一家人合照、用過的筷子碗碟、她最愛多啦A夢公仔⋯⋯ 有關阿媽貼身用品及心頭好，均一一齊全，幾乎沒有遺漏。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYfCe8IMVI
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rjnNBndGo
物品可以循環再造，生命卻無起死回生。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXN98DGdoXQ
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3qLBkqcC5
兩年來，我依然不曾發現，甚至誤認為他無情，為其加施出軌「罪行」。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgzrAqdHc7
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrf8TvBdQ77
也許，真正無情的，是我。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPpKREGbLF
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxjIVX5JXc
「除咗你之外，無人可以幫佢。」她拿起其中一隻多啦A夢公仔，輕力拍去塵埃，再小心放回原位。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg52tTFusld
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjO8pzhlLG
此話一出，有種無形壓力壓在雙肩，恐懼自己無法勝任：「點解得我一個？」 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKowsP3zGEu
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4XCKenUgx
阿媽沒作解釋，而是隨手拿起其中一幀家庭照，放到我眼前。 那是阿媽測出癌症前，我們一家三口，最後一次到日本旅行。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuW8POgvH97
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBlqcYGzWC
照片中，我擺出一個冷漠微笑表情，他們兩人則圍住我，於富士山山尾拍照。 昔日畫面，頓時湧上心頭。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvo6zXcFFUR
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SPMtMlN38
那時，沒有知曉未來能力的我，還傻更更哼着《富士山下》，裝作睿智問道，應為「要擁有，必先等失去怎接受。」抑是「要擁有必先等失去，怎接受。」 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡejapGkh5Ae
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSTqFbRxU0
我想，無論是前者或後者，結果同樣沒法接受。 有時候，我會羨慕別人，自己不過是二十多歲，竟已失去母親，被迫面對死亡。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNplmNdh4a
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihVElCfXCf
喪禮當日，不少親戚長輩，均輕拍我肩膊，要我好好孝順阿爸，表示未來就靠我支撐。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUPonG1dNK
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHPm1WG9TF
每下輕拍，都如巨石般重壓，有種無形壓力，要我一下子負起所有責任。我只能點頭苦笑，敷衍他們說話。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9S50KxmgP
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9FOYwBZ3f
若果自己再年長點，會否有足夠成熟及智慧，能夠承受這一切。 仔細再想，無論何時發生，年輕或年老，均無法淡然接受，豁達面對。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfNPXhBEId
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKK01dbMRY
可我竟認為，阿爸年紀大，能成熟應對，懂走出傷痛，輕視他痛苦。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGeuUiH7gC
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjAKPMy0r2
他會否與我一樣，渴望有人關心，而非獨自承受？ 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOfgyuNlfc
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVU4SRaf7hy
「呢段時間，佢將所有心機放喺我哋身上，最能夠相信嘅人，就喺曬相入面。」 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjed3Zxszhd
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39aiTFTh9g
「但阿爸會信得過我？」畢竟從那天開始，他就決心隱瞞事實，不讓所有人知道，打算獨自承受一切。 時隔兩年才示好，就連如何開口，我都無從入手。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLJUCn8ojh
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwixyMlcZV
「呢張相，你話呢度好睇，佢先Set腳架影，我話另一邊清啲，佢就點都聽唔入耳。咁你話佢信你定信我多啲？」她反問。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGo6YsMR2x
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknQzaxgEaS
我沉默不語，內心卻冒出答案。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOpT1gR3sK
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCQpRaDE8l
「佢一直信你，只係你唔信佢。」阿媽直接了當說，我下意識立即反駁，卻無法自圓其說。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG45Yj2RYmF
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVNKa8Bb9u
「年紀差太遠，呢啲叫代溝。」我推搪着。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfDktj3hRE
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Mjq9RI5Dm
「車，又唔見我哋代溝。」 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCsdFibMp0
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCmLuq9Zro
「都有㗎，但你明我講咩。」 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoomqHjqqo0
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOXsiptm9S
「你都無同佢講嘢。」148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXB1dyJNMn2
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5PeViQVIq
  「一講咪嘈交。」 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4F0Gjf77Wq
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VbdOWbEfU
「你唔講佢點明。」 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8N16AQRugJ
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9JbCCl1E1
「佢聽得入耳先得㗎。」148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQAhCxCYdI
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGfQivQi6F
 「你未試就知佢聽唔入耳？」 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUQtGvxYwC
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQDtp2lIUT
「我試過，但⋯⋯」我欲言又止。148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2mgAaV7WK
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvCwOepx6u
 「試吓原諒佢？」阿媽的三寸不爛之舌，出口快狠準，簡短卻精準，令我啞口無言，不得不屈服。148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VJt44VypA
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpasebgWDs
 儘管每次落敗，我依舊懷念鬥嘴時光，好比沉默不語。阿媽回來，頓覺整間屋充滿活力，非死氣沉沉，沉靜無聊。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvLuT1h1eW
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYx5E5OFl1
不知何時開始，我害怕面對阿爸，連說一句晚安，都經多番掙扎，每次說到嘴邊，便打消念頭，直接上床訓覺。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidU9XYLhOw
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2A2cIOdc9B
漸漸地，彼此不再交流對話，同坐餐桌，各有修行，卻曉有默契，互不搭嘴。 若他與阿媽說話，我則專注食飯，他安靜下來，就由我與阿媽閒聊。148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8DW8Tiwgq
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxovAhCkac
 彼此傾訴對象，就只有阿媽一個。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLn45LnLGNu
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡselwRzhsnZ
這兩年來，大家對答次數，應該也有百多句，如果「哦」及「嗯」這些答覆也包括在內。148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARJJlXxk5Y
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzrVGgiBtJ
 但真正交流，可謂少之又少。 對上一次直視他、講出心底話，要追溯到四年前爭執。148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfEYu4sjhg
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5M4IcbGec
 那時候，阿媽為勸交，竟勸得流眼淚，可阿爸並無動容，無情說出一句話，令我感心寒可怕，自此對他心死。148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxCeUoMgyt
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOXwEfuPgD
 「你走咗唔好再翻嚟。」 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNqN8ymkjo
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLtctDromf
他說得字字鏗鏘，像是我踏出家門半步，就馬上斷絕關係。148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwa1WIGQqTa
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NOhIBebrk
 原來，於價值觀面前，關係也不過脆弱如紙。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9ZgGUru5L
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38l37q2QrB
我只不過，希望他能理解我想法，而非站在電視前，隔住螢幕指手劃腳，喝罵批評我們的不是。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewmkDbbrGE
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡperjVHl2pp
我怕，他變成我最討厭一群人，我更怕，我就是他所指的混蛋。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrF0rwETSYH
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKHCTYbPAF
當雙方處於對立立場，彼此都渴望對方歸邊，誤以為激辯一番，世界就會變好，我們就能和好。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3B0M9wkwf
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJ3jabFOmB
但最終，我仍淪為，他口中的混蛋；他終成為，我內心最討厭的人。 也許，我們都有錯，錯在想拗贏對方，錯在想得到對方認同。 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2c6JPat4VV
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrM848AT5e8
如今，彼此不再交流半句，這結果，又如他所願、如我所想嗎？ 148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcsXPomNrN
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAYoh5oMrH
我不知道。148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCirB1A513
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPw89etnt85
我只知道，他能輕易說出那句話，輕視我倆相處回憶，輕鬆捨棄彼此關係。148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvhK9ryCQs
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHa82543jp
148Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6f9ExMpBW
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