觸不到的戀人 - 12

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二零一一年，十一月。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSg3V3MAv2
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天空一直處於陰暗狀態，大概是已經進入冬天的緣故，所以太陽出現的次數也少得可憐。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHbWyclwqb
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寒冷的冬天。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcs57RsfK4G
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班上的每個人都穿的很厚重，甚至圍上了圍巾，看來這次寒流來襲真讓每個人都冷的受不了。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6TOp383hs
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我也不例外。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRfWjt4bYV
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轉眼間已經進入高二，這一年我是怎麼過去的？240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4QQEwqvBr
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原以為會和班上的女生處的不好，但卻意外的合得來，尤其是和那個滿臉雀斑的女生。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkF7X0iGn7
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本來陰沉的個性在和她們相處後變得比較開放了。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5JRstrRqw
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這算好事嗎？我不清楚。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSf0zzmU3F
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只覺得能維持好現狀就好了。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Dy8sFmcdD
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「橋橋，妳不進來嗎？外面很冷的說。」身後的窗戶被打開，一個女生探頭出來對我說。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljMP335a2W
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我搖頭，然後對她笑了笑，並把窗戶關上。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmKoJrweXS
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下課後只要我是醒著，就會站在教室後門外，就算很冷，也想站在這裡。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEBMQnjNyN
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沒有原因的。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCAkHTZ9j1
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以前做事總是需要原因、理由，但時間久了，才發現這些都是多餘的。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQyG2kEGwp
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太多事情不需要理由。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttj94VPe02
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包括感情。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SvIvgzeL2
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吹風吹得夠久了，上課鐘也差不多該響了。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCneglWbqHP
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在我準備打開教室後門時，耳邊的音樂停止了。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCsVcRlxoQ
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我伸手觸摸戴在耳上的耳機，然後疑惑。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHD24zJtoZp
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手機在震動。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BLeYvyEXG
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我連看都不看直接把手伸進口袋裡，按下接聽。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mfkVNY5T8
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耳機沒有傳來任何聲音，我喂了好幾聲，對方依舊沉默。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDob7kiS7zQ
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會不會對方早就把電話掛掉了？但掛掉的話音樂會繼續撥放才是。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbloyXNuCI
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沉默、熟悉的沉默，這種感覺……240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdHMN2HBiVy
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我緩緩的把手機從口袋裡拿出來，看了來電者，終於明白這沉默的電話為何不會讓我想掛電話。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiH6qPjqioh
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早已習慣的沉默。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujMHdUUavu
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他為什麼會打來？為什麼是挑今天、這種時候？240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3A5DEI8BOO
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「楊瑀峰，你在不講話我要掛電話了。」上課鐘在我講完這句話後隨即敲響。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5I6jcDPUL
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雖然這節是自習，但我並不想在教室裡講電話，而且是和前男友。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MJf0usV16
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不曾承認過的前男友。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsSvwCc9xu
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「……妳最近過得好嗎？」耳機終於有了些聲音、他的聲音。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyzeU6L8Rt
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一年了，久久未聽到過的聲音。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLktxv7Raz8
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依舊冷漠，卻好像多了幾份感情。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiZhCmU9ys
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是我的錯覺吧？240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewRLp3DBZX
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「我很好。」240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqsifCnhJR
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我以為我會說「在和你分手後的每一天我都過得非常好」，都我沒有，反而平靜的回答說我很好。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwpVWQpUwR
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不想用那種諷刺的語氣，一年了，我那無理取鬧的個性不該再存在。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXpE4JKxoT
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他沒再講下去，我們又陷入了沉默。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2ElG9dqLX
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他還是一樣不多話、一樣冷漠，完全沒有改變。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gQjrgip7N
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走廊上的人群越來越少，我應該要進教室的，卻因為這通電話不得不止步於此。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDS5HzG1oc
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「我還在等妳。」他說。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYbB3xEv7Y
