I told her once—
"I'll be your confidence."
Because she had always been mine.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujvoTI38ik
From the beginning.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkHlOCvS5j
She lit sparks in dull moments.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp07dwjhUJ5
Listened when I didn’t even know what I was saying.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xbcYI0AXG
Talked like every word was music, and I was just lucky to hear it.
So when I saw an internship opportunity from Flipkart — open only for girls —66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KRaodPDrL
I didn’t hesitate.
I told her.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPR1QSrDoox
Knowing full well she might hesitate.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtthjTrDA5
Because that’s me when it comes to her.
Never missing a chance to be her helping hand.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnW3ZA2E4O
Never wanting her to miss one step toward something better.
She thought about it.
And she said, “Okay.”
The day of the test arrived.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zZIHmHjAM
We planned to meet in the library, afternoon.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXC1SxLAMOK
In one of the quiet discussion rooms.
I reached early.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7Mmnki4d0
Maybe because I was eager.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7chnMlGNd
Maybe because I thought, somehow, today could fix the cracks.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZyZRsWkJf
Or at least remind us of how we once were.
I had everything ready: the laptop open, test page preloaded, my heart strangely light.
When she arrived, I gave her my laptop for a while — to finish some English assignment.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiC4IzOZmK
And I took her laptop.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VWJhiCAE5
Told her not to worry about it.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYeALsXBIGW
Told myself it would ease the guilt… the distance.
She smiled.
And it felt like I was doing the right thing.
But then… I did something I can never take back.
Not because I wanted to know who she was texting.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OGVspBQZ9
Not out of jealousy.
But out of that quiet ache —66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8KGd1TO0t
To know if I still existed in her world the way she lived in mine.
I opened her WhatsApp.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmG1Dz7LNHJ
Typed my own name in the search bar.
What I read…66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwwPIukNrt
Was not what I was ready for.
At first, it made me smile.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdddlSKzWYV
Little mentions.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCvCQTb9eX
Small memories.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEibmBk4pR
Familiar tones.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6At5q7UGf
But then…66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKFiLBJwTt
The words changed.
"I feel awkward around him."66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGn3qlZF3v
"At last, I feel comfortable talking to someone… than talking to him"
It crushed me.
Like being stabbed by a voice I once trusted to save me.
I wanted to cry.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTsOtMuMpa
But I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
I just stared ahead.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKRS6JQMbP
Acted normal.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8aNEVqIaN
Pretended the world hadn’t just collapsed under my feet.
Because that’s what I do best.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzMo6C1MGR
Break in silence.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFpGLa2vUPS
Smile with scars.
The test began.
I gave it everything.
Some questions were easy.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBndMNMvDVd
Some weren’t.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbabt1EnhT
But she never saw the storm behind my calm.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDnJi9vohH
She didn’t know the war I was fighting in my head as I smiled, as I helped, as I tried to just be a friend.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLN1arQ6iDs
But I had made a promise.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEmy71yfNP
And no matter how broken I was, I never go back on a promise.
Later, as we packed up to leave…66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVqjTvhlaB
She noticed something on my laptop.
Her name.
Saved as Stranger.
She asked.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEsuCCeJBj
But I didn’t answer.
Because how do you explain that someone once felt like home,66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYS9Z2gonna
and now they’re just…66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGloHMM7zZ
an address you can’t return to?
I still see her.
With Ren.
Laughing.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87jOZJWfcR
Talking freely.
No awkwardness.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbtt7RmBHV
No hesitation.
Everything I ever tried to be for her…66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5e2FhOoIL
he now is.
I never wanted more than friendship.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqunoWPiRjZ
But somehow… even that was too much to ask for.
I buried everything — my feelings, thoughts, jealousy, guilt —66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOc7vpraj1G
over and over.
But no matter how many times I tried to bury it all…66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0XhxZK6V3
I always ended up the one grieving.
But it never seemed to be enough.
What changed?
Or maybe…66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjnogd3yRm
nothing ever did.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0kCykOI0H
Maybe there was nothing from the start — to change at all.
Now the buses have changed their places again.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0aLcFeKNg
Destiny playing chess with people’s lives.
Alice’s bus — no longer somewhere in between —66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnjY8LJkvE
now parked neatly alongside Ren’s.
While mine?
Still at the same spot since day one.
Watching.
Waiting.
Trying to understand the stories whispered by the evening wind.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqcs0g8BLO
And the answers it hides in plain sight.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyAuHO7IWo
At last,… all these are just words.
Words I wish she heard.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYzaBQ4O51
Words I wish I never said.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMD9GQC0G5F
Words I’ll carry long after she forgets them.
Because…66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvcBF65CUm
When I saw those messages, I couldn’t bear to read any further.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHivjjmhiRC
When I sat across from her —66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCQAH4NXpL
And she had no idea that she still trusted me,66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWA2YJQtb66
While I was doing the very thing I swore, I’d never do.
I broke her trust.66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjVbkdOfOn
I betrayed her.
And the worst part?
I still love her enough to hope…66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYhE28z4pf
She never finds out.
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