觸不到的戀人 - 12

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二零一一年，十一月。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxk6TEHBnEw
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天空一直處於陰暗狀態，大概是已經進入冬天的緣故，所以太陽出現的次數也少得可憐。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUayXEkz5A
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寒冷的冬天。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11ZFnXN3QH
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班上的每個人都穿的很厚重，甚至圍上了圍巾，看來這次寒流來襲真讓每個人都冷的受不了。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9QKZCqlmN
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我也不例外。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yf5cDgEUr
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轉眼間已經進入高二，這一年我是怎麼過去的？259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlLxuTTv0D
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原以為會和班上的女生處的不好，但卻意外的合得來，尤其是和那個滿臉雀斑的女生。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp15YVx4btw
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本來陰沉的個性在和她們相處後變得比較開放了。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TUUpzSyZ5
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這算好事嗎？我不清楚。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjTaKbiB3t
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只覺得能維持好現狀就好了。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZV4YcRXLU
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「橋橋，妳不進來嗎？外面很冷的說。」身後的窗戶被打開，一個女生探頭出來對我說。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeQfyoTtgO
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我搖頭，然後對她笑了笑，並把窗戶關上。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qNb116qLq
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下課後只要我是醒著，就會站在教室後門外，就算很冷，也想站在這裡。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7tJhmK7JE
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沒有原因的。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdIHI0JFdZ
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以前做事總是需要原因、理由，但時間久了，才發現這些都是多餘的。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlzzY2Yaf5
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太多事情不需要理由。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1LiF4UHjQ
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包括感情。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLWtthljy6
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吹風吹得夠久了，上課鐘也差不多該響了。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5sKYp4iCz
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在我準備打開教室後門時，耳邊的音樂停止了。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaZlngE4zP
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我伸手觸摸戴在耳上的耳機，然後疑惑。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHL71gaQ9x
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手機在震動。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxM03SpJdU
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我連看都不看直接把手伸進口袋裡，按下接聽。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsZM9kJ7Q6
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耳機沒有傳來任何聲音，我喂了好幾聲，對方依舊沉默。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhd4zH87vs4
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會不會對方早就把電話掛掉了？但掛掉的話音樂會繼續撥放才是。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iM6XYBvvV
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沉默、熟悉的沉默，這種感覺……259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPvGYfweB5
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我緩緩的把手機從口袋裡拿出來，看了來電者，終於明白這沉默的電話為何不會讓我想掛電話。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEb0w9EfGtW
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早已習慣的沉默。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPCXelUVha
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他為什麼會打來？為什麼是挑今天、這種時候？259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4AzUDG1fAi
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「楊瑀峰，你在不講話我要掛電話了。」上課鐘在我講完這句話後隨即敲響。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBWuM8IwSa
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雖然這節是自習，但我並不想在教室裡講電話，而且是和前男友。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokHOBROD6g
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不曾承認過的前男友。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiq0HNCSX6l
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「……妳最近過得好嗎？」耳機終於有了些聲音、他的聲音。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsto7u76zb
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一年了，久久未聽到過的聲音。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHvBz8du2t
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依舊冷漠，卻好像多了幾份感情。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ521kAje21Q
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是我的錯覺吧？259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIz0mGJcmO
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「我很好。」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WQe7IT5Pc
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我以為我會說「在和你分手後的每一天我都過得非常好」，都我沒有，反而平靜的回答說我很好。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFvOzm4vxf
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不想用那種諷刺的語氣，一年了，我那無理取鬧的個性不該再存在。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWUGmcTfAR
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他沒再講下去，我們又陷入了沉默。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mIJk87SOg
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他還是一樣不多話、一樣冷漠，完全沒有改變。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGngZfxKzr
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走廊上的人群越來越少，我應該要進教室的，卻因為這通電話不得不止步於此。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbp7122PBj9
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「我還在等妳。」他說。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IC3KBWYkV
