— No, I don't feel like it.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7sQrflOzz
— But yes, it will be fun.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4loezoarH
— What's the funny thing about going to school on a day when there's no class ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6hsDjeCQL
We have one of those discussions where I try to convince him to come out. This time, I set my sights on the Halloween party that the school organizes like every year on the evening of October 31st.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegglQ5Vr7z
I thought about his question for a moment. How can I make him give in this time ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jp09oMrCX
— The classes will be emptied of their desks. There will be entertainment, sweets… a ball.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvwp7uQWVk
He raises an eyebrow and makes me understand that this is not a given.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Hd6taW2NQ
— Do you see me dancing ? ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ70SlkC74ha
I ignore his reply and continue mischievously : 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xgLOE129W
— We will be disguised, and you can annoy everyone who criticizes you from behind. Why else do you think I would go ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gHb3SWZIy
I can see by his expression that I have a point.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarPdczIR8T
— Hello, Megan.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlPGV5vljS9
— Hello, Elise, are you well ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBc7gokx8n
I spend so much time with Jessy that I have become very close to Mrs. Sutter. She is always happy to see me at their place and invites me to come whenever I want. I feel a bit like home there.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbXoDOjmnN
— Where will you go in disguise ? Asks Elise who heard my last sentence.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmj50sPBRG5
— At the high school Halloween party.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2VoQ6tW5A
— Good idea ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ebWUS1x0X
With one look, Jessy glares at his mother. Mrs. Sutter places a laundry basket on the dining room table where we are and begins to fold the clothes. I grab a T-shirt and spread it on the table to help him.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjsLdxZsuK
— It will do you good to go out and have fun, you stay too cooped up here ruminating.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdIFH6qk5C
— I like to be alone with my thoughts, Jessy defends, grabbing the T-shirt I’m holding in my hands.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN51G3M1qk1
— Luckily you're here, Meg, otherwise he'd never leave his room.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcA1myo2Jm
I grab another piece of clothing and start folding it.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpwgcNJkyr
— Mom, stop. It’s okay, you win, I’ll go to the damn party ! But Meg, please stop worrying about my clothes ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRwoQkPdjF
I look down at the item of clothing I'm holding : it's one of his boxers. I let go immediately, but I already feel my cheeks turning red. Jessy grabs it and hides it behind his back. His face is as red as mine.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjo9vrtjj40
— Sorry… I’m… so used to doing it… at home, I said, stuttering.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6WK7MQG0o
Mrs. Sutter bursts out laughing as she watches us.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6tbeZBeUm
— Mission accomplished, she comes to high five me.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCwzodrKfS
— What are we going to disguise ourselves as ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiM5JXguquB
— There's no way I'm going to wear a suit ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKErnnZJ18
Jessy responds quickly, looking at us in turn.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIQV1gPKGb
312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EgFG7RcUL
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The next week, we're in the main hallway of the school during break time, talking about the Halloween party. I keep trying to convince Jessy to dress up but he remains stubborn.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTkjORcvcS
— I could see you as James Dean, I think out loud as I look at him.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUm44Ocjlit
— Is it because I'm going to die young like him ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFkcAygut6
Immediately, I grimace.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsevpg4EtD
— Stop with that ! I was thinking of James because you are handsome and sexy like him but if you prefer to see the negative side...312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbA17ldaTe
— I was joking, he smiled. Beautiful and sexy, huh ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOhpDegLA7
I roll my eyes, smiling as my cheeks turn red. My words came out before I could hold them back. In Jessy's presence, I feel like I'm losing my composure. It is enough for him to stare at me with those beautiful green eyes for my mouth to respond without having the approval of my brain.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBzbFSyH18
— I’m dreaming where your cheeks are all red, he mocks, pointing to my face with his index finger.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRS5InzKDN5
I give him a little tap on the arm which makes him burst out laughing. I love hearing this sound. I have seen him so angry, sullen, lonely, that when he laughs I am happy.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIihdYTBiXq
— At times, you remind me of my brother. You have the same dubious humor every…312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhta4ZbE6Qt
I leave my sentence hanging as my smile freezes when I see Amy passing near us. She gives me an icy look and completely ignores Jessy.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedIzeFglyz
— Why is Amy looking at you like that ? Jessy asks me.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7aVFi3krZ
I turn to him, trying to ignore my former friend. I don't want her to realize how much her attitude hurts and disappoints me.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1qvxjLMYt
— I don't know. Since I'm no longer with Chad, she doesn't speak to me anymore. To think that she was my best friend... As children, we were all together often : Chad, Amy and me. And today, I feel like I've lost a part of my past.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8mIkZMytE
