THE FOOL. - Hope Was All I Had

There are things… and there are people.

Some I know.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXWadoFaVv
Some I love.

And somehow, the ones I love… they never stay.

I never asked for much.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJxO5H9uXg
Not love. Not promises.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlF6MrYtLD3
Just her presence.

But saying goodbye—typing it even—is far easier than living with it.

Because I cared. Deeply.

And now, I don’t know how to remember life before her.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFzgRCL8g8
Before the shared evenings, the bus stops, the laughter, the silences.

Still, I knew I had to let go.

Not for me.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZpbu8tsi4
For her.

Because if me walking away gives her peace, then I’ll walk.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7g4AxJliy7
Even if it means leaving behind the part of myself I found in her.

But I didn’t want it to end quietly.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFAvNduzjw
I wanted it to hurt, to leave a mark—because that’s what she meant.

And so, I became the villain in my own story.

I decided: if she needs a reason to forget me, I’ll give her one.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhD2gu32tGv
A clean break. A wound that heals with time, not confusion.

So I dug out what I buried long ago—269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSQoK2aOIR
The confession.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj21tEHK99V
The one I promised I’d never say.

I poured everything into a message—everything I was, everything we were, and everything I wanted her to be.

And one night, between externals, I confessed.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneWF1gT50V
Over WhatsApp.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGbeCH3qzQ
No buildup. Just heart.

I told her the truth she never asked for.

And I knew the answer.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSua5wteTk
Of course I did.

It would be a no—269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrLonNvWDn
In the present,269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASG4kuFzlQ
In the past,269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbWkGIkWg3
And in any faraway future I could imagine.

But she replied:

“I need some time.”

And I said I would wait.

Not because I believed the answer would change—269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjsttGwOwa
But because that’s what confessions are for.

To end things the way they should’ve never begun.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡac7XNXfi8u

She asked that if I knew what her answer would be.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeslZImUvy0
I replied 49/51.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBoPX4RVo4n
Knowing damn well that it was 100% a No.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNSzrSSPRo
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu45xhnWG1i
but something deep inside replied with a 49% a Yes.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGleBvBItqL
even it couldn't say Yes a 50%.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyKrx0JMTO
cause It and I knew from a long time.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4UcEOvawf
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uSKrbxojf
The externals started.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOo4IjR3CY
The rush came back flying.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVXBnlJFVw
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP92ou8093b
While I was in a war with thoughts.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTCyfCJajX
And as the days went on.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡis7tpYgiF8
269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7U5HqR77Fe

One random night, while I waited in silence,269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi140aBfYTN
The universe had one more tragedy to give.

Outside my home, I sat alone under the sky—my mind a war zone of logic and hope.

My mother stepped out for a walk, along with Potti—my dog, my companion—and her one and only pup.

The pup didn’t even have a name yet.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PWiDr6yTo
I was waiting for Seren to name her.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzNsnEqeSi
But life didn’t wait for names.

Suddenly, a pack of street dogs came rushing.

They attacked—vicious, fast, merciless.

Without thinking, I ran to them—bare hands, bare heart.

I tried.

God, I tried.

Screaming, pushing, shielding Potti and the pup.

But it wasn’t enough.

They bit me, tore into my arms and legs,269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7oolZ7Vja
while I wrapped myself around the ones I loved.

Six dogs.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgn07MBCwA
No help.

Until my father and neighbors came rushing.

But by then—

It was too late.

In my arms, Potti lay still—269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdYadfNQM3
Her fur stained with blood, her neck torn.

The pup, her tiny body broken, missing a leg,269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8Eqeu4icg
barely breathing.

We rushed them to the nearest hospital.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokKlrLLRUE
Tears finally came after years of holding them back.

But hope was all I carried.

And hope was not enough.

They couldn’t save them.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYgMPbkVZH
No one could.

And I was left—269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47ESsfr5CD
Bloody.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25zIMZdHzB
Bitten.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchBeVpg5g7
Alone.

A boy with too many wounds—269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2GCvgkhjZ
Some you could see.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRELFdbnmKp
Most you couldn’t.

I didn’t know what to do.

So, that night, I messaged her.

“Hey, are you awake?”

There was silence in my house.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdQIT2AVFB
And an even louder one inside me.

I had an exam the next morning.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemvsdovzLv
An external.

But nothing felt more urgent than that question I couldn’t stop asking:

What matters more—269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkfB6m7mzC
The present or the future?

Until that night, I never even thought about it.

But that night… I got my answer.

Both matter.

And yet, when forced to choose, we weigh them.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8Cu2kJjRg
We try to balance what we feel and what we know.

The heart says stay.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKIJ42DIQQ
The mind says go.

One believes.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XlcJZHdSp
One doubts.

One clings.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Sd5G7eOxF
One lets go.

And so I waited for her reply.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHF7K5yvVR
But it didn’t come.

Morning came instead.

Same bus.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7oGGsANAY
Same college.

But I wasn't the same.

I wore a mask—like always.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRF1hIDaAZ
Attended the exam.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNfQ34XYYQ
Laughed with friends.269Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmmrWwkBUX
Pretended.

Because that’s what Rudeus is for.

But who could’ve guessed?

That in the evening—

After everything had burned down—

The answer to my confession would finally arrive.

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