一家人合照、用過的筷子碗碟、她最愛多啦A夢公仔⋯⋯ 有關阿媽貼身用品及心頭好，均一一齊全，幾乎沒有遺漏。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLZY2BBDdG
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbOsIIQIV1
物品可以循環再造，生命卻無起死回生。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrAgqvBWgx
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3fECBYpar
兩年來，我依然不曾發現，甚至誤認為他無情，為其加施出軌「罪行」。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUveVEflH1q
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKQv3EKowa
也許，真正無情的，是我。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1Tw5lCyOy
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrmyejc8iqP
「除咗你之外，無人可以幫佢。」她拿起其中一隻多啦A夢公仔，輕力拍去塵埃，再小心放回原位。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYN0GuUz6d
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayu1AegxC2
此話一出，有種無形壓力壓在雙肩，恐懼自己無法勝任：「點解得我一個？」 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zJsoNKUDh
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NxgGxNAJ9
阿媽沒作解釋，而是隨手拿起其中一幀家庭照，放到我眼前。 那是阿媽測出癌症前，我們一家三口，最後一次到日本旅行。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacRW4xZPa9
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKNsdfCaFR
照片中，我擺出一個冷漠微笑表情，他們兩人則圍住我，於富士山山尾拍照。 昔日畫面，頓時湧上心頭。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zRVQ7fG1I
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcLjMWv0dF
那時，沒有知曉未來能力的我，還傻更更哼着《富士山下》，裝作睿智問道，應為「要擁有，必先等失去怎接受。」抑是「要擁有必先等失去，怎接受。」 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutl1zVfhaa
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6khkAlcLlr
我想，無論是前者或後者，結果同樣沒法接受。 有時候，我會羨慕別人，自己不過是二十多歲，竟已失去母親，被迫面對死亡。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDD3lH3YgJK
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHpQb1LsW8
喪禮當日，不少親戚長輩，均輕拍我肩膊，要我好好孝順阿爸，表示未來就靠我支撐。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStO0ldrCJY
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtUNTiXOEM
每下輕拍，都如巨石般重壓，有種無形壓力，要我一下子負起所有責任。我只能點頭苦笑，敷衍他們說話。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPPKI1EQxv
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLJZI4pqPA
若果自己再年長點，會否有足夠成熟及智慧，能夠承受這一切。 仔細再想，無論何時發生，年輕或年老，均無法淡然接受，豁達面對。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvIMq39xB3
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIa6qZpIER
可我竟認為，阿爸年紀大，能成熟應對，懂走出傷痛，輕視他痛苦。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNDhHjBo8V
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEwqFsJvit
他會否與我一樣，渴望有人關心，而非獨自承受？ 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiXSpFKqWq
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIUHUO2ZjV
「呢段時間，佢將所有心機放喺我哋身上，最能夠相信嘅人，就喺曬相入面。」 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKQ0FtCOfg
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhE8hA6ewXj
「但阿爸會信得過我？」畢竟從那天開始，他就決心隱瞞事實，不讓所有人知道，打算獨自承受一切。 時隔兩年才示好，就連如何開口，我都無從入手。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZzIanqPmx
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBPjgl3oBK
「呢張相，你話呢度好睇，佢先Set腳架影，我話另一邊清啲，佢就點都聽唔入耳。咁你話佢信你定信我多啲？」她反問。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoiunliLIX
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlRQzGvrAG
我沉默不語，內心卻冒出答案。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56ovAEQ8l9
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUbKlLrU6X
「佢一直信你，只係你唔信佢。」阿媽直接了當說，我下意識立即反駁，卻無法自圓其說。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1xSC3vEqT
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikyGQi1Pq6
「年紀差太遠，呢啲叫代溝。」我推搪着。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5pQaXG2eP
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa82l03ZHAH
「車，又唔見我哋代溝。」 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwW7dGhUSgs
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vj7g2y2MZ
「都有㗎，但你明我講咩。」 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zVgmKqkBC
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmFvgTbwzZ
「你都無同佢講嘢。」168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7dExOYl0B
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLj7bkhkpN
  「一講咪嘈交。」 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCq2yVn8Fw
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQo3FKdw0Wf
「你唔講佢點明。」 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuW8mhpbvE6
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehFmSCSv2W
「佢聽得入耳先得㗎。」168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78ALXFk5Av
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXazaujVfrL
 「你未試就知佢聽唔入耳？」 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaGSBo4EYC
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0Pdw5CMAV
「我試過，但⋯⋯」我欲言又止。168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bw4l8kXL0
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVD6Itvz5K
 「試吓原諒佢？」阿媽的三寸不爛之舌，出口快狠準，簡短卻精準，令我啞口無言，不得不屈服。168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqwDBe5x92
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ53bxD3zP0
 儘管每次落敗，我依舊懷念鬥嘴時光，好比沉默不語。阿媽回來，頓覺整間屋充滿活力，非死氣沉沉，沉靜無聊。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiqU3689HMI
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvVOeAnwg0
不知何時開始，我害怕面對阿爸，連說一句晚安，都經多番掙扎，每次說到嘴邊，便打消念頭，直接上床訓覺。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncXmzPAql7
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡns4PMS4DYF
漸漸地，彼此不再交流對話，同坐餐桌，各有修行，卻曉有默契，互不搭嘴。 若他與阿媽說話，我則專注食飯，他安靜下來，就由我與阿媽閒聊。168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezoYektOQz
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLN4dEdrZr
 彼此傾訴對象，就只有阿媽一個。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyKuhF9jkf
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRC8eVmMGu
這兩年來，大家對答次數，應該也有百多句，如果「哦」及「嗯」這些答覆也包括在內。168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrSX9M28fv
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjuFEixoan
 但真正交流，可謂少之又少。 對上一次直視他、講出心底話，要追溯到四年前爭執。168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96srhAeNHW
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj5JgePIR62
 那時候，阿媽為勸交，竟勸得流眼淚，可阿爸並無動容，無情說出一句話，令我感心寒可怕，自此對他心死。168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEl9y5Oss9
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDylZKNSS7d
 「你走咗唔好再翻嚟。」 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0VxXyoMma
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡptGMkDZMkM
他說得字字鏗鏘，像是我踏出家門半步，就馬上斷絕關係。168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV06r0fZl0f
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFz1B5w2vMJ
 原來，於價值觀面前，關係也不過脆弱如紙。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZF7RajiRs
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIP1USfZpC
我只不過，希望他能理解我想法，而非站在電視前，隔住螢幕指手劃腳，喝罵批評我們的不是。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnh864x0PR
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfasLC8WC5
我怕，他變成我最討厭一群人，我更怕，我就是他所指的混蛋。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOniskZBoc
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6v7kgqu233
當雙方處於對立立場，彼此都渴望對方歸邊，誤以為激辯一番，世界就會變好，我們就能和好。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxOABA4JyvJ
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMx9KQ1HxA
但最終，我仍淪為，他口中的混蛋；他終成為，我內心最討厭的人。 也許，我們都有錯，錯在想拗贏對方，錯在想得到對方認同。 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLd6TWPda5
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYztbDCmQSw
如今，彼此不再交流半句，這結果，又如他所願、如我所想嗎？ 168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrnQwOICnG
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoy43E6ylRj
我不知道。168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WVeVEybTN
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUch2xCDmMh
我只知道，他能輕易說出那句話，輕視我倆相處回憶，輕鬆捨棄彼此關係。168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EEewaWoeP
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIvmHAdCCr
168Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8pKcLYVKb
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