觸不到的戀人 - 12

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二零一一年，十一月。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpF802L5MD
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天空一直處於陰暗狀態，大概是已經進入冬天的緣故，所以太陽出現的次數也少得可憐。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefcHiwOgAN
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寒冷的冬天。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDu34nnap2
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班上的每個人都穿的很厚重，甚至圍上了圍巾，看來這次寒流來襲真讓每個人都冷的受不了。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStGwS6Jj2r
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我也不例外。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCRvJldnLb
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轉眼間已經進入高二，這一年我是怎麼過去的？258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9o6PaDjaXN
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原以為會和班上的女生處的不好，但卻意外的合得來，尤其是和那個滿臉雀斑的女生。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vmlyMES6B
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本來陰沉的個性在和她們相處後變得比較開放了。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4x2UznaRnD
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這算好事嗎？我不清楚。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHpDaw5pG1
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只覺得能維持好現狀就好了。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegJF7jEhm3
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「橋橋，妳不進來嗎？外面很冷的說。」身後的窗戶被打開，一個女生探頭出來對我說。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmdzSIsk3h
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我搖頭，然後對她笑了笑，並把窗戶關上。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWdiOdxVl8
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下課後只要我是醒著，就會站在教室後門外，就算很冷，也想站在這裡。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsroob2q8AP
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沒有原因的。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWP7r4kx6J2
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以前做事總是需要原因、理由，但時間久了，才發現這些都是多餘的。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6KF7sU7vB
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太多事情不需要理由。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeet01Sm5C
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包括感情。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Xz8dCKlaV
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吹風吹得夠久了，上課鐘也差不多該響了。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jVDnLn7MZ
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在我準備打開教室後門時，耳邊的音樂停止了。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG91soAIbtH
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我伸手觸摸戴在耳上的耳機，然後疑惑。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoE9HMjtfGM
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手機在震動。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EryGozLId
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我連看都不看直接把手伸進口袋裡，按下接聽。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVhlEsJStU
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耳機沒有傳來任何聲音，我喂了好幾聲，對方依舊沉默。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZc1dfnW3E
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會不會對方早就把電話掛掉了？但掛掉的話音樂會繼續撥放才是。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfk1878sho
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沉默、熟悉的沉默，這種感覺……258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6fXvidist
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我緩緩的把手機從口袋裡拿出來，看了來電者，終於明白這沉默的電話為何不會讓我想掛電話。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEXDzhgAzj0
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早已習慣的沉默。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKbQvfgrNP
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他為什麼會打來？為什麼是挑今天、這種時候？258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqQN0lTent
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「楊瑀峰，你在不講話我要掛電話了。」上課鐘在我講完這句話後隨即敲響。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SdiXMipUl
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雖然這節是自習，但我並不想在教室裡講電話，而且是和前男友。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eTRbNZuin
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不曾承認過的前男友。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eyKxILd9W
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「……妳最近過得好嗎？」耳機終於有了些聲音、他的聲音。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDccQoQVPN
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一年了，久久未聽到過的聲音。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCS4b4wWd0
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依舊冷漠，卻好像多了幾份感情。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC4gwFfBjcj
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是我的錯覺吧？258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNX5UwcaCZf
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「我很好。」258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOHcxpZhPd
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1sS2G3EMt3
我以為我會說「在和你分手後的每一天我都過得非常好」，都我沒有，反而平靜的回答說我很好。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOGg0u7yFM
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不想用那種諷刺的語氣，一年了，我那無理取鬧的個性不該再存在。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwcakgt2MN
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他沒再講下去，我們又陷入了沉默。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtf1MIVDmm
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他還是一樣不多話、一樣冷漠，完全沒有改變。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQknZdkffd
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4n04qiChlG
走廊上的人群越來越少，我應該要進教室的，卻因為這通電話不得不止步於此。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNLlxQZBcE
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「我還在等妳。」他說。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4hFIuAIUu