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「當初那麼乾脆的把我甩開，現在又說你在等我？你在跟我開玩笑嗎？」我掩蓋不住語氣中的怒火，我感覺到氣氛開始變差，我和他。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRDW1mcwZV
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「我們之間能不能不要只有爭吵？」240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Fd4aXIduM
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這話讓我愣了一下。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRJKMkFQPK
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我們？現在會用「我們」這個詞了？240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgycNnIgmcA
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我強忍住那想哭的情緒，深呼吸、吐氣。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgI8o7YvZM
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「我不知道你今天打給我到底要幹麻，如果只是問我近況，那我可以大聲的告訴你我過得很好，你不用擔心，我們分手已經一年多了，你還想知道我的狀況幹麻？如果你是在我們還在一起的時候說剛剛句話，我們可能就不會變成這樣，是你不說、是你不肯表達自己，我知道我自己也有問題，那你就沒有嗎？你說你在等我，那又怎樣？你不改變你這樣的個性，我們還是會有爭執你懂嗎？好了，我要去上課了。」語畢，我打開教室後門走進去，電話沒有按下掛斷鍵。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgELl8glA4j
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我以為他會結束通話。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5FbnI8WMx
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「葉星橋。」耳機傳來他喊我名字的聲音。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHod1uoD4cy
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我回到座位，然後坐下。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrQHK5ZcpL
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「我改，妳等我，好好照顧自己。」240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1gYABk9Xh
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在他講完沒多久，耳機傳入耳中的聲音不再是沉默，而是音樂。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMOHzquEaW
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通話結束了，他掛斷了。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpukiyOXQmT
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改變？為我……改變嗎？240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡApM8djPHX1
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我趴在桌上，臉埋進雙臂裡，睡覺。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGgCbPXKB7
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只有睡覺、我才不會胡思亂想、不會期待。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3Q9PDuDP5
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我沒想到這是我最後一次聽到瑀的聲音。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Ar7Q4xvQs
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二零一三年，七月。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFhbxHPgwA
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車窗外的景色一直在改變，音樂也是。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52R4vXWOII
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車上除了音樂聲外還有小迪唱歌的聲音，我和阿龍一直都保持安靜。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOluTDAEDSQ
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其實小迪心裡也很不平靜吧？所以才唱歌。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wQ5dYKAWC
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我和阿龍呢？我們也只是表面看起來沒事、心裡亂的很。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnsRcw65TX
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看著車窗外，我試著回想你的聲音、你的模樣，卻已模糊。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKTcKYqLNw
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想不起來。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbwTKW3jQU
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車開上了山，這山路一直在繞圈圈，繞的我頭好暈好想吐。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqK8cuwfMhT
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等到不再繞圈時，已經到達目的地了。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMquCzdhwK
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山頂。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02sNOIJLvH
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阿龍把車停好，並解開安全帶，回頭示意我可以下車了。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HLm5NiaNg
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小迪比我快一步開車門，我跟在他後面下車。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOS821a599
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「終於下車了，頭好暈啊！」小迪挺直身體，伸了個懶腰。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10wJ4rMJIL
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阿龍對小迪嘆了口大氣，然後打開後車廂，拿了一袋水果出來，小迪馬上搶過手，比我們兩個先走一步。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMCJ5lt20c
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「那傢伙是在急什麼啊？」阿龍搔搔頭，看著小迪離去的背影。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvwMvVEDuz
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我聳肩，然後望著眼前那巨大狀況的建築物，你──就在裡面。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEm8QnRKdus
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「為什麼突然想面對了？」阿龍轉過頭問我。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTp2JO1HlQC
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沉默。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqXI5U3R9Q
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「當初那麼固執不肯接受，怎麼現在完全不一樣了？」240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNtOY6O889
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「那一年發生太多事情了，也看開了。」我邊說邊踏出腳步，朝那棟建築物走去。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchk1zHJjfy
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總得親自經歷過某些事才會長大，對吧？240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TmuA8MxdK
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進入大門後，那些我不懂的麻煩事就由阿龍和小迪去處理，我則是站在電梯門口等著。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLlEVMlvfC
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這裡裝潢的很簡單、但是那種不會看膩的簡單。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sD7zwMbbw
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而且，很安靜。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNbRRea9zB
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你喜歡這裡嗎？240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4R7PO2g0Tp
