What was Your Biggest Mistake, and What Did it Cost You? - The Cost of Always Being There

My biggest mistake was not silence.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLVFKQlQuB
It was not absence.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gEeWDOUaH
It was not cruelty.

My biggest mistake was yes.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgZLrZukph
Yes, I am here.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2qdx2kxMN9
Yes, I will listen.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtAT3w4F3m
Yes, I will help.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraI4dbXr6L
Yes, I will stay.

I was too available.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaSyOD8awK
Too open.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcFj2KsqVz
Too ready to pour myself out like water into every empty cup.

They came with stories of brokenness,341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpEfJJ3Xyh
with heavy confessions,341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JrjDLGBJP
with promises of redemption341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxIfISM57y
spoken as if tomorrow would be different.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnBOBuOCX1
And I believed them.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79GeFnMPth
I believed in their return to light341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLdP3EFq6e
more than they believed it themselves.

So I gave.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpYt9wMlMP
I gave until giving became my language.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zKLgVWwbd
I gave until giving became my name.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJOBf4Dzh0
I gave until I forgot there was a self behind the sacrifice.

I became a well that never ran dry.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRV2gxf6W6
I became a light that never dimmed.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwl0Q7BfUQP
I became a door that never closed.

But when my nights grew heavy,341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tXmJzmnCT
when my storms tore through the roof,341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgac8J6hq1Y
when my voice broke and whispered for help,341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHz5OZSbDyM
where were they?

Silence.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0YZyLnSqF
That was the answer.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXGjCdrssR
Silence louder than screams.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZXMLp7Bpt
Silence heavier than stone.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Iq3hUy7eW
Silence that told me the ones I held up341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURuyexukVj
never intended to hold me.

And still I stayed.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWa8PHd6tvT
And still I helped.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnT4SpJVzV
And still I said yes.

Availability can be a trap.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LNmEkXoyf
A gentle prison.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjYSyZXqMv
A cage made of open hands.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhZM6wWSEK
They mistook my presence for obligation.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJPR8FO6up
They mistook my kindness for weakness.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeElSbGjPOr
They mistook my loyalty for endlessness.

And so they took.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZyTuZmNdI
They took until my spirit was threadbare.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9E3YTQtZR
They took until my trust cracked open.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJ4YSTrv3A
They took until I no longer believed that people would stay341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWToAVPGuq
when the help was mine to need.

Trust does not vanish in a single moment.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BhtEHChQU
It erodes, grain by grain,341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fwWU2QXua
like cliffs crumbling beneath the waves.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphay9LhWOL
Until one day you stand barefoot at the edge341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUhDwbWUgt
and realize there is no solid ground beneath you.

Do I regret helping?341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9AQcRUu6L
No.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQBGWO1GxG
The heart that helps is never ugly.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6iSvjHoydG
The heart that gives is never wasted.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZcasD4Ist
But my mistake was believing341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1EMgr3Kh2
I had to help at the cost of myself.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtaSff0PIWR
My mistake was believing341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91IrFUtuWd
that saving others meant I would be saved.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEbSUZDYjI
My mistake was believing341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAbaLC25aC
that being available to everyone341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIlSyXc4OK
was the same as being loved by anyone.

So now I am learning.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kgdy7b6Te
Learning that boundaries are not cruelty.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPd7EN3C6AZ
Learning that locked doors are not punishment341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXy4IWLnSCe
but protection.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFMq7cL6o3
Learning that time, and trust, and presence341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jHlbDcrIR
are sacred things341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcofaRi4oj
and sacred things must be guarded.

Yes, I was too available.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKe29MWabz8
Yes, I was too willing.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilID6BqOwi
Yes, I was too open.

But now I choose.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4EjSYdIm2
I choose who sits at my table.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvn6ivGF9m
I choose who drinks from my well.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKYRNjL5x3
I choose who walks through the doorway of my heart.

Because availability without discernment341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpo2uH04SjO
is not kindness.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5hQgXrdxy
It is surrender.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfktA4io1MH
It is erasure.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEfCE5WGL7
It is abandoning myself in the name of love.

And I refuse to abandon myself again.

I will still give,341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21bbSkKHYf
but not to those who only take.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3L1Nr6Qaxb
I will still stay,341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CS5E2XsPl
but not for those who walk away when I need them near.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRbm3KqVr8
I will still love,341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FMsAndFP1
but not at the price of forgetting my own worth.

My biggest mistake was always being there.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCmhv60yPd
My greatest awakening is learning341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7Y55a0yHM
that I am allowed to choose341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91JGTPyZqV
who is there for me.

ns216.73.216.253da2

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