— People change and evolve differently over the years. She'll come back to you one of these days.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuX7w0T8mB
— You think ? I ask him, hoping he's telling the truth.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiwEWQfc3z
— I'm sure. Who could give up a friend like you ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSB1VGqJzyG
— Yeah, a friend, I breathe with annoyance while scrutinizing him.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sm9k3szFW
I would really like him to see me as something other than his friend.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwMF52MsLV
— And with Chad, where are you ? He questions casually.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MZqPCqLOz
— Nowhere. We haven't spoken in several weeks. I turned the page on him. On the other hand, I continue by staring at him. There are three other boys who asked me on a date.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ941Czk9z3h
Am I dreaming or has his expression suddenly changed ? He lowers his face, staring at the ground as if it holds all the answers in the universe.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmLXNPJxgG
— Did you agree to go out with them ? He whispers in a strangled voice.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSx9zsGGB5D
— No, I refused. You're the only guy I want to spend time with at the moment.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldYokpRRAn
Suddenly, he lifts his face and smiles. I observe him carefully. Maybe he doesn't really see me as a friend after all. It’s enough to make me smile again.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkICQBkKSYu
— You and Chad broke up shortly after I arrived in town, but there was one thing that struck me from the few times I saw you together.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VOOKnVwJL
— Ah good ? What ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHHeDZyLeI
— The distance there was between you. I mean, you were never in each other's arms or making a move to touch each other.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0F8IX26oU
— Is that what you did with your exes ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4t9QmMioQu
I scrutinize him to read his reaction which does not take long : 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLz8u6zeWE
— No, but I have never been in love.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZ7sKXTEo3
— Maybe Chad didn’t like me that much, I shrug. Or that I'm not the type of girl that guys like to hug.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFu6ayeuMA
— Oh yes, any man would be happy to be able to hold you against him, he says without a shadow of hesitation.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNj0uhJ8Mp
So why don't you do it ? ! I want to ask him.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWKaYkGUbv
But suspecting that this would turn him on, I just stare at him and remain silent. However, I am happy with his admission, so I continue with a smile : 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFPDid0udE
— So for Halloween, what are we dressing up as ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBn2eAFNVJM
312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMs3sLmji6E
312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmfGQ8AOzH
On Friday evening, I found my parents in the living room while waiting for Jessy to arrive. I enter the room and turn around asking them : 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgvdUqjmPW
— Is my dress okay ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjH8Aj41abE
— You are very chic, admire my father.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs54QNfMcm9
For the occasion, I opted for a black Charleston— style dress, and my hairstyle is adorned with a white feather. It's not my favorite outfit, but Jessy only agreed to wear a very classy suit jacket.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnpPqKURfQ
— Megan, why do you have a mask in your hand ? Nina asks.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nlskluets
— I'll put it on when I get to school. I promised Jessy that, under cover of anonymity, he could annoy the students who criticize him.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlG8I66qRpj
My mother laughs.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHMk87sUn0
— That’s definitely your idea ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOE1uFVywn
— It was one of the arguments to decide him to leave his house.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcHlUF37dd
— You two spend a lot of time together, my father comments seriously.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsuNnuCoKj
— Yes, he’s great ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2OOq5ziuq
— You know we love Jessy, but we're worried about you.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAu6sabpftS
— We are just friends.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSOPXjTwmd
— I'm not talking about that. Losing someone close to you is difficult.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6sW2lm5GV
— I know. I know that one day he may no longer be here, but if that were to happen, I would have time to prepare for it. And he's my best friend, I can't stop seeing him, that wouldn't be fair to him or me.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv23wft46Fs
— Are you sure it’s just friendship ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnw8UZ2ZLEQ
My father examines my face which immediately turns purple.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfftvXZA9i
— I preferred Chad, my sister objects, sulking.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zaByh2N60
Without meaning to, Nina makes me smile again and distracts my father's attention. Admitting to myself that I'm in love with Jessy is one thing, dropping this bombshell in front of my father is another. I already know the moral lesson that would await me.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0m7zrKLYG
— And I find this school rule stupid which stipulates that you have to be fifteen years old to be able to attend this evening. I would have liked to go there ! She says, crossing her arms over her chest.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9icxRoIXX
— Then you should have asked Chad to invite you ! I said, provoking her.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmicqlf2hkU
In response, she taps her foot on the ground while the doorbell rings.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bGYuw7BdI
— I go ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSD3wrYmLlH
I rush to open the door to Jessy. And I literally stand there glued to the spot when I see him in his black suit with a white shirt, black tie and hat. In his hand he holds a white mask similar to mine. He exudes a particular charm that disturbs me even more than usual, which is saying something.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUShFc7lJtO