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「當初那麼乾脆的把我甩開，現在又說你在等我？你在跟我開玩笑嗎？」我掩蓋不住語氣中的怒火，我感覺到氣氛開始變差，我和他。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EywI2Gfog
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「我們之間能不能不要只有爭吵？」258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRVN1eGqYV
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這話讓我愣了一下。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRte8pU30Ut
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我們？現在會用「我們」這個詞了？258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6fcc8rm7C
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我強忍住那想哭的情緒，深呼吸、吐氣。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0ZGSXIiSj
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「我不知道你今天打給我到底要幹麻，如果只是問我近況，那我可以大聲的告訴你我過得很好，你不用擔心，我們分手已經一年多了，你還想知道我的狀況幹麻？如果你是在我們還在一起的時候說剛剛句話，我們可能就不會變成這樣，是你不說、是你不肯表達自己，我知道我自己也有問題，那你就沒有嗎？你說你在等我，那又怎樣？你不改變你這樣的個性，我們還是會有爭執你懂嗎？好了，我要去上課了。」語畢，我打開教室後門走進去，電話沒有按下掛斷鍵。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeZp3Y5oe1
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我以為他會結束通話。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivaq68r5UQ
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「葉星橋。」耳機傳來他喊我名字的聲音。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75QsSIRfTk
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我回到座位，然後坐下。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYAMXkl4kU
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「我改，妳等我，好好照顧自己。」258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOllGcHwmj
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在他講完沒多久，耳機傳入耳中的聲音不再是沉默，而是音樂。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡerHxEcj8uE
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通話結束了，他掛斷了。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HtSZrht7i
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改變？為我……改變嗎？258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM3hfMC96wp
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我趴在桌上，臉埋進雙臂裡，睡覺。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkLLr6ZfwW
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只有睡覺、我才不會胡思亂想、不會期待。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeUulfLi1x
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我沒想到這是我最後一次聽到瑀的聲音。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSAAeoOQdB
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＊258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9itL2isKT
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二零一三年，七月。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJynnGn7jE
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車窗外的景色一直在改變，音樂也是。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qcIq0gT4q
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車上除了音樂聲外還有小迪唱歌的聲音，我和阿龍一直都保持安靜。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTwO7wMTmL
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其實小迪心裡也很不平靜吧？所以才唱歌。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibVIqxyqGu
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我和阿龍呢？我們也只是表面看起來沒事、心裡亂的很。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcX4oGFyQir
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRgJPDJLur
看著車窗外，我試著回想你的聲音、你的模樣，卻已模糊。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqJVtzUjq9
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想不起來。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMS5CBTObn
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車開上了山，這山路一直在繞圈圈，繞的我頭好暈好想吐。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBr6gHmEfyw
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等到不再繞圈時，已經到達目的地了。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5AcUUOk6V
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山頂。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWI7bfM2Nr
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阿龍把車停好，並解開安全帶，回頭示意我可以下車了。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHDvEc7QlI
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小迪比我快一步開車門，我跟在他後面下車。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQ6Xtm69ae
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「終於下車了，頭好暈啊！」小迪挺直身體，伸了個懶腰。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOqiLb10xa
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阿龍對小迪嘆了口大氣，然後打開後車廂，拿了一袋水果出來，小迪馬上搶過手，比我們兩個先走一步。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEccWy9Qdzw
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「那傢伙是在急什麼啊？」阿龍搔搔頭，看著小迪離去的背影。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPat69nAPF
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我聳肩，然後望著眼前那巨大狀況的建築物，你──就在裡面。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Cbgo7arFG
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「為什麼突然想面對了？」阿龍轉過頭問我。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstSCzd3uPL
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沉默。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogYMI8wgvk
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「當初那麼固執不肯接受，怎麼現在完全不一樣了？」258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YxosUqGpc
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm998Mrfw1Y
「那一年發生太多事情了，也看開了。」我邊說邊踏出腳步，朝那棟建築物走去。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOW5iN7ad7W
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總得親自經歷過某些事才會長大，對吧？258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51p1KlBhtG
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進入大門後，那些我不懂的麻煩事就由阿龍和小迪去處理，我則是站在電梯門口等著。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAjbSvpSlI
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這裡裝潢的很簡單、但是那種不會看膩的簡單。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9A1Ng5aKnQ
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而且，很安靜。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIEUaX30vS
