觸不到的戀人 - 12

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二零一一年，十一月。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgajYf0mwK
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天空一直處於陰暗狀態，大概是已經進入冬天的緣故，所以太陽出現的次數也少得可憐。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4InHPMuMjV
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寒冷的冬天。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmTr5Gl0bD
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班上的每個人都穿的很厚重，甚至圍上了圍巾，看來這次寒流來襲真讓每個人都冷的受不了。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTycEaBqqb
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我也不例外。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKg7ALFZLW
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轉眼間已經進入高二，這一年我是怎麼過去的？270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgP2NSMrGOU
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原以為會和班上的女生處的不好，但卻意外的合得來，尤其是和那個滿臉雀斑的女生。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt38yQfs1iq
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本來陰沉的個性在和她們相處後變得比較開放了。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63zs6sFStN
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這算好事嗎？我不清楚。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oCuUQC1uO
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只覺得能維持好現狀就好了。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPBV6wgDj0
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「橋橋，妳不進來嗎？外面很冷的說。」身後的窗戶被打開，一個女生探頭出來對我說。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5ohOGRIIK
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我搖頭，然後對她笑了笑，並把窗戶關上。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiTRUXwlJI
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下課後只要我是醒著，就會站在教室後門外，就算很冷，也想站在這裡。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6YlVQAeFc
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沒有原因的。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpDCi3pV0G
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以前做事總是需要原因、理由，但時間久了，才發現這些都是多餘的。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYOLyMUzWQ
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太多事情不需要理由。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2tIOHiNT8
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包括感情。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwbfwPFAXb
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吹風吹得夠久了，上課鐘也差不多該響了。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6SuFaLYCO
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在我準備打開教室後門時，耳邊的音樂停止了。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoi92Y3SLg
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我伸手觸摸戴在耳上的耳機，然後疑惑。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVwpgXBjby
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手機在震動。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBG4gMPdEP8
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我連看都不看直接把手伸進口袋裡，按下接聽。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XP5rdluLj
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耳機沒有傳來任何聲音，我喂了好幾聲，對方依舊沉默。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShGE1zf6FW
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會不會對方早就把電話掛掉了？但掛掉的話音樂會繼續撥放才是。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3w9iSjmU6a
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沉默、熟悉的沉默，這種感覺……270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIVWtePPNm
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我緩緩的把手機從口袋裡拿出來，看了來電者，終於明白這沉默的電話為何不會讓我想掛電話。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JSRRoZ6qz
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早已習慣的沉默。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmg4ZBNK8F5
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他為什麼會打來？為什麼是挑今天、這種時候？270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KYmrm4KxR
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「楊瑀峰，你在不講話我要掛電話了。」上課鐘在我講完這句話後隨即敲響。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29d7wpMaJR
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雖然這節是自習，但我並不想在教室裡講電話，而且是和前男友。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYNCCTCGwE
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不曾承認過的前男友。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuh1F9mQxb
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「……妳最近過得好嗎？」耳機終於有了些聲音、他的聲音。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncTdqpqe59
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一年了，久久未聽到過的聲音。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NfzARGnJZ
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依舊冷漠，卻好像多了幾份感情。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfHSAEwyIS
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是我的錯覺吧？270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7O7zv5P94z
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「我很好。」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFE8h5dXvjc
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我以為我會說「在和你分手後的每一天我都過得非常好」，都我沒有，反而平靜的回答說我很好。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEefwanisK1
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不想用那種諷刺的語氣，一年了，我那無理取鬧的個性不該再存在。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKZAShZMDV
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他沒再講下去，我們又陷入了沉默。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXe9xCcKGPm
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他還是一樣不多話、一樣冷漠，完全沒有改變。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkKYZUseloS
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走廊上的人群越來越少，我應該要進教室的，卻因為這通電話不得不止步於此。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87PCW041pG
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「我還在等妳。」他說。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1Cch4ytSu
