轟——！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxt