一家人合照、用過的筷子碗碟、她最愛多啦A夢公仔⋯⋯ 有關阿媽貼身用品及心頭好，均一一齊全，幾乎沒有遺漏。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2jZMyvf6a
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlEqQ6GFbz
物品可以循環再造，生命卻無起死回生。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczfPZXGrn0
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TV3JlS1Fy
兩年來，我依然不曾發現，甚至誤認為他無情，為其加施出軌「罪行」。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0DzXBOyyd
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHoxLjzIjrw
也許，真正無情的，是我。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZZoTI3IvE
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPpZpXX23C
「除咗你之外，無人可以幫佢。」她拿起其中一隻多啦A夢公仔，輕力拍去塵埃，再小心放回原位。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTrL41SYlp
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduL1piXbVx
此話一出，有種無形壓力壓在雙肩，恐懼自己無法勝任：「點解得我一個？」 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9Ccl94Jrv
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRpjCdQu0Z
阿媽沒作解釋，而是隨手拿起其中一幀家庭照，放到我眼前。 那是阿媽測出癌症前，我們一家三口，最後一次到日本旅行。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMIh37kEgM
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVxoL7IvGf
照片中，我擺出一個冷漠微笑表情，他們兩人則圍住我，於富士山山尾拍照。 昔日畫面，頓時湧上心頭。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhoHll8HpE
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhQlUXHfFr
那時，沒有知曉未來能力的我，還傻更更哼着《富士山下》，裝作睿智問道，應為「要擁有，必先等失去怎接受。」抑是「要擁有必先等失去，怎接受。」 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8p3xjXZMjS
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbSw445aET
我想，無論是前者或後者，結果同樣沒法接受。 有時候，我會羨慕別人，自己不過是二十多歲，竟已失去母親，被迫面對死亡。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcdIQxIOcX
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfac0LcDfWG
喪禮當日，不少親戚長輩，均輕拍我肩膊，要我好好孝順阿爸，表示未來就靠我支撐。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5OZ83HuLU
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79TwPgg4Qu
每下輕拍，都如巨石般重壓，有種無形壓力，要我一下子負起所有責任。我只能點頭苦笑，敷衍他們說話。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjNQDItDc3
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHF0E8ehM1
若果自己再年長點，會否有足夠成熟及智慧，能夠承受這一切。 仔細再想，無論何時發生，年輕或年老，均無法淡然接受，豁達面對。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gtRuEqD17
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNVBdEQbY7
可我竟認為，阿爸年紀大，能成熟應對，懂走出傷痛，輕視他痛苦。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbv5aY69FJ
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvHj7Edtzf
他會否與我一樣，渴望有人關心，而非獨自承受？ 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rbCGYFKlm
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFIDuLKiSY
「呢段時間，佢將所有心機放喺我哋身上，最能夠相信嘅人，就喺曬相入面。」 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyz7PN2wkTf
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6vT34HMf3
「但阿爸會信得過我？」畢竟從那天開始，他就決心隱瞞事實，不讓所有人知道，打算獨自承受一切。 時隔兩年才示好，就連如何開口，我都無從入手。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaX0MelHd6j
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLCx2yuKHC
「呢張相，你話呢度好睇，佢先Set腳架影，我話另一邊清啲，佢就點都聽唔入耳。咁你話佢信你定信我多啲？」她反問。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJurnScHMnT
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmADzwAHcZu
我沉默不語，內心卻冒出答案。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZVe0Pc3y0
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyOy93Y9CP
「佢一直信你，只係你唔信佢。」阿媽直接了當說，我下意識立即反駁，卻無法自圓其說。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcbtf8OMUW
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybm8mbP4ET
「年紀差太遠，呢啲叫代溝。」我推搪着。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJIV21PYYE
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5kXu3xYtm
「車，又唔見我哋代溝。」 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmiMUJB4nM
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtUw80ASY5
「都有㗎，但你明我講咩。」 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHankuEIHc
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBKnTFRQA5
「你都無同佢講嘢。」149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGAuKQzNF3
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzi1mkw5sB
  「一講咪嘈交。」 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7by6B0weey
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvR4vTJkP8J
「你唔講佢點明。」 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78Rmrmst1R
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrmxUiT6d5
「佢聽得入耳先得㗎。」149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SEdYebTKK
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhq27MmxDT
 「你未試就知佢聽唔入耳？」 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qThDhCoSk
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlKNm05lGy
「我試過，但⋯⋯」我欲言又止。149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcb1aiBl6f4
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHz72UbX9Dn
 「試吓原諒佢？」阿媽的三寸不爛之舌，出口快狠準，簡短卻精準，令我啞口無言，不得不屈服。149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0OasmvXVS
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3a0smEDt4K
 儘管每次落敗，我依舊懷念鬥嘴時光，好比沉默不語。阿媽回來，頓覺整間屋充滿活力，非死氣沉沉，沉靜無聊。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlwot95xv0
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qd9jkOqHT
不知何時開始，我害怕面對阿爸，連說一句晚安，都經多番掙扎，每次說到嘴邊，便打消念頭，直接上床訓覺。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21bdSj4PfK
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1CUVHreOH
漸漸地，彼此不再交流對話，同坐餐桌，各有修行，卻曉有默契，互不搭嘴。 若他與阿媽說話，我則專注食飯，他安靜下來，就由我與阿媽閒聊。149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkczhPSJFQ
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LYqEaag8x
 彼此傾訴對象，就只有阿媽一個。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIKXSxQUvY
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTRA6OltGY
這兩年來，大家對答次數，應該也有百多句，如果「哦」及「嗯」這些答覆也包括在內。149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AuupcaWDg
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqOy3XpMOz
 但真正交流，可謂少之又少。 對上一次直視他、講出心底話，要追溯到四年前爭執。149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfbXGnEMeV
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTNodWpAOo
 那時候，阿媽為勸交，竟勸得流眼淚，可阿爸並無動容，無情說出一句話，令我感心寒可怕，自此對他心死。149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkBwLhoX8G
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRp7ffmbBoz
 「你走咗唔好再翻嚟。」 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4NmHu39v0
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzenNE6sTN2
他說得字字鏗鏘，像是我踏出家門半步，就馬上斷絕關係。149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmxRk1iahh
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CavKI0L0B
 原來，於價值觀面前，關係也不過脆弱如紙。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpRY6kXqQs
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RDeQmB8Mr
我只不過，希望他能理解我想法，而非站在電視前，隔住螢幕指手劃腳，喝罵批評我們的不是。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbATBeB8qK
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbyiSyaKGU
我怕，他變成我最討厭一群人，我更怕，我就是他所指的混蛋。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVjIbVBj0z
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fXLwp564L
當雙方處於對立立場，彼此都渴望對方歸邊，誤以為激辯一番，世界就會變好，我們就能和好。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fDCZI8vpX
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3lpY5WUiO
但最終，我仍淪為，他口中的混蛋；他終成為，我內心最討厭的人。 也許，我們都有錯，錯在想拗贏對方，錯在想得到對方認同。 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvizb2AgA2y
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2elN3FcyZ
如今，彼此不再交流半句，這結果，又如他所願、如我所想嗎？ 149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQ1Iy0B5pF
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROmsKA0jVM
我不知道。149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7Azlcd7jB
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoPjYDOeQE
我只知道，他能輕易說出那句話，輕視我倆相處回憶，輕鬆捨棄彼此關係。149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FWbjVxEa2
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkB0J70wW5Z
149Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbO5wzwwf8
8964 copyright protection145ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVYjFnwEHv 維尼

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