【劍三】大俠，拜師不？ - 3. 論撩花哥的正確手法

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（本部乃網遊劍俠情緣三為背景的偏原創同人，設定因劇情與原版不全相同，請玩家粉絲包含。）

【劍三X泰貝前世】大俠，拜師不？

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By 喵芭渴死姬

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3. 論撩花哥的正確手法838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljfNfAppa6
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「這麼巧？你們一起回來啊。」望見踏進家門的兩人，無名夫子立即笑吟吟地放下書，倒了兩杯剛沏好的茶，好似沒看見傳泰伊的滿臉烏雲密佈，「小貝兒這一天逛得如何啊？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYn4Gh8YyK
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「嘿嘿，大豐收！」苗貝兒興高采烈地說起今日遊歷，傳泰伊卻是餘怒未退地青著臉，不住腹誹這無端沾惹的一天倒楣事。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NZYAJbXXd
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在受不住煩而自報身份後，傳泰伊沒想到這渾小子竟打定主意非纏著他不可，先是百般求他帶路回落星湖的譯站，接著又以「好人做到底」為由要他陪遊千機閣，偏偏正於附近採藥的藥王門下師兄聽聞小訪客對萬花谷的憧憬，竟也加入遊說行列，要他一盡地主之誼好好招待。騎虎難下的他，不得不暫忍心底躁意，陪苗貝兒去了趟千機閣。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7icU7cnsO
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原以為這吃貨在看清此「機甲」非彼「雞腳」後，便會失去探索動力，豈知，苗貝兒到了千機閣，不僅興致未熄，還四處打量曾被他誤會為「餛飩雞腳」的混沌鐵爐。那混沌鐵爐僅是一群圓球狀的漂浮機甲，攻擊性低，故苗貝兒將它們一一摸遍後，便又去騷擾看守千機閣的弟子。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsUFROWhyO
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那名弟子正是司徒一一的門徒，因一心向著師父，滿口誇讚司徒一一的機甲術，只覺天下沒人比得上。傳泰伊冷臉旁聽，不動聲色，也無動於衷。萬花的門派事務中，曾有項任務需協助測試工聖僧一行與其徒弟司徒一一所制之雷槍差距，誰優誰劣，全門弟子皆心裡有數。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjYKLw0yvI
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然而，苗貝兒初來萬花谷，對一切都新奇不已，自是聽得津津有味，連連點頭，令對方直覺喜遇知音，便越說越多，連千機閣與水月宮的淵源都一股腦全說了，於是，有人又厚臉皮了。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54YCZUoBmz
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「水月宮在哪呀？」苗貝兒巴眨著大眼，所圖為何，不言而喻。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKht5UgqaSL
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「……」傳泰伊真想直接拂袖走人。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0k4Yzpw1Fg
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苗貝兒立馬正色說：「我師父說學無止盡，要瞭解一門知識就要研究到底，否則中途放棄會變肥。」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xpQDOb8tu
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「變肥？」傳泰伊從未聽過這邏輯。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABFFkULAQM
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苗貝兒認真點頭解釋：「半途而『肥』啊，泰伊沒聽過嗎？沒關係，我教你，這意思就是……」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡds6lHOsX6k
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「是半途而廢。」被教導的人咬牙怒揪正。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBBF0sxuZZ
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苗貝兒大驚，露出孺子可教也的讚賞之色，「對耶！變肥後行動不佳，功夫也就會變廢了，泰伊果然聰明，會舉一『翻山』呢！」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9VoHcZJuoh
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「……是舉一反三。」傳泰伊再次腦充血。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVjikSLfSS
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「哇塞！反山耶！更……」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMl8FSucZZY
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「水月宮！現在去水月宮！」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTUJQYaghD
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「耶嘿！我們快出發！」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4A1O7IaMk
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這水月宮離千機閣不算遠，原是僧一行為研發機甲所建之宮殿，卻遭司徒一一佔領破壞，故不甚安寧，卻也非極凶險，故兩人一成功闖入後，傳泰伊便放手不管，任由苗貝兒撒著腳丫子滿宮殿歡脫。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLE522EtbO
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「哇！這裡有好多奇怪的機甲怪獸喔！」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4cK4juICv
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「咦？還有超超超大的機甲獸耶！可以玩嗎？嗄？要打贏才能爬上去騎嗎？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyGBv4O9n2
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「打打打打打！嘿嘿，來追我呀，略——」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3E2upiX0U
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傳泰伊僵冷著臉，旁觀幾場七秀雙劍對戰機甲獸後，心想司徒一一的機甲術雖不如僧一行，但威力仍不可小覷，小傢伙戰了這麼多回，該是累了，他也應能功成身退。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZlOW4HM57
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誰知，苗貝兒打敗最後一隻機甲獸後，收劍朝傳泰伊奔來時，竟又滿臉期待地說：「泰伊！泰伊！我聽他們說司徒一一在天工坊耶，那是哪裡呀？好玩嗎？有沒有好吃的？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVdbcYtJTx
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天工坊正是司徒一一為對抗僧一行而建的勢力基地，裡頭龍蛇混雜，是絕非隨意遊玩嬉鬧的凶險處。於是，傳泰伊眼神已死，悔不當初，早知最開始就該讓這小混蛋自己撞樹去了。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zccRuaT1q
