【冰漾】我的單身日記 第十九章47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDyp5mNNkU9
發文時間: 4/23 2012

我的單身日記1947Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHv0QrllJbi
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　　為什麼。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2q35r7WKe
　　為什麼說不出口。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVE7gPemLfV
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　　這麼簡單的一句話，就四個字。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIixSXS0wCK
　　雙唇開了又闔，我放棄了多少次坦白的機會，而每每壓抑一次，換來的都是無法訴諸的淚水。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wkhQ1O5KA
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　　啊啊……你不知道的，淚水。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgntVGmX1U4
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfWrQf4LPK
　　有多少個夜裡，我回味著你稀有的溫柔，在心裡感到甜蜜而勾動嘴角的那一刻，比笑聲更快流洩的卻是淚水。那些夜裡，我總是笑著哭。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTefkrxKht
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　　為了你笑，更為了你哭。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXDOIzYbW1
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　　要我怎麼說出口？被我喜歡上又不是你的錯，而我憑什麼讓這份心情成為你的負擔？47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JiHF1ueMY
　　但我好幾次都差點這麼說出來了，真的差一點。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJwSGKMw8y
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　　當你走在我面前，嘴角帶著若有似無的笑意時；當我遇上挫折，你走過來拍了拍我的肩膀時；當我迷失了方向，你默默的將我拉起來推回原軌時。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8F57FL0OTL
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uhjpdxt2z
　　我張著的唇，嚥著的是多少句喜歡，你永遠也不會知道。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUN0frvFwG
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　　我想要一輩子都在你身邊，你依然不會知道的，我就是這麼貪心。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XW7LvJbye
　　所以我情願做你的朋友，因為朋友總能比戀人長久。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRmbD6hwgt
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　　正因為我珍惜著，所以我忍受著。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZncvtmPjr
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　　這就是貪心的代價，我對你有多貪心，就要為了你多傷心。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHq9dDDw7I
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　　這也是沒辦法的啊，誰叫我是個失去不起的膽小鬼？47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6TxVZVEtw
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEZvgc3ATE
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVVhCIo4Mz
　　我不想，失去你偶爾輕輕喚我一聲「褚。」的那抹淺笑。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRQ9hOvV1a
　　我不想，失去在你面前叫著你一聲「學長！」的資格。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEyDTwjFPr7
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　　就算，我真正想對你說的是，一句輕聲的：「我喜歡你。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtlPuLGfF0
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　　清醒，但沒有睜開眼睛，只是任由淚水流下，疲於掩飾早已傷痕累累的那顆心。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnW7ac5pNb2
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfACcRsKEB6
　　在認知到身旁的那人是誰時，我真的覺得－－好累好累了。閉著眼，我試著在黑暗中將那兩個截然不同的身影重疊。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmU1mwCTC1
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　　「學長……」我出聲，細細輕喚。聽見他來到我身邊的聲音，我勾起一抹淡然的微笑，然後睜開眼睛。映入眼中的面容，果然是他。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tv7hzFl2m
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1MfAK6ANA
　　「阿利學長。」我微笑著對眼前的人喚道，看著蓄有褐色長髮的俊逸青年對著我綻出一抹爽朗而溫潤的笑容：「你終於醒啦？感覺還好嗎，小學弟？」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWjjEzFt8a
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　　依然微笑著，我張開雙唇：「阿利學長，我喜歡你。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdMSWL9iCs
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　　已經不想去在乎了，雖然過去老是對自己說痛苦是必然的，但真的……撐不下去了啊，在他毫不遲疑的把我的心推向別人的那一刻。連自己可能被我喜歡上的可能性都歸為零，我有什麼資格去喜歡這樣的他呢？47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZvv5O6OyP
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　　「…咦嗚呃啊？！」阿利學長顯然被我嚇的不輕。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8K8Gx0IVwu