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「當初那麼乾脆的把我甩開，現在又說你在等我？你在跟我開玩笑嗎？」我掩蓋不住語氣中的怒火，我感覺到氣氛開始變差，我和他。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRpJjNMNkD
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「我們之間能不能不要只有爭吵？」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82JVqqaNyP
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這話讓我愣了一下。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIdhRPbVdM
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我們？現在會用「我們」這個詞了？259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOCcQrMDXZ
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我強忍住那想哭的情緒，深呼吸、吐氣。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfvawG0qkZ
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「我不知道你今天打給我到底要幹麻，如果只是問我近況，那我可以大聲的告訴你我過得很好，你不用擔心，我們分手已經一年多了，你還想知道我的狀況幹麻？如果你是在我們還在一起的時候說剛剛句話，我們可能就不會變成這樣，是你不說、是你不肯表達自己，我知道我自己也有問題，那你就沒有嗎？你說你在等我，那又怎樣？你不改變你這樣的個性，我們還是會有爭執你懂嗎？好了，我要去上課了。」語畢，我打開教室後門走進去，電話沒有按下掛斷鍵。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zBYG4Le4E
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我以為他會結束通話。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuN2EvMkhqp
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「葉星橋。」耳機傳來他喊我名字的聲音。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIzvNO50kn
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我回到座位，然後坐下。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsFRtAdN1N
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「我改，妳等我，好好照顧自己。」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtaxyslMR3g
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在他講完沒多久，耳機傳入耳中的聲音不再是沉默，而是音樂。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjQIgbbAf6X
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通話結束了，他掛斷了。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsrjprNOceQ
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改變？為我……改變嗎？259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjzZ3L9XRg
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我趴在桌上，臉埋進雙臂裡，睡覺。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4W48VaeNd
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只有睡覺、我才不會胡思亂想、不會期待。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsmW86I5IG
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我沒想到這是我最後一次聽到瑀的聲音。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56xdgGLGXm
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二零一三年，七月。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9HX2uhfxM
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車窗外的景色一直在改變，音樂也是。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxxuWTToZcj
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車上除了音樂聲外還有小迪唱歌的聲音，我和阿龍一直都保持安靜。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkHa4t6C6f
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其實小迪心裡也很不平靜吧？所以才唱歌。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsabKbqMvf
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我和阿龍呢？我們也只是表面看起來沒事、心裡亂的很。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9Pp3NunYW
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看著車窗外，我試著回想你的聲音、你的模樣，卻已模糊。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhyiMVnloX
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想不起來。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpcKkFWW0D
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車開上了山，這山路一直在繞圈圈，繞的我頭好暈好想吐。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHEXTDy9Yz
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等到不再繞圈時，已經到達目的地了。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQd6y2BGdF
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山頂。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVMUIqKIFd
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阿龍把車停好，並解開安全帶，回頭示意我可以下車了。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtylGoejAci
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小迪比我快一步開車門，我跟在他後面下車。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1tMdcmZwL
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「終於下車了，頭好暈啊！」小迪挺直身體，伸了個懶腰。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskaeu7oH7E
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阿龍對小迪嘆了口大氣，然後打開後車廂，拿了一袋水果出來，小迪馬上搶過手，比我們兩個先走一步。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXaUW4huLQ
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「那傢伙是在急什麼啊？」阿龍搔搔頭，看著小迪離去的背影。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pqJWPOovP
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我聳肩，然後望著眼前那巨大狀況的建築物，你──就在裡面。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFQ3GUyqbG
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「為什麼突然想面對了？」阿龍轉過頭問我。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiC9arGqYd
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沉默。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIQOxpp4OU
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「當初那麼固執不肯接受，怎麼現在完全不一樣了？」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6In79AEKgc
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「那一年發生太多事情了，也看開了。」我邊說邊踏出腳步，朝那棟建築物走去。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uVriclwp4
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總得親自經歷過某些事才會長大，對吧？259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUooPjuub5H
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進入大門後，那些我不懂的麻煩事就由阿龍和小迪去處理，我則是站在電梯門口等著。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DXQ0bu96w
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這裡裝潢的很簡單、但是那種不會看膩的簡單。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21RITv3b2P
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而且，很安靜。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8a1c7x8Jg
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你喜歡這裡嗎？259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQtCPkGEPM
