Who am I?
This question trills through my mind every second of the day.
For 23 years of my life, I used to be a follower—a good child to my sensitive family.

I was a husband to my mother and a son to my father—except for the duty of being a daughter to my mother.

I had forgotten my dreams. It felt like sacrificing myself just for my family.
But I couldn’t continue down that path, so I decided to choose myself for the first time and try to do something for me.

I came to Germany from a faraway country to study and find myself.
It’s been a year here in this beautiful city,
but I feel like I’m stuck.
I don’t know what I want.
I’m lost and filled with anger toward everything.

I used to sacrifice my dreams, but now—though I no longer want that—I’m still drowning in it...
I want to have a dream.
Have a goal.
Try to achieve it...
But I can’t.

When I open my eyes, I don’t know what I want.
I know I want to want something—but what?

In the silence of night, in the darkness,
I’m alone, trying to dream,
but my mind can’t seem to dream...

But I’m here,
after a long journey,
that I’ll write in tiny, minuscule parts...