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpGpZ93LoZ
　　看著這樣的他，我忍不住的笑出聲來：「我真的喜歡你唷。應該啦、嘻嘻。」我笑得好燦爛，但心裡卻哭的好大聲，好像永遠的放棄了什麼，甚至沒有勇氣去追尋。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd15BDbeYJM
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2c2Re7Vkl6
　　現下只有一個念頭，就是不能讓學長再去深思日記裡的內容，絕對不能讓他知道我真正喜歡的到底是誰。那麼，將錯就錯吧，喜歡一個人如果這麼痛苦，那我寧可將這份心意就此塵封，不再心動。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQV2O6mQRd8
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQRVn6tWp6
　　「學、學弟，你到底怎麼了啊？」阿利學長瞪大眸子，他的驚疑不定和手足無措完全掩飾不了。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsnkc8XUeT
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　　笑著凝視慌張的阿利學長，我笑著笑著，就這樣哭了起來。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hqbyNzl7F
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　　「我喜歡你，我喜歡你，我喜歡你！嗚啊啊啊啊啊－－！我真的真的好喜歡你啊！學長……學長……我喜歡你……好喜歡好喜歡好喜歡……你不要推開我好不好？可不可以相信我？拜託你相信我……我喜歡你…真的好喜歡你啊……！」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDLZOIrgpzH
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　　聲嘶力竭的哭喊著，我放任自己哭泣。早該大哭一場了，是我太看得起自己，以為不管多痛苦我都忍的下去。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtY0UwlilE
　　殊不知，我早已傷不起。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGeatBSwfx
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　　和他相處的畫面在腦中一幕幕的播放起，有他鮮有的笑意，有他偶然的親暱，有他刻意掩藏的貼心。我在他心中，就真的只是一個學弟而已，他甚至覺得我不可能會喜歡他。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKduAs1UKDx
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　　還有什麼，比自己的心意還沒說出口，就被全盤否定更痛苦的呢？47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi42FrKZmM1
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　　在阿利學長身邊徹底崩潰的哭泣著，像是要把對學長的心意就這樣全部宣洩出來，我一遍又一遍的重覆哭喊著那四個字，彌補過去說不出口的每一次。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRjvZJEWcSV
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　　「我喜歡你……我喜歡你……」聲音啞了，眼睛腫了，心也碎了。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOaxGZiy0E
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　　我依然開合著乾澀的雙唇重覆低喃，像是跳針的撥放器。直到我被拉起，落入一個溫暖的懷抱，直到有一隻手輕輕的覆上我泛著淚的雙眼，直到他的下巴微微的抵在我的頭頂上，我才放棄似的抓住繞在我的腰上的那隻手，像是在浩瀚無際的汪洋中飄浮了好久而終於抓住一片浮木。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SBPypR7XA
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　　「阿利學長……你可不可以替我保守一個秘密？」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiHFdf8btW
47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAQ8KUwVSU
　　「嘛、我都替我保守紅袍身分的秘密了，你說，我還有什麼秘密不能替親愛的小學弟保守呢？」　47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7Emya2HVm
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　　「我…我喜歡學長，我是說冰炎學長。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjFUCypCDd
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　　「嗯。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsgCdktOzy
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　　「可是他以為我喜歡你。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAQSG8c6Eb
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　　「……嗚啊。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI04ItcZCIB
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　　「所以我喜歡你了。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSn430wGjT
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　　「……等等，學弟麻煩你把整件事情從頭到尾解釋一次給我聽。」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4D3YtKIY1
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　　我就這樣，在阿利學長的懷中，靜靜的說著我不為人知的愛情故事。最後，大概是哭累了，我在半睡半醒之際，感覺到自己被悄悄的扶回床上，勉強的將眼睛睜開一些，我看見正彎著腰為我蓋上棉被的阿利學長。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0FUOuPcPj
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　　忍不住伸手碰了碰他垂下的褐色馬尾，我含糊的出了聲：「阿利學長……謝謝你喔……」47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdi1h7khie
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　　他愣了一下，旋即燦然的綻出一抹寵溺的笑容。47Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DRTD1y4kj
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　　「You're welcome, 親愛的學弟。」他笑著說，接著伸手，替我闔上那雙哭累的雙眼。