After a few seconds of examining each other, he leans towards me to hang a white rose on the strap of my dress.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PlvyS5Owp
— How pretty you are, he whispered to me.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEGGNBXd4S
His hands brush the skin of my shoulder and I feel myself melting. I take a deep breath to force myself to pull myself together.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQufOhXQRJ
— Isn't that okay ? He asks me, visibly worried.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQubLFFir0
I can't tell him the truth. He was very clear with me when I let myself kiss him. And even though he hasn't spoken to me about it again, I still feel a burning shame. Since then I have restrained my actions and am content to be the friend he needs so much.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPZxudZGLa
— Yes, it's going very well. It’s just that it’s hot in the house and cold outside, the contrast struck me. Come on, just a minute, I'll get my coat.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UJtzrCEmE
He nods and follows me to the living room where he politely greets my family as usual.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Z8gseDZiu
— Wow, Jessy ! This costume suits you really well ! Launches my mother.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQjFV4NHu8
— Thank you, Mrs. Crawfords. Nina, I thought of you, I brought you a little thing to console you for not being able to come to the party.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLIURUewxO
He takes a rose similar to mine out of his pocket and hands it to my sister, who is speechless for a few seconds.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkdCFeJMca
— Thank you, Jessy, she finally said. Then looking at us, she adds : I take back everything I said earlier, it’s Jessy, my favorite ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XLkQDy5DM
We burst out laughing.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcSiGgrNWU
— Well done, Jessy, you managed to dethrone Chad ! My father is joking.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJKNB0cjT7
— It wasn’t won though, smiled the young man. — Here we go ? I ask him.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSVwGQvwzA
Jessy makes a hesitant face and answers me without much enthusiasm : 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIede8EYcI3
— I would have done without it, but since I have to… let’s go ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOQqqZQsoo
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312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRctp9NYwvq
Two hours later, I see that Jessy is having a good evening. We took the route of anxiety : a walk in the middle of the corridors of the high school which, for the occasion, were decorated as a house of horror with skeletons suddenly appearing in front of us, vampires thirsty for blood who throw themselves on those who dare to approach them or even werewolves who run after us in the feigned hope of devouring us. There are many activities, but Jessy doesn't forget his little revenge either. When we pass a tall dark guy dressed as Dracula, whom my companion immediately recognizes as one of his persecutors, he puts on his mask, approaches slowly and manages to drop off without anyone, except me, noticing. has a large rubber tarantula on his shoulder. A moment later, we hear a scream echo through the classroom as the guy in question squirms in every direction to escape the spider. Jessy and I walk out of the room laughing until we cry.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡep5871ayjk
— I admit, he said to me shortly after in one of the corridors, when we caught our breath, that just for that, it was worth coming ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuN5PUIX3B
— See, I told you we’d have fun ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeB5bs7GIY
— You were right, thank you for forcing my hand. (He takes off his mask before staring at me.) Of all the people I know, you are always there for me, no matter what. For what ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAGxO7AHXH
He is suddenly serious.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkq5L4MNAJ
Can't you see that I'm in love with you, idiot ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVVU1gVkjy
I want to tell him, but I hold back.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXf0vwFOw6
Instead, I answer him : 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7uURUBuWo
— Why not ? You're my friend, right ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbjVCltC24
He nods, and his green eyes shine with a strange light.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiGCT9AYKz
— Oh, Jessy, come ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8Y5vgWIma
Without waiting for a response, I grab him by the sleeve of his suit and force him to follow me into one of the classes that says : Come discover your future through cards.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChFoY87uxV
For the occasion, the room, deliberately darkened, was divided into three parts by curtains, thus constituting cabins where clairvoyants sit. We approach one of them.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZCebhHlA9
— Can we ? I said, pointing to the seats in front of her.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvoFGEEYaT
— Of course, my children, come. Sit down.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzN9rYATAc
She is a small woman with brown hair, with a fairly fleshy build, who inspires confidence at first glance.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxkNgacTbM
— Who wants to start ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKEYpgJ618
Jessy and I exchange a look.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfFrlTNZPE
"Iron, Meg."312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ557bpAQ0hZ
— OK, draw seven cards from the fan in front of you.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62xA7BAs3P
She turns the cards over one after the other, arranging them in a sort of large cross.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7cd34zCfP
— You are a nice girl, a little too serious at times, she said to me. You are always there for the people you love. This card, which designates the Empress, tells me that you are good at studies. I can assure you that you will go to university and study for a long time. A great job awaits you at the end.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAa63Es7UF
I'm happy, studies are very important to me.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3a4q9jQ0U
