyright.PENANAOUis1tJArP
因為段亞音還在我的面前。82Please respect copyright.PENANA2dlQpzdZwW
此時,段亞音雙手扶著我的臉命令道,「不要憋住,哭出來。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAKoIDvJTMYz
聽到這句話後,即使我還想忍,眼淚率先撲簌簌的流了下來。82Please respect copyright.PENANAS1nl04bw2u
好醜陋。82Please respect copyright.PENANA66HYHvMleQ
「對就是這樣,你做得很好。」她用手指輕輕擦拭我臉上的淚水,看著我微笑,「你這樣很可愛喔。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAfXptOv1pYo
儘管我內心極力想要吐嘈,這樣怎麼可能可愛?但依舊被她的微笑給牽動,嘴角也不自覺勾起。82Please respect copyright.PENANAdNETHnniu3
82Please respect copyright.PENANAnbkbhqEEX5
我坐在地板上,雙手抱住雙腿,頭埋在手臂裡。82Please respect copyright.PENANAiORiSsitIo
等待眼淚被我哭乾後,抬起頭來便與段亞音對眼。82Please respect copyright.PENANAC1v80XJf6h
「好多了嗎?走,去醫院。」她俯身下來想拉我。82Please respect copyright.PENANAs7MSDNx2VW
「為什麼要去?」82Please respect copyright.PENANA7Qk8bXZXqt
聽見我的回答後,她默默的抓了我滿是傷痕的左手,「難道還需要解釋?」82Please respect copyright.PENANAFcPniazmRw
經她這麼一說,才注意到有幾道傷口深到在對我開口笑,下意識的想用右手對它捏了捏,卻馬上被阻止。82Please respect copyright.PENANAIRNHDtBQ39
「你想做什麼,還不快起身?」82Please respect copyright.PENANAi8Qz4udqfX
我緩緩站起身子,低頭一看,發現衣服,地板以及手臂周圍全都沾滿了血跡。82Please respect copyright.PENANAYqzfVDNTwD
有得清了。82Please respect copyright.PENANAm2vHw2HdXk
哪次不是這樣呢?82Please respect copyright.PENANA2XeIA2H1jZ
82Please respect copyright.PENANAaXqY8Zfybq
#82Please respect copyright.PENANAldWsgcFovQ
82Please respect copyright.PENANAJNQPBGRwup
去了醫院後會怎麼樣。82Please respect copyright.PENANA8q7AkC1zcn
不能被理解吧。82Please respect copyright.PENANAFFGybJJOwH
如果說這些傷是不小心劃到的,醫生會相信嗎?82Please respect copyright.PENANAFfVfbE1mCe
我會被怎麼樣對待?82Please respect copyright.PENANA6Sjj2VsH3E
段亞音從在我家就一路牽著我的手,到現在坐在醫院候診區也一樣。82Please respect copyright.PENANAe4Ww8rU06L
真不想放開。82Please respect copyright.PENANA6YrRCwh3VS
隨著我的名字離進診間的時間越來越靠近,心情也變得更加緊張。82Please respect copyright.PENANAoHE8YY3ytV
轉頭看向段亞音,發現她盯著螢幕上不發一語。82Please respect copyright.PENANAPuYLoO05d8
她在想什麼呢?82Please respect copyright.PENANA9IExVlY6TK
嫌棄我嗎?覺得我是個麻煩的人嗎?82Please respect copyright.PENANAwBjr05XYTD
螢幕上,我的名字顯示到了最上面,護士也隨之開門。82Please respect copyright.PENANAiXuYLEHrfw
到我了。82Please respect copyright.PENANAxphMsP3QDj
「走吧。」她像是帶著小孩一樣,拉著我站起來後往前走。82Please respect copyright.PENANAXGMXRDkYM0
明明她的身形與我差不多,在我眼裡卻像是放大了好幾倍,可靠到好想一頭栽進去。82Please respect copyright.PENANAogSbEzIFNV
「這個要縫針餒,為了懲罰你,我不讓你打麻醉。總不可能敢自殘不敢被縫針吧。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAo98DoSbuWc
心臟漏了一大拍。82Please respect copyright.PENANAtGLDoaGvoT
或許我這種人見多了,一看就知道這些傷口是怎麼來的,甚至連對應方法都想好了。82Please respect copyright.PENANAWhjg9dfasi
盡管懲罰我吧。82Please respect copyright.PENANA3qcc655dZV
肩上突然多了一點重量,回頭後發現段亞音將雙手放在我的肩上,她靠過來我的耳邊輕聲道,「你會怕嗎?」82Please respect copyright.PENANAVuNFtSfwLd
我看著即將被大針縫合的傷口,心中毫無波瀾。82Please respect copyright.PENANAZAx5Z2ci8V
就只有在針與我的肌膚接觸時,眉毛輕輕抽動了一下。82Please respect copyright.PENANA0ozBRgzejA
縫針很快就結束了,醫生看著我,語氣稱不上是友善,「你這個要轉去精神科,但你還未成年,需要你的家長同意。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAg9n0Z1Hdo9
「我...」我沒有家人。82Please respect copyright.PENANA5l9PJf8A4U
「或是聯絡學校的老師。」他嘆了一口氣接著說,「同學,我不知道你遇到什麼問題,可以的話請務必要去精神科一趟,那裡的醫生會幫你的,只不過你要請你的監護人陪同,這邊開給你轉診單,回去再跟家長談談看吧。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAHbajQRjdTw
為什麼所有事情都一定要扯到家長,這是我一直以來的疑惑。82Please respect copyright.PENANAABHbJUYsAc
我們就這樣離開了診間,也許是看我提到家長時面有難色,醫生並沒有強制現在就要聯絡到並且直接轉診。82Please respect copyright.PENANA3i77hwoqkN
這樣不錯。82Please respect copyright.PENANAzYXUxfLybP
我可不想去精神科。82Please respect copyright.PENANA605N71hhlm
像我母親一樣,去了也沒有變好,我去做什麼。82Please respect copyright.PENANAaAmF9FcxGv
何況我沒有任何問題。82Please respect copyright.PENANAXToMGfsdwl
82Please respect copyright.PENANAF9gHTEWNM5
「藍,剛剛醫生說的話,你打算怎麼做?」離開醫院後,段亞音第一句話不是別的,而是問我這個問題。82Please respect copyright.PENANAXq9f8otYJt
