一家人合照、用過的筷子碗碟、她最愛多啦A夢公仔⋯⋯ 有關阿媽貼身用品及心頭好，均一一齊全，幾乎沒有遺漏。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKQuIOejtG
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbijMMoVqNP
物品可以循環再造，生命卻無起死回生。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJK8SdE09jZ
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgOIwD8yQw
兩年來，我依然不曾發現，甚至誤認為他無情，為其加施出軌「罪行」。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48er8i2axQ
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaOQbcmG9c
也許，真正無情的，是我。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡks8UCi8FTA
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeFCanAEN2
「除咗你之外，無人可以幫佢。」她拿起其中一隻多啦A夢公仔，輕力拍去塵埃，再小心放回原位。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJonYc7df8u
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPno1JTc46F
此話一出，有種無形壓力壓在雙肩，恐懼自己無法勝任：「點解得我一個？」 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33iYSqJR1s
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuaz8gz0e0M
阿媽沒作解釋，而是隨手拿起其中一幀家庭照，放到我眼前。 那是阿媽測出癌症前，我們一家三口，最後一次到日本旅行。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpeI6TStyb
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISGFeoXPsm
照片中，我擺出一個冷漠微笑表情，他們兩人則圍住我，於富士山山尾拍照。 昔日畫面，頓時湧上心頭。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtP0tg5di8p
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ060seeaUbs
那時，沒有知曉未來能力的我，還傻更更哼着《富士山下》，裝作睿智問道，應為「要擁有，必先等失去怎接受。」抑是「要擁有必先等失去，怎接受。」 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOWIqe7TlD
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmhf8lbr0J
我想，無論是前者或後者，結果同樣沒法接受。 有時候，我會羨慕別人，自己不過是二十多歲，竟已失去母親，被迫面對死亡。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYx013tIe9
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRCuwckE29
喪禮當日，不少親戚長輩，均輕拍我肩膊，要我好好孝順阿爸，表示未來就靠我支撐。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2ZmHa8XAM
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxFUH0GhBt
每下輕拍，都如巨石般重壓，有種無形壓力，要我一下子負起所有責任。我只能點頭苦笑，敷衍他們說話。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5xwJECJzR
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvRohGRFfR
若果自己再年長點，會否有足夠成熟及智慧，能夠承受這一切。 仔細再想，無論何時發生，年輕或年老，均無法淡然接受，豁達面對。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyR06uesX6s
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuUdj8zN4H
可我竟認為，阿爸年紀大，能成熟應對，懂走出傷痛，輕視他痛苦。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo129hRbfQ5
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2de9KolnAN
他會否與我一樣，渴望有人關心，而非獨自承受？ 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqUwlC9utI
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWabePeZ6ER
「呢段時間，佢將所有心機放喺我哋身上，最能夠相信嘅人，就喺曬相入面。」 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtxqqLNXyX
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInPYkS7JG3
「但阿爸會信得過我？」畢竟從那天開始，他就決心隱瞞事實，不讓所有人知道，打算獨自承受一切。 時隔兩年才示好，就連如何開口，我都無從入手。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzOA5mLW0M
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZ7pmYLjWZ
「呢張相，你話呢度好睇，佢先Set腳架影，我話另一邊清啲，佢就點都聽唔入耳。咁你話佢信你定信我多啲？」她反問。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZyrrm2F3F
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG11fPdszau
我沉默不語，內心卻冒出答案。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuW15DakrUg
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7X3LtE1Za
「佢一直信你，只係你唔信佢。」阿媽直接了當說，我下意識立即反駁，卻無法自圓其說。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZIl9tE7Jg
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sZPZBQiA4
「年紀差太遠，呢啲叫代溝。」我推搪着。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurPqPTwi8D
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXuhglqJir
「車，又唔見我哋代溝。」 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXaAXTSYMKy
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNijLZESJ1
「都有㗎，但你明我講咩。」 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJIq8mLvoj
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNYOmVZ66i
「你都無同佢講嘢。」99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TGuuP45ZK
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFB6VfZgHg
  「一講咪嘈交。」 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyoIHlRv3M
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mcwGEoX0Y
「你唔講佢點明。」 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDKPdt2LhU
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QHpO0kAru
「佢聽得入耳先得㗎。」99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeO7ApIBuFW
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2AgSEi7Dt
 「你未試就知佢聽唔入耳？」 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ406nBS5YBc
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2EwfHVTDh
「我試過，但⋯⋯」我欲言又止。99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFxoHP5xER
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyUm52CILc
 「試吓原諒佢？」阿媽的三寸不爛之舌，出口快狠準，簡短卻精準，令我啞口無言，不得不屈服。99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIAozFZwvh
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44nlfA2ZG8
 儘管每次落敗，我依舊懷念鬥嘴時光，好比沉默不語。阿媽回來，頓覺整間屋充滿活力，非死氣沉沉，沉靜無聊。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1v2VmYQL2p
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsliVe4jjZQ
不知何時開始，我害怕面對阿爸，連說一句晚安，都經多番掙扎，每次說到嘴邊，便打消念頭，直接上床訓覺。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvst0c80Vgh
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3tTfRlwPj
漸漸地，彼此不再交流對話，同坐餐桌，各有修行，卻曉有默契，互不搭嘴。 若他與阿媽說話，我則專注食飯，他安靜下來，就由我與阿媽閒聊。99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI26L8c5d81
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZedGZRRQ9z
 彼此傾訴對象，就只有阿媽一個。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLK5FSc4XLU
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mZSXQsPPK
這兩年來，大家對答次數，應該也有百多句，如果「哦」及「嗯」這些答覆也包括在內。99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPAzMnRoNz
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgte2zOpSA
 但真正交流，可謂少之又少。 對上一次直視他、講出心底話，要追溯到四年前爭執。99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnGKeWH5p1
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDjbSTSr7z
 那時候，阿媽為勸交，竟勸得流眼淚，可阿爸並無動容，無情說出一句話，令我感心寒可怕，自此對他心死。99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcctUjZXoX
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7biPL984FT
 「你走咗唔好再翻嚟。」 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtG0vnovW1s
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMo85qlnKh0
他說得字字鏗鏘，像是我踏出家門半步，就馬上斷絕關係。99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizQwNAONGF
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrSulijsJL
 原來，於價值觀面前，關係也不過脆弱如紙。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWC4Iw60Pzt
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUa2dE3DAI1
我只不過，希望他能理解我想法，而非站在電視前，隔住螢幕指手劃腳，喝罵批評我們的不是。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMBCUrHfio
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPYJrN6AMO
我怕，他變成我最討厭一群人，我更怕，我就是他所指的混蛋。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToRIzJPKCA
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRU6pvwvxE
當雙方處於對立立場，彼此都渴望對方歸邊，誤以為激辯一番，世界就會變好，我們就能和好。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1exHmBlyB
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiphzkp4QA
但最終，我仍淪為，他口中的混蛋；他終成為，我內心最討厭的人。 也許，我們都有錯，錯在想拗贏對方，錯在想得到對方認同。 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqFWgtRZtk
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamisR9wMsT
如今，彼此不再交流半句，這結果，又如他所願、如我所想嗎？ 99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxunqBMcSiu
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiW3lo57Ddr
我不知道。99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAEEiqh0Tk
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAqaswXX3s
我只知道，他能輕易說出那句話，輕視我倆相處回憶，輕鬆捨棄彼此關係。99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9RmhVFtXo
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenWDQNTYTi
99Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2mGbroqmR
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