觸不到的戀人 - 12

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二零一一年，十一月。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJd8WPAjMz
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天空一直處於陰暗狀態，大概是已經進入冬天的緣故，所以太陽出現的次數也少得可憐。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTuLx3VNOP
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寒冷的冬天。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYmwdpjeAH
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班上的每個人都穿的很厚重，甚至圍上了圍巾，看來這次寒流來襲真讓每個人都冷的受不了。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nf7esidKV
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我也不例外。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BJI57c1CP
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轉眼間已經進入高二，這一年我是怎麼過去的？253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23IcpVdskT
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原以為會和班上的女生處的不好，但卻意外的合得來，尤其是和那個滿臉雀斑的女生。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRFxxj4bY0
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本來陰沉的個性在和她們相處後變得比較開放了。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQoe81mcCee
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這算好事嗎？我不清楚。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNJ9jCT0h3
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只覺得能維持好現狀就好了。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jXdhKfwYP
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「橋橋，妳不進來嗎？外面很冷的說。」身後的窗戶被打開，一個女生探頭出來對我說。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHm6MO5unmw
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我搖頭，然後對她笑了笑，並把窗戶關上。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMq4uV7LdII
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下課後只要我是醒著，就會站在教室後門外，就算很冷，也想站在這裡。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mgIk7QkSf
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沒有原因的。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aeqH1xiW2
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以前做事總是需要原因、理由，但時間久了，才發現這些都是多餘的。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLfR7QZxxb
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太多事情不需要理由。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPoILRkchE
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包括感情。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnWIRRiojO
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吹風吹得夠久了，上課鐘也差不多該響了。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOk3OAaRUl
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在我準備打開教室後門時，耳邊的音樂停止了。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrN7V4wvQnb
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我伸手觸摸戴在耳上的耳機，然後疑惑。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OqaEpO3Wi
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手機在震動。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiI7DNatYSO
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我連看都不看直接把手伸進口袋裡，按下接聽。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3HMUAYGPd
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耳機沒有傳來任何聲音，我喂了好幾聲，對方依舊沉默。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhC8Yt1vSBM
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會不會對方早就把電話掛掉了？但掛掉的話音樂會繼續撥放才是。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYafZflKTdU
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沉默、熟悉的沉默，這種感覺……253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOMKshQiXD
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我緩緩的把手機從口袋裡拿出來，看了來電者，終於明白這沉默的電話為何不會讓我想掛電話。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcWl1dDvMG
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早已習慣的沉默。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYD4LTH6iZ
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他為什麼會打來？為什麼是挑今天、這種時候？253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPy5cAcoMR
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「楊瑀峰，你在不講話我要掛電話了。」上課鐘在我講完這句話後隨即敲響。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMXnfcKOm3
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雖然這節是自習，但我並不想在教室裡講電話，而且是和前男友。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuZfEVR8bv
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不曾承認過的前男友。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMDKC0t5ah
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「……妳最近過得好嗎？」耳機終於有了些聲音、他的聲音。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxdbOzBzAn
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一年了，久久未聽到過的聲音。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Ur5dEaUq3
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依舊冷漠，卻好像多了幾份感情。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4B2wlk6DmA
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是我的錯覺吧？253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYZO3A4s0v
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「我很好。」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSY3q84UScb
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我以為我會說「在和你分手後的每一天我都過得非常好」，都我沒有，反而平靜的回答說我很好。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rNSoSADlV
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不想用那種諷刺的語氣，一年了，我那無理取鬧的個性不該再存在。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6lCsIdh06
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他沒再講下去，我們又陷入了沉默。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsf2SzJDwH4
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他還是一樣不多話、一樣冷漠，完全沒有改變。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5FEekLoBF
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走廊上的人群越來越少，我應該要進教室的，卻因為這通電話不得不止步於此。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Dnsk6JROT