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「橋橋，上樓囉！」眼前出現了一張卡片左右移動著，小迪正拿著電梯感應卡一副準備好的樣子站在我旁邊，而阿龍在他身後。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmzTPxLvZm
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按了電梯，等電梯開門，我們三個一起走進去，小迪按了五樓，然後用感應卡啟動它。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoa36DAtUY6
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電梯一層樓一層樓的上去，我突然覺得喘、覺得不自在。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzf6KVQ4lv
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五樓到了，很快。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZeXJaKrfE
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電梯門一開，先看見的是一座佛像，然後周圍的走廊有幾個人在走動，走廊直到盡頭的左右都有條路可以進去。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfKxcstSOX
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很多個房間。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixKnjmf0MB
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我停在佛像前面，凝望。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZIp4TUry0
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「怎麼了？」小迪拍了我一下，一臉擔心的問。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhSMncESkh
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「我在想，他真的想見到我嗎？」我雖然是問小迪，但視線一直沒有離開佛像過。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSBFn8bk2p
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這個問題雖然在來之前，他們已經跟我確定過了，但我還是想問。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyQCNMtrYp
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69i3a8gvkx
問佛、問你。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9ASUmH0uX
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyDne4zEmL
你想見到我嗎？那麼殘忍的傷害你的我？259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqb8wVkTaEN
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoC2tvxOM7B
「只有妳，才是阿楊最想見到的人。」阿龍回答。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBvcvfEV2T
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnWHGWZD88
我知道。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorOguuTg6a
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TgmKjr8q5
我在心裡告訴自己，我知道他一直想見到我，只是我的懦弱讓我一直選擇逃避。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJUbMueFLq
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtwdmetzez
小迪勾住我的手，朝著他所在的地方前進。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXcADxFZ8A
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmJy0WyohU
不知道經過了多少房間，小迪才帶著我轉彎，走進一個房間裡。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYOxuKQXU3
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSSDOOpRH5
這房間其實很大，很多櫃子，裡面，有很多人的──259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vbIbCiHuz
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRQeH8dl1J
骨灰。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDn1LDWFI5
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3ohCtN12z
走到靠近窗邊的位子，小迪放開我的手，然後淺笑。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbksEAIbOAd
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkuhbhM3Y4
悲傷的微笑。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZ13kDXhFq
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCqXtjaD8Y
「這位子是我們、阿傑、殷一起出錢買下來的，很適合阿楊，我覺得很適合。」阿龍像是在對我說、又像是在自言自語。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyThzRAryx3
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2miQoCkan
「阿楊，我們來看你囉！這次我們終於把橋橋帶來了。」小迪邊說邊打開那扇門。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPI5Ts10Tto
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxh7GzYCJ1v
有你在的那扇門。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOxtIB9u0C
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyP3O11fVGC
有時候我常常在想，人死後被擺進這麼小的一個空間裡，不會寂寞嗎？259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuu3tgkn375
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjkzWAcu3m
一直以來都很孤僻的你，會寂寞嗎？259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAZ7u74uTo
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMQ1cyiT4s
小迪和你說了好多好多的話，說到眼眶濕了聲音哽咽了也還是繼續說下去，而阿龍則是靜靜著聽小迪和你說話。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIISxK3Qyx7
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAz98IOcfH
小迪說了什麼？我聽不清楚，我一直處於失神狀態，直到阿龍叫了我。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLe7eo794q
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXoy3NNqX9
「我們先去電梯口那邊，等等在過來，妳和阿楊好好說說話吧？」阿龍拉著好像快哭的小迪，離開了這裡。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVk16L8J5j
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYeEczq8e7
我愣在原地許久，才走上前，然後面向你、看著你。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfi3TsuggRM
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU98MsT0HhR
照片中的你和記憶中模糊的你終於重疊，我想起你的模樣，那冷漠不帶任何表情的帥氣臉龐。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKncZmyOPOW
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QIjcGmCaV
笑起來令我深深著迷的臉。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlnWwMR4SU
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wDAz75ZuA
不知道花了多久的時間，我才讓聲音從嘴巴裡發出來，對你、對這沒有任何人的房間。259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBptDn7HOJ
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfPiA1Iggd
「好久不見。」259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgOpYa0YYU
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhi4V9KKmv
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BL9NNUx37
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMQb0fgsGi
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcGsoQk4TV
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RZhzLD5Bf
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfCBYpqrCO
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnimBPJSFX
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi84045fVy6
259Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnPr4qaLPV
我們已處於不同世界，而你存在的地方，是我無法觸及到的。ns216.73.216.224da2

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