一家人合照、用過的筷子碗碟、她最愛多啦A夢公仔⋯⋯ 有關阿媽貼身用品及心頭好，均一一齊全，幾乎沒有遺漏。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9olbedm30
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8ytdP7PLU
物品可以循環再造，生命卻無起死回生。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOWbRSSiYs
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6gYHXt3tk
兩年來，我依然不曾發現，甚至誤認為他無情，為其加施出軌「罪行」。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWrwgbiycu
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoknyCOcjMj
也許，真正無情的，是我。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowaO2CIzKC
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKfad9cqfr
「除咗你之外，無人可以幫佢。」她拿起其中一隻多啦A夢公仔，輕力拍去塵埃，再小心放回原位。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaBEk52ddm
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDM24X4yCp
此話一出，有種無形壓力壓在雙肩，恐懼自己無法勝任：「點解得我一個？」 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0Z8oPLerT
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvPuD7vKYl
阿媽沒作解釋，而是隨手拿起其中一幀家庭照，放到我眼前。 那是阿媽測出癌症前，我們一家三口，最後一次到日本旅行。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0C3MoCt6ao
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ642Ajn1cMG
照片中，我擺出一個冷漠微笑表情，他們兩人則圍住我，於富士山山尾拍照。 昔日畫面，頓時湧上心頭。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsD7bWXH8sC
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrSoKKpd9m
那時，沒有知曉未來能力的我，還傻更更哼着《富士山下》，裝作睿智問道，應為「要擁有，必先等失去怎接受。」抑是「要擁有必先等失去，怎接受。」 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUjp6F1PD0
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIyRxEzTfw
我想，無論是前者或後者，結果同樣沒法接受。 有時候，我會羨慕別人，自己不過是二十多歲，竟已失去母親，被迫面對死亡。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYPcpzUl1c
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPerVtrfdhs
喪禮當日，不少親戚長輩，均輕拍我肩膊，要我好好孝順阿爸，表示未來就靠我支撐。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTwQtZY5ge
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0ophD9B7o
每下輕拍，都如巨石般重壓，有種無形壓力，要我一下子負起所有責任。我只能點頭苦笑，敷衍他們說話。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlvTZZz6Nc
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYZFJuK0rB
若果自己再年長點，會否有足夠成熟及智慧，能夠承受這一切。 仔細再想，無論何時發生，年輕或年老，均無法淡然接受，豁達面對。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OvL9IeroS
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfDeLmtEKq
可我竟認為，阿爸年紀大，能成熟應對，懂走出傷痛，輕視他痛苦。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOBDAPK746
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8oqrpTxUk
他會否與我一樣，渴望有人關心，而非獨自承受？ 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkw8J9dS1k3
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkuhnvdABC
「呢段時間，佢將所有心機放喺我哋身上，最能夠相信嘅人，就喺曬相入面。」 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh25w4TPX5x
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrz2nZ16Z7
「但阿爸會信得過我？」畢竟從那天開始，他就決心隱瞞事實，不讓所有人知道，打算獨自承受一切。 時隔兩年才示好，就連如何開口，我都無從入手。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhaNxCNeAl
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PowP8PZRi
「呢張相，你話呢度好睇，佢先Set腳架影，我話另一邊清啲，佢就點都聽唔入耳。咁你話佢信你定信我多啲？」她反問。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqFQFuapJJ
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJbc4YzjVT
我沉默不語，內心卻冒出答案。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jAPjUQFYg
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQdWuww2Ps
「佢一直信你，只係你唔信佢。」阿媽直接了當說，我下意識立即反駁，卻無法自圓其說。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZb1Ps28mAX
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1ZiqUUb6y
「年紀差太遠，呢啲叫代溝。」我推搪着。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPqeARu3Td
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc61uJp2Ytq
「車，又唔見我哋代溝。」 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFb1mhAvOnV
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZui4wIffLD
「都有㗎，但你明我講咩。」 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdsIzT4Hhw
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvI6blswOTa
「你都無同佢講嘢。」104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUrEHW5dri
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49NvYC000D
  「一講咪嘈交。」 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz989L4WYSV
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPHX10KjF9
「你唔講佢點明。」 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8IcjgazSf
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡli8ht618QE
「佢聽得入耳先得㗎。」104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVWiDmO5ym
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBreFvkzef
 「你未試就知佢聽唔入耳？」 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMuSDPLSzN
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAw17OrXQO
「我試過，但⋯⋯」我欲言又止。104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1UYlKccER
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnbJVvrXFf
 「試吓原諒佢？」阿媽的三寸不爛之舌，出口快狠準，簡短卻精準，令我啞口無言，不得不屈服。104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAFtEPdvXn
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dbgRuFRpE
 儘管每次落敗，我依舊懷念鬥嘴時光，好比沉默不語。阿媽回來，頓覺整間屋充滿活力，非死氣沉沉，沉靜無聊。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCeNSNJQh5
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZp02Jis39I
不知何時開始，我害怕面對阿爸，連說一句晚安，都經多番掙扎，每次說到嘴邊，便打消念頭，直接上床訓覺。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMK6QYi40U2
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToFBSxNouz
漸漸地，彼此不再交流對話，同坐餐桌，各有修行，卻曉有默契，互不搭嘴。 若他與阿媽說話，我則專注食飯，他安靜下來，就由我與阿媽閒聊。104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNzJxoevfd
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU45QPDrxpp
 彼此傾訴對象，就只有阿媽一個。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhC0mtxIQ2
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEk60Coo46Y
這兩年來，大家對答次數，應該也有百多句，如果「哦」及「嗯」這些答覆也包括在內。104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknT9FRfPJR
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1dOryktz9
 但真正交流，可謂少之又少。 對上一次直視他、講出心底話，要追溯到四年前爭執。104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6HgkzvoGK7
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFW6JeABaft
 那時候，阿媽為勸交，竟勸得流眼淚，可阿爸並無動容，無情說出一句話，令我感心寒可怕，自此對他心死。104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFB2aqRE5u
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywWgbFqPWN
 「你走咗唔好再翻嚟。」 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGbrWrN2dO
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekopzB6gwk
他說得字字鏗鏘，像是我踏出家門半步，就馬上斷絕關係。104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0patwDxJE
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhMPTWOoDH
 原來，於價值觀面前，關係也不過脆弱如紙。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2tRWGywPT
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcOmtWoTbS
我只不過，希望他能理解我想法，而非站在電視前，隔住螢幕指手劃腳，喝罵批評我們的不是。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Lk0fcw5E1
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpeAoCwVrc
我怕，他變成我最討厭一群人，我更怕，我就是他所指的混蛋。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qKUHp2JDE
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQXBvmm0kd
當雙方處於對立立場，彼此都渴望對方歸邊，誤以為激辯一番，世界就會變好，我們就能和好。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZN0hBpEm1
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuFfPuQGKo
但最終，我仍淪為，他口中的混蛋；他終成為，我內心最討厭的人。 也許，我們都有錯，錯在想拗贏對方，錯在想得到對方認同。 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDIzYo2yPo
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWzem5nZ8l
如今，彼此不再交流半句，這結果，又如他所願、如我所想嗎？ 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEyVBmWZN1S
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrIyvkje1Wa
我不知道。104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd17JyAVLq5
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhs9vVlJIk
我只知道，他能輕易說出那句話，輕視我倆相處回憶，輕鬆捨棄彼此關係。104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFpWBNoPox
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQS60r8jir
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡye5sYI9kRp
8964 copyright protection100ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOZb5d3HQz 維尼

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