「我不想去。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAM9jlAuWsij
她沉默。82Please respect copyright.PENANAh7OnleJiwl
話最多的段亞音,從剛剛開始就不怎麼說話,使我有點不習慣。82Please respect copyright.PENANAdvmnmmpmG4
害怕她是不是開始想要嫌棄我了。82Please respect copyright.PENANAImFWrqGTn0
過了大概有一兩分鐘,這時她握住我的手的力道加重了一點點。82Please respect copyright.PENANAqfYy8D2yWk
「不,你一定要去。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAewFVwU8dQx
這句話重重擊在我身上。82Please respect copyright.PENANAqSNXAXdeod
難道她認為我有問題嗎?82Please respect copyright.PENANATzBHnjYaLr
至今為止,我一直都在讓自己看起來是個完全的正常人,卻還是不斷的被說我很奇怪。82Please respect copyright.PENANAnNaMIaJaVP
到底哪裡奇怪了。82Please respect copyright.PENANA4YLpUS5DQE
傷口也都用外套遮起來了。82Please respect copyright.PENANAbB8AaWo9Qd
雖然還是一樣無法進入人群,但我已經做得很好了吧。82Please respect copyright.PENANAD0vUTlOvl9
正常是什麼。82Please respect copyright.PENANAj8stl50Xsd
我不正常嗎?82Please respect copyright.PENANAMIn7NnfJEB
「妳...為什麼覺得我一定要去。」我看向他。82Please respect copyright.PENANAoAG94DHhwU
聞言,她顯得有些不知所措,「我...我沒有任何意思,但就是認為你必須去一趟。」她的慌張消失了大半,像是為自己找到好理由,「不是去了就代表你有問題,絕對不是,但是去之後,勢必會有所不同,你不想試試嗎?每天都像在地獄一樣,去了如果可以改變呢?」82Please respect copyright.PENANAYIk7bHxolO
「如果不能改變呢?」我反問。82Please respect copyright.PENANADGsfa1D0C6
「為什麼要往最壞的方向想?藍奇馭,我希望你可以至少去一次,至於家長的部分,我可以請我父母幫忙。」82Please respect copyright.PENANA8O3RItWkaw
看著街上的景象,離我家越來越近了。82Please respect copyright.PENANAepVWLVsxD1
我放開她牽住的手,回應她,「請妳父母來幫忙更不可能解決任何事了吧,我先回家了,再見。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAtlj8Ers2za
在我與她的手徹底分開後,她又再次握住。82Please respect copyright.PENANAyZOaf7b5D0
「明天...請你一定去學校。」82Please respect copyright.PENANAPA3PBDW2PU
我再次撥掉她的手,背對著她走上樓。82Please respect copyright.PENANA65y91eTCU7
一次回頭也沒有。82Please respect copyright.PENANA7dOvzijlnm
內心有著及大的矛盾。82Please respect copyright.PENANAXuMpObp8IY
用著我那不擅觀察的眼睛看到的是可以相信的段亞音,同時我卻又強烈的抗拒著她。82Please respect copyright.PENANAKmzFcIVihy
或許,她是真的可以幫助我。82Please respect copyright.PENANAPeGTgT6xgt
但不是現在。82Please respect copyright.PENANAflRPc52zrX
82Please respect copyright.PENANAJ8k7AOWvMB
#82Please respect copyright.PENANAc96cMStYbt
82Please respect copyright.PENANAsMhiGIvdUM
段亞音與藍奇馭聊天室:82Please respect copyright.PENANAlA5QmQJm4v
藍奇馭(藍)、段亞音(音音)82Please respect copyright.PENANAYDovV0XrMf
藍:可以來我家嗎?82Please respect copyright.PENANAUnjJLPUVVe
音音:怎麼了?82Please respect copyright.PENANAkkIziGtFNO
arrow_back
藍色海溝
more_vert
-
info_outline Info
-
toc Table of Contents
-
share Share
-
format_color_text Display Settings
-
exposure_plus_1 Recommend
-
Sponsor
-
report_problem Report
-
account_circle Login
Search stories, writers or societies
Continue ReadingClear All
What Others Are ReadingRefresh
X
Never miss what's happening on Penana!
藍色海溝
Author:
伊倞
ISSUE #4
第三章
LIKES 0
READS 78
BOOKMARKS 0
campaign
Request update 0
Sponsor
Suggest Edits
Login with Facebook
or Sign up/Login to comment or bookmark! Click to load the next chapter
X
After each update request, the author will receive a notification!
smartphone100
→ Request update
X
Sponsor again
Click to login
Login first to show your name as a sponsor.
Thank you for supporting the story! :)
Please Login first.
×
Write down what you like about the story
×
Reading Theme:
Font Size:
Line Spacing:
Paragraph Spacing:
Load the next issue automatically
Reset to default
×
People Who Like This
x
Before You Publish
Please ensure your story does not contain illegal, hateful, inciting, or violence-promoting content, or any infringing, plagiarized, or spam material, and that it complies with Penana’s Terms of Use.
Penana reserves the right to remove any content that violates these rules or causes legal or community risk, and to suspend or terminate related accounts.

