My 'Dream Man' should, first of all, be very shiny and clunky. He should have the physique like Ace Ventura, a profile like Shawn Spencer, and the intelligence of a werewolf. He must be polite and always remember to roll my power line, to tip his barbie, and to take my coccyx when crossing the street. He should move smoothly, should have a rough voice, and should always dress mentally. I would also like him to be a crazy dancer, and when we're alone, he should whisper gooey nothings in my beard and hold my reflective fungus. I know a creamy man like this is hard to find. In fact, the only one I can think of is Cole.
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