The bar is empty. Finally. I’ve cleaned everything, wiped the tables, turned off the coffee machine. I take off my apron and fold it carefully. I let my hair down—they’ve been tied up all day, and now they pull a little. I grab my bag, my jacket, my keys.
I step outside. The air is cold. I pull the shutter down, slowly.
I slip the keys into my bag, hold my jacket tight against my chest, and get ready to walk toward the bus stop. The air is sharp, freezing, and the street is almost deserted.
— Psss…
I pretend I didn’t hear. I don’t turn around. My heart speeds up.
— They left you alone tonight?
I turn. And I see him.
Kai is there, leaning against his car, leather jacket on, that unreadable look in his eyes.
— What are you doing here? — I ask, trying to sound indifferent.
— I was passing by.
— Passing by? — I repeat, crossing my arms. — At eleven at night, right in front of the bar where I work?
He gives a small smile. — Maybe I wanted to see if you were done with your shift.
— And why?
— Because… — he steps half a pace closer — I can’t get you out of my head.
I stay silent. I don’t know what to say. I don’t even know if I want to say anything.
— Nothing happened, — I add, almost defending myself.
— I know.
— Then why are you here?
— Because last night… for the first time, I didn’t think about the mess I have around me. And that… never happens to me.
I look away, nervous.
— I’m not a distraction, — I say.
— I know. — His eyes lock onto mine.
I stand there, keys still clenched in my hand, my heart unsure whether to race or stop.
Kai doesn’t say anything else. And neither do I. But something has been said anyway. Something that doesn’t need words.
I wonder what really pulls us toward someone.
I’m not talking about attraction, or curiosity. I mean that invisible force that makes you look for someone’s eyes even when you shouldn’t. That need you can’t explain, but that moves you. As if inside us there were a void that recognizes the void in someone else.
Maybe we get close because we feel a lack. Or maybe it’s just need.
To be seen. To be chosen. To be felt.
And when it happens… it doesn’t matter how wrong it is. It doesn’t matter how dangerous. We stay inside it. Because it feels like the only place where we can breathe.
In the end, we don’t choose who makes us feel whole.
We choose who makes us feel alive.
Kai is still there.
Leaning against the car, hands in his jacket pockets, eyes fixed on me. He doesn’t speak. He doesn’t move. It’s like he’s waiting for me to take the first step.
— I… I have to catch the bus, — I mumble, trying to sound calm.
I turn. I take barely two steps.
A hand grabs mine.
Not hard. Not violent.
Just firm.
I freeze. A shiver runs through me. Kai pulls me gently toward him, just enough to make me turn my face in his direction.
— Wait.
The word hangs in the air, warmer than his breath brushing my skin. I stay still, as if time had stopped. Our eyes meet, and for a moment neither of us breathes.
He looks at me like he’s searching for something inside me. Or maybe like he’s afraid of losing me, without even knowing why.
Then he lifts his gaze to the sky.
— I want to take you somewhere, — he says softly, almost a whisper.
I follow his eyes. Above us, the sky, the moon, the stars drowned by the city lights.
— Tonight the sky is full of stars, — he continues, — but you can’t see them from here. Too much light.
He looks back at me.
— Come with me.
A mix of emotions hits me. I don’t know if it’s fear or excitement, but that tight feeling in my stomach comes back the moment he looks at me like that.
— Kai… I… where do you want to take me? — I ask, my voice trembling a little.
He doesn’t answer right away. He steps back, walks toward the motorcycle parked a few meters away. Then he turns to me.
— Get on.
One word.
Calm.
But so sure it leaves no room for doubt.
I stay still. I look at him. The helmet he’s holding out to me. The streetlights casting shadows across his face.
— You’ll see, — he adds, softer this time.
I don’t know what to do. I know I should say no. I know I barely know this guy. I know there’s something about him that pulls me in and scares me at the same time.
But I also know that if I turn around and leave now, I’ll spend the whole night wondering what I missed.
I take a step.
Then another.
I take the helmet from his hands. Our fingers brush.
— Okay, — I whisper.
I don’t know why, but I feel like I can trust him.
Kai gives a small smile. Not a full one. One of those that only show in the eyes.
I climb onto the motorcycle. He starts the engine. The roar fills the empty street.
— Hold on tight, — he says.
I place my hands at his sides, then, without thinking too much, slide them to his chest. I feel his breath. His warmth. Something I can’t explain.
The motorcycle takes off.
The city disappears behind us.
I don’t know where I’m going.
I only know I don’t want to get off.
The motorcycle slows down, then stops in front of an abandoned industrial building. Cracked walls, broken windows, no lights. When Kai turns off the engine, the silence feels almost heavy.
I get off. Look around. No one. No cars. No houses. Just that giant block of concrete watching the night.
— What is this place? — I ask, pulling my jacket tighter.
Kai doesn’t answer right away. He walks toward me and takes my hand with a naturalness that startles me, like he’s always done it.