— This card, she continues, showing me the Lover, — tells me that you are hesitating between two boys. One has the key to your heart and the other relationship is more controlled by your reason, the first boy completely capsizes you, the second rather symbolizes security.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6b2AgmdCh
I feel myself blushing from head to toe and, silently, I thank the heavens that the room is just lit by candles. Jessy and Chad ! Only I'm not in love with Chad and I'm banking on love... I feel Jessy's gaze weighing on me, but I don't dare respond.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NqkylP4Bv
— I can't tell you more, it will be up to you to choose between these two men, she places her hand on mine.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7b4vqDCzmo
— Thanks.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HzWcPjMmv
— Your turn, young man, announces the woman, shuffling her cards before spreading them again on the table.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXjvBshuRr
As I did, Jessy takes out seven cards from the deck and turns them over as she goes.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZrK5i3T2E
— You are a kind boy, very sensitive, who has suffered a lot, but you do everything to keep it from showing. You play tough to hide your heart of gold. You are gifted in studies, but this card, it points to the Moon, leads me to believe that you are especially gifted in the arts. The drawing ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0Ff0HJ0q4
— I painted a lot, but I stopped for a while.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYwD9HSSWM
— You should start again. You are an anxious boy, and this would calm you down.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AXniBt8s2
She turns over another card : the Hermit.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRGP75EJs9
— This one tells me that you tend to run away from others. You like to be alone and, at the same time, you experience this solitude as if you were afraid of the world around you. Yet you are not alone... There is someone in your life that you love, but, for I don't know what reasons, you seem to be running away from this love that life offers you.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzsAb6l2Lzd
I see Jessy growing nervous next to me as he stares intently at the cards.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgaqTF3Adw
The clairvoyant turns over the penultimate card : the Nameless Arcana. Despite myself, I flinch.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3KxaWPc0D
— Don't worry, the lady is reassuring, this card is scary with the skeleton reaping it represents, but it rarely means physical death. Above all, it is a sign of change in life. Your existence will be turned upside down, you will succeed in overcoming your fears to fully live your destiny.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FTbii0S5S
She turns over the last card : the World.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5OK9bSfhL
— In the coming months, you are going to be very happy young man, much more than you imagine, but for that, you must open your heart to accept the gift that is being given to you, said the clairvoyant, looking Jessie.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZERLcPHMpu
— Thank you, Madam, he stammers, visibly embarrassed.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkOd9jR9nL
— One last thing : Concerning your health, just live day to day without worrying too much. Destiny is destiny, you cannot change what will happen.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzvkajpvdY
Jessy nods, looking serious, even though my heart is pounding. Has she just confirmed his imminent death ? His words are enigmatic to me but not to312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYtJB4l0NK
Jessy who gets up quickly and leaves the room, I follow suit.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6epupno5I
— Jessy, are you okay ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhkGe4Gvy7
— Yes, very good.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTjXmx7Jmw
— I'm sorry. It was a stupid idea to go see a psychic.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZKhfAr5vz
He stops and turns to me.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fDKZZebD9
— Don't worry, she told us an ending that you and I already know.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dWt1ZcNmO
— It wasn't that clear to me.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjviCUVeRD
— Yes, but you are always overly optimistic while I…312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAMAcGy0za
— You are disarmingly pessimistic.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKLBkXiDnw
My reply makes Jessy laugh.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkupeDmktB8
— It's true. Between the two of us, we have the perfect balance.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcgzVD0Tcw
I smile in turn, thinking about how we complement each other perfectly.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7aWMUkkvfU
— Seriously, are you sure you’re okay ? If you want, can we go back ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSOIciPPXN
— No, we're having fun. Come on, come on ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6bQhtY56f
He gives me a reassuring wink. For the first time, he takes my hand, which suddenly makes me feverish, and guides me towards the gymnasium which has been transformed into a ballroom. Black and orange garlands cascade from the ceiling, paper pumpkins have been installed on the tables where soft drinks are served. In the four corners of the room, plastic skeletons held by wires move like puppets. In the center of the room, students wiggle to the rhythm of a wild Rolling Stones song.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNx183FAOl
— You are thirsty ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2baB36TzBW
I nod with a nod. Jessy leaves me to go get two cups. I look around the room. In a corner, I see Chad dressed as a vampire, and his friends. Apparently they are the ones responsible for leading the anxiety journey. Then a tall blonde girl comes and kisses him full on the mouth. Despite her Marilyn Monroe disguise, I recognized Amy immediately. That's why she's been running away from me since we broke up, she did everything to seduce him and it worked. Chad quickly forgot me and her, that traitor ! Jessy returns with the cups. I drink mine dry.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5Sdm7ORcS
— What do you have ? He asked in front of my furious face.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIRDs0q0Dr
I nod and show him Chad and Amy.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwSknHI2NY
— Oops, is the only sound that comes out of his mouth.
