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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2dvGGt8XU
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTh1cUsJlg
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcgEHSr9JC
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡweB7FER3PA
— Ok I hear you.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0bt0dDvqm
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUH3fOCtyni
— A tattoo ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBORbXCDYm6
She nods energetically.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4a40NKu6lV
— While you are still a minor ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Lm2hy5duB
— Soon to be an adult.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQpSjweeWr
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7wArj7uIg1
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBFbpm7GHQ
— No way ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GAIXFaOPJ
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNEN2ziokF
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbUHtT3qmA
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HBM1eXdxa
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡba8YCBWBOY
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5a7btu6Sq
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKpzx1VoAK
— She’s not a cool mother ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37mu5TaNYa
I decide to join them in the kitchen.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlI09dM1cGz
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCCcIftriw
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtl1QTceJQ
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFb6VA2yMsu
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0IzP4he9s
My son looks at us, imperturbable.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIDTe9GZ3N
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLzH76yHEn
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuTlnp3BvJ
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6eXzJn5g2
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjt2sYFtAYn
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoCGC7tySJ
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY24jWp0nWo
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgg2LScAY9
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZKuz5waCn
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0P6O7xLJA
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqPDHTSofT
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5Y1nu3mtX
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlcCvxzcah
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡni8Rj45sSA
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLEtzZjGRp
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQIeyVXlhI
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oFDMBXtSb
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXX6m2xWopc
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MjfnUBhrY
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUObLlI8We
My father coughs and chokes.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOeI8zYXvk
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekMo0CeBaO
I nod yes.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDB88ElRjpy
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDzPI7FAGh
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtKJRqOeMGg
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpPLwb0MbC
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2R8WLH7PE
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgP6rSfXscu
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrrefIH9JQ
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡao5kNxSj8o
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0wpFSQtPE
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMJOebrHQQ
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUvOq0n7ndB
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfuPyD8qgW
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uvNBNJbjz
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG36NDN22Wj
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFiXfWbowA
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONgEXoG4Zf
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJyQ0OH1akl
— Yes Megan.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm83kDobzGu
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1l9oYemuL
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfyS6U4vhZ
Many raise their hands including the new one.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFmiRS01OU
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04TBdffHKI
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vG017kdOq
— Perfect, Jessy ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDqvCcNKas
Jessy… 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iHxX0Tr5X
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoIgDBdiGl2
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkb5ILGWrT
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqRGJp8803
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAzvyTQAG3
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmO1XxhQ5jH
My cheeks immediately turn red.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6X2WfBpGU
— There is nothing to say.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUE0MZUUHa
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRswDiMdzg
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegTmJQ6bqY
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHAl3AixxA
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5JR6FrIG8
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvxwosDZuy
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7jeQlgzzy
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTk2Z7lMEP
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFt6ZDvguYw
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXEtnPiTkH
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3Yv9GvJ2B
— I learned a few things about him...909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCHj9J9aWt
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4Avz3ESb9
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3oYTyPTVH
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dKbB16Qxa
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihgH2GPeTz
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIASSJbK68
When I don't answer, he continues : 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVDNd5odt5
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhC4vhcxFB
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBnSP9TQk2
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsnN9qJjuH
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3rGpxBdPm
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShbAkl3g3c
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyWd1DR1i4
Why am I blushing ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxnppr5R8b
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLT3TPyMv0r
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8OpCLcemD
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAxxYgeGOIX
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsuVEMvnOtb
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQeqipQutyD
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYiDNy5NSJ
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Gb6Y03PwI
— Where were you ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUte0F6SbZz
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GoyeDW7Da
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgCab0D91E
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRbOWvCENc
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0E2mAoEKe
— This guy is weird ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGewU8ZMOLZ
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fapAWVVeo
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yE57SBC7Z
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ddPJSxeh0
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOgnijLTmL
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzcCxEpCOb
— I am coming with you.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WFrPGZvF8
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CQmaCDQB0
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqasbWFIJDN
My boyfriend raises his voice.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dE1K6heaG
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8WNEYf46I
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZTVjp71u5
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYCJDGqT6y
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXpgd6oSZV
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjB3Vpp6vDO
