在經過那天夜晚後,他們的生活並沒有立即發生什麼劇烈的變化。55Please respect copyright.PENANAPVQ3BXXr7W
55Please respect copyright.PENANAZhOkipEg2U
糸師冴恢復了訓練的節奏,一切都像回到了正軌。55Please respect copyright.PENANAkN8Lvt2M9h
55Please respect copyright.PENANASUHrgc0KxW
他現在所屬的訓練基地不對外開放,記者與訪客不得擅入。基地本身雖不華麗,但設施完整且專業,從力量房到室內場、康復中心到心理輔導區應有盡有。55Please respect copyright.PENANAe9MPsnn3Zw
55Please respect copyright.PENANAxbMk1AqaX2
每天早上,他總是最早抵達球場的人。天還沒完全亮,場地邊緣還泛著未退的霜白,糸師冴就已經穿好訓練衣,開始繞場慢跑,做暖身,接著進入重複千百次的基本傳球、停球與控球練習。55Please respect copyright.PENANAbY4SVwLUk9
55Please respect copyright.PENANAFtZ3hONCN3
他的動作俐落,沒有任何失誤。從旁人眼裡看來,糸師冴「沒有退步」。55Please respect copyright.PENANAnVwLFLf6H7
但只有他自己知道,YIPS從來不是退步,而是恐懼與遲疑藏進了反射動作之中。55Please respect copyright.PENANATiWII2PafV
55Please respect copyright.PENANA37Jh43fejE
那是一種只有真正站上場,才會知道的異樣感。55Please respect copyright.PENANAAA5JbRwBxv
55Please respect copyright.PENANAxymqJEGUao
——當腦袋下達指令,腳卻比以往慢了一秒;當你看見球來了,卻無法像以前一樣迅速做出選擇。55Please respect copyright.PENANAawHA6gVuPp
55Please respect copyright.PENANAjdKnfbklgQ
那種感覺不明顯,卻會在瞬間毀掉整場比賽。55Please respect copyright.PENANAm21nWhILyt
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因此,他反覆練習。用汗水逼迫自己重新信任自己的腳、自己的判斷。55Please respect copyright.PENANA0MHYL2aT0R
55Please respect copyright.PENANAP0AqM69FQQ
等到日光斜斜灑進球場邊緣時,與RE·AL合作的大學青訓隊也陸續報到。那些少年大多與他年齡相仿,朝氣蓬勃,身上帶著尚未察覺的銳氣與剛要起飛的野心——55Please respect copyright.PENANAC0SWOC2MSf
55Please respect copyright.PENANArEMJkeiftV
他們會看見糸師冴早已滿身是汗,連護膝和手套都濕透。沒有人問他為什麼這麼早來練習——也沒有人問他為什麼回來。55Please respect copyright.PENANAFJUH0THftl
55Please respect copyright.PENANAoyVOSjZIr1
對這些少年來說,糸師冴是從海外頂級俱樂部歸來的明星,氣場冷冽又強大。他們在他身邊練習時會忍不住偷瞄、壓低聲音討論,甚至在對練時不自覺避讓。55Please respect copyright.PENANAtH9dDpsS00
55Please respect copyright.PENANAL5KZMy13kZ
糸師冴的存在太安靜,也太有壓迫感。55Please respect copyright.PENANAozDaz0Z0Gx
像是一段不需解釋的傳說突然回到眼前,只剩訓練本身在說話。55Please respect copyright.PENANAwX2szfbapR
55Please respect copyright.PENANAkmeTZHIHzJ
他感覺得出來,也從不掩飾這種落差。55Please respect copyright.PENANA2vQZVVyteQ
55Please respect copyright.PENANArCew4HL0eB
——但他知道,這不是回到過去。55Please respect copyright.PENANARxwpkLqEGG
55Please respect copyright.PENANAIXXuJkiZ6q
每週,他必須提交訓練報告與心理狀況評估,並在遠端視訊會議中接受教練組與RE·AL總部的監控回饋。一切看似規律、穩定,實則是在一條逐步被收緊的繩索上行走。55Please respect copyright.PENANAYVFljkBcCb
55Please respect copyright.PENANACjGvUz61B2
三個月內若無明顯改善,他就可能被正式標記為「失去主力價值的球員」。55Please respect copyright.PENANAOqf1GINzGS
55Please respect copyright.PENANADOMAXRqyfu
這裡沒有鎂光燈,沒有傳奇的鼓掌聲。55Please respect copyright.PENANAxSJHxlRDCQ
55Please respect copyright.PENANAaqTJ5rsmqa
只有他自己,與那些他不認識的未來選手們,在同一片場地上喘息、奔跑、摔倒、再站起來。55Please respect copyright.PENANArPQ7HhmBDC
55Please respect copyright.PENANA6nCEG7zdQ4