Jessy looks over to the corner where Chad and Amy are watching us, seeming to be watching for my reaction.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GD5CRw0vG
— Come Dance.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIB3IuipnmQ
He takes my hand again, which has the effect of calming me down immediately.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdR77SDRW1
— I thought you didn't dance ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqL0N34jR8
— I never said that.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQsm93vVg0
His smile completely melts me. I let myself be guided to the dance floor. The music starts with a soft song. Like every time I'm in contact with Jessy, my heart starts racing. Without thinking, I put my arms around his neck, while he places his hands on my waist. Soon my head is resting on his shoulder. I breathe in its sweet and intoxicating scent, a mixture of flower soaps and aftershave. I feel wonderful, everything is so natural with him. But he stops abruptly. His gaze is focused on a girl, small in stature, with bobbed red hair, who turns her back to us and is chatting with friends a few steps from us.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnucRqKGfy
Jessy doesn't take his eyes off her as I feel his shoulders tense.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV07392qO7m
— What is…312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9po8n9b67
The girl turns around, revealing her face to us. Jessy takes a deep breath before turning his attention back to me.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzUIoBgaFL
— I need to get some fresh air, he tells me, white as a sheet.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkPHAZDdyY
We push through the crowd to the parking lot where he takes a deep breath. A cold wind rose, carrying with it the dead leaves from the trees to our feet.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FjnJ0h9BL
We lean against a car.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLvDZDOHrg
— Why are you shaking ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoWeJak6sYf
I question him timidly.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jneFLIMaz
— I don't really want to talk about it.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyRWKHERsx
— But you are livid ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkrHFz2eeE
— I don't want to talk about it. Let's forget that, okay ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9FcoiVFgz
— Agree as you like.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ372jk3sI4C
He raises a questioning eyebrow at my resolve. It's not like me to give up so quickly. Usually, I insist that he talks to me, but now, I'm afraid to know the truth.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMiW9liW7X
— Shall we go back ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGvWTMR336
— Yeah, I think it's better after all that.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfG3ICEPqJ
We set off. The high school is only a few blocks from our homes.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8diiM280hm
— All that ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAldaOarWt
— Between the clairvoyant, Chad and Amy…312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAO5qqoMvmG
— And your latest conquest, I tell him, not being able to contain the feeling of jealousy that has invaded me since he saw this girl.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMhRBzsqoj
Jessy turns to me.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfw2oOlXsa
— It's not what you think. I thought it was Haley... The girl who gave me AIDS.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEw8YDFeVj0
— Every time you talked to me about the virus, you told me you were handling it all. But after seeing your reaction tonight, I think you're handling things the wrong way. You didn't solve the problem with her. I think you should see her again, or at least talk to her.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8uq8vGYsj
— I don't see how that would help me. You know, it was just an adventure, but one that I will regret for the rest of my life... — Think about it.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqyKQlU7tT
He nods silently.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQfHnjNVWl
I don't add anything. It's his story, and only he knows whether he wants to look straight ahead after settling his scores, or stay immersed in a past that gnaws at him.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtxkgHY7nN
312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XVEFa9J8t
312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PWOaDZVPU
The next day is Sunday; dressed in my coat, a scarf and my gloves, I leave my house, determined to face the morning cold which has suddenly fallen on the region.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvKrplhu2T
A black car stops next to me.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIoJV4l3dhG
— Hey, a familiar voice calls out to me.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZ2giWjxHc
— Hi. Jessy, do you have a car ? ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqAhgIsBV0
— Eh yes ! I've been talking to my mom about it for a while, and this morning she came back with it. She was so happy to see me out of the house ! You come ? I'll take you.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUnMS3Ruu5
He starts and, quickly, I see that he is heading towards the highway ramp.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPU4Ub8BOc
— Where are we going ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudYwamzHQf
— It's coming ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTGPgf5kAi
— At the cinema ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRYwBYVLm8
— Non. 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hxmUgkV8S
— Take a walk in the forest ? No, that's not the road. So, maybe visit a museum ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DwxRBBUHr
— No. You'll see, it's a surprise, and he gives me a big, innocent smile.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSGJPVS9jC
— OK, anyway, wherever it is, I'm up for it.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFSHLt3sqo
— Your parents won't be worried ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuAQJOuQ5j
— I told them I was going to see you. They suspect that I'm going to spend the day with you.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFXro10dGt
— And that's going to be the case, because we're not going very close. I don't think we'll be back until tonight.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRn7vuKZFz
Still want to come ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jOIjur0uh
He gets onto the highway.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdviEwq1e8
— Totally ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugXWmbF5j4
— I want to show you Allentown. Today, we are going to walk in the footsteps of my past...312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEQXFhuMbo
312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIok15RxEV
312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFrokbJ8Py
After driving for almost three hours, Jessy parks in a small suburban street that seems very nice. All the houses are undoubtedly owned by wealthy people.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcbQCaDLvV
— We have arrived, he declares, getting out of the car.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwbXe8xFei