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡar2jpZqd03
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7MklU58cP
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DaFqSwEiT
Having little choice, I accept.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZt5X8qoi8
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Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZg4iqodUt
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZyHVEJ2AU
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFLOfd0GWwW
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBla5s1k7O
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkBWwjjpjb
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJTxQ9M2CI
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOiasRrnRy
— What are you talking about ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhIelvOGFu
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKp4WMIjZCh
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1DX4lW1hl
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVlhDrlf4H
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSezz0Yote6
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1w45KBaPo
— I'm going back.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCWlMzQukj
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TtChf20R7
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgzQz9cKYX
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3r9ZNnZ2Wb
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYOBwdP8kM
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDdFuITRP1
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPVWxNRixE
— I need to walk...909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY31GEJFEOj
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It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCp6I2VZHi
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4VqGTNfmD
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPoBhuVxlp
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrZrCYNuTa
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgK80EiT02
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoM0xwsAzCY
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5nWRTOCEc
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHVYsGB6k8
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzf3UG18Tl
I look at him, surprised.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mchdn9DiW
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPw3CsoVKP
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqJuzj4xeo
— You're good ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuxMpTSkhh
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwn0mnbtugX
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fgTflZOOd
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhiHFBRvsA4
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtL4rzGTEm
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEPVG7Rw8k
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwapJ2SGV9y
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kecHPzpSC
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylzMjDJYuS
— Did this happen to you too ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTR12pJrec
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFoinY909Z
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nOSLfrp2p
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmPWmHmTQh
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXPX2O5PFc
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ypS4ZC0a4
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNwNllUZ8E
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQkKP4oSJN
— I see in you.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqJm5lS6Vs
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUwmMof2lk
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5t1Y429Iv
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbjAuuqQCH
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909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXL0MQCNtL
The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcPDjEgN5P
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvizz77yRft
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgBs8zDh27
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5BUA634NZ
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRoYEZCTh6O
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XQHhNBxaj
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgu2KKth2gv
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ilEq24sfK
Immediately, boos are heard.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8EUbPZhzM
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDaIBKSl8an
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJUZ9IuFnm
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpY2zQF2UW
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmN3HHMMK1
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGRvWTalqL
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡut08CHStC7
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoF2uEwfUXM
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6cRBXL6RBd
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdl3i4gwoC
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueFtqo2182
— Jessy, wait ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqU6dJVdRN
He slows down, but doesn't stop.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafw6kKA5WQ
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYpWmoyJYvP
His shoulders relax and he exhales.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEmkR7KABy
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLgAT2ct5h
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6HFLVPd2Y
— I'm not…909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKddNE9rgK0
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtC4G2o8dgB
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zCQWkQTto
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmmvu3RNp8
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLMUqRJBFX
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MfAXBj1hF
Why didn't I think of that ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaXhulfjjt
I refrain from slapping myself.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5dEOJgDxm
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUMyMGm8F7
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSA9c3QCAls
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEe5ZOjxQK
But what is happening to me ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGoajBUJ7b
909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUx8zm6ILaU
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SorauEEh6
What's going on with Jessy ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcakXjwXTi
Astonished, I wrote : 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2fNQGkI7ON
What ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARcvKTCfe7
Chad's response was quick : 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsOtlKXxr6
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8SWFqzZHJ
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXhPPSVYTX
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLhwo4FFLZ
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4SrtHuuAy
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2utsArvJ5u
909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwogI8L4el
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At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTluNX2gMW0
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTV4rKRykg
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVsl0BbuWn
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvVZJStalD
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbub4sUcfZ3
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BNj5NYiSA
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBg5zAkUCdq
I am left speechless.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzpe9mPATk
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCi84yiBLBL
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡreWGyOXHbX
— Very often. I hurt you ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAukNMAPJV4
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1K69cDSsCG
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡll52LHkDwz
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7Aa4aeoRc
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbppVa8Hi7C
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5cyBfcbIT
— Mom, this is Jessy.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tWmT7EcYn
They greet each other.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmItNfBjDZ2
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKGpLc21YY
