一家人合照、用過的筷子碗碟、她最愛多啦A夢公仔⋯⋯ 有關阿媽貼身用品及心頭好，均一一齊全，幾乎沒有遺漏。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhl2yenyXNG
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9OpZGOrYt
物品可以循環再造，生命卻無起死回生。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ScUw1GZyO
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIS5o5X9VmT
兩年來，我依然不曾發現，甚至誤認為他無情，為其加施出軌「罪行」。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04I7b2KLmY
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFIZ8vEOMI
也許，真正無情的，是我。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡindG9NcWPo
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjT1mYkaBt
「除咗你之外，無人可以幫佢。」她拿起其中一隻多啦A夢公仔，輕力拍去塵埃，再小心放回原位。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNi0PQUInDI
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpy6cj2ogt
此話一出，有種無形壓力壓在雙肩，恐懼自己無法勝任：「點解得我一個？」 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7rztMjs8h
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjxqUkmxvu
阿媽沒作解釋，而是隨手拿起其中一幀家庭照，放到我眼前。 那是阿媽測出癌症前，我們一家三口，最後一次到日本旅行。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHoXObT4AfR
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TWtj60zUn
照片中，我擺出一個冷漠微笑表情，他們兩人則圍住我，於富士山山尾拍照。 昔日畫面，頓時湧上心頭。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07Nc5IdeLh
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtfVQclaku
那時，沒有知曉未來能力的我，還傻更更哼着《富士山下》，裝作睿智問道，應為「要擁有，必先等失去怎接受。」抑是「要擁有必先等失去，怎接受。」 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RRhLRus7c
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuINyVl4txz
我想，無論是前者或後者，結果同樣沒法接受。 有時候，我會羨慕別人，自己不過是二十多歲，竟已失去母親，被迫面對死亡。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYN5EPXq1N
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumFZXZlSM8
喪禮當日，不少親戚長輩，均輕拍我肩膊，要我好好孝順阿爸，表示未來就靠我支撐。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj45dBsCCow
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwTzy0iKzC
每下輕拍，都如巨石般重壓，有種無形壓力，要我一下子負起所有責任。我只能點頭苦笑，敷衍他們說話。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaH7bgP0WKf
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqd8RuJfb5
若果自己再年長點，會否有足夠成熟及智慧，能夠承受這一切。 仔細再想，無論何時發生，年輕或年老，均無法淡然接受，豁達面對。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFqBDwYCly
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBOmzd8ngF
可我竟認為，阿爸年紀大，能成熟應對，懂走出傷痛，輕視他痛苦。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLbJaCUnd8
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONWFoz3BHr
他會否與我一樣，渴望有人關心，而非獨自承受？ 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLA9R1lpeEu
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpUkDPXwxF
「呢段時間，佢將所有心機放喺我哋身上，最能夠相信嘅人，就喺曬相入面。」 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAcGL3kWeP
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBizdh7xEW3
「但阿爸會信得過我？」畢竟從那天開始，他就決心隱瞞事實，不讓所有人知道，打算獨自承受一切。 時隔兩年才示好，就連如何開口，我都無從入手。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYEa06kZ8g
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ndNlaHzQf
「呢張相，你話呢度好睇，佢先Set腳架影，我話另一邊清啲，佢就點都聽唔入耳。咁你話佢信你定信我多啲？」她反問。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocrnbgeWgX
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIkf1Nfl46
我沉默不語，內心卻冒出答案。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNDZFJd2lL
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSO0DKcTvzu
「佢一直信你，只係你唔信佢。」阿媽直接了當說，我下意識立即反駁，卻無法自圓其說。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NTRyft1mF
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0PJDVMz2n
「年紀差太遠，呢啲叫代溝。」我推搪着。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHHhinICrg
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrkmSUwciSn
「車，又唔見我哋代溝。」 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIFzfOcxye
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhUW43iFLc
「都有㗎，但你明我講咩。」 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspXrcCqkvL
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpA8otiQ7D
「你都無同佢講嘢。」127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv723Nxuhty
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NrXQMCMDZ
  「一講咪嘈交。」 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntrh2A3haT
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIicJOzcwT
「你唔講佢點明。」 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhbfM02X6O
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6L6D07iy3
「佢聽得入耳先得㗎。」127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4tK3af8Nq
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkbkOvPwf5
 「你未試就知佢聽唔入耳？」 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMmnBQsCZp
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYMtlZCvOc
「我試過，但⋯⋯」我欲言又止。127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHKUq5vfqZ
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPdqNxczSi
 「試吓原諒佢？」阿媽的三寸不爛之舌，出口快狠準，簡短卻精準，令我啞口無言，不得不屈服。127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumjkPcOIXV
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1X73KP7tq
 儘管每次落敗，我依舊懷念鬥嘴時光，好比沉默不語。阿媽回來，頓覺整間屋充滿活力，非死氣沉沉，沉靜無聊。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTt3HaWGMbh
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQirEDWuUf
不知何時開始，我害怕面對阿爸，連說一句晚安，都經多番掙扎，每次說到嘴邊，便打消念頭，直接上床訓覺。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0veaXoZ5iC
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yKIQbAcJ1
漸漸地，彼此不再交流對話，同坐餐桌，各有修行，卻曉有默契，互不搭嘴。 若他與阿媽說話，我則專注食飯，他安靜下來，就由我與阿媽閒聊。127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZTJvIKNLa
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWEUNg4NDt
 彼此傾訴對象，就只有阿媽一個。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiKOIIMYve
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1mizS6XUR
這兩年來，大家對答次數，應該也有百多句，如果「哦」及「嗯」這些答覆也包括在內。127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxPahtRzqY
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYu9g2H4Lxv
 但真正交流，可謂少之又少。 對上一次直視他、講出心底話，要追溯到四年前爭執。127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFsePSQ0eP
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtrPwM6FAy
 那時候，阿媽為勸交，竟勸得流眼淚，可阿爸並無動容，無情說出一句話，令我感心寒可怕，自此對他心死。127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15d1ujsZb6
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClw82SN0Iu
 「你走咗唔好再翻嚟。」 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouJIUDy25T
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKAA8orDzS
他說得字字鏗鏘，像是我踏出家門半步，就馬上斷絕關係。127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9xvgm8XEc
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSiQcs12U2
 原來，於價值觀面前，關係也不過脆弱如紙。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybg9QNXZ7X
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOnVFwBRpRN
我只不過，希望他能理解我想法，而非站在電視前，隔住螢幕指手劃腳，喝罵批評我們的不是。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5h7LH7Da8w
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttz8tbVRZj
我怕，他變成我最討厭一群人，我更怕，我就是他所指的混蛋。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2gXuUmuRJ
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1k00YfN6z
當雙方處於對立立場，彼此都渴望對方歸邊，誤以為激辯一番，世界就會變好，我們就能和好。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRs7aGAnyb
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnP5TmWGcV
但最終，我仍淪為，他口中的混蛋；他終成為，我內心最討厭的人。 也許，我們都有錯，錯在想拗贏對方，錯在想得到對方認同。 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZD4CWMLdO
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgDIaBCL9Z8
如今，彼此不再交流半句，這結果，又如他所願、如我所想嗎？ 127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbxKNXl1mdg
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyd8a1z89B
我不知道。127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiGQQXX2rQ
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTHa0k4EvG
我只知道，他能輕易說出那句話，輕視我倆相處回憶，輕鬆捨棄彼此關係。127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNeeEh4w0zG
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NRnboTliA
127Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoBsVhjuab
8964 copyright protection123ＰＥＮＡＮＡwinLAi1jdd 維尼

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