I'm happy that he trusts me enough to show me the places that mattered to him. I get out and look at the house we are parked in front of. It is a single storey white villa with a well kept lawn. Large bay windows let the sun shine through, and a solid oak door welcomes visitors via a small path which splits the lawn into two parts.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDuNi1P635
— Is this where you lived ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuJiEhn5v8
Jessy has an enigmatic smile.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZrB8HQLU5
— No, it’s not my place. We're at Haley's.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1hc1GMTME
He gestures with his chin towards the beautiful house. I suddenly have a pit in my stomach.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDIUc32xbj
— What ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55VtvRZZRn
— I found her, it was very easy, actually. She told me her name and what neighborhood she lived in, a call to telephone information was enough.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28UlUipjB6
He leans back in his car, staring at the house like he can see through the walls. Little by little, his enthusiasm seems to diminish. His face turns pale...312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCy2ToFF3C
Suddenly, Jessy comes around the car and announces to me : 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jJ2JP1qkP
— Come on, let’s go.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmHywkbpVC
I remain stunned.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2fcb0J8iB
— Oh no, we didn’t come all this way to leave now. You need to go talk to him ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvT8t62TCJ
He stares at me, his face frozen.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwJtm9WYzw
— I am scared.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViQdhdZnNX
— I know, but if you don't go, you'll be left with everything that's on your heart for a long time to come. You need to move forward Jessy, you can't stay stuck with all these emotions.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJswDcvNkHx
He nods and, taking a deep breath, heads towards the house. I see him approaching the door, taking the small gravel path. I'm afraid for him. It rings and only waits a few seconds before the door opens. Jessy enters. I'm not really thrilled that he's seeing one of his ex girlfriends again. What if he fell back into her arms ? This scares me as much as imagining him screaming horrors at him.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLb1bXsIXh
After all, she is HIV positive, he could perfectly well have a real relationship with her. Not just a friendship like with me. Now I'm almost wishing I was sick, my God, I'm really going crazy ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLz2rLRu3F
During his absence, I also wonder about his behavior. Just the day before, when we talked about the clairvoyant's words, he repeated to me that he had nothing to offer a woman who, in any case, would quickly tire of only being able to kiss him. I managed to tell him that some relationships go beyond that. But he remained firm in his positions. Lost in my thoughts, I don't see him coming back. I jump when he opens the driver's side door and slides behind the wheel. I see right away that it's not going well. He is even paler than when he went to ring the bell, and his hands are clinging to the steering wheel as if his life depended on it. His whole body is shaking. I feel him at the end of his nerves even though he tries to control himself. I ask him half— heartedly : 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LEZOEKugU
— Did it go wrong ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfvISRwoid
— It was his mother who opened the door to me...312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdDFzZRKdZ
His face expresses such hatred that I immediately think of the evening on the bridge when he was hanging above the void, screaming. I would bet that at this very moment, he would let himself fall under the wheels of vehicles rather than live another minute on this Earth. He struggles to speak, but I don't do anything to rush him.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAWZMqBxCu
— Haley died five months ago.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkm39zjliy
I immediately understand the dark thoughts going through his head at that precise moment.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUASSmgjo3C
— Is that all his mother told you ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkI5OyRlS2F
— Oh no, he gets angry. She told me she is sorry that her child infected me ! She also gave me a letter that Haley wrote to me before she died. We're getting out of here ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3FTKDVewJ
He starts off with a bang and rushes through the streets which, apparently, hold no secrets for him.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDeySSq7Pj
— Jessy, please slow down a little, you’re scaring me.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYbLgNrsvZ
He doesn't respond, but I notice that he raises his foot. He drives like this for several minutes, in silence. We enter downtown Allentown. He takes the main artery then branches off several times before stopping abruptly in a small street. On either side, tall buildings block out most of the daylight. Along the buildings with their gray walls, rusty iron fire escapes make the place even more sinister.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThshiWO2YV
Jessy gets out of the car and slams the door. I'm. I am so afraid that he will try to end his life. He walks to the center of the street, where metal garbage containers are piled up, and hits them with all his might several times.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlSSwXOL5K
— Jessy, please calm down, I’m begging you.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoZQcGkL7y
— For what ? Can you tell me what all this is for ? What's the point of living ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mJmtAOoyK
— Stopped. (I place myself between him and the trash can on which he pours all his anger.) You are alive ! You hear me ? Are you still alive ! And by the time the disease breaks out, perhaps doctors will have found a treatment. But the force you put into hitting this container, you have to put into fighting yourself.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iRIboDgtP
— But why ? What is keeping me on this planet ? Don't you understand that I'm going to end up like Haley ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlSCoQMPVf
He pushes me away with one arm before knocking again.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx58SP6DVXL
Soon his fist is bloody.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yRiyQvpnY
— But why are you hitting this trash can ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbMjQNHb0q
— Because I'm angry, and even then, angry is an understatement for what I feel.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnBwXbtj5x
— For what ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52ESjUiqmG
He, usually so secretive, finally decides to confide in me while now kicking the poor trash can.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCLp3VdGvp
— This is the place where my life changed, he said to me, out of breath.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBNy61I6PH
He stops knocking and points to a spot near the right wall, a little further away.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWrW3z1ToZ