這份孤獨很清楚,也很真實。55Please respect copyright.PENANA0D0w3exogy
也正因為孤獨,他才能不被打擾地,一步一步——55Please respect copyright.PENANAiYhJakSuSs
55Please respect copyright.PENANATeHOv3B0Ll
慢慢逼近那個自己曾經說過「一定會抵達」的位置。55Please respect copyright.PENANAXvB82KpfH5
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***55Please respect copyright.PENANA8T8aOVnqI7
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與此同時,星野莉奈的生活仍舊按著行程表精準運轉,甚至達到前所未有的緊湊。55Please respect copyright.PENANAPzmvseYieY
55Please respect copyright.PENANAky9ExLeNu3
清晨五點的妝髮,九點準時進棚拍攝,午休接受簡短採訪,下午三點轉場,晚上七點參加活動或品牌會議——她幾乎沒有喘息的空間。55Please respect copyright.PENANA2hu9rPoc0r
55Please respect copyright.PENANAhIutdjsgcy
在鏡頭前,星野莉奈學會拿捏「剛剛好」——不過分熱情,也不太過疏離。55Please respect copyright.PENANAWc0oXZD4RH
55Please respect copyright.PENANAfCabRQJPHt
過去那些只在快閃店亮相的拍攝,現在已經開始進入品牌公關的正規會議名單——她的定位,正從曝光素材,慢慢走向核心代言候補。55Please respect copyright.PENANAMRpq1MpnkS
55Please respect copyright.PENANAcDF0UPuhuB
高級感、親和力、性感率真,甜美自信,她切換自如。造型師說她是天生的衣架子,攝影師說她的眼神能說故事,品牌總監說她是「可塑性極高的質感模特兒」。55Please respect copyright.PENANAKZENAYWwYD
55Please respect copyright.PENANAAA6XHGj6Ep
她知道——她真正該做的,不是「展現什麼」,而是「收起什麼」。55Please respect copyright.PENANAlrGoiKwjBn
55Please respect copyright.PENANA02KxwLi3tq
收起情緒,收起喜好,收起不該出現在燈光下那部分的自己,才能成為任何品牌想要的樣子。55Please respect copyright.PENANAUfUChx0111
55Please respect copyright.PENANAUdQEDl0KE3
她不是沒看到網路上的留言,也不是沒聽過某些品牌內部那些有意無意的討論。55Please respect copyright.PENANATOru1Mg7Nw
55Please respect copyright.PENANAW4z4CWsEZt
「最近看起來好像穩定滿多的。」55Please respect copyright.PENANAZpPwT4hGWz
「就是那個被冴神隔空拒絕的女生?」55Please respect copyright.PENANA6SsNkZ08oY
「還以為這時候會怒炒一波耶。」55Please respect copyright.PENANAWQFeVLi67s
「裝沒事比較快啦,畢竟被打臉滿慘的。」55Please respect copyright.PENANA5uiAnk4qCa
55Please respect copyright.PENANASR5NN0oSxH
這些話,她都聽過。55Please respect copyright.PENANAGl3mo645Qc
55Please respect copyright.PENANA6sIKo55sPC
包含那些網路留言。最初看到時,星野莉奈甚至會因為心跳太快而忘了呼吸。現在已經不會了,只是視線會下意識地掠過螢幕、滑開頁面,像是肌肉記憶。55Please respect copyright.PENANA0iwi4srfS5
55Please respect copyright.PENANAgLuL6zOuzV
「年紀還輕嘛,說話難免沒輕沒重的。」55Please respect copyright.PENANAOZtjXJQyGY
55Please respect copyright.PENANAXz08dLsGOp
那句話是某位客戶在會議結束後、走出門口時隨口說的。她正好站在電梯前,一句不漏地聽進去了。55Please respect copyright.PENANAxx1n7o4hrs
55Please respect copyright.PENANAvmJgjTaPmT
「小模星野莉奈Rina配不上天才足球員糸師冴」——背後多少潛台詞,誰都聽得出來。55Please respect copyright.PENANAw9XlW8MQAr
55Please respect copyright.PENANASvSd2j4LYp
從她開始出現在更多視野中、廣告裡;從那篇訪談爆紅之後,這些就一波接一波地出現。55Please respect copyright.PENANA57Um0xky87
55Please respect copyright.PENANAUq83UnJfqL
就算她已經接下幾個高端品牌的聯名合作、登過幾次雜誌封面、拍過多支廣告、出席過不少活動——壓低妳的人從不會管妳走到哪裡。他們只想確定:妳還沒到他們想要的位置。55Please respect copyright.PENANABsM4oICtTj
