[1] "This Damn Company's Boss... Is the Goddess's Electronic Pet?!"
Crouched in the ventilation shaft above the CEO's office, Hoshino and I stared down at the "boss" charging below—
His suit split open, revealing a pink rabbit-shaped mechanical core stamped with:148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8j5K7kr53D
[Model: Goddess's Beloved Pet #996148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4AORhnbHX
Functions: Faith Extraction / Employee Brainwashing / Automatic Frisbee Fetching]
"Three hundred years ago..." Hoshino's voice trembled, "that woman said she wanted 'a healing pet'... and this is what she made?!"
My familiar wriggled through the duct, its phone screen lighting up with the unlocked "Goddess Cloud Drive":148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcSdOBX9IR
"Your Majesty! Found the blackmail files! Just ¥500 to—"148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7fSkBJx9J
"BUY IT!!" we shouted in unison.
[2] Blackmail File 001: The Goddess Can't Actually Code
The first decompressed file:148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxoTBok1Tf6
[Heaven System Source Code (Annotated)]
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWcAdMsaTv
def exploit_humans(): 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhRezPdcAN
if employee.emotion == "despair": 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jqlgqqZZk
print("Work hard! Heaven awaits next year!") # LIES. No such feature. 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVmJ6CiNtV
else: 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡildNkJlBfW
activate("holy_gaslighting_module") # NOTE: Outsourced to Hell.
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJnBwMsVIn
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZ66kpanTw
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1YG0gQThn
"Hold up!" I yanked my familiar's tail. "Since when did demons take these kinds of jobs?!"148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLgxdV2UeZ
Hoshino deadpanned: "Remember? You said, 'Let’s earn side income from Goddess contracts'..."
[3] Blackmail File 007: Holy Swords Are Just Plungers
A leaked video played—148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4l7n35J2O
Younger Goddess haggled at a heavenly hardware store:148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZo2O2QIqe
"Just plate this toilet plunger in gold, add LED lights... Yeah, make it look like a 'Holy Sword'!"148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnCnaBJ4VF
Clerk: "You still owe us for turning the Roomba into 'angel halos'..."
Hoshino’s sword flickered like faulty Christmas lights.148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhKRwOQntU
"No wonder..." she monotone’d, "it keeps showing 'Low Battery' when I stab you."
[4] Company-Wide Riot! When the Wage Slaves Learn the Truth
The moment we mass-emailed the blackmail files, chaos erupted—
Accounting Dept. folded overtime forms into paper airplanes bombarding the CEO's office.
IT Dept. hacked the "faith conversion" backend, setting everyone’s "ascension progress" to 100%.
Janitor Auntie charged the coffee machine with a mop: "My daughter’s overwork data was in THIS?!"
"Now!" Hoshino flung off her HR badge. "Go dismantle that 'pet rabbit' and reclaim your Demon Core—"
Alarms blared:148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJUsLwhuGK
[WARNING: Mass Awakening Detected. Initiating FINAL PROTOCOL: Full System Reset.]
Ceiling panels shattered, unleashing chains that lashed toward employees. The rabbit CEO’s eyes glowed blood-red:148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1eMr6DAGa
"Naughty workers... become batteries~❤"
[5] Demon King & Hero’s Ultimate Fusion Move (Literal)
"Five seconds!" Hoshino tossed me her holy sword. "Channel your dark energy into it—"148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivwjkE0dQE
The hilt scorched my palm: "This thing isn’t dark-magic-compatible?!"148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9h2d5VltT
"Shut up!" She gripped my sword-hand. "Our ceasefire pact said '50% holy, 50% dark'—"
The blade erupted in gold-and-black lightning. My familiar livestreamed:148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTGGnxTH7A
"Ladies and gentlemen! Presenting the legendary combo move officially named—"
『S O C I A L D E A T H S L A S H』!!!
ns216.73.217.1da2
然後按「加至主畫面」