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「當初那麼乾脆的把我甩開，現在又說你在等我？你在跟我開玩笑嗎？」我掩蓋不住語氣中的怒火，我感覺到氣氛開始變差，我和他。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR1NVnAYthU
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「我們之間能不能不要只有爭吵？」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lbN9BwL9i
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這話讓我愣了一下。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTrMQdD9ya
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我們？現在會用「我們」這個詞了？270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOf5ETWGS7
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我強忍住那想哭的情緒，深呼吸、吐氣。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN4nJrx43kQ
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「我不知道你今天打給我到底要幹麻，如果只是問我近況，那我可以大聲的告訴你我過得很好，你不用擔心，我們分手已經一年多了，你還想知道我的狀況幹麻？如果你是在我們還在一起的時候說剛剛句話，我們可能就不會變成這樣，是你不說、是你不肯表達自己，我知道我自己也有問題，那你就沒有嗎？你說你在等我，那又怎樣？你不改變你這樣的個性，我們還是會有爭執你懂嗎？好了，我要去上課了。」語畢，我打開教室後門走進去，電話沒有按下掛斷鍵。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrqqgUViSw
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我以為他會結束通話。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWap9tRGll
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「葉星橋。」耳機傳來他喊我名字的聲音。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxBkFNe2Eq
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我回到座位，然後坐下。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7kIzver2C
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「我改，妳等我，好好照顧自己。」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8LwPmyIQX
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在他講完沒多久，耳機傳入耳中的聲音不再是沉默，而是音樂。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJvMIFcFQI
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通話結束了，他掛斷了。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRy9L7GCzF
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改變？為我……改變嗎？270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNG7lYtyFX
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我趴在桌上，臉埋進雙臂裡，睡覺。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupWAis0Jjb
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只有睡覺、我才不會胡思亂想、不會期待。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bB7uIR0Mm
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我沒想到這是我最後一次聽到瑀的聲音。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zh2xrFzgp
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二零一三年，七月。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtHWG7UMJx
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車窗外的景色一直在改變，音樂也是。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8FhdIRBJU
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車上除了音樂聲外還有小迪唱歌的聲音，我和阿龍一直都保持安靜。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeMbS3BkbB
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其實小迪心裡也很不平靜吧？所以才唱歌。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEZ9XU4uL0
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我和阿龍呢？我們也只是表面看起來沒事、心裡亂的很。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvwBDABNjH
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看著車窗外，我試著回想你的聲音、你的模樣，卻已模糊。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7wJJ0Id3n
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想不起來。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVg02TWMU3Z
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車開上了山，這山路一直在繞圈圈，繞的我頭好暈好想吐。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHWdJ00WNp
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等到不再繞圈時，已經到達目的地了。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVX9WViuiZ
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山頂。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaex3PMstwQ
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阿龍把車停好，並解開安全帶，回頭示意我可以下車了。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsoqynV4jIN
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小迪比我快一步開車門，我跟在他後面下車。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdL3WSCRyN
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「終於下車了，頭好暈啊！」小迪挺直身體，伸了個懶腰。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP86pBUnKiX
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阿龍對小迪嘆了口大氣，然後打開後車廂，拿了一袋水果出來，小迪馬上搶過手，比我們兩個先走一步。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJOi9N0nb2
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「那傢伙是在急什麼啊？」阿龍搔搔頭，看著小迪離去的背影。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjShbUxwinL
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我聳肩，然後望著眼前那巨大狀況的建築物，你──就在裡面。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEgcUAz5yz
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「為什麼突然想面對了？」阿龍轉過頭問我。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVY6ATP4D58
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沉默。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0siKdlzHz
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「當初那麼固執不肯接受，怎麼現在完全不一樣了？」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LM7UgIuYM
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「那一年發生太多事情了，也看開了。」我邊說邊踏出腳步，朝那棟建築物走去。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFSukL2fMh
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總得親自經歷過某些事才會長大，對吧？270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvadr9NBUo
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進入大門後，那些我不懂的麻煩事就由阿龍和小迪去處理，我則是站在電梯門口等著。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ13bM7NrIo
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這裡裝潢的很簡單、但是那種不會看膩的簡單。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEIQH90Iss
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而且，很安靜。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZyCmET4nu6
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你喜歡這裡嗎？270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34OfZ7BsPa
