White sheets stained red in a hotel bed84Please respect copyright.PENANA6VlI2zdXus
Skin, ice cold, lying on the bathroom floor alone84Please respect copyright.PENANAAfSUJoudkW
Brains blown out in the shed, stone cold, dead
The basement where I cut off my breathing84Please respect copyright.PENANAOzAQy8t0wM
My bedroom where I died while I'm sleeping84Please respect copyright.PENANAs9FHlRIm8X
Empty pill bottles scattered around my room 84Please respect copyright.PENANAFVqaU8LWwK
Maybe a noose, don't make it loose 84Please respect copyright.PENANACUCayRj2cb
Maybe even a death I didn't choose
I'm stuck with these thoughts in my head84Please respect copyright.PENANA6I8uYsNvKW
Vivid visions invading my rest 84Please respect copyright.PENANAVgZyoA7qXn
I can't sleep because all I see is death84Please respect copyright.PENANAru3DJJoKTR
I can't stay alive because I'm stuck in my head
I'm digging myself an early grave 84Please respect copyright.PENANASiDS4X4l4p
Thinking about death at such an early age84Please respect copyright.PENANAF6fqm18cK6
Part of me strives for the moment when the earth lies above my head 84Please respect copyright.PENANAJgll48ARvF
The moment I'm dead is the day I'll rest84Please respect copyright.PENANAtwhpB2O9H5
No more fighting an uphill battle that never seems to end 84Please respect copyright.PENANAYgWFempa6j
But another part of me doesn't want to let go, doesn't want this to end84Please respect copyright.PENANAPjiTPI7tpf
I want to fight to stay alive, I want to fight to "live, laugh, love" again84Please respect copyright.PENANATgjVL2adkV
As corny as that is
I've tried so hard to stay alive, to stop crying84Please respect copyright.PENANAMLAV1Z9omU
To cut off the memories that I live out in daily reveries84Please respect copyright.PENANAh6NRXy7B68
The dread that they dismiss as being "all in my head"84Please respect copyright.PENANAuV8pZud2xx
I'm honestly tired of trying to be heard, to be lead in the right direction 84Please respect copyright.PENANA834EpXXHLZ
Because, so far, it's all dead-ends and "mental health awareness" trends84Please respect copyright.PENANAs6TwHEefnM
Nobody actually cares until you're dead84Please respect copyright.PENANAOXq8GdsFjf
Until you're another headline in the news84Please respect copyright.PENANAD3QEloWoX9
All the attention directed on you, and your grieving family who never even knew 84Please respect copyright.PENANAXIJArisJ9L
Because they never tried to listen to you
Now they post on your page, they age and you stay the same 84Please respect copyright.PENANAtkv07Q8Swk
"I miss you today" 84Please respect copyright.PENANAX6E4VH8ZRm
But they couldn't seem to feel that way when you were around84Please respect copyright.PENANAD9UheS1vBr
But they care now, 84Please respect copyright.PENANAEnnWrwjw9D
Now that your life met an abrupt end
And my "friends", 84Please respect copyright.PENANAaYoUoQmoZx
Mixed signals is all they send84Please respect copyright.PENANAX4fF4r80kG
One day I matter to them 84Please respect copyright.PENANA8goK4QABf1
And the next I'm condemned
A few months ago, I was fine84Please respect copyright.PENANAw2O61oapz9
A few months ago, I felt like flying 84Please respect copyright.PENANAkHYJRQVOaP
A few months ago, I truly felt alive84Please respect copyright.PENANAaFtBvB50y3
And a few months ago, nothing hurt...
But now, everything hurts 84Please respect copyright.PENANArhIxJb14T7
It's hard to explain with words,84Please respect copyright.PENANAqZkJyWMVA6
How the silence kills 84Please respect copyright.PENANAvj2ojn2dNQ
How the pain I'm in rips me to shreds 84Please respect copyright.PENANA2Wwz652zFC
How my mind's convinced me that I'm better off dead
It's impossible to count on both hands, 84Please respect copyright.PENANAhS9youES5B
How many people I've cut off or let go of because I convinced myself that they deserved better 84Please respect copyright.PENANAoINdfhTCgP
And look at them now, better off without me anyhow84Please respect copyright.PENANAHQzqNR8iXc
I guess I didn't matter as much as they tried to make me believe 84Please respect copyright.PENANAkV2RN9Xjbw
But even their "reassurance" were pretty little lies that they weaved like tapestries 84Please respect copyright.PENANAQjAz64a7tE
The grief from all the casualties of all of my fantasies, my wildest dreams
There's a theme within all of it84Please respect copyright.PENANAcBhFc6KFTx
The little voice in my head, it screams it84Please respect copyright.PENANADMznmFj8Y3
"This was their choice"84Please respect copyright.PENANAfIQv8iL9hD
And to be lonely all the time is mine84Please respect copyright.PENANAmWFD73iUIl
All of my feelings are voiced, published publicly84Please respect copyright.PENANAihRbClLaRp
But they're overlooked, dismissed as fiction, a phase, lucky me...
So now my eyes, once open windows into my mind, close their curtains84Please respect copyright.PENANANLoxyz73pN
The words on all of the pages of my open book erase as the pages are burned84Please respect copyright.PENANAIsAVK8gN49
This is exactly what I deserve, everything I've earned after the bridges I've burned 84Please respect copyright.PENANAvUQBTtqaAa
It was never on purpose, never my intention, but I never had your attention from the start
All my wishes, sent to the stars, missed them all 84Please respect copyright.PENANAHQj2xHARfB
Their light flickered and died as I spent nights in my room crying84Please respect copyright.PENANAc3NaVPTrxK
I wish somebody would call84Please respect copyright.PENANA5Tb21QrCFp
But there's no denying that there's no point in trying
So I pour it out in my writing, daily and nightly 84Please respect copyright.PENANAimToSx1Lhb
But when I post these on the internet, I feel like I'm oversharing 84Please respect copyright.PENANA5cSjb9Udgt
And when I vent to my friends, even though they reassure me that it's fine, I feel like a burden84Please respect copyright.PENANAWdYEIFFYK9
A buzzkill, a thrill-killer 84Please respect copyright.PENANAq99CA78xLp
So I lie, saying that I'm fine 84Please respect copyright.PENANAvJAMVLgLxz
So that nobody asks questions, and nobody cries 84Please respect copyright.PENANALBBlPT3tmO
I wanted to feel heard but nobody cared enough, nobody tried