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5E5DvuBgnI
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwWqkGLeC8
He shrugs his shoulders.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEVa6QrcmG
— I don't want to bother you…909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ754neNmrop
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmnVifDCbm
— Nicolas is my older brother…909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqjmeGEnE1
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsg0qmGGx44
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKWjGZtJ2g
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1Wn7bC444
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbotnLUaAQ
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11DI4NbWDj
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVxpDIGKkv
— For what ? I tell the truth.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8mjeB91Et
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHj9aAUXfz0
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTeH0eb3TV
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54uswbrLKb
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxr3BfGxrt
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEv7g3kRzL
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrM3HaNNZ4h
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQcTAbyEv4
I glance at him sideways, smiling.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9JYEU29lD
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡez35RXbiO8
— Not really.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMOLajOx1O
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnEak8Zk0T
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhOzKSgsOP
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDlIVs3OUJ
— You think that…909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhWtfom8E0
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkP5NZS9mj
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycanFGzowI
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NGUxQKwDN
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OHBmM8F4j
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcTfLplAcHN
— Megan ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJIl9gssra
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOqE1qqh9k
— I am sure of it ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94ftxter5R
I give him a big smile.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZLuwyEe1J
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiobDozsIA
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkFCviDici
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnmD9FsXkT
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2M5tbE49o
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSY2uHIaKXj
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHcrwhSv3o
— Did you move here alone ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqM17yKbIED
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghWZriuLfu
— No, I live with my mother.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2L7oM8Z5A6
— And your father ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsFLonK1dH
— My father died when I was a kid.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdJb95jEKM
— Sorry.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Qi50ii7ok
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCnWdK0oYu
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSv7ZyyxQJ
Jessy grimace. 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXCNsgqcZh
— No, they stayed in Allentown.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYnPzJ4kmj
— For what ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN81BAdmmoQ
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGiXTzciP7
— Joker ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQlgQ0PBwg
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxG8rElMYRx
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8xwuXN1XK
— Re joker ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gNzJNJqjP
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkS9S8kqRm
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqZC0BQG9g
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuHATK9VyH
Looking serious, he nods.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocjmmz04e5
— So you’re from Allentown ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fRmY5aTwW
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqllcnX08M6
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2zicztLgF
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggylkm0B6N
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHC7qjPm4T
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TZBhp7qoE
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMQ6spxKax
I blush and lower my head.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqOE1ep1wE
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRcjzBI9CM
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5srahQtiD
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6WmDlz724
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLND6lc9b3T
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLEpjVfpIc
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxi4uVglPfV
— You still have ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQSZLEM84H
— Well no, we split up...909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc42ktJTIk0
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotJSbq69xn
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8LBxYJtZ9
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2cnK3xrec
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWICbdnhg5u
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZbDvJVm9m
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYZMQ32Amy
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8vlhf2D1S
He glares at me.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uZ7SDCwRm
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNmQRbI9Jy
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUrzpG294d
— So where is the problem ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwSeAXYz5v
— I can not do that.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBA1CtJ2c7Z
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6P15bSryFW
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2E2ulr4Bh
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbIVdRqzBw
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOZDRVjt0V
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5tu9moXLZ
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXGur8XAhP
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmS4ewCVy2F
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡob58R3Oxya
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uSprXEgf4
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2C7Dv3Jq7r
909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNcZISdz5e
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When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8kWsWyoij
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuyjdOSRJs
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpNg68c7Ld
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8AhEDhNtV
— Hello ? he says, happily.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3qBsj2iaJ
— Nick, it’s me.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiZkXiOCoD
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelOJ5zBqLZ
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6pdABL2cj4
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqqoU0Jlx1
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDAN6ZO6Wj
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNbi9beXix
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCV1kBpjr3
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ403h3XGM16
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2Xm8Z4hGc
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaYFNyUif4
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkHJJPbBue
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTg7tS4WXjm
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WhLQuE6EM
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbxVsxnH0e
— I wouldn't be able to.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KGxH6Qkwr
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5D8FmoIJD
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOAkHy1TmL
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbssDVU7jw
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSHya9FKwx
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.909Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrfylBPYcv
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.
and then Add to home screen.