-Zane
326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2cuyCGMNB
Abandonment
Family and abandonment.
Both words I am close to.
My closest friend was left to die by his family.
Jayden couldn’t stand his family and left them. He only ever said this about himself:
Neither of them ever had a real family—they’ve been abandoned, or they abandoned.
A family.
It’s one of the few things I never talk about when it comes to myself, and the reason isn’t hard to guess. I don’t want to rub salt into my friends’ wounds by speaking of something they’ve always longed for, because I fear it might hurt them even more.
I admit my family wasn’t perfect, but they were there.
My father, my mother, and my little sister.
My little sister.
Why does this sentence hurt so much? Why does it always crawl back into my nightmares?
I already know the answer, but admitting it is too painful. Denying what I know and lying to myself is easier, isn’t it? Less painful.
Because without realizing it, I may have abandoned the person I loved and cherished most in this world.
But I didn’t leave… I was a good brother.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WM14SexkL
I used to braid my sister’s hair, help her cut it—she loved short hair, even when Dad got mad at her for it. We’d play in the mud, make up stories and tell them to Mom. When she had nightmares, I’d hold her, help her calm down, protect her.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfocjp9xND0
I was a good brother.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueVQUsSx4J
A good brother doesn’t abandon his sister like Mom did. A good brother never leaves.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywp6YxCr0j
I didn’t abandon her.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLWxYIdR8V
I didn’t abandon her.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5CkwFjH1Q
I didn’t abandon her.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3OCou5lqz
I was a good brother.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeH7Ebt9Sf
I was a good brother.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIC3b2YQ3M
I was a good brother.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINLNWbVcIm
I was a good brother.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBlSkQAoAu
I was a good brother.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiz84u2yy6R
I was a good brother.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFDglzMQCj
I was a good brother.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZyQ9zXLgo0
I was a good brother.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vir1JVODm
I was a good brother.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVmg1xWZWk
I was a good brother.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16r0ESof4K
I was a good brother.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQoUl4DHeD
I was a good brother.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgiGay51R9
I was a good brother.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5tkYUrHcx
I was a good brother.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndkNSNKksR
I was a good sibling.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJesqptdhM
I was a good sibling.326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8J7sGk6EK
I was a good sibling.
Am I joking? I was a terrible brother. The worst. I left her alone…
You didn’t do it on purpose, Zane. This was your dream, remember? Didn’t she want it for you too? Didn’t she encourage you? Didn’t you write to her every week during training? You didn’t forget her—you couldn’t have left her by forgetting.
But would she want me to let her go?
Would she?
After Mom left, we lay on the grass watching the stars and I made her a promise. I swore:
— “You won’t leave me, right brother?”326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYomq3WwNI3
— “Never. I promise, I won’t even let you feel that way.”
Does it matter when I promised it? I didn’t keep it. I was a bad brother.
I abandoned her, and now I don’t even know what happened to her. Is she alive, or already buried beneath the ground? All I can do is hope and pray she’s alive and well.
If she is alive, I don’t deserve her forgiveness. I don’t even see her. I don’t even care.
— “Brother, where are you? You promised…”
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
Tears fell one by one down my face, and I whispered, unable to hold it in anymore:
I’m so sorry, Lyssa…
ns216.73.216.43da2
and then Add to home screen.