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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqf13mTXII
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowXdtQDuxu
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKKN401jAi
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxD2j7Xofhi
— Ok I hear you.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUAZjBDmBJ
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOR6Rju12Y
— A tattoo ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6oJ9mpUx2
She nods energetically.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbDWGnYEJw
— While you are still a minor ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPwmowfvc9
— Soon to be an adult.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVANS5PTsV
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMA4L3wwWn
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXUKnJhUbs
— No way ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq1aWZzo8AU
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHEWUtMZTG
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDnfS5r3AO
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYvqXnCR5v
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMj7vSftmIA
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPj30ZAxSaS
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOxNRkbQq0
— She’s not a cool mother ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPxj9hC63l
I decide to join them in the kitchen.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGHAh7Z4ZM
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOalMPENg31
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjd2XSSdxs
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMxLRAYUYq
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmEl6lpth9
My son looks at us, imperturbable.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5VgE4RR0t
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTt5jbyRx0Y
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCwJ4gypI1
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLQSpanLVK
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszs7ZSFTmD
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53YTyfHQwF
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6X8qVdjsp0
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ755qw9pTC3
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgQqdeUiyD
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXO1fdKvTgY
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWB2bACcte
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLR6iNQDSwu
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfTfBUogWC7
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5nuRlSJnl
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4To6ZJb5Q
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20hk0pPWdV
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZoras3aAG
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy25dRF8Svs
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBi2uxofFRg
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5J9cwz3SW2
My father coughs and chokes.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWpXmvOrvc
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64XnwqV02Q
I nod yes.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvCnwJbPkP
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84hb0xlsve
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkznq9uf0Xx
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EHy8VFR88
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1oqOGg9i7
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdIqSYcwuam
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxgRUOavpE
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAarAyZYJWb
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXaLZNyA6K5
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupxwns72Og
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaEAQxnTTC
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8U8h3hnZoq
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09MJUcpZ9p
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZY8wOTAnFb
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOV2ZzyV2f5
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4EC1mInuf
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEV0Qj4mhi
— Yes Megan.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡao1KpYwLuy
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyaIs67L30
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ525UrXOqVK
Many raise their hands including the new one.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbl14BlpSud
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPCB53rZqL
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZU58Ze3NP
— Perfect, Jessy ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlPAvOjsha
Jessy… 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9grmrSiKLB
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPh7hTXiFym
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBC5szri6v
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWNFt4NK6n
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbTg8XTky7
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVD9UZH98I
My cheeks immediately turn red.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RPFtXdMQR
— There is nothing to say.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmm1kwvwoi0
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRzRq7sn9G
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BkGsDtR8k
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCVKRbKMXW
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoNISh5NYK
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY17WThl9Zj
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7W1Sj3dx2m
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pX6urFrL2
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡViH743MKl1
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmVpi5608V
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxml661Rt7o
— I learned a few things about him...418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJk9hkvo7J
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqosGdkuUi
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHim8mniSCK
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zvxcj2avQ
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4PZUIBNmG
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqGe4dN6qA
When I don't answer, he continues : 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXebh85La0L
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrx2f38Ss8
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspSl3tJf9h
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHV7AmcbDSx
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJjVDmxr2r
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9CdVXXzjJ
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMreO4WyJm
Why am I blushing ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKPZLzX05v
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZ4GqVWPIu
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzENiWLXnhI
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqFIF3h6NE
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCfxAORBA4
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡATDPYOtGyj
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5WmLODDYw
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFhc6GE4SY
— Where were you ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAI47R4XwKG
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfbURxX3vO
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsouZIJ4059
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3yRgHZM89
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlZraONxs6
— This guy is weird ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20BTveCifW
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJW4y27qQD
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNqRy1rh4O
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmG02WiPRQ
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QjzVYZ2QA
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhCTYLPpzr
— I am coming with you.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCdoZ36faTc
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoueSbSNS3
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIbYWE8K2n
My boyfriend raises his voice.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVP2Z4iI8X
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDXm9WmE5y
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AL2aoif15
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkXJx40sFW
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RkPAt9oo6
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBvAZbSO96
