FOREWORD - CHAPTER 12 – ONE BREATH AWAY FROM THE REST

I don’t know where he’s taking me.

The bike races forward, but my thoughts are faster.

Kai doesn’t speak.

Neither do I.

And yet, in the silence, something vibrates.

It’s not fear.

It’s trust.

Absurd, inexplicable, but real.

The bike slows down, the engine dies.

We arrive.

We’re high up.

An elevated parking lot, empty, suspended above the city.

The lights below look like fallen stars, stuck halfway between the sky and the asphalt.

I get off the bike.

Kai does the same, slowly.

He says nothing.

I look around.

There’s wind, and the view is breathtaking.

I didn’t expect this from someone like him.

"And this place?" I ask, my voice lowering on its own, as if it respects the silence.

"It’s beautiful here."

Kai takes off his helmet and sets it on the bike.

"It’s where I come when I want to be alone with my thoughts."

His voice is different.

Slower.

Truer.

I look at him.

And for a moment, I don’t see the racer, the one everyone fears, the one who always wins.

I see a boy who needs silence.

Space.

Something that can’t be explained.

"It’s really magical," I say, sitting on a low wall.

Kai sits across from me.

The city behind us, like a painting.

And between us, a distance that doesn’t scare me.

"You were brave, you know?" he says, looking me in the eyes.

"I didn’t think you were like that.

Girls don’t just stay behind us.

It depends on how they move. They’re the ones who set the trajectory.

And you… you did great."

I feel myself blush.

"So you’ll stop calling me scared eyes?" I try to joke, though my voice trembles a little.

Kai smiles.

One of those rare times when the smile reaches his eyes.

"Promise.

I don’t think you were scared at all."

I smile, but don’t answer right away.

I’m still trying to figure out what I’m doing here, with him, in this place that feels like it came out of a movie.

Then it just slips out:

"And you? Have you ever been afraid?"

The question comes out unfiltered.

And as soon as I say it, I wonder if I went too far.

Kai doesn’t answer immediately.

He lowers his gaze, like he’s searching for an answer he’s never said aloud.

"Yeah," he finally says.

"But not when I race.

When I stop."

I look at him.

I didn’t expect that.

Not from him.

"When you stop?"

"When everything shuts off.

When there’s no noise, no speed, no adrenaline.

That’s when my thoughts make the most mess."

I stay silent.

Not because I don’t know what to say, but because I feel that moment deserves respect.

It can’t be filled with random words.

"And you?" he asks after a while.

"Why did you come to the race?

You didn’t seem like the type for… this world."

I shrug.

"I’m not.

But sometimes you need something that doesn’t look like you.

Something that makes you feel different."

Kai looks at me.

He doesn’t smile.

But his eyes do something.

Like they’re recording every word.

"Did it make you feel alive?"

"Yes.

But not because of the race.

Because of how I felt when I decided to get on.

When I stopped thinking and said: okay, I’m in."

Silence.

But this time it’s full.

Dense.

Like there’s something between us that doesn’t have a name yet, but it’s real.

Then, for a moment, I snap back to reality.

I check the time.

Shit.

It’s late.

In a few hours I should be at the bar, wearing an apron and a fake smile.

And instead I’m here.

On an elevated parking lot, with a guy I barely know.

I stand up quickly.

"I have to go," I say, trying to sound more decisive than I feel.

I head toward the bike, but I don’t even take two steps.

Kai grabs my hand.

Not tightly.

Just enough to stop me.

Enough to make me turn around.

"Wait," he says.

His voice is reassuring.

He gently pulls me toward him.

There’s no rush.

No noise.

Just us.

And the city watching.

"I never bring anyone here," he says, looking at me.

"I don’t even know why I brought you.

But… I did."

His gaze is locked on mine.

And I feel my heart pounding in my throat.

I feel something is about to happen.

Something I don’t know if I want or fear.

We move closer.

Slowly.

Like time has slowed down just for us.

His face is close.

Too close.

We’re there.

One breath away from the rest.

And for a moment, I think it will happen.

That we’ll break the distance that’s kept us balanced until now.

But it doesn’t.

Because I pull back.

A small gesture, almost imperceptible.

Just enough to show it’s not the moment.

Not yet.

Kai stays still.

He says nothing.

He doesn’t step back.

But he doesn’t push forward either.

His gaze stays on mine, like he’s trying to understand what stopped me.

And I don’t know how to explain it.

It’s just that… I don’t want it to be just any gesture.

Not with him.

"It’s late," I say, lowering my gaze.

"I’ve got the morning shift."

The excuse is weak.

We both know it.

But Kai doesn’t challenge it.

He doesn’t make it harder.

He gives me space.

"Alright," he says.

His voice is calm.

Like he understood.

I turn toward the bike.

He follows.

And as I climb on, I feel something has changed.

Not because of what happened.

But because of what didn’t.

And maybe, sometimes, that’s exactly where everything begins.

I get home.

I don’t turn on the light.

I go straight to my room and throw myself on the bed, still dressed, hair a mess.

I stare at the ceiling.

And I don’t think about anything.

Or maybe I think about everything.

I feel something new, something I’ve never felt before.

Across the city, he’s home too.

Kai.

The guy who never stops.

Who never looks back.

But tonight, he does.

He lies on his bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling, and feels something he can’t name.

It’s not weakness.

It’s not confusion.

It’s like, for the first time, he doesn’t need to defend himself.

I curl up on my side.

Arms wrapped around my stomach.

A sudden tightness grabs me.

It doesn’t hurt.

It’s sweet.

It’s alive.

I smile.

Not because there’s a clear reason.

But because something has changed.

And even if I don’t know what it is, I like this feeling.

I like it enough to close my eyes and let it stay.

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