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「橋橋，上樓囉！」眼前出現了一張卡片左右移動著，小迪正拿著電梯感應卡一副準備好的樣子站在我旁邊，而阿龍在他身後。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqqBBwMyV0i
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按了電梯，等電梯開門，我們三個一起走進去，小迪按了五樓，然後用感應卡啟動它。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKOvelbmN9
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電梯一層樓一層樓的上去，我突然覺得喘、覺得不自在。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUm9wNEXUo
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五樓到了，很快。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIofbP9OQ7
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電梯門一開，先看見的是一座佛像，然後周圍的走廊有幾個人在走動，走廊直到盡頭的左右都有條路可以進去。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQ3srQIjO5
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很多個房間。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhHjCIYr5f
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我停在佛像前面，凝望。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyOqApSMTq
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「怎麼了？」小迪拍了我一下，一臉擔心的問。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQDdw2ZB0j
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「我在想，他真的想見到我嗎？」我雖然是問小迪，但視線一直沒有離開佛像過。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3A6dy8X7ks
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這個問題雖然在來之前，他們已經跟我確定過了，但我還是想問。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFUVPluzYW
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問佛、問你。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbAvZ7Dl6N
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTDGV0G96v
你想見到我嗎？那麼殘忍的傷害你的我？270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSUBMR1eoR
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMmAmQiF2a
「只有妳，才是阿楊最想見到的人。」阿龍回答。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtD2RX7N8EF
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7t50OQRQCs
我知道。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOHUj3xDyY
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsG9Syl9GZd
我在心裡告訴自己，我知道他一直想見到我，只是我的懦弱讓我一直選擇逃避。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡee9FG2h7IC
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYhFGhNNqg
小迪勾住我的手，朝著他所在的地方前進。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCeuZN2OCU
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcrJNXoFAE
不知道經過了多少房間，小迪才帶著我轉彎，走進一個房間裡。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2pzQz2ltp
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGryULLO5p3
這房間其實很大，很多櫃子，裡面，有很多人的──270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdIGR21OnW
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhWym6Ff6W
骨灰。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNDXWKocU7
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQwb2ZyX0a
走到靠近窗邊的位子，小迪放開我的手，然後淺笑。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRgrNEkRAE
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85Jffxj6po
悲傷的微笑。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyDgTbFtvN
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhVjfABZkA
「這位子是我們、阿傑、殷一起出錢買下來的，很適合阿楊，我覺得很適合。」阿龍像是在對我說、又像是在自言自語。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBT3KKjcfZ
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdS0tTVJfaZ
「阿楊，我們來看你囉！這次我們終於把橋橋帶來了。」小迪邊說邊打開那扇門。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1VJsktSl3
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYN4GqFJ5AA
有你在的那扇門。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFaAUMnBqMm
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxqDMe7fbO
有時候我常常在想，人死後被擺進這麼小的一個空間裡，不會寂寞嗎？270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcivIltOVH
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSG5bX8Onl
一直以來都很孤僻的你，會寂寞嗎？270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4BK4S66vY
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHi85XbgVg1
小迪和你說了好多好多的話，說到眼眶濕了聲音哽咽了也還是繼續說下去，而阿龍則是靜靜著聽小迪和你說話。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtTAXsf38yJ
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmRa3LrI7T
小迪說了什麼？我聽不清楚，我一直處於失神狀態，直到阿龍叫了我。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMM3cYqfVbI
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkWGSIT9A5
「我們先去電梯口那邊，等等在過來，妳和阿楊好好說說話吧？」阿龍拉著好像快哭的小迪，離開了這裡。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7l2JU9KO74
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFxkz5kC9G
我愣在原地許久，才走上前，然後面向你、看著你。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOcQWi3kLM
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizoXZueR8Q
照片中的你和記憶中模糊的你終於重疊，我想起你的模樣，那冷漠不帶任何表情的帥氣臉龐。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2vUDebegd
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDYiFKWe1S
笑起來令我深深著迷的臉。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7p043zNa4a
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEGH9buDe8
不知道花了多久的時間，我才讓聲音從嘴巴裡發出來，對你、對這沒有任何人的房間。270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1i0N3kG9Zx
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6soS3IAuf
「好久不見。」270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmtnbdIE66
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uLSR47ok1
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtLUBGBCln
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6jqc2zvfJ
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCeiIH8bYX
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ih6mx5Nke
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZs9isBNYC
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmbIx07E0E
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYG4hSCseA
270Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtbXWow4Oc
我們已處於不同世界，而你存在的地方，是我無法觸及到的。ns216.73.216.85da2

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