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUbryRgUCe
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTj2fI6haLj
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUDwYf4JDD
Having little choice, I accept.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxE8OMjO7EQ
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Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHr90Y5ZlC
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMeGAihRC8O
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvBuIYllcp
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqjgnafEM4
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4y3PRuwd8
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRStew24XQP
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOScMUvjZre
— What are you talking about ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8OD2Rhhzg
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeq2FQyeWfj
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSfIGQ38jH
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHA0pu6UXbm
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEyzXQKqdYa
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJCF6qdbyJ
— I'm going back.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJf5PGoB0zd
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaLffdJRjQ
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtfsXoApzI
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvS3DCYo4qn
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4jCnmEUVm
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvHE87oVJd
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYCWzUqYxU
— I need to walk...418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5e0X0Vh7p
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It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnhqN4xWcN
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwv4PmHF7v
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9SfXR4gx0
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzin0W1eO4
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1t7YC6G6H
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuc6WA8yb7o
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13gxjh8nTN
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzgdwqSseq
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXD8Vr3zi0
I look at him, surprised.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6cHGC8veg
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyZ0d46J4I
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmvmiPmiLz
— You're good ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGjigsS9uf
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7HudGm6jc
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8P2eo02Tu
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oa5EonXtf
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkMYJ44KcVa
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yzQpQS90Q
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoH6WyrRw9
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNvKoB5CyL
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ596kWSEYDh
— Did this happen to you too ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjZT8mnQlL
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTTCOUBSkD
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2v1TZ9nm6
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0kpZ2Sd73
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYSo18q6XV
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtXd8Cywzm
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDTTPGSfBY
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXTBTyy4Al
— I see in you.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZg0bZIiqoF
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0IAvNiOuDH
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ8TSAvnNrr
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCbOYQHHEE
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfxCMO85gp
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The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡthkjH10Fzy
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiY5Govjmb
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw86ZLeb8Dv
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kjVaanm8u
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSjYaFUsvG
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVe1e4IRcbD
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NtUvhBBCc
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZSVkEXVnv
Immediately, boos are heard.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHMLnhPKb11
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZHzHc1d73
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9u31WpLSwF
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11Ow0PSrxt
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDGX1vR4hm
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOF3Di2GowO
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx4T7BIqNUS
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDmYMtaFVz
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9E0yKQiE8v
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiouX0kECny
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnBqRXbww6
— Jessy, wait ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7P762HbWup
He slows down, but doesn't stop.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUAoJGWEEK
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNctr5gZfin
His shoulders relax and he exhales.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpeqNF5pphc
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ368h0bV3Hk
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAnO4cG3v8
— I'm not…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUZIgRtyMj
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXmMbBn6UI
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNMSu6opuc
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0nQPsyYHn
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC13KJNEtX8
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJC36p4kyOe
Why didn't I think of that ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzQWgiRXXW
I refrain from slapping myself.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdhNsuNDi1
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxEt1l7dSw
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeijvjM83OU
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjX6wp4wET
But what is happening to me ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdb6L2z7zA
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ntcxQKE2P
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiTaYbTf9g
What's going on with Jessy ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBfwd7hsx1
Astonished, I wrote : 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA50sCP63kv
What ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqYle1oKdS
Chad's response was quick : 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBT1XUlK5G1
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUyniHgak0
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfFi5PYLUr
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBd5fZkym0x
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJtIrQeqfH
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUabd9fPTJm
418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCqaykgk9L
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At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJxu8ef74Q
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdIiad5xHJ
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJY9HprOFlG
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5iiuqo5yPn
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3whvf44Cc
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEFXCmT94u
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCc7cjd49kM
I am left speechless.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBddQiESBFi
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxH2O3R9lE
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx45GHxDfzY
— Very often. I hurt you ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsC60nxQ3hn
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaLyklBeS8
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSD0t192fZV
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqxiCtL1vW
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmcZsII8DK
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dVAhRNajz
— Mom, this is Jessy.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99LrK8LFrE
They greet each other.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gaIVx0odh
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHziY6DyUN