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「啊，你不想去嗎？」彷彿現在才看懂臉色，苗貝兒失望地垮下小臉。半晌，他又重振精神，並帶著堅決且遺憾又幽怨的語氣道：「好吧，既然泰伊累了，我就不打擾你了，那天工坊我自己去吧。不過，我聽說那裡危險重重，還麻煩泰伊幫我帶個口信給無名伯伯，若我天黑前還沒回去，就表示我已遭遇不測，請他傳書至七秀坊告知我師父，泰伊你也切勿內疚自責喔。」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8K34dq71G
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傳泰伊徹底敗陣。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmVwii8e8F
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不是沒見過厚臉皮的人，但如此厚臉皮死纏爛打又讓人揍不下手的，卻是前所未見！838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXn7zW1jSnr
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一天下來，傳泰伊被磨得一身狼狽，此刻又聽苗貝兒興奮描述兩人在天工坊大戰機甲獸及惡徒的過程，好似在郊遊遠足般歡樂，便不禁磨了磨牙瞪去一眼，卻在望見那沾著污痕的小臉神采飛揚時，無奈暗嘆口氣，罷了，不過是個不知世事的孩子。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgTpWSToQO
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喝完一杯茶，傳泰伊遂回房更衣沐浴，卻不知留在大廳閒聊的一大一小有了段悄悄話。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrFtaqcbMN
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「如何？老夫收養的這孩子，小貝兒喜歡嗎？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcMVgK8Nl6
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「嗯嗯，他超好玩的啦！」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRx4M3RYzh
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傳泰伊從來不知自己何時變得有孩子緣，還是特聒噪過動的小孩緣。苗貝兒在萬花谷待了幾天，他就被莫名纏了幾天，連他為門派日常奔波時也不放過，以致於全谷上下都知道他傳泰伊身後必黏著一個七秀來的活潑小子，弄得他連學習都不得安寧。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tKI7GRUQv
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「咳，可否請小朋友暫先去別處玩耍呢？」書聖拂著鬍子和藹問道。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡluo9PTM98Q
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「為什麼啊？我會很安靜不吵伯伯教書的。」實在好奇那傳說的秘密教學，苗貝兒乖手乖腳坐在席上憨聲回道，無辜可愛得像個認真好學的好孩子，令凡有教育熱誠的夫子都不忍拒絕。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfy4jMBf2sf
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「這……谷裡規矩……」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYeOevqjsZ
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苗貝兒見書聖為難神情，又見傳泰伊也無動於衷地冷著臉，便失望地低頭往外走去，一臉委曲地泫然欲泣道：「既然你們都不喜歡我，我也只好默默離開了，唉，同為沒爹沒娘的孤兒，我以為泰伊會懂我，沒想到我終究還是自己一人，這江湖路真是走得好孤單，好寂寞。」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAjQlQbO7O
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書聖囧，傳泰伊更囧，不過是要他暫時迴避，哪來這麼多心理創傷？838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQP5k7RHnPZ
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而幾日相處下來，傳泰伊已從無名夫子那得知苗貝兒自小與家人失散後雙親亡故的身世，明白方才那隱於話中的幾分真假。他望著小傢伙黯然離去的纖弱背影，終是扶額輕嘆：「你先去湖邊玩，課後帶你去看仙鹿。」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxsI1omSta
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「耶！泰伊真好！」苗貝兒轉身撲進他懷裡歡呼，後又抬臉口水滴滴問：「那可以吃烤鹿肉嗎？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIPOImUdNN
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「不准！」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlLUEuSLUt
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習完了課，玩完了仙鹿，苗貝兒總算盡興了，傳泰伊也終能重回門派日常，然而小傢伙就是問題多。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MQMLKDw03
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「泰伊泰伊泰伊泰伊泰伊……」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWRdGzwLypf
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傳泰伊無奈停下動作，癱著臉望向蹲在泉池邊注視自己的人，以隱忍躁意的眼神無聲詢問。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClLqy6vGKv
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「我有問題。」苗貝兒無懼他冰冷視線地舉手發問。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpO3R2WwQN4
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「說。」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DsFXqGyyF
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於是，苗貝兒又劈哩啪啦一連串提問，問得連一旁的茶道師兄都不住關切，「為什麼你們萬花泡個茶要把自己整個人都丟進水裡啊？這樣到底是泡茶還是泡自己啊？難道是泡茶順便泡澡省水嗎？那這樣茶葉不會有腳臭味嗎？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeLCdnhrEo
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「……」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkHzFvJ4lc
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茶道師兄無語，傳泰伊更無語。他低頭看向浸於泉水中製茶膏的手以及整個立在泉池裡的身子，亦於心中第一百零一次默問，為何製茶餅要把自己也浸在水裡？可惜，當年初學茶道，他雖疑惑卻不得其解，如今有苗貝兒這厚臉皮的外人提出，他倒想聽聽茶道師兄如何回答。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bJi8nRElY
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於是，一陣沈默後，茶道師兄轉身負手遠望，正色道：「這煮茶有三步：一為碾碎茶餅……」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCjwd4uovA
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聽茶道師兄滔滔不絕說著一成不變的煮茶經，傳泰伊明白這回肯定又不得答案了，卻是苗貝兒竊笑地伸指戳了戳他示意靠近些。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMukRJ4BA1n
