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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡif9hEgzgJ3
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7esccGz83
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJfGpjQwic
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14IGZzvz5k
— Ok I hear you.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡea4wHQFBvI
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzyXbsx4Cn
— A tattoo ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxw2tpAvNc
She nods energetically.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbh19yaQmVI
— While you are still a minor ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRy5B7zVfrI
— Soon to be an adult.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEa6fVGwtT5
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZX0E6KvuA
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0h0W9sV9T
— No way ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3xP2wHS9f
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5b46gcBUfK
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9fOYFResi
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznPwinqmMX
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEfcyzumnE
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98kEObULOY
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3YlBkvA3O
— She’s not a cool mother ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUipg7pQMVF
I decide to join them in the kitchen.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5BAPDImfk
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUn9wPOpnT
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgUWQRKSfn
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqlN5H24nW
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqHuDoYTun
My son looks at us, imperturbable.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVimU46criH
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtWdk9eSO4
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPtyaRZThS
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYV2XfMcPv
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gFBnuqCUW
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rmfSe9m0F
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6THwQb4rP4
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQzV5B0BiH
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eyHkhPR0u
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVyEOURy22
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIWoTVmVRQe
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY26zYMBDIf
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqfcD0IBeu
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1M8iffQIc
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFjBT7WBme
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkZwceBz7A
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIeeO41pIM
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGzI6d7oav
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jfWQErMBc
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoU4rtpc7YU
My father coughs and chokes.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1FyRVCcVb
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEB0korrNmS
I nod yes.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEBNXnVQae
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTrWW28lVh
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXsnrjV1tG
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0sEv9buPq
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeWBseoIzn
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKegDWmutR
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡektmRr2lnc
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAz3EsHRUgx
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByAuCXhJkW
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYDL0OXyqPA
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBr9CVfT9HA
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGYvNyJR2hk
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkZcRiUPM1
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalOKcKsZPb
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpzGMWk6KO
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kJ5RIf8wM
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9R1KUiBbn
— Yes Megan.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVZJ0Y6OaO
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRfCk1m6NF
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfPshNvg8H
Many raise their hands including the new one.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD77sm2uDKK
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRAycAxAkWO
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfirdb4qf1
— Perfect, Jessy ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsB3TfXBgfD
Jessy… 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufTEm0zjHK
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5x2QwEqh2s
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lJx7Nc0PQ
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QOF7nFuGb
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJVkcW58a5
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIFd6Fy9ZQ
My cheeks immediately turn red.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25U8SFBhzP
— There is nothing to say.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTU0ycBrTFv
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYxIwsWXlG
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsab71Xvkt
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvb3q1chdN
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhmCueIH2p
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36blXh6mu8
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡma7vBO4qmu
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNI2uFeXWS9
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTiZls9c0i
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMSbWqs1KD
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuNa15W2AX
— I learned a few things about him...455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsu0OB9Nfv6
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8vVOuycth
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojbt8h5YYm
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMIkh01YhR
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6Zho8mSPq
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHk7j5G8vP
When I don't answer, he continues : 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfs74BpmdX
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Hbu5cMaPS
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGcGni5B2q
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡll13ykiibG
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIfFE2GnhF
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHbXZtpNFc
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSjgS1qyde
Why am I blushing ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVE0O1VHjN
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnV6iOknSHe
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCaAFkSiYZ
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nZXaJ6YOg
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BEMoSJ3ux
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUjDvfM3qD
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrssE6Jkmf
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbqvallqpf
— Where were you ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JGOSxdxyj
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP02cqfJhEa
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqy1zfVICR
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKI6G2WzYn9
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRb0OupyKVk
— This guy is weird ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHoOarOZTmA
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zsrCyYdQg
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcW1PZjnb6
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ksYWDBXBp
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZknzy15VK
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsWtp3DB8h
— I am coming with you.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzyUyf2Mk0
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkglIzvj2ta
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgm4o4ib1U3
My boyfriend raises his voice.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLB3Y5pQoAL
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9Nzj7DDE9
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWvL9ayAx6
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2u2WYBD0A3
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvF3Jh36BtZ
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0Wvm2xKiy
