THE FOOL. - Hope Was All I Had

There are things… and there are people.

Some I know.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdXUgoSblX
Some I love.

And somehow, the ones I love… they never stay.

I never asked for much.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeMlh41EA5
Not love. Not promises.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV119JbjjVg
Just her presence.

But saying goodbye—typing it even—is far easier than living with it.

Because I cared. Deeply.

And now, I don’t know how to remember life before her.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBzNYdLjSJ
Before the shared evenings, the bus stops, the laughter, the silences.

Still, I knew I had to let go.

Not for me.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAw4SEF5Hsq
For her.

Because if me walking away gives her peace, then I’ll walk.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNE0ui3ickk
Even if it means leaving behind the part of myself I found in her.

But I didn’t want it to end quietly.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeuMttZhf6
I wanted it to hurt, to leave a mark—because that’s what she meant.

And so, I became the villain in my own story.

I decided: if she needs a reason to forget me, I’ll give her one.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMoMim7D1Ah
A clean break. A wound that heals with time, not confusion.

So I dug out what I buried long ago—85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEq1ZMsypd
The confession.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJft2vOvUMI
The one I promised I’d never say.

I poured everything into a message—everything I was, everything we were, and everything I wanted her to be.

And one night, between externals, I confessed.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qnk83NTX6
Over WhatsApp.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1KRdDeTVh
No buildup. Just heart.

I told her the truth she never asked for.

And I knew the answer.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWzbrPxBXg
Of course I did.

It would be a no—85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXP1DdC3Mb
In the present,85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvJqXk1MFS
In the past,85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkuAeHUCpy
And in any faraway future I could imagine.

But she replied:

“I need some time.”

And I said I would wait.

Not because I believed the answer would change—85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcanCNwFoT9
But because that’s what confessions are for.

To end things the way they should’ve never begun.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn323aYp2ei

She asked that if I knew what her answer would be.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqPCgYoJL2
I replied 49/51.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOGqg5qvWZ
Knowing damn well that it was 100% a No.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡti26bmwuQY
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fzypRuXlg
but something deep inside replied with a 49% a Yes.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6gt99Sd0Z
even it couldn't say Yes a 50%.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXz1vHWA9N
cause It and I knew from a long time.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHinIPhiaNo
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWB1OqkWUX
The externals started.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0HXWKPkCw
The rush came back flying.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVz8AdaUvg3
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1xrKzx5PD
While I was in a war with thoughts.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0l0xSbujO
And as the days went on.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASoxYAZNe9
85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyB2B4dxjZ

One random night, while I waited in silence,85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeOkvFv5gP
The universe had one more tragedy to give.

Outside my home, I sat alone under the sky—my mind a war zone of logic and hope.

My mother stepped out for a walk, along with Potti—my dog, my companion—and her one and only pup.

The pup didn’t even have a name yet.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHDylFsAca
I was waiting for Seren to name her.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlq6hwmuss
But life didn’t wait for names.

Suddenly, a pack of street dogs came rushing.

They attacked—vicious, fast, merciless.

Without thinking, I ran to them—bare hands, bare heart.

I tried.

God, I tried.

Screaming, pushing, shielding Potti and the pup.

But it wasn’t enough.

They bit me, tore into my arms and legs,85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZf8WEH3YP
while I wrapped myself around the ones I loved.

Six dogs.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvTJxpjcVE
No help.

Until my father and neighbors came rushing.

But by then—

It was too late.

In my arms, Potti lay still—85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDOPk38mSf
Her fur stained with blood, her neck torn.

The pup, her tiny body broken, missing a leg,85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6n5pvxhkLz
barely breathing.

We rushed them to the nearest hospital.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzb1KzJCeXH
Tears finally came after years of holding them back.

But hope was all I carried.

And hope was not enough.

They couldn’t save them.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVDFWILZUE
No one could.

And I was left—85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7r82MIRIxv
Bloody.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqWqAeM8ND
Bitten.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBD4MkVmgl
Alone.

A boy with too many wounds—85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaoFYtmTX3
Some you could see.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnOy5jTLeT
Most you couldn’t.

I didn’t know what to do.

So, that night, I messaged her.

“Hey, are you awake?”

There was silence in my house.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkq1PyOHjH
And an even louder one inside me.

I had an exam the next morning.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcCV7EJ7oy
An external.

But nothing felt more urgent than that question I couldn’t stop asking:

What matters more—85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYb98gl95X
The present or the future?

Until that night, I never even thought about it.

But that night… I got my answer.

Both matter.

And yet, when forced to choose, we weigh them.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI24dlm5s32
We try to balance what we feel and what we know.

The heart says stay.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLNzGU2uUJ
The mind says go.

One believes.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgHr53NwpI
One doubts.

One clings.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmaSs8BFRmw
One lets go.

And so I waited for her reply.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQxGcO5OYg
But it didn’t come.

Morning came instead.

Same bus.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeh5fKcTo1R
Same college.

But I wasn't the same.

I wore a mask—like always.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1i3f32hRl
Attended the exam.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqMIBQKZ5R
Laughed with friends.85Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6MgP9wYeT
Pretended.

Because that’s what Rudeus is for.

But who could’ve guessed?

That in the evening—

After everything had burned down—

The answer to my confession would finally arrive.

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