The next morning, I wake up with the memory of his kiss still on me. It's like an echo that refuses to fade. I try to shake it off while I get ready, but it comes back every time I close my eyes.
So I decide to go out. I need air. I need not to think about it.
And the only place that makes me feel like myself is Linda's foster home.
When I arrive, the garden gate is open.
The day is bright, the sun warms the grass, and the kids are already outside: some are painting on huge sheets spread across the ground, others are chasing a ball, and a few are fighting over a blue paintbrush.
- Guys! Blue belongs to everyone, not just you, Clary!
Linda's voice rings out the same as always: firm, affectionate, a little tired.
As soon as she sees me, she opens her arms wide.
- Look who's here! Come here, sweetheart.
She hugs me tight. She smells like soap and paint.
- I haven't seen you since that famous charity night, - she says, raising an eyebrow. - And I saw you with Mrs. Isobel's son... what's his name? Kai, right?
My face warms instantly.
- Yeah... I had to leave early, that's all.
Linda makes a sound I know too well.
- Mmh. You don't want to tell me anything? Because it looked to me like there was... a certain look between you two.
- Linda! - I protest, laughing and embarrassed. - I've seen him a couple of times, but it's nothing serious.
She stops in front of me, hands on her hips.
Behind her, a little boy is trying to eat yellow paint.
- Gabriel! No! That's not lemon cream!
Then she turns back to me like nothing happened.
- Vale, listen to me.
She places her hands on my shoulders, her expression softening.
- That boy... he grew up in a complicated family, let's put it that way.
- Yeah, yeah, don't worry, - I cut her off immediately. - There's nothing serious.
She sighs, but she doesn't give up.
- I'm telling you because you could get hurt. And I don't want that. You're my treasure, I've known you since you were little.
She pulls me into a tight hug, laughing.
- And I won't let anyone make you suffer, got it?
I laugh too, hugging her back.
- Don't worry, Linda. There's no danger.
- I hope so, - she says, turning suddenly.
- Rea! Let her go, don't pull her, for heaven's sake!
I watch her run toward the kids, waving her arms, laughing, scolding them with love.
- Vale! Look! I drew a dragon! - a little one says, running up to me.
- It's beautiful, - I tell him, tickling his belly. He giggles and runs away.
Linda shakes her head, amused.
I laugh, looking around the garden, the sun lighting up the colors, the laughter filling the air.
Everything feels simple.
Then, inevitably, my mind goes back to him.
To last night.
To that kiss I can't forget.
To that part of me that woke up and refuses to go quiet again.
Linda calls me from afar, but her voice sounds muffled, like I'm underwater.
Because the truth is, she's right.
And I know it... I know I lied to her.
Because while the kids laugh, while Linda talks, while the sun warms the garden, I still feel his kiss.
I still feel his hands.
And I realize there's something I can't tell anyone.
What I feel for him.
What scares me.
What pulls me in.
What, for now, remains what I don't admit... not even to myself.
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