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOttoQLgdDR
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVxUd4D4K4
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtH4ZQUfPV
Having little choice, I accept.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZdsxVb1Ye
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Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiOxeIjMPv
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5Nm2CKzVZ
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWusrMZxK2
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqVOnWNM1F
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIzMNVEKV0
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ViCnItov1
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxaV6Df6sBN
— What are you talking about ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8hKH4OQNb
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXg46ZYwWn
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSWH3okXjc
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOB7ydppsXf
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VKh0i7UpT
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWRhVilvaO
— I'm going back.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GBTHRPugo
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkuLsfdQTk
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLh6JdfTPi
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPYlZyvo0D
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXM7ZDTZC42
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSF0smRcvh
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTScftMpa8
— I need to walk...455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVs0s7M8xX
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODMGvKyZvw
It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRavQG4WmJ
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGulOXfJVh
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jGuYpzjM1
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKVeLaLEjI
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZrslPWDbj
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0R676TDy1
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡin5cP1SvoH
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaPWygnDWe
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqoEYMxY9z
I look at him, surprised.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDlwxOM120
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rZ1XRxItF
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCVqo8w6Rg
— You're good ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNh89PDWOhe
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2Ux2Vj9cA
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJqFMoAqjD
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGAlW8ujaE
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdWDoImo0M
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsq3MiYhqZH
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EzkRtSzzn
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvVfrNJaBU
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUDbU7t4Y6
— Did this happen to you too ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvS8lw3QKnH
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoZ8rRngsi
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYnwSat1sl
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRjF5Q05aAA
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhd3FoT2FH
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWfOnb4jyy
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsjWypEHFp
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcobUhPAmy
— I see in you.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoTC8ZuC7C
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQJuJdUCN9
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIxbXcYpsfy
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpeKgd9XwN
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5wT5NXV92
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The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtDzoVr84c
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwptgZNovDj
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnxFF1TfB0
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTrxO6g4dF
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNobd2JG9Z3
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdnTLZcAIP
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Tr1my2F0c
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgQvfl0Lkt
Immediately, boos are heard.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiV2zvA9Sv
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiz2elI4bSE
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9UzLhBCEL
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuXNDjIg0o
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fQrBverrc
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT61E47HN5d
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4lDb2mAO1E
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHvebA8shP
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKk2etXZoU
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3fLyUtuxE
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkJMkhWxC9
— Jessy, wait ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37GkSoZ85S
He slows down, but doesn't stop.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE91TcjbCmA
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3ercHBzIg
His shoulders relax and he exhales.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjljgveOlV7
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUrRAY2XpV
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9RQ051NOM
— I'm not…455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvp97XIn2B
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0R0H5LoVvW
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLdvdOwHc0z
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCu0jxx4YoU
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7KOvYiCGs
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSRBX35Trx
Why didn't I think of that ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6O7pHJlZd
I refrain from slapping myself.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVnzRlBtpW
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKmHBKyOOS
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJ8US5jtl7
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRQopDbeN9
But what is happening to me ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1CUa8DdaD
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIUVynUIVM
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOScQ9Q14J9
What's going on with Jessy ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DTIbbmzIG
Astonished, I wrote : 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4do6X9NJi5
What ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRRFWqvyYG
Chad's response was quick : 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5QgCg9EIH
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ737kLbn6u3
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZYmhARt2j
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGy78T53IOU
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uZfoDD0hx
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmEAYfetDG
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWKgqa57Ku
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At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyt49IyUAa
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEcRvPiVXT
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukIb475hCQ
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGREXHeCLbv
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpigkJqJ3h1
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1KLmA2ToZ
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeSorYgeeC
I am left speechless.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIoGL7kOXCa
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKMEGQ0Mht
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGWnNeL96L
— Very often. I hurt you ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEg71K1ivw
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUYiWYQcge
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYEruBWLQ0
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzUCqCiW2X
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6enI0zT67z
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHARkY3sd4
— Mom, this is Jessy.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gHLuja2yu
They greet each other.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNzlP4tVbV
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2sFsmMlIs