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「我還在等妳。」他說。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEmDhxw1gP
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「當初那麼乾脆的把我甩開，現在又說你在等我？你在跟我開玩笑嗎？」我掩蓋不住語氣中的怒火，我感覺到氣氛開始變差，我和他。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6MKxcboT4
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「我們之間能不能不要只有爭吵？」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8622xctoCz
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這話讓我愣了一下。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYGpObKBCk
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我們？現在會用「我們」這個詞了？253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Fb9h3Aj4g
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我強忍住那想哭的情緒，深呼吸、吐氣。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtzqw4NE2c
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「我不知道你今天打給我到底要幹麻，如果只是問我近況，那我可以大聲的告訴你我過得很好，你不用擔心，我們分手已經一年多了，你還想知道我的狀況幹麻？如果你是在我們還在一起的時候說剛剛句話，我們可能就不會變成這樣，是你不說、是你不肯表達自己，我知道我自己也有問題，那你就沒有嗎？你說你在等我，那又怎樣？你不改變你這樣的個性，我們還是會有爭執你懂嗎？好了，我要去上課了。」語畢，我打開教室後門走進去，電話沒有按下掛斷鍵。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDHBkhigMM
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我以為他會結束通話。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9NC8Nenjs
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「葉星橋。」耳機傳來他喊我名字的聲音。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGLJDmpQbf
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我回到座位，然後坐下。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3DvOQlt1k
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「我改，妳等我，好好照顧自己。」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGznYM3F7e
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在他講完沒多久，耳機傳入耳中的聲音不再是沉默，而是音樂。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrb6IkFfbx2
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通話結束了，他掛斷了。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jcNs4Ebf7
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改變？為我……改變嗎？253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Mlb2xrrs3
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我趴在桌上，臉埋進雙臂裡，睡覺。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7kIRSS5UV
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只有睡覺、我才不會胡思亂想、不會期待。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4E8mm6S3F
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我沒想到這是我最後一次聽到瑀的聲音。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngiaapNCNO
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二零一三年，七月。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5qir6gug9
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車窗外的景色一直在改變，音樂也是。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAhZapA3v8
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車上除了音樂聲外還有小迪唱歌的聲音，我和阿龍一直都保持安靜。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTX7oCvYRGh
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其實小迪心裡也很不平靜吧？所以才唱歌。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29ZpHkRM6X
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我和阿龍呢？我們也只是表面看起來沒事、心裡亂的很。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRj9gQQ78FM
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看著車窗外，我試著回想你的聲音、你的模樣，卻已模糊。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnvtPgB13P
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想不起來。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQjityy8bS
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車開上了山，這山路一直在繞圈圈，繞的我頭好暈好想吐。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhf6PVz4EIZ
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等到不再繞圈時，已經到達目的地了。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjdY1kQXTQ
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山頂。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6doKYMgU9L
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阿龍把車停好，並解開安全帶，回頭示意我可以下車了。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSWJjs8yN4
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小迪比我快一步開車門，我跟在他後面下車。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6CSIRNI6o
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「終於下車了，頭好暈啊！」小迪挺直身體，伸了個懶腰。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPP7fALZJ3y
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阿龍對小迪嘆了口大氣，然後打開後車廂，拿了一袋水果出來，小迪馬上搶過手，比我們兩個先走一步。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhdCUIaj3t
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「那傢伙是在急什麼啊？」阿龍搔搔頭，看著小迪離去的背影。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0FCoXK8W1
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我聳肩，然後望著眼前那巨大狀況的建築物，你──就在裡面。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzF3xLu0s0x
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「為什麼突然想面對了？」阿龍轉過頭問我。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvlpFcCWTg
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沉默。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKO315o8Zi3
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「當初那麼固執不肯接受，怎麼現在完全不一樣了？」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobL2UWamOo
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「那一年發生太多事情了，也看開了。」我邊說邊踏出腳步，朝那棟建築物走去。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhopEaOcUL3
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總得親自經歷過某些事才會長大，對吧？253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxjPyZdIjR
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進入大門後，那些我不懂的麻煩事就由阿龍和小迪去處理，我則是站在電梯門口等著。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSo3mV74R1z
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這裡裝潢的很簡單、但是那種不會看膩的簡單。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ePW5FWZG2
