After Retirement, the Demon King Became an Office Worker (and Hates Mondays) - Brace Yourselves, the "Cosmic Confidential" is Out, and the Demon Lord and Hero's Skeletons Are Danc

[1] "SHOCKING! Demon King & Hero's 'Contract Marriage' Exposed?!"

The Three Realms Tabloid headline screamed above a blurry photo of the "Demon King and Hero signing documents at midnight."

Exclusive Details:160Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsTmY7WoBF
"Per anonymous angel source, Ludwig and Hoshino Akira allegedly signed a Fake Marriage Contract, including:160Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOJzhnnpAg
✅ Minimum 3 "couple streams" monthly (penalty: 100M Hell Coins)160Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOubkLzXSjx
✅ No holy sword/dark magic brawls in public160Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3p5lSrRXO
✅ Hotpot must be split-spicy (violators wash dishes for 300 years)"

Me (Demon King), hurling the newspaper: "This was us signing the Anti-Goddess Alliance!!"160Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XyLKscSFf
Hoshino, icy calm: "Wrong focus—" She pointed to the fine print:160Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodb6vq2UXi
"Source: Former Goddess · Current Convenience Store Clerk"

[2] Goddess’ Paparazzi Side Hustle & Familiar’s Media Empire

In the convenience store surveillance room, the Goddess snooped on celebrities with her "Holy Surveillance Goggles":

Otaku Demon secretly built a "Goddess Mockery Park" in Animal Crossing: Hell (complete with bunny-ear statue)
Three-Headed Hound Union traded "Overwork Insurance" (beneficiaries: themselves)
Demon King & Hero "sharing instant noodles" in the break room (!)

Goddess, grinning: "This noodle pic’s worth 5M Hell Coins to Celestial Gossip Weekly, right?"160Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2J10UOCkD
Suddenly, the familiar dropped from the vent with a business card:160Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EU68PDdFQ
"CEO of Three Realms TMZ here! Want to be a freelance journalist? Salary: 30 spicy strips + shock collar deactivation rights!"

[3] Leaked: "Hot Springs ‘Business Retreat’" Scandal!

Special Report:160Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKa7A7ZAPl
"Demon King & Hero’s ‘Work Trip’ Truth!"160Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JvZgZ7Asd
Exclusive Photos:

Photo 1: Their weapons (holy sword & demon staff) towel-covered in the mixed bath
Photo 2: A single bed (pillows with claw marks)
Photo 3: Familiar’s door sign: "Do Not Disturb (Negotiations Ongoing)"

Hoshino, dialing furiously: "You photoshopped this?!"160Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRib0zo19Of
Goddess: "Nope. You two just suck at hiding."

[4] Damage Control Livestream Gone Wrong

Me, reading script: "Regarding rumors, HR Director Hoshino and I maintain a strictly professional—"160Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVLls2u4eA
Chat spam:160Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaNm4V7ik6
[Lava PM: Your tie matches her hairclip!]160Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2MtPTt3zc
[Celestial IRS: Contract marriage violates Heaven’s Bigamy Act!]160Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrcKSar4z8
[Goddess: 1M Hell Coins unlocks hot springs audio!]

Hoshino, snatching the mic: "Fine. You want proof?!"160Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3j2hvUNUZ9
She slammed a 300-year-old Ceasefire Agreement on the desk, its final clause:160Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Dgl6W1ktt
"Should both parties survive to peacetime, Ludwig must fulfill promise: Treat Akira to 10 hotpot meals (spicy level: her choice)."

Silence.160Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1XfoCAX0x
Familiar, whispering: "Is this... a ship confirmation?"

ns216.73.216.206da2

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