— Do you see there ? This is the place where my father, my real father, died. He was killed by a local gang who wanted to steal his money, they dragged him here before shooting him. When I was little, I was terrified of losing my parents. I don’t know where this anxiety came from, it was unreasonable, it woke me up at night. My father reassured me, constantly telling me that he would always be there to protect me, and when I was five, suddenly, he was no longer there. He let me down. He didn't protect me ! Things would have been very different if he were still here. And now Haley is gone ! And it pisses me off because, even if it’s wrong, I would have liked to scream at him with all the rage I have in my heart ! And all I have instead is this damn letter ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjX8pOkU59m
He takes the missive out of his coat pocket and shakes it in the air, as if he wants to get rid of it but is unable to.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8Xgl3GtDr
— I understand that well ! But when you calm down, you will want to know what she had to say to you. Your father didn't get to say goodbye to you, Haley did it through these words in this envelope.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5jTPzQiTWK
My voice is choked with sadness. Jessy looks at me, searching in my eyes for the reason for my sudden emotion.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBrhphAy3y
— You’re right, he whispers, looking at the letter still in his hand. I must not condemn her, she was not the only one responsible for what happened that evening, he said more calmly.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtyCFfSV4G
— It's true. She didn't know she was sick at the time. But on the other hand, I can't help but feel relieved that you didn't see her again. I know, it’s awful to think that ! 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBYxsas8N8
I turn away, I don't dare look at him anymore. I just told him about the fear that filled me the first time he mentioned Haley. Even though she infected him, he had a history with her, he was closer to her than he will ever be to me, and it breaks my heart to admit that.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ774gemKpM
Jessy stands in front of me and examines my face.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDSqdNLTLO
— Why do you feel relieved ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92yeM7GVLT
There is no longer any trace of anger in his voice, just curiosity.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEezMvaHSvl
— For nothing, forget it.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBniK51ZHg
— Yes, tell me, he breathes softly. I hesitate, watching his piercing gaze.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnc8vg4hIw
— Because I was afraid you would get back together with her.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjLKKGfA2r
He looks at me, incredulous.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANdwZ4fHrI
— I know..., I continue but I quickly interrupt myself, no longer knowing how to continue without admitting my feelings.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOud5ApHA60
Jessy stares at me for a moment that seems to last forever.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ969r99vjO0
— When you were with Chad, I said to myself : "Nothing will ever happen between us while he can do anything for her. "312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXwzYAlumu
I remain in shock, did he just tell me that he is dying to be with me or was I dreaming ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9G4yum3ea
— I'm not going back with Chad.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJjLeTeqBn
— It's true ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaMyZOA1o2
I nod, grabbing the lapel of his coat.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKl5NbeI6B
— Chad has never been an obstacle between us. He's not the one I want to be with.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcqpG2gVYPo
He wipes his forehead where beads of sweat appear and looks at his damaged hand.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nMO3eyBya
— Actually, I mainly thought that it would scare you to be with me.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtgqXQe9PN
— Maybe you should have asked me ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kqh8NaLKe
I fiddle with a button on his coat.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVsuOML4ge
— It's true.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBUupopB1v
He purses his lips and says : 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ctMbA6xUY
— Do you want to go out with me ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpw0aTCRQV
Finally you decide ! I smile. Of course I want to be with you, that’s all I’ve thought about since we met.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3OjiOoxus
Jessy gives me a big smile.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YzwF6iexK
— I don't know how long I'll stay alive.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU4K8MivteA
— We'll see. We're going to make every day count.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNziTFIkng
— And with Chad, is it definitely over ? Are you sure ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyK6cwDnY0
— Jessy, Chad and I broke up because you came into my life and offered another horizon to my future. When I met you, I realized I never really loved him. He's just a friend. That’s the real reason… At least for me.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6v6vZMV1FR
I hand him some tissues which he wraps around his scratched hand, which has already stopped bleeding. Then he puts his arm around my shoulders, kisses my forehead and leads me towards the car, putting the letter in his coat pocket.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiW1Jm3prkx
— I suspected that I was somewhat responsible for this story, he said, winking at me.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlHX7bh7z9
Suddenly, he hands me the car keys.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQXRwh6gas
— I don't feel like driving after all this, would you like it ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCP8ifW8eO
Too happy to be able to get behind the wheel, I eagerly grab the keys.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEl2fvNnPP6
312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJ75yRQC2l
312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdHTHgvvze
We enter Millisky, the town is deserted at this hour, only the street lights give a semblance of life to the streets. I glance at Jessy, lost in thought. Suddenly, instead of heading towards his house, I change direction and head towards the hill. I can't let him go home like this. Having reached the top, I stop the car. Jessy snaps out of his thoughts and looks around, surprised. He doesn't know this corner of the city where I myself rarely go.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFXN7tm1ibw
— Where are we ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZjYIk7rWd
— Come with me.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2F1mH2mAB
We are on a small dirt road bordered by a security fence. Tall grass protrudes from the slope overlooking the town. Jessy joins me in front of the car, I take his hand and lead him past one of the sumptuous mansions, which offers a perfect view of the sleeping city.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuP7m7UgBhI
