What was Your Biggest Mistake, and What Did it Cost You? - The Cost of Always Being There

My biggest mistake was not silence.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8DAVT5oM5
It was not absence.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2cYbiK1WD
It was not cruelty.

My biggest mistake was yes.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQRqTsdQp9
Yes, I am here.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnho0ttuNIl
Yes, I will listen.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYtwhE2K0u
Yes, I will help.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9Vb5eB1Iw
Yes, I will stay.

I was too available.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvAuidVo1g
Too open.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTDcQ4dvwF
Too ready to pour myself out like water into every empty cup.

They came with stories of brokenness,341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3Otx5WcV0
with heavy confessions,341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzf7vQdy8t
with promises of redemption341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXoi1hooEgJ
spoken as if tomorrow would be different.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLdFzFFYZ8
And I believed them.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPTIzRCeOo
I believed in their return to light341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Re2CPzYcl
more than they believed it themselves.

So I gave.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzFYYQnLtX
I gave until giving became my language.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gGtmsFn4p
I gave until giving became my name.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7BmqXzbVR
I gave until I forgot there was a self behind the sacrifice.

I became a well that never ran dry.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfGfb7MtzX
I became a light that never dimmed.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAZlDjWx4r
I became a door that never closed.

But when my nights grew heavy,341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdf19NOqdbZ
when my storms tore through the roof,341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfrIf2BZTu
when my voice broke and whispered for help,341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjMHf8FTm6
where were they?

Silence.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOpWsqAgZd
That was the answer.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURRYgil1iG
Silence louder than screams.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUIZlVOJqq
Silence heavier than stone.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTG639JL9Pu
Silence that told me the ones I held up341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVjsxzNo9H
never intended to hold me.

And still I stayed.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9e9TBoUxQ2
And still I helped.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1brmjl0Kt
And still I said yes.

Availability can be a trap.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvh1QrDwqW
A gentle prison.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5Y1ZTPmDx
A cage made of open hands.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzX8NvATTU
They mistook my presence for obligation.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0U0omiXaL
They mistook my kindness for weakness.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrthqIm8IRx
They mistook my loyalty for endlessness.

And so they took.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1UICfiMEb
They took until my spirit was threadbare.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXKjrJoXsB
They took until my trust cracked open.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4tif6ZL8l
They took until I no longer believed that people would stay341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIOFtj9aOJ
when the help was mine to need.

Trust does not vanish in a single moment.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeIyaaOPJv
It erodes, grain by grain,341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22ql3uLrN6
like cliffs crumbling beneath the waves.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yWoQIljr6
Until one day you stand barefoot at the edge341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3Rkg2QN94
and realize there is no solid ground beneath you.

Do I regret helping?341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAGsozTvMKM
No.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAAPUXkbPY
The heart that helps is never ugly.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzphisKg3il
The heart that gives is never wasted.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWvv2I18hT
But my mistake was believing341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXK8s4Xyqbd
I had to help at the cost of myself.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyC4sUVVqP
My mistake was believing341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFw7yH5lAj3
that saving others meant I would be saved.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9l8yOvNmd
My mistake was believing341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0t6O8XvQcp
that being available to everyone341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVE7YRnUGZ
was the same as being loved by anyone.

So now I am learning.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbgzvO0Tnu
Learning that boundaries are not cruelty.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEviRSZKoV
Learning that locked doors are not punishment341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSpftnCa1y
but protection.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVp4rLMdb2
Learning that time, and trust, and presence341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡookb0cTVrK
are sacred things341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8ZyrNWrfy
and sacred things must be guarded.

Yes, I was too available.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEGeujaniG
Yes, I was too willing.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfyegsCElr
Yes, I was too open.

But now I choose.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL23V9uu4sW
I choose who sits at my table.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZyc4qfaxj
I choose who drinks from my well.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIw06EUDG3
I choose who walks through the doorway of my heart.

Because availability without discernment341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yqPEwvMSw
is not kindness.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheGr20qdRh
It is surrender.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdUfTB2Wjd
It is erasure.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1DmOiyc1s
It is abandoning myself in the name of love.

And I refuse to abandon myself again.

I will still give,341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNQOMeJNTA
but not to those who only take.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryhE6PMDT3
I will still stay,341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDQLToeh8p
but not for those who walk away when I need them near.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78Tb7fIJIV
I will still love,341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdN1owaKvYW
but not at the price of forgetting my own worth.

My biggest mistake was always being there.341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3a7td7De4
My greatest awakening is learning341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2vBBFRJlj
that I am allowed to choose341Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOyvAoMUAU
who is there for me.

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