I told her once—
"I'll be your confidence."
Because she had always been mine.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuIkiicQmO
From the beginning.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzke7aSdvm
She lit sparks in dull moments.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySbwjWyPxv
Listened when I didn’t even know what I was saying.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR6M9fgLxCE
Talked like every word was music, and I was just lucky to hear it.
So when I saw an internship opportunity from Flipkart — open only for girls —67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRbG9ogNwO
I didn’t hesitate.
I told her.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqcGw63C6e
Knowing full well she might hesitate.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPNXz0lzYP
Because that’s me when it comes to her.
Never missing a chance to be her helping hand.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cWgeHfKYJ
Never wanting her to miss one step toward something better.
She thought about it.
And she said, “Okay.”
The day of the test arrived.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoe3VcD9GI
We planned to meet in the library, afternoon.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48b9ejgc8n
In one of the quiet discussion rooms.
I reached early.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKxtWnXPh2
Maybe because I was eager.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiE3QjXwmxL
Maybe because I thought, somehow, today could fix the cracks.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5fOXV5Ue4
Or at least remind us of how we once were.
I had everything ready: the laptop open, test page preloaded, my heart strangely light.
When she arrived, I gave her my laptop for a while — to finish some English assignment.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4lFGSwBbu
And I took her laptop.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4DHvzMvZn
Told her not to worry about it.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FjUcvr4I3
Told myself it would ease the guilt… the distance.
She smiled.
And it felt like I was doing the right thing.
But then… I did something I can never take back.
Not because I wanted to know who she was texting.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3hdI8LtgE
Not out of jealousy.
But out of that quiet ache —67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAf0hkHJx6
To know if I still existed in her world the way she lived in mine.
I opened her WhatsApp.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ093Fr4vLc9
Typed my own name in the search bar.
What I read…67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74EQkpP69o
Was not what I was ready for.
At first, it made me smile.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMsVOBxx7d
Little mentions.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0ssJsTQWJ
Small memories.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qHJibF4tS
Familiar tones.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TATVDhBsv
But then…67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhMGALf0pC
The words changed.
"I feel awkward around him."67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSvi759kN1
"At last, I feel comfortable talking to someone… than talking to him"
It crushed me.
Like being stabbed by a voice I once trusted to save me.
I wanted to cry.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipwVSA2ttp
But I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
I just stared ahead.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHHMEOSzeL
Acted normal.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdeyQEd1Za
Pretended the world hadn’t just collapsed under my feet.
Because that’s what I do best.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLKKha4QGh
Break in silence.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1slUjsRAPp
Smile with scars.
The test began.
I gave it everything.
Some questions were easy.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYdxqQUEB8
Some weren’t.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYc9GLwKbV
But she never saw the storm behind my calm.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduiWZfWzeO
She didn’t know the war I was fighting in my head as I smiled, as I helped, as I tried to just be a friend.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6SbD6juk1
But I had made a promise.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAaAzfdhcI3
And no matter how broken I was, I never go back on a promise.
Later, as we packed up to leave…67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXqnrBqEli
She noticed something on my laptop.
Her name.
Saved as Stranger.
She asked.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Y6PAl4ytA
But I didn’t answer.
Because how do you explain that someone once felt like home,67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHSbgZTt65
and now they’re just…67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPV8ZTXD74e
an address you can’t return to?
I still see her.
With Ren.
Laughing.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yYwqzgDvC
Talking freely.
No awkwardness.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyb2JvJmkPS
No hesitation.
Everything I ever tried to be for her…67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfbDNH7QuS
he now is.
I never wanted more than friendship.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEOW5AoEZM
But somehow… even that was too much to ask for.
I buried everything — my feelings, thoughts, jealousy, guilt —67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdd7mBQ6dm
over and over.
But no matter how many times I tried to bury it all…67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81Mn3m3cI0
I always ended up the one grieving.
But it never seemed to be enough.
What changed?
Or maybe…67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZf2lDlfFML
nothing ever did.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9K9TdIyYE4
Maybe there was nothing from the start — to change at all.
Now the buses have changed their places again.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIMoPHcTp0
Destiny playing chess with people’s lives.
Alice’s bus — no longer somewhere in between —67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJoszFUElb
now parked neatly alongside Ren’s.
While mine?
Still at the same spot since day one.
Watching.
Waiting.
Trying to understand the stories whispered by the evening wind.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwywqoMvqkc
And the answers it hides in plain sight.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivqraOGvtR
At last,… all these are just words.
Words I wish she heard.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDP7YTmNzye
Words I wish I never said.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQigu6wX4Da
Words I’ll carry long after she forgets them.
Because…67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvv89E7WciX
When I saw those messages, I couldn’t bear to read any further.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5teaMd7mY5
When I sat across from her —67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoBDUGgi8q
And she had no idea that she still trusted me,67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlh6wd4LVe2
While I was doing the very thing I swore, I’d never do.
I broke her trust.67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZxKyP54xv
I betrayed her.
And the worst part?
I still love her enough to hope…67Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡst4NdxSHAH
She never finds out.
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