55Please respect copyright.PENANAXkQqrk9FHn
而這句話不只是說她不夠好,更是在嘲笑那個被她告白、卻沒回應的天才——「他怎麼會選這種女孩」?他們不是在問她配不配,而是在懷疑他怎麼可能會看見她。55Please respect copyright.PENANAMZ8QBZNsAU
55Please respect copyright.PENANAPPQr6w6aVx
星野莉奈笑了笑,沒關係。本來就是啊。55Please respect copyright.PENANAkSkq7bWoNW
他可是已經被世界看到的人呢。而她——不,她也在走,哪怕每一步都不被算進那個「世界」裡。55Please respect copyright.PENANAqYhEYSHSCW
55Please respect copyright.PENANAOJThw9qNgf
經紀人很快幫她擋下了幾個敏感採訪,也悄悄聯繫幾家媒體,請他們「先觀望」,讓「告白事件」的新聞繼續沉底。55Please respect copyright.PENANAJBk8YJE1sZ
55Please respect copyright.PENANAEbhk9NOueA
某天下午收工,在保母車上,經紀人一邊翻行程表一邊說:「Rina,如果最近行程太滿,妳需要喘口氣的話,記得跟我說。」55Please respect copyright.PENANAGCKHAKl4g4
55Please respect copyright.PENANAVXsjAZAGMg
「目前⋯⋯還可以吧。」星野莉奈點點頭,但語氣裡明明就藏著一點勉強。55Please respect copyright.PENANAAlmFdQgSbV
55Please respect copyright.PENANAaWWlrYDs7W
她不說,對方也不是沒察覺。小川鈴從鼻樑上摘下黑框眼鏡,語氣少有地嚴肅:「妳應該知道,為什麼我把妳行程排那麼滿吧?」55Please respect copyright.PENANARKqN7kvijS
55Please respect copyright.PENANAxajgSi9HVx
「不是因為之前Absence的香水代言嗎?上了熱門搜尋,又有歐洲品牌找上來,所以案子就多起來?」55Please respect copyright.PENANAG5uPvIy0gn
55Please respect copyright.PENANAVn6jZsHEzS
「不只是這樣。」經紀人輕輕嘆了口氣,語氣像是在提醒、告訴她,風還沒過去。55Please respect copyright.PENANAChs8wHIbfn
55Please respect copyright.PENANADJudqYFOwb
「——是因為糸師冴回來日本了。」55Please respect copyright.PENANAy0KadU3LMR
55Please respect copyright.PENANA2WgDVIjoZ1
「啊?有什麼關係?」55Please respect copyright.PENANARL3jLDneXQ
55Please respect copyright.PENANAzj6o7m6KwE
星野莉奈下意識脫口而出,但那瞬間,連自己都愣了一下——他回來了。她不是一直在等這件事嗎?怎麼會是現在這樣?55Please respect copyright.PENANADzmh9pKkxV
55Please respect copyright.PENANA5eExwEDlEO
「那篇訪問妳忘了嗎?雖然已經有一段時間了。但只要糸師冴還出現在媒體上,網路風向隨時會被翻出來——那段『他沒回妳告白』的事,還沒完全沉底。」55Please respect copyright.PENANAgsP214fz93
55Please respect copyright.PENANAZVfgf46zkF
「所以⋯⋯」55Please respect copyright.PENANAVdcixtiKbn
55Please respect copyright.PENANArQcMTE3HAL
「所以我們現在要做的,是讓大家慢慢淡忘那段,把焦點轉回妳的作品上。要讓人記得的,是模特兒星野莉奈Rina——不是八卦新聞裡的誰。」55Please respect copyright.PENANAgI7JDWdCJh
55Please respect copyright.PENANAluY655fKK7
星野莉奈輕輕吸了口氣,望向窗外閃過的燈火。55Please respect copyright.PENANA6yMex1lHcR
55Please respect copyright.PENANAr2PTLxXV1x
模特兒星野莉奈Rina。55Please respect copyright.PENANAIbKMXTHoGG
那個走進棚內就能切換表情的Rina,三秒換好情緒、讓攝影師驚呼「剛剛那張太有戲了」的她。55Please respect copyright.PENANA8ApI2SPftu
55Please respect copyright.PENANAy6ENyMvNCW
「小川姐,如果⋯⋯我不管那些輿論八卦呢?」55Please respect copyright.PENANAtfYgMz7ZB1
55Please respect copyright.PENANAZxnut3ZL5y
她低頭望向手機裡模糊的倒影。不是沒怕過那些聲音,只是現在——她怕的,是有一天,自己會開始懷疑自己的堅持。55Please respect copyright.PENANA67YNzm2B1L
55Please respect copyright.PENANALd30eQhaQk
記得曾經在冬夜陪人練球的自己、在球場偷聽兩兄弟說話的自己。那個會在訊息框裡敲下「你今天踢得超帥」卻默默收回的自己——55Please respect copyright.PENANAX9AbDdG1ZC