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而且，很安靜。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRTSwbObu6F
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你喜歡這裡嗎？253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTn2jY6SgYQ
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「橋橋，上樓囉！」眼前出現了一張卡片左右移動著，小迪正拿著電梯感應卡一副準備好的樣子站在我旁邊，而阿龍在他身後。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4S34G2b2Lp
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按了電梯，等電梯開門，我們三個一起走進去，小迪按了五樓，然後用感應卡啟動它。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZZRVayx3m
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電梯一層樓一層樓的上去，我突然覺得喘、覺得不自在。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfr4Hohb1qs
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五樓到了，很快。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlW205Pc68V
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電梯門一開，先看見的是一座佛像，然後周圍的走廊有幾個人在走動，走廊直到盡頭的左右都有條路可以進去。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAy6017iM29
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很多個房間。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp38WBgkNO5
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我停在佛像前面，凝望。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNymbZTBR2r
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「怎麼了？」小迪拍了我一下，一臉擔心的問。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Jkl7azegA
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「我在想，他真的想見到我嗎？」我雖然是問小迪，但視線一直沒有離開佛像過。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPLZq1U1K8
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這個問題雖然在來之前，他們已經跟我確定過了，但我還是想問。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQ1RdMHZYz
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問佛、問你。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCfpfdyxzG
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你想見到我嗎？那麼殘忍的傷害你的我？253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FGW8I0juy
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdCguLqk8a
「只有妳，才是阿楊最想見到的人。」阿龍回答。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8OxfWneDa
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我知道。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxUqvYHvpK
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我在心裡告訴自己，我知道他一直想見到我，只是我的懦弱讓我一直選擇逃避。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDZoJ4Ljzw
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gSnreI9iX
小迪勾住我的手，朝著他所在的地方前進。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82FGR5lrZq
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6iT9ngibB
不知道經過了多少房間，小迪才帶著我轉彎，走進一個房間裡。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpH7Hzrhy6c
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGneW4be35E
這房間其實很大，很多櫃子，裡面，有很多人的──253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31Cj0ehCEn
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYimcjutn9
骨灰。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEE2mAXtr1
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mZphNErlC
走到靠近窗邊的位子，小迪放開我的手，然後淺笑。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILh1H4u5j9
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悲傷的微笑。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGhtCEx95x
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「這位子是我們、阿傑、殷一起出錢買下來的，很適合阿楊，我覺得很適合。」阿龍像是在對我說、又像是在自言自語。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8crAFXdvsE
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KPQvXfBUe
「阿楊，我們來看你囉！這次我們終於把橋橋帶來了。」小迪邊說邊打開那扇門。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlz3aybNAgH
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdqrDoFNIT
有你在的那扇門。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRYC5lIu9C
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有時候我常常在想，人死後被擺進這麼小的一個空間裡，不會寂寞嗎？253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kJyB8ZwMR
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbiERdvJsAa
一直以來都很孤僻的你，會寂寞嗎？253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IsHEr7lTb
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFsGtbZ1WC
小迪和你說了好多好多的話，說到眼眶濕了聲音哽咽了也還是繼續說下去，而阿龍則是靜靜著聽小迪和你說話。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKPsWMxZzZ
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8f1EDVlk7
小迪說了什麼？我聽不清楚，我一直處於失神狀態，直到阿龍叫了我。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4sJt1eRhM
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHruqbZ3sx
「我們先去電梯口那邊，等等在過來，妳和阿楊好好說說話吧？」阿龍拉著好像快哭的小迪，離開了這裡。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBO9IWeHG7H
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4fIQJbbv5
我愣在原地許久，才走上前，然後面向你、看著你。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9odBZt16J
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhPhVEtYjn
照片中的你和記憶中模糊的你終於重疊，我想起你的模樣，那冷漠不帶任何表情的帥氣臉龐。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOURLJCetb
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpORSj3lIYY
笑起來令我深深著迷的臉。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8W16DbjGTf
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkm1b5uOSZG
不知道花了多久的時間，我才讓聲音從嘴巴裡發出來，對你、對這沒有任何人的房間。253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrovtdvDeGy
253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttts8TLeHN
「好久不見。」253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Oi3DbDW3i
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253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Nvd5DsLf8
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253Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1eo9oJi4eJ
我們已處於不同世界，而你存在的地方，是我無法觸及到的。ns216.73.216.94da2

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