— Come.
I follow him to a rusty side door. When he opens it, it creaks. Inside, a staircase climbs upward, lit only by the moon slipping through the cracks.
Our steps echo slowly. I hear my breath, his, the silence around us. And his hand never leaves mine.
We reach the top floor. Another heavy door. Kai pushes it open with his shoulder.
I take a step forward.
Then another.
And when I lift my eyes, I lose my breath.
The sky above us is endless.
Black, deep, full of stars so close it feels like I could touch them. No city lights ruining them. No noise. Just the wind.
— It’s… beautiful, — I whisper.
Kai watches me. Not the sky. Me. Then he sits on the low wall and gestures for me to join him.
— This is where I come when I want to be alone and think, — he says, with a voice I’ve never heard from him.
I sit beside him. Legs dangling over the edge, the wind in my hair. For a moment everything feels far away: the bar, the city, the problems, the fears.
Just us.
And the sky.
Kai leans back on his hands, tilts his head up, closes his eyes for a second, like he’s breathing for the first time.
I look at him.
And I understand this place isn’t just a rooftop.
It’s a part of him.
— You don’t look like the type who likes stars, — I say, smiling a little.
He glances at me. — And you don’t look like the type who gets on a motorcycle.
— And yet here I am. Pretty faces can be deceiving.
I look down at my hands, then at the cold concrete beneath us.
— Why did you bring me here? — I ask quietly.
He inhales slowly, choosing his words.
— Because I didn’t want the night to end in front of a closed shutter.
A small smile escapes me. I can’t help it. Then I change the subject, maybe to lighten the air, maybe because I want to know him for real.
— Do you come here often?
— When I was a kid, I came here to run away from home.
I stare at him. — Run away?
He nods. — Yeah. Let’s just say my childhood wasn’t exactly easy. My dad’s been gone since I was six. My uncle took care of me and my mom.
— Oh… so your father left you too, like mine, — I say without thinking.
He turns to me. There’s something in his eyes I’ve never seen before.
— My father is in prison.
My breath catches. I don’t know what to say.
— I’m sorry, — I whisper.
— It’s fine, — he says, shaking his head. — I’m used to him being gone. It’s like he was never really my father. Like I never had one.
He looks down, playing with a small stone on the edge of the rooftop.
— That’s why this place, — he continues. — Growing up, I used to play around here with my friends. One day I found this staircase, this door… and I came up. Back then the building was still occupied, but I always managed to sneak in. Every time I needed to be alone. And I still do.
I look up at the sky. The stars seem brighter here, closer.
— It feels like a magical place, — I say softly.
— It is, — he answers, looking at me. And I feel he’s not talking about the sky.
He runs a hand through his hair, thinking.
— You know… the other night, when I dropped you off…
My stomach tightens.
I remember that moment perfectly.
His eyes.
Mine.
— …I said “bye, scared eyes.”
I look down.
— I know.
— Do you know why I said it? — he asks.
I shake my head.
— Because every time you look at me… you look like you’re about to run. Like you’re doing something you shouldn’t. Like I’m something you shouldn’t touch.
I bite my lip, embarrassed.
He’s right.
That’s exactly how it feels.
— It’s not your fault, — I whisper. — It’s just… I don’t know what to do when you’re close.
He stands up and moves a little closer.
But I feel him everywhere.
— And now? — he murmurs.
I lift my eyes to his.
I’m not scared anymore.
Or maybe I am, but in a different way.
A way that doesn’t make me run.
— Now… I don’t know, — I admit. — But I don’t want to leave.
He breathes out slowly, like my words took a weight off his chest.
Then he steps closer.
His knee brushes mine.
His hand rests on the wall beside mine.
— Can I tell you something? — he asks, voice low, unfamiliar.
I nod.
— You’re not the one with scared eyes.
He pauses.
— I’m the one who… doesn’t know what you’re doing to me.
I tremble.
He leans in, slowly, like he’s afraid to frighten me.
His face is inches from mine.
I feel his breath.
My own catches.
I close my eyes for a second.
Then open them.
Kai leans in and brushes his lips against mine.
A slow kiss.
Uncertain.
Almost shy.
A kiss that doesn’t demand, doesn’t invade.
His fingers graze my cheek, soft as a promise.
The world disappears beneath us.
Only the stars remain.
And us.
When he pulls back, barely, he stays close enough that I can feel his smile against my skin.
After that kiss, something shifted inside me, like a part of me I didn’t know existed finally woke up. I realized that this boy full of shadows was actually changing my life. I wasn’t afraid anymore. In that moment, I let go of all my doubts, and for the first time in a long time… I felt happiness inside me.
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I had never felt anything so strong with anyone else. How do you even explain it? I don’t think there’s a word that truly describes it. Because it’s not the kiss itself. It’s that rare feeling that runs through you, grabs your stomach, fills your chest. That whirlwind of emotions that takes over and changes you.
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