"Nothing heals heartbreak like screaming Olivia Rodrigo at full volume."
From: [email protected]38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xFEccdGoL
To: [email protected]38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnckTdXitoq
Subject: pettiest playlist of the year goes to… me
eli.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAVoWijcs2
i made a playlist titled “for when your groupmate uses comic sans and your faith in humanity breaks.”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAS6bNrU8SL
i’m currently scream-singing to track 4 while eating cereal with a fork because all my spoons are in the sink.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1EjamDHIB
it’s a mood.
– maya38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7B6gMVOZa
sad. dramatic. cereal-forking.
From: [email protected]38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXn3ZJegVj
To: [email protected]38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAkE1gcGZh
Subject: cereal fork is a vibe
maya.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77kQP5BQkw
track 4 better be “good 4 u” or i’m calling the authorities.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7BWpySDY0
also, the fork thing is valid. i once drank iced coffee with a knife. no regrets.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6kznKYfg5
send me the playlist. for... peer review.
– eli38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqV6dHa2iXJ
music snob, chaos enabler
From: [email protected]38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsteM25EgP
To: [email protected]38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMp3TIeFND3
Subject: attached: rage therapy 💕
okay you asked for it.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLASAfrOfI7
enjoy: [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4mtUmL00VaYfC0gkEH0Odt?si=uPQWcd-5RuGOfoOppIcfQg] “dear god why do men” — a playlist in five stages of grief, three accidental crushes, and one cup of weaponized spite.
tracklist highlights:
misery business – paramore
better than revenge – taylor swift
good 4 u – olivia rodrigo
brutal – also olivia, my queen
should’ve said no – taylor again, obviously
kill bill – sza (i don’t condone murder, but i vibe)
– maya38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp428JzXvmp
the most dramatic person you never met
From: [email protected]38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81OxuD0CyN
To: [email protected]38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAS9ILrtU6
Subject: playlist review: violently iconic
maya.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33wmuz1MCF
i have goosebumps.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFlC5FuRZJ
i want to fight someone. i don’t even know who. but i’m hyped.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43HkBpwjzu
“kill bill” came on and i almost texted my ex “good luck.”38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtn7Em4Ud0h
i didn’t. but spiritually, i did.
also: “dear god why do men” deserves a grammy for best emotional support.
– eli38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPp4cocPf7h
threatened. inspired.
From: [email protected]38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5RLJ6KcFM
To: [email protected]38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVhuZB3XED
Subject: so we’re rage soulmates now?
eli,38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WUAtLXzaj
you passed the vibe check.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41EymaB6QO
you didn’t question my musical angst or my cereal fork.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgMeH9sbSC
this feels like the start of something irrationally comforting.
ps: have you ever cried to phoebe bridgers in a parking lot or is that just me?
– maya38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbXzr6Icdr
emotionally stable adjacent
From: [email protected]38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT11kGXLujz
To: [email protected]38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jz6PpShkp
Subject: phoebe bridgers made me cry at the DMV
maya.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpJ0UGQ2Ru
“motion sickness” came on. i was holding a ticket that said A132.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZfS7GewuK
i did cry.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYMDtKvIpx
the security guard offered me a tissue and a mint.
so yes. we’re bonded now.
– eli38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvwkEUEpIE
co-president, feelings club
From: [email protected]38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFQzIcqQsG
To: [email protected]38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIVO0zpWbh
Subject: certified mood
i would like to formally nominate you as:
my email pen pal
my official heartbreak soundtrack consultant
and co-author of “texts we never sent but emotionally screamed”
it’s a growing resume. benefits include emotional chaos and unsolicited memes.
– maya38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKlgzspKKl
possibly your new internet pen friend
From: [email protected]38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUXlE7kfgF
To: [email protected]38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkvhTblld0
Subject: i accept the role
with great inbox comes great responsibility.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYbLFRnKUI
you send the songs, i’ll send the sarcasm.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZpkH2Xer6
together we’re like...38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECKM5VOtty
the emotional avengers.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk06xTUDQy9
no capes though. just playlists.
– eli38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZMN6x9aNQ
ready to rage, reply, repeat
Attachment: Liner Notes from Eli Martin38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QGOtwFMuk
🎧 “dear god why do men” – Reviewed
📝 liner notes by eli, who has clearly felt too much and judged too many fonts
Track 1: Misery Business – Paramore38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwremzHkRk
this track made me want to break up with someone i’m not dating.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NhtBPQgAb
⭐ rage level: 9.5/10
Track 2: Better Than Revenge – Taylor Swift38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVOlvvSaf5
may have shouted “she’s not a saint!” at a squirrel.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1tdIhS9qm
⭐ sass factor: 11/10
Track 3: good 4 u – Olivia Rodrigo38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtI4NdESdK
screamed into a spoon. felt better.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLOgwwiCng
⭐ catharsis: 10/10
Track 4: brutal – Olivia Rodrigo38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7W4GeeMTG3
i knocked over a lamp. worth it.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8jh90tfsZ
⭐ chaos energy: unmeasurable
Track 5: should’ve said no – Taylor Swift38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2olSQM3bJL
the rain cried for me.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeMOr8QBP9
⭐ drama: peak
Track 6: Kill Bill – SZA38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnILRSPWhL
i do not condone murder. but i understand.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweOQReaJoK
⭐ emotional weaponry: activated
Final thoughts:38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKyypfo6Jh
this playlist isn't therapy. it's exorcism.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYECDNGHs7
i feel seen, personally attacked, and spiritually lighter.38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWCmevcHaO
maya, if you ever make another one — please consider me your chaos consultant.
– eli38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXjMoRL4JV
officially unwell in a poetic way
然後按「加至主畫面」