55Please respect copyright.PENANA8W5fEQjgTb
說好他們去當世界第一,她走向伸展台,一起面對鎂光燈的樣子。55Please respect copyright.PENANAhlekCNkAVP
55Please respect copyright.PENANAdNMeTh4CNg
「那次Absence香水廣告的訪談,如果我那麼在意那些話,就不會說得那麼好了。」55Please respect copyright.PENANAaGu54wUx5x
55Please respect copyright.PENANAo1Lbi8jlLl
小川鈴沉默了一會兒,只是靜靜看星野莉奈一眼,重新戴上眼鏡,又低頭繼續翻行程表。55Please respect copyright.PENANAKPJ2Oymodf
55Please respect copyright.PENANAySEB1xA7YE
「這就是妳要自己想清楚的問題了,Rina。這個行業不是這樣運行的。」小川鈴語氣仍輕,卻有種讓人無法忽視的堅定,55Please respect copyright.PENANA5wMk6kuylF
55Please respect copyright.PENANAFCWIkUqGTm
「我可以幫妳擋新聞、推通告、穩住品牌——但妳得自己選,鏡頭前站著的那個妳,是誰。」55Please respect copyright.PENANAlShfDT9JdD
55Please respect copyright.PENANAK4N8RUexUh
星野莉奈沒有立刻回應,只是手指慢慢滑開手機螢幕,點進了那個熟悉的對話框——55Please respect copyright.PENANA1iwewTzvqw
55Please respect copyright.PENANAlTYxOai49n
糸師冴的名字,靜靜地躺在最上面。沒有新訊息,也沒有已讀。55Please respect copyright.PENANAZ30wo09PSj
她停頓了幾秒,想了很久,卻什麼都沒打。55Please respect copyright.PENANAWwWlbpMkmD
55Please respect copyright.PENANAf0FKzyn4uN
「這圈子裡,不會有人等妳釐清自己。觀眾只看得到他們想看的那個形象,媒體也是。」55Please respect copyright.PENANAF4cPqPiKkv
55Please respect copyright.PENANA0mDJU2TntO
小川鈴語氣不急不緩,「妳不說,就會有人幫妳定義——那通常不是我們喜歡的版本。」55Please respect copyright.PENANA1gVdUrWOxQ
55Please respect copyright.PENANAYxYMWXtO39
彷彿看透星野莉奈,小川鈴輕聲補上一句:55Please respect copyright.PENANAZhYjrGLscX
55Please respect copyright.PENANAgKVV5uJLPm
「沉默在這個行業裡,不見得站得住腳。」55Please respect copyright.PENANAND6cWsnw5y
55Please respect copyright.PENANAx37uR0ETsg
星野莉奈低聲開口,語氣誠懇,甚至帶點愧疚:「可是小川姐,這整件事⋯⋯不就是因為我自己『說出口』、『失言』了嗎?說了,還不是一樣?他們只看想看的,用自己的方式解讀。」55Please respect copyright.PENANADT3wXaSPVR
55Please respect copyright.PENANAUGjouJDVvf
「所以才要說得——剛剛好。」55Please respect copyright.PENANAmRkOp2Y9m9
55Please respect copyright.PENANAU594f7JUDB
小川鈴語氣不重,但落點極準,「就像在快門前那樣。」55Please respect copyright.PENANA5uEziwfXwA
55Please respect copyright.PENANA18HHcaIMEO
星野莉奈垂下雙肩。她不認為那是相同的東西。55Please respect copyright.PENANA6N3XFBXC5x
55Please respect copyright.PENANAf3ilzcvMul
「Rina,我其實不想這麼說,因為太像在推著妳往前——但除了妳母親,我沒見過這麼有天份的模特兒。如果妳因此停下了,我會覺得很可惜。」55Please respect copyright.PENANA21CEwr39WQ
55Please respect copyright.PENANAyLYEsxzeaL
車子駛過十字路口,紅燈轉綠。55Please respect copyright.PENANAFDHKdfsyRS
55Please respect copyright.PENANAReKXbNkyaV
星野莉奈垂下眼,沒有再說話。沒有點開訊息框,只是靜靜地握緊手機。55Please respect copyright.PENANA6TL9OYYvpu
55Please respect copyright.PENANAoitM1p6IQ7
她心裡,有個聲音慢慢浮現:55Please respect copyright.PENANAXZxIPad7TV
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——我沒有要放棄。
55Please respect copyright.PENANAne2yus7GRK
55Please respect copyright.PENANAprh1fP8Jbf