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc39AQYnFgn
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBifPWModh
He shrugs his shoulders.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvRU2JPOz7
— I don't want to bother you…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCXSu0utvT
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6eYb41Ne8D
— Nicolas is my older brother…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnM9ygo5pX
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckkkkCl8b0
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOJGSBmOzc
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94NfD44ntL
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCdrY6n63r
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRx1jD9Y80
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuWIul6C2Q
— For what ? I tell the truth.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyW5Xajns0
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOz8kXY46G0
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuzZIoQO9O
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7W9MLtTnPF
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xFOv9jRhK
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3ROgP0uy0
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PKoM4wifE
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNThtdzVuc
I glance at him sideways, smiling.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8hrCMs02d
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LeoNEMRWQ
— Not really.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xDM6exI1i
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpH5Zg5pQLD
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgy5ZRBILid
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5pek9yCY6
— You think that…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxuNM1gpvS
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA29b709Q1G
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQ4RyAOKgj
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DVaO8snyA
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONL5EdxkAD
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8mTevJBnB
— Megan ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0qhnEx5ir
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaSO0gRbIu
— I am sure of it ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOWBSlgvtAg
I give him a big smile.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHunyARtjmX
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKZiYLITRL
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHQ6v5Luab
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvB9Q1nBig
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZD8jDS2I3
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6rNXnEIUO
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5L22PIHeqK
— Did you move here alone ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OmvFJK3Cm
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhE8ksPClgP
— No, I live with my mother.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqHqs1W9Ds
— And your father ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYE8ahuSpy
— My father died when I was a kid.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ697BK2OpLF
— Sorry.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqn6c3rwga
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdaCQOmiTe
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafrP8PBunS
Jessy grimace. 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2T0vF8nxGg
— No, they stayed in Allentown.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvTXYODpRe
— For what ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmifHnvTH5Q
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡww6hhjf2Ck
— Joker ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6JSgrKLh9
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftnvFXffNu
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHaMrjCWry
— Re joker ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpj8a0f1YvI
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0l6RSbaUHC
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmAipgEGiw
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQdtfeueri
Looking serious, he nods.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTJfy75fHD
— So you’re from Allentown ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYJf6sk7BY
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqlUojBuBq
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSI6NqIOIA2
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRf9v65RFbp
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TnedqlbnF
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNNSznhHao
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGCYZsnYok
I blush and lower my head.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIxmUXy943
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDRYWRIoTC
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmNXTH8FUE
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnW9WhAZ0W
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDROC9OLlG
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfh31t8Mk3t
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVcwJKt5vx
— You still have ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJdqxZfrWr
— Well no, we split up...418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42Q0KLWc4E
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEkMxC6QW7
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DPSIIIBz5
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyyrDCgC4m
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFgW0g91w3
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXWzDJXFae
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJFmVfEHVE
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwGnqS3XXh
He glares at me.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqW4QlTRB5H
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpe8fvDRex
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kAPMp7lZx
— So where is the problem ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRaUanxnQo
— I can not do that.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfT68BpIOhn
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXrOJMPl6U
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYt0Z8vuqHu
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAkGTc2Qwe
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGAw9llNX1
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCp7WerwkiI
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOPq1GHdtO
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAV0eUDhlW
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MhM5weCUl
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xzdsj7exc
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ochVQUHLP
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When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6b0UP4fe8b
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevS2isejHY
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IYxpyS4s5
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSWuhfxh8p
— Hello ? he says, happily.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvS8mhvrkr
— Nick, it’s me.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4JIDSjQfL
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL41xqUGGBD
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUCOvUI313
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3mK2bphBI
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcj465PW4vC
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6N38egEIzR
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7G1OOOQ47B
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFmU77njrC
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNSrBsaOGl
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMDPsYV1zH
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvWRi1lwiQ
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BzKahmjJJ
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQWLQjtdAtZ
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Kzzh9Hur1
— I wouldn't be able to.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡax1i7gQK1Y
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4aE2Asva5
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4aflXyeoG
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1Dh7dOhTi
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3ekrgRAaY
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.418Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dd1ealyTv
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.
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