— I know you’re not in good spirits and I understand perfectly why, I assure him. I also know that you're waiting until you're alone to read Haley's letter. But I'm not going to let you do it, I don't want you to be upset, alone, in your corner while I'm worrying about you. Please, Jessy, do this for me. I'm not asking you to read it, I just want you to read it in my presence because whatever you think about it, you're going to need support afterwards and I want to be the one to hug you to make sure that everything will be alright.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgumfI1YE8Z
With tears in his eyes, he nods.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxzjqamk96
I move a few steps away to give him his privacy. He takes out the envelope, hesitates for a few seconds then opens it. From the first words he reads, I perceive the change in his expression, he seems to be decomposing. Quickly, I see tears rolling down his cheeks while I hold myself back from going to join him because I feel so bad for him. A few seconds later, he stops reading, leans over to lean on the safety barrier as a loud sob escapes him. I can no longer resist and will hug him. My arms are around his neck, my face on his shoulder.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAzGV38DOY
I'm here, Jessy, I'm here, I whisper in his ear.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75tJWLSIhF
He stands up, turns around and hugs me as if I were the only thing holding him back on earth.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nqwUPqjYR
— Here, he said, handing me the letter.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDAMK8LzDp
— No, it’s meant for you.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOeV3BuU4f
— I don't want to hide anything from you about Haley, not after what you admitted to me earlier.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNcthLm2Fz
Although it bothers me, I grab the paper.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1BsyNxeqB
312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQ9zqcKths
312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsuOKbjuZFD
Jessy, 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuKHfQRiZZ
312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV12WMdlonK
If you are reading this it is because I will no longer be here to speak to you in person. It’s also that you are looking for answers to your questions, explanations. I will try to answer it.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxt2Yo3WIBe
First of all, I wanted to tell you that I am deeply sorry for having infected you. If I had known that I was carrying this virus, I would never have hit on you that evening. As I told you during that famous evening, I wasn't looking for anything serious, yet when I saw you, I liked you straight away. If I left so quickly once we slept together, it was because I could have had feelings for you and coming out of a difficult relationship, I didn't want that.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLK2ucRMjFE
If you are wondering how I became HIV positive, it was precisely this ex that I had such a hard time forgetting who infected me after cheating on me. He didn't know he was sick either.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlzDsLc448
As I write these words to you, I am in the hospital. I don't think I'll get through it. I'm not telling you this to inspire pity, but to tell you that I pray that you never experience the same thing. I sincerely hope that medicine finds a cure before the virus manifests itself. In no case did I want to condemn you to live in this hell, neither you nor the two other boys whom I also infected.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbyZsTgtPEo
I'm going to leave consumed with guilt. I pray that God forgives me, that you will be able to forgive me one day.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQG82yXTUj
312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxEUTUIIBx
Haley 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTit0p2wnQm
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These words upset me because they seem so sincere to me. I turn to Jessy who has wiped his eyes but still seems disturbed.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9et4fP9lt8
— How are you feeling ? I ask him.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBoKl1kfjr
— Sad and relieved at the same time. In fact, I feel like life will never give me any gifts and that every one of my hopes will be disappointed.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ261uY4NqGn
— You are wrong, Jessy. You see that ? I point to Millisky lit up in front of us. This is your life today. It is no longer a dark alley in Allentown, nor even a state of the art residence in which many misfortunes hide. No, your life is here now. As for your future, I don't know what it will be like, just as I don't know my future, but there is one thing I am certain of : I will be with you.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbIrLifuz5
He leans towards me, I kiss him full on the mouth. This time he kisses me back forcefully. His body presses against mine, making me shiver. From my lips, he lets his mouth slide slowly down to my neck. I savor this kiss, this desire that pushes me to want him ever closer to me. Then he takes my mouth again with a mixture of tenderness and eagerness. With the tip of his tongue, he parts my lips, his tongue caresses mine while he sucks in my breath. No boy, no even Chad has never kissed me like that. I feel faint in his arms, my legs have difficulty supporting me. He moves slightly away from me, staring at me. I can read in his eyes that I won this first battle, he regained faith in life, in my love for him. For the first time since I've known him, he's happy.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPZXRluptW
Behind us, in the house, the group Divinyls can be heard with their songI’m on your side. 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1y0UQ34ZZp
— Miss Crawfords, will you give me this dance ? 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSvXhzbZ16
He holds out his hand to me. 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKd2XwYVkjN
— With pleasure.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5e3mKSi7r6
« I’m on your side 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3oEf7Ui4Z
You know I’m not the enemy. » 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPL8XMclRf
It's not hot tonight, but sheltered in Jessy's arms, I'm not cold.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ls0AA0uvG
« I love you, babe » rises in the silence of the night.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWCrrbGpRx
Jessy moves back a few inches and looks at me with a mischievous smile.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWd2EFxEC9Y
— So in the end, who won ? The heart or the reason ? He asks me, quoting the words of the clairvoyant.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MQJgpqK3a
– You are the heart, you always have been, I answer him forcefully.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgidXarNvf
« I’ll hold on to you. » 312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoMX0KimTm
This is how, snuggled in each other’s arms, the music rocks us.312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UE13pjHYN
« I love you babe, I love you babe, I’m on your side. »312Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2awBdgA5l
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