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「橋橋，上樓囉！」眼前出現了一張卡片左右移動著，小迪正拿著電梯感應卡一副準備好的樣子站在我旁邊，而阿龍在他身後。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqy8oOGJoO
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按了電梯，等電梯開門，我們三個一起走進去，小迪按了五樓，然後用感應卡啟動它。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqv4sp7Gro
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電梯一層樓一層樓的上去，我突然覺得喘、覺得不自在。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmp500TS5xu
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五樓到了，很快。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3HLMW7x5A
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電梯門一開，先看見的是一座佛像，然後周圍的走廊有幾個人在走動，走廊直到盡頭的左右都有條路可以進去。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUFlzC25iK
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很多個房間。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmnRS0xN9s
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我停在佛像前面，凝望。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCI2qEsgvWl
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「怎麼了？」小迪拍了我一下，一臉擔心的問。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqsD3uas8a
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「我在想，他真的想見到我嗎？」我雖然是問小迪，但視線一直沒有離開佛像過。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHuYCO4QeG
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這個問題雖然在來之前，他們已經跟我確定過了，但我還是想問。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzHr7aY0pz9
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeeYKaRsYJ8
問佛、問你。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHb27OMpcK
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrMHzDuqmX
你想見到我嗎？那麼殘忍的傷害你的我？240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9mPn5aTXQ
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUOi0tFey3
「只有妳，才是阿楊最想見到的人。」阿龍回答。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZkfZDhlDY
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenumltePfK
我知道。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTo7I3PB4h
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuVvw2sjwB
我在心裡告訴自己，我知道他一直想見到我，只是我的懦弱讓我一直選擇逃避。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtw7z16Q38j
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiy1FvCjAdW
小迪勾住我的手，朝著他所在的地方前進。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCf0F5II4jD
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfyUQXF0Ndb
不知道經過了多少房間，小迪才帶著我轉彎，走進一個房間裡。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzky5YrvB8w
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVc125TKro2
這房間其實很大，很多櫃子，裡面，有很多人的──240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCCvERl9F9
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWIez6zH08
骨灰。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjdfk4uYLj
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBH5uqoMgh
走到靠近窗邊的位子，小迪放開我的手，然後淺笑。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KmqkxpYFR
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dPXKGh7M1
悲傷的微笑。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9zQMmv4gL
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtaDLnnZYZR
「這位子是我們、阿傑、殷一起出錢買下來的，很適合阿楊，我覺得很適合。」阿龍像是在對我說、又像是在自言自語。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpvv5RGqrW
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡef4cBR4U2V
「阿楊，我們來看你囉！這次我們終於把橋橋帶來了。」小迪邊說邊打開那扇門。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDPExA1a2Y
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2d11PzJs1
有你在的那扇門。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLLDGTtuCw
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1F8eY9WqKR
有時候我常常在想，人死後被擺進這麼小的一個空間裡，不會寂寞嗎？240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgGh6bFGxV
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vrnUodcJV
一直以來都很孤僻的你，會寂寞嗎？240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aaXXujwYc
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IHEv06xlX
小迪和你說了好多好多的話，說到眼眶濕了聲音哽咽了也還是繼續說下去，而阿龍則是靜靜著聽小迪和你說話。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZEshdMS6B
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfi3NHeHyC
小迪說了什麼？我聽不清楚，我一直處於失神狀態，直到阿龍叫了我。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsYxfURrwd
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrTKwG0sAu
「我們先去電梯口那邊，等等在過來，妳和阿楊好好說說話吧？」阿龍拉著好像快哭的小迪，離開了這裡。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSGo5XjLOO
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc57vY0pDAX
我愣在原地許久，才走上前，然後面向你、看著你。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24mIILoonN
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ97oP0SD5jG
照片中的你和記憶中模糊的你終於重疊，我想起你的模樣，那冷漠不帶任何表情的帥氣臉龐。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskQRwR4KrL
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBIYifrUoK
笑起來令我深深著迷的臉。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWA5QzGhh8
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMRDnSMlar
不知道花了多久的時間，我才讓聲音從嘴巴裡發出來，對你、對這沒有任何人的房間。240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviVdmJ9UiT
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSW0iN8plwM
「好久不見。」240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASZRigZm6X
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7226x4HO6y
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwxxyChvyC
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLV9K4FfQ7
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKnXNRsWW3
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7tjq5hyqr
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejeQijNjDl
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3woMlIomg
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡML6kIWtZKW
240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzfT2Lp7l0
我們已處於不同世界，而你存在的地方，是我無法觸及到的。ns18.116.51.45da2

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