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你喜歡這裡嗎？258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdkOKmxfyP
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「橋橋，上樓囉！」眼前出現了一張卡片左右移動著，小迪正拿著電梯感應卡一副準備好的樣子站在我旁邊，而阿龍在他身後。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhFYvkjGEE
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按了電梯，等電梯開門，我們三個一起走進去，小迪按了五樓，然後用感應卡啟動它。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPLgbeq7Fk
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電梯一層樓一層樓的上去，我突然覺得喘、覺得不自在。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYtzVhzF2c
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五樓到了，很快。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKVabCvtub
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電梯門一開，先看見的是一座佛像，然後周圍的走廊有幾個人在走動，走廊直到盡頭的左右都有條路可以進去。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvJwEZSCfW
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很多個房間。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XDUSvXBWQ
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我停在佛像前面，凝望。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8H9SD4Zdx
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「怎麼了？」小迪拍了我一下，一臉擔心的問。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3t518QyPT
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「我在想，他真的想見到我嗎？」我雖然是問小迪，但視線一直沒有離開佛像過。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKpjNrBqqM
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這個問題雖然在來之前，他們已經跟我確定過了，但我還是想問。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOptgeNk68
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAwhKukeH9
問佛、問你。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0FcJwRZ4A
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiD4fIuu6HZ
你想見到我嗎？那麼殘忍的傷害你的我？258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPP025DTs0m
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeVfoUD1bB
「只有妳，才是阿楊最想見到的人。」阿龍回答。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWux6Gwt39I
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtx5nnHqS0
我知道。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEXRdZ24RJ
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnjDV2xbMy
我在心裡告訴自己，我知道他一直想見到我，只是我的懦弱讓我一直選擇逃避。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6n2CuKWwWS
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPtXsoCFlq
小迪勾住我的手，朝著他所在的地方前進。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIb27oKaViS
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80rWkNTbVE
不知道經過了多少房間，小迪才帶著我轉彎，走進一個房間裡。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGxa4lU62e
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLpwxMb5LJ
這房間其實很大，很多櫃子，裡面，有很多人的──258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgIPXrC7PE
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClQU55Vr0R
骨灰。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ02uLQUZyBA
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNpYPuy7HJ
走到靠近窗邊的位子，小迪放開我的手，然後淺笑。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDzuXbehp3
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCz7jUXGv2G
悲傷的微笑。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnWBtgDsC7
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eOheVCR09
「這位子是我們、阿傑、殷一起出錢買下來的，很適合阿楊，我覺得很適合。」阿龍像是在對我說、又像是在自言自語。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu27Mpbt4OC
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiclAfyLlxD
「阿楊，我們來看你囉！這次我們終於把橋橋帶來了。」小迪邊說邊打開那扇門。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeoBWI1dfe
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUhMy8NPLW
有你在的那扇門。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mu6OR47R9
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEMGBg90BJ
有時候我常常在想，人死後被擺進這麼小的一個空間裡，不會寂寞嗎？258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cVJrezZto
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3AuoIso5u
一直以來都很孤僻的你，會寂寞嗎？258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGPaSBYL4K
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ec46akmCi
小迪和你說了好多好多的話，說到眼眶濕了聲音哽咽了也還是繼續說下去，而阿龍則是靜靜著聽小迪和你說話。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ130vAgG8c
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPqX07dvc8
小迪說了什麼？我聽不清楚，我一直處於失神狀態，直到阿龍叫了我。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvewrybx39
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXSYruwQB1
「我們先去電梯口那邊，等等在過來，妳和阿楊好好說說話吧？」阿龍拉著好像快哭的小迪，離開了這裡。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrinzzct9WW
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvifUMH4yu8
我愣在原地許久，才走上前，然後面向你、看著你。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw76UF6xND2
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqH5vY35ZT
照片中的你和記憶中模糊的你終於重疊，我想起你的模樣，那冷漠不帶任何表情的帥氣臉龐。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9nOAD4vJP
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypFKmmiCjX
笑起來令我深深著迷的臉。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgdSUnvDtS
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkEUqSNFcn
不知道花了多久的時間，我才讓聲音從嘴巴裡發出來，對你、對這沒有任何人的房間。258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQt4amuCaJ
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBfqsrvc2L
「好久不見。」258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANf4X9XdPh
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHg65rEy0F
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBq66ccBlWW
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXt33yLSxS
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYkYLf4D8i
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IQkt4h2RM
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJ39DI7OWD
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjTPtuDMKV
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgx027TAMs
258Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoggqthqy4t
我們已處於不同世界，而你存在的地方，是我無法觸及到的。ns216.73.216.224da2

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