[1] "This Damn Company's Boss... Is the Goddess's Electronic Pet?!"
Crouched in the ventilation shaft above the CEO's office, Hoshino and I stared down at the "boss" charging below—
His suit split open, revealing a pink rabbit-shaped mechanical core stamped with:29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXtfn2dLvh
[Model: Goddess's Beloved Pet #99629Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bDK0hXMn0
Functions: Faith Extraction / Employee Brainwashing / Automatic Frisbee Fetching]
"Three hundred years ago..." Hoshino's voice trembled, "that woman said she wanted 'a healing pet'... and this is what she made?!"
My familiar wriggled through the duct, its phone screen lighting up with the unlocked "Goddess Cloud Drive":29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9hDyV8zss
"Your Majesty! Found the blackmail files! Just ¥500 to—"29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxP4kE5w2xs
"BUY IT!!" we shouted in unison.
[2] Blackmail File 001: The Goddess Can't Actually Code
The first decompressed file:29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTADSLlNdI
[Heaven System Source Code (Annotated)]
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4G6cd3UpT
def exploit_humans(): 29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8qi07xbyx
if employee.emotion == "despair": 29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1u8S50cca
print("Work hard! Heaven awaits next year!") # LIES. No such feature. 29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4AvG0LgY7F
else: 29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWqTn2MBFD
activate("holy_gaslighting_module") # NOTE: Outsourced to Hell.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMe6qJMUBa
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZRreXlKEq
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdD53qQnPZH
"Hold up!" I yanked my familiar's tail. "Since when did demons take these kinds of jobs?!"29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BJt8l3B0N
Hoshino deadpanned: "Remember? You said, 'Let’s earn side income from Goddess contracts'..."
[3] Blackmail File 007: Holy Swords Are Just Plungers
A leaked video played—29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3eRwxMbVm
Younger Goddess haggled at a heavenly hardware store:29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWS97YWNsJ
"Just plate this toilet plunger in gold, add LED lights... Yeah, make it look like a 'Holy Sword'!"29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9Gh8AVk3K
Clerk: "You still owe us for turning the Roomba into 'angel halos'..."
Hoshino’s sword flickered like faulty Christmas lights.29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAwg5X30qg
"No wonder..." she monotone’d, "it keeps showing 'Low Battery' when I stab you."
[4] Company-Wide Riot! When the Wage Slaves Learn the Truth
The moment we mass-emailed the blackmail files, chaos erupted—
Accounting Dept. folded overtime forms into paper airplanes bombarding the CEO's office.
IT Dept. hacked the "faith conversion" backend, setting everyone’s "ascension progress" to 100%.
Janitor Auntie charged the coffee machine with a mop: "My daughter’s overwork data was in THIS?!"
"Now!" Hoshino flung off her HR badge. "Go dismantle that 'pet rabbit' and reclaim your Demon Core—"
Alarms blared:29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ666pRbhPdL
[WARNING: Mass Awakening Detected. Initiating FINAL PROTOCOL: Full System Reset.]
Ceiling panels shattered, unleashing chains that lashed toward employees. The rabbit CEO’s eyes glowed blood-red:29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4qUy57p6Ul
"Naughty workers... become batteries~❤"
[5] Demon King & Hero’s Ultimate Fusion Move (Literal)
"Five seconds!" Hoshino tossed me her holy sword. "Channel your dark energy into it—"29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7VttcepHk
The hilt scorched my palm: "This thing isn’t dark-magic-compatible?!"29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMVAeGYnbB
"Shut up!" She gripped my sword-hand. "Our ceasefire pact said '50% holy, 50% dark'—"
The blade erupted in gold-and-black lightning. My familiar livestreamed:29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHwyip5wku
"Ladies and gentlemen! Presenting the legendary combo move officially named—"
『S O C I A L D E A T H S L A S H』!!!
ns3.16.48.173da2
然後按「加至主畫面」