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oJS7t5DQN
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmzhgA1lJQ
He shrugs his shoulders.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnK2r1DjIM
— I don't want to bother you…455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0MgbrE3y2
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcqMRoaTPv
— Nicolas is my older brother…455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrex43hwqQ7
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTwMdaQiAd
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrqGGKOnZP
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvWnvRvtis
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYMOA4VX8b
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJe0cv1EwB4
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrjBZ4hQab
— For what ? I tell the truth.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUDfn2gwAy
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSKeV1doLp
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrna5tDvVyN
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7UZ5P8uAl
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAIGgJ26sM
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyH9ER8KGw
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKL5ijmqRq
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfOyNtowrc
I glance at him sideways, smiling.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFhUSdbAnb
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zl7b5JrtI
— Not really.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cVOYktrHG
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cz6XBX6ae
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXsMc1Z9KJ
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYnKw16rL4
— You think that…455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyxXUFsKFB
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ti01sVTNL
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6mVFkDBb9
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Drve9swP8
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UJThTvBgu
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHi8yPSiSN
— Megan ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DYd18ZHyk
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPOgbyJD4L
— I am sure of it ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKVCyA9FAX
I give him a big smile.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jJLHaSrV0
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86iDbw3zX0
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtuFJ8Jtll
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBTH3LnHog
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5nywFECQD
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqejkLBmPSd
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wh9F6zP9x
— Did you move here alone ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSxrfykPmX
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BuH4NxYNt
— No, I live with my mother.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIO7TwPQ17T
— And your father ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggudoiGM2G
— My father died when I was a kid.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjnTVEEgWi
— Sorry.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIMKd6lVK3
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOTYKirCo7
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQZaLoX6or
Jessy grimace. 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hlHcOnZd8
— No, they stayed in Allentown.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGb3yHEpwx
— For what ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRrg74ivPy
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn510ZnwHAB
— Joker ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzkoLv0Zyu
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKRfWABZ28
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0c21eZPOYf
— Re joker ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdW1MKDGz9Z
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRAsEiT6Xo
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeoDVhHc5Xn
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bUTxhtWXJ
Looking serious, he nods.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhq2SpJ13p
— So you’re from Allentown ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡus3WXrK5Zk
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnK1UYMeRN0
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2HbebBO2R
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEEaZzkPc2
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUcIGrBVMk
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoGMmH5stu
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoH2DPftnv
I blush and lower my head.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKVyuekfLI
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtL95Fufwn
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPgU9Xuna1
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOiWQkY1nO
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCXe78vdZn
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gWYdTqIB0
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesBvwEXxeb
— You still have ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsu9gMcG9G2
— Well no, we split up...455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQLFGMuBLg
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRr4JKpj1u
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5XEoXgQty
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5udXyCDQ6
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RDhR1sqhK
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKScgM9Lkx
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkajoun2VE
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStSy7NKSVo
He glares at me.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKLU91caOy
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIVy8dTv1W
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaADpYpFe8
— So where is the problem ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZVqNuLUxH
— I can not do that.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbedpOhde6o
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQRkagY2oU
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3phhO9Aoip
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrCGLaQnrb
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjLAmaFBx8
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1G2jzhp1hG
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUeOcR3UIZ
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6i6sQj744
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZm7CLlUyjz
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWYQdCHvrm
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrn31dcP2Qq
455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgiZUtrdf1
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When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzU6OkHOyqW
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ILLoDND1o
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXJxZmzccS
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqboDlOoKmQ
— Hello ? he says, happily.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv93hXvPwel
— Nick, it’s me.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUTxib5Cch
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1icrqPM8J
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0EOIhKq4M
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwxIz3Nawg
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwS684iT7j
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZJ22Grepr
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXURVgZclHq
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMovIbEPsj
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsS9eIyaVv
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQw8E6dowzi
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs1tIFGijJx
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZZzlR05rC
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQB0lJ2V3G
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClyR5KDI1L
— I wouldn't be able to.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOLnl947gn
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8c0reVJXom
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeVerv9a5j
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKTJivTIsO
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fiUu2rgPQ
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.455Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVs7CsWEEw2
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.
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