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「嘻，是不是他其實也不知道啊？」苗貝兒附在傳泰伊耳邊小聲說：「說不定是教他茶道的師父在造茶時，不小心摔進水裡又不好意思承認，就說這也是茶道，他就跟著學下來了呀？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzudkWQdCvu
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如此妄加揣測前輩用意實在無禮，然而，傳泰伊仍不禁想像了下情景，竟不由自主地勾起唇角，低聲回應：「有可能。」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCASgT140h
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苗貝兒怔然注視他首次展露的微笑，半晌，才揚聲燦笑道：「泰伊笑啦，我贏嚕！」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5A5luLrcq
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傳泰伊一愣，「贏？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0a8RHNoh2
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「對呀，我跟無名伯伯打賭誰會打破泰伊的面癱記錄呀，伯伯還說你永遠都是死人臉沒救了說。」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbfpGTKXvA
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敢情自己成了這兩人的玩具了？傳泰伊怒癱回死人臉。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9j375VSzo6
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ღ ღ ღ838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zMqC1RVNZ
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「泰伊，泰伊。」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgEL6dWYcL
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又結束一日事務，兩人沿著三星望月下的流水小橋，往住處步去。始終黏在傳泰伊身邊的苗貝兒，依然又跳又跑，喋喋不休。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCXxAqbFsI
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「你有去過哪裡玩嗎？我是說萬花谷以外的地方。」苗貝兒捏著一朵隨路摘採的紫色小花，踮起腳尖輕盈轉了一圈，正是七秀坊獨有的劍舞步伐。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFdI0Rv2QL
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「沒有。」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkg3PNnBkPF
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「咦？都沒出去過嗎？」苗貝兒停下動作，疑惑地睜大雙眼，「那來萬花谷之前呢？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEu0odJGKP
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傳泰伊沈默了會，「不算有。」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazuzZUzvdp
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自小與惡人雙親藏匿逃亡，他雖也去過些地方，卻未曾體驗這萬千世界。來萬花谷前，身邊盡是殺機四伏的刀光劍影，縱是在少林寺的短短幾日，也飽受冷言冷語，因此，他確實未有接觸過外界，對這世間的一切認知皆從書本來，因而苗貝兒的問題，他僅能用「不算有」為答。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9cy5PEGxa
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聞言，苗貝兒腳步一轉，躍至他身前偏頭問：「那你不好奇嗎？」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq79APtTlmb
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「……」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4zkvOIT9u
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「外面也有很多萬花谷沒有的有趣事物喔，你不想出去看看嗎？」苗貝兒邊說邊倒著走，仰起的小臉散發見識這世界精彩的光芒，「我去過好多地方呢，可以帶你去玩，會認識很多人喔，像蔥花哥和丐叔就是我在揚州交的朋友。我最遠還去過西域明教，那裡的風景好特別呢，月亮又大又漂亮，還有超浪漫的三生樹傳說喔，我們可以一起去看。對了對了，去明教途中可以順道去崑崙，那裡被一片白雪覆蓋，看起來也美極了……」838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RVN2UcMyW
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傳泰伊靜默聽著苗貝兒訴說谷外風貌，未有回應。相較於其他萬花子弟懷抱闖蕩江湖的雄心壯志，他對出谷遊歷卻從未有過一絲妄想。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfm6miuKw0p
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身為罪人之子的他，真能在外界尋得容身之處嗎？838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBWAEMIkLd
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ღ ღ ღ838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHYOiz958T
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後記：

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貝貝你真的好吵，要不是長得夠可愛……（欸＃838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJp8ZDxJgJ
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泡茶那個任務，我真心疑惑好久啊，為何要整個人都泡進池子裡才能製茶呢？838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSolxGrGbS
站在池子邊不行，腳踩下水也不行，一定要泡到至少胸口深才能做，why？838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkt1J0DQEwQ
打水也是，要游到湖深處才能打水，這……（抹臉838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAaChhg4ctr
可憐泰哥每次做日常任務都各種無奈www（＃838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMs0VvKqGs
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【下篇預告】《拐個徒兒闖天下》且看貝貝收徒/泰哥拜師的辛酸歷程（＃。三千多字，預計星期二早上發佈。838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WwaJ90h9r
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歡迎追蹤噗浪和FB粉絲頁>////<838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvdyUElR08
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噗浪：http://www.plurk.com/sakuhyde838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP56kyQuwd2
FB粉絲頁：https://www.facebook.com/meowbarksky838Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdCZbHsFz8
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