THE FOOL. - Hope Was All I Had

There are things… and there are people.

Some I know.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8VH1s1Dou
Some I love.

And somehow, the ones I love… they never stay.

I never asked for much.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvHRwowPCt
Not love. Not promises.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCOD6JoWWac
Just her presence.

But saying goodbye—typing it even—is far easier than living with it.

Because I cared. Deeply.

And now, I don’t know how to remember life before her.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKXolMth87
Before the shared evenings, the bus stops, the laughter, the silences.

Still, I knew I had to let go.

Not for me.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQnU9Z2SDb
For her.

Because if me walking away gives her peace, then I’ll walk.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETxwcDRxlw
Even if it means leaving behind the part of myself I found in her.

But I didn’t want it to end quietly.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3scyEZVCY
I wanted it to hurt, to leave a mark—because that’s what she meant.

And so, I became the villain in my own story.

I decided: if she needs a reason to forget me, I’ll give her one.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwC1J5TMBOZ
A clean break. A wound that heals with time, not confusion.

So I dug out what I buried long ago—31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0bo9uddMD
The confession.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8X3kpvvA8
The one I promised I’d never say.

I poured everything into a message—everything I was, everything we were, and everything I wanted her to be.

And one night, between externals, I confessed.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTiCBd6I4f
Over WhatsApp.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjPd3mNa8d
No buildup. Just heart.

I told her the truth she never asked for.

And I knew the answer.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LB7dpB8o2
Of course I did.

It would be a no—31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MaoDnG4Iy
In the present,31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZlwUXRJle
In the past,31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gC2bSnsYX
And in any faraway future I could imagine.

But she replied:

“I need some time.”

And I said I would wait.

Not because I believed the answer would change—31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7gw2TUJta
But because that’s what confessions are for.

To end things the way they should’ve never begun.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡll1biEMxxs

She asked that if I knew what her answer would be.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg0Mt2ygow6
I replied 49/51.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9dbMn2j5D
Knowing damn well that it was 100% a No.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yCRfbdpNs
31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGUertGrlM
but something deep inside replied with a 49% a Yes.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwM49JALWWy
even it couldn't say Yes a 50%.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6pJLJKb8kF
cause It and I knew from a long time.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOlRxHA4no
31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7SpZNQajD
The externals started.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLg4o1Jwuf0
The rush came back flying.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTtgC1Vmtj
31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMsTZLJGDF
While I was in a war with thoughts.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkk5iQ5L0bP
And as the days went on.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIlsnuiwEd
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One random night, while I waited in silence,31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBUWnP9Mdx
The universe had one more tragedy to give.

Outside my home, I sat alone under the sky—my mind a war zone of logic and hope.

My mother stepped out for a walk, along with Potti—my dog, my companion—and her one and only pup.

The pup didn’t even have a name yet.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPU589ca0y
I was waiting for Seren to name her.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEU8hQ6asC3
But life didn’t wait for names.

Suddenly, a pack of street dogs came rushing.

They attacked—vicious, fast, merciless.

Without thinking, I ran to them—bare hands, bare heart.

I tried.

God, I tried.

Screaming, pushing, shielding Potti and the pup.

But it wasn’t enough.

They bit me, tore into my arms and legs,31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGY1AFMpJb
while I wrapped myself around the ones I loved.

Six dogs.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡquJnMxwtrE
No help.

Until my father and neighbors came rushing.

But by then—

It was too late.

In my arms, Potti lay still—31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pj8FSzVvo
Her fur stained with blood, her neck torn.

The pup, her tiny body broken, missing a leg,31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZJltnIiBg
barely breathing.

We rushed them to the nearest hospital.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IvFd6KItX
Tears finally came after years of holding them back.

But hope was all I carried.

And hope was not enough.

They couldn’t save them.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBHwjeKa05
No one could.

And I was left—31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjggOyaunX
Bloody.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡez13Q9JnBN
Bitten.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCG8P3TzO1
Alone.

A boy with too many wounds—31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8J9EXwdTM
Some you could see.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAzcacFYx5
Most you couldn’t.

I didn’t know what to do.

So, that night, I messaged her.

“Hey, are you awake?”

There was silence in my house.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRFR8sv4sm
And an even louder one inside me.

I had an exam the next morning.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHN61zN9Yac
An external.

But nothing felt more urgent than that question I couldn’t stop asking:

What matters more—31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhTJwBjDw9
The present or the future?

Until that night, I never even thought about it.

But that night… I got my answer.

Both matter.

And yet, when forced to choose, we weigh them.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOBEUELn3c
We try to balance what we feel and what we know.

The heart says stay.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3Ztb4uQ9k
The mind says go.

One believes.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEYWfJmTVQ
One doubts.

One clings.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAHSEnLHZT
One lets go.

And so I waited for her reply.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XJMlPSvuW
But it didn’t come.

Morning came instead.

Same bus.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WuNBbvqol
Same college.

But I wasn't the same.

I wore a mask—like always.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKpowPjEYO
Attended the exam.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRF0wvWJJOh
Laughed with friends.31Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMp6PQDckx
Pretended.

Because that’s what Rudeus is for.

But who could’ve guessed?

That in the evening—

After everything had burned down—

The answer to my confession would finally arrive.

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