業渚 - 【業渚】捉迷藏　16

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盛夏過後氣候入秋，白日逐漸縮短，夜幕升起的時間加快，到家時尚不及六點，然夕陽幾乎快要消逝。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSptAgaGrd
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跨入家門口前，回頭放眼身後，橘紅一線壓在地平線，再過幾分黑夜就要完全吞沒。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9sO1UmWfj
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逢魔時刻，他是個幸運不被神隱的孩子。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64NSP02pbq
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紫黑藍的天空星星一閃一閃點上，彷彿小王子離別玫瑰花後，獨自在繁星眾多的宇宙旅行遇到的點燈人，按表操課，規矩燃起照亮夜裡道路的明星。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnzRbZI1N5
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收回眼，暮靄沉沉的闇色裡，老家燈火通明。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPjhLUHcSm
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他要推開門時聞到從廚房那方位傳來陣陣香味，有高湯的，有燉煮的，間或還有很細微的油熱聲。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHlqg2pAdX
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種種跡象表明母親正大費周章的準備晚餐。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUzxQJfP9q
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一股熟悉又陌生的氛圍侵襲了他感知，他不由得想起某個時期，那是中學時，比起早餐或午餐，母親更加重視晚餐，每日他回家推開門，往往是母親正在廚房忙碌的時刻。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwApj87Jeo
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銘刻於記憶的熟悉使他震顫，理了理心緒不寧，潮田渚呼吸幾口氣，作足準備，才將鑰匙插入鎖孔，轉開家門。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDXgKaVnFpm
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「小渚，回來了啊？你今天睡的地方我已經整理好了。」父親抱著貓正走下樓梯，見是他，笑問「但是，去的有點久呢，不是只去買些東西嗎？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFQEGD3sVC
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他恍然想起自己出門的確是買個小東西，大概是今日一天遭遇的事情太多，竟忘了打電話回家說明。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcviSzAlDsi
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「在路上剛好碰到業君，買好東西之後，我們就去吃了個飯。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7goyqmqZcw
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「原來是遇到赤羽君啊。」父親了然地點點頭「他還好嗎？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Jv8liawTZ
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普通家庭究竟是怎樣對待自己孩子的朋友呢？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpsrSriUtJ
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潮田渚承認，他完全無從描摹，雖然他已經擔任教職數年，在家庭教育這塊他始終不敢也不願去觸碰。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHMd8M9sn2
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那是他人的私領域，一旦涉入，究竟界線在哪，饒是他也無法抓準——何況，他原生家庭距離社會上說的正常家庭相去甚遠。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhExqPJNB1
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只是，此刻聽著父親那問句，他想大概就是所謂一般家庭對在自己孩子的朋友的態度——雖則，他無從確認父親是否還有與業聯繫。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHs3SSNRZOI
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中學最後兩個月，他借住在業的家裡是因為父親致電過去請託——當時，母親對他成績異常扭曲的執著已經嚴重侵害到他的生命甚至他未來，而他不清楚自己是否還能繼續承受異常的母親而不崩潰。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8c6gLfTiu
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他暫住於業家那兩個月，幾乎每日，父親都會打電話給業詢問他的狀況，業的彙報（業沒有特別注意不讓他聽到，也許就是想讓他聽見家人對他的關心）不外乎是「沒事。」「今天他很好。」「今天我們一起做蛋包飯，您下次可以讓渚給您做做看，渚君很厲害。」「您不用擔心，我有注意他睡眠。」之類尋常的內容。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhend5jdLD6
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雪村老師與殺老師也曉得母親在那個雨夜對他所作的事情——後來他才曉得，殺老師很早就清楚他會去業家學習並住下，如此才可以說明為何殺老師在看向業的眼神中帶著其他意味——那兩個月格外注意他的情緒。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB91zUJ0nFs
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該稱為不幸還是萬幸？擁有那樣家庭，卻也擁有這樣關心他的人，得以讓他心不破碎。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XXEJeEX0R
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「業君很好，今天我們聊不少。他說他想回來休息，所以請了不短的長假，所以這幾天都在這裡。」想到什麼，他又補充「對了，業君說明天請我到他家裡吃個便飯，我不確定幾點回來，請媽媽明天先不用幫我準備飯菜了。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamJA4FNZRt
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「這樣啊，要去業君家吃飯嗎？」父親露出笑容「我會跟廣海說明的，渚不用操心。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl30Qq5LACZ
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晚餐時，父親跟母親說了明日他要出門的預定，母親聽了沒表示什麼，應該是同意了——事實上到他高中畢業前，即使業各方面表現都十分優秀，母親對業仍頗有微詞，大概是因中學的事情，對業依然餘恨未消。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEsKOMZ3Xw
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飯後洗過澡，吹乾頭髮，他渾身疲累地躺在鋪好的床上，棉被味道鬆軟，枕頭滿佈陽光況味，聞著聞著就昏昏欲睡。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdzi1TifKL
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將睡入睡之際，耳裡依稀有些幻聽。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJClXj5HhQ6
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『你叫渚啊，那就是小渚囉。』40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM49ZSdW12G
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『對了，我剛剛就很好奇，為什麼你留著一頭長髮？有什麼特殊信仰嗎？』40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraG4mCkW8z
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『是這樣啊。』40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUGB3o2ts2
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『不過，我覺得你可以剪得清爽一些，說不定會招來些許幸運喔。』40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaA97OhHra
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業絕對沒有想過吧？開學那一天他和他說的那些話，霎那讓他視野開闊，靈魂嗅到自由的芬芳。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHUXmTwro8
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父親還未調任到遠地單身赴任時，母親對他的掌控欲還不是那麼強烈，然而小學六年級父親隻身前往工作地點後，母親便無所不極的將過去的失敗投射在他身上，沒日沒夜逼迫他走向她規定的一切，從頭髮長度到學習，稍有不如意，便是口口聲聲愛他為了他好的惡言相向地朝他數落。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJAJckpZkZ
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人的視野決定生命的格局，中學時期，他的世界只有母親的眾多要求，每日他像快溺水，不斷泅泳於無盡底處的水中，他聽見水浪拍打，也看見遠方萬里無雲，可連一個供歇息的小島都尋覓不著。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPIrMYVo2w
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在他理科成績不見起色被編入Ｅ班之後，母親像更是瘋了一樣讀了無數研究報告，如果報告指出某種學習捷徑，母親必定拿他作實驗。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHa8bCUom7n
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母親對他掌控令他彷彿陷入名為「潮田渚」的牢籠中，待在那裡看似很安全無虞，然而他無思可緒，亦無處可去。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLI4Evyv6CZ
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他一直都畏懼回家路途，總是在學校教室待著拖踏著時間，能夠晚一些回家，他就會感覺到輕鬆一些——即使明知這樣根本無法解決，卻也不敢離家出走，母親認為同儕會影響他學習，自小嚴格篩選他可以交往的對象，結果就是他沒有任何朋友，大家給他安上多是安靜軟弱好欺侮的孩子形象。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrzga0QEX1
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他沒有任何可以說話的朋友，所以，假如他遠離應該是避風港的家，他連下一步何去何從都無法想像。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQILnH6M6V
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赤羽業卻出現在他生命中，一如夜裡抬頭所見指引方向的明星，碎裂了他以為牢不可摧的監牢，讓他得以想像籠外雖然淒風苦雨，但處處充滿希望的世界。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aqijv1vqD
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他是聽過赤羽業名字的，一個二年Ａ班成績出類拔萃但經常鬧事，令校內老師們聞之無不搖頭興歎的麻煩人物，且是永遠不可能與自己產生任何交集的——前段班與後段班的學生連教室都不同，碰見的機率趨近於零。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9eazwU6JnK
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潮田渚從未想過，日後他們將以那樣尷尬的方式認識彼此。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPHI13uYv6
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宛如神蹟，又如安排好的惡作劇。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcoGi705mF
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可無論如何，業確實是他無盡荒蕪的生命裡偶然遇會的燈火，在櫻花漫天飛舞中，領著他走出靜寂闃夜，更讓他明白自己就是自己，不是父母手裡捏塑的人偶。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihKIM0QN90
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業讓他的視野開闊，也同時讓他察覺到不該察覺的事物。他這一輩子，都會把那祕密當作寶物，藏在內心深處，不讓任何人找著，玩著一場不告予人知曉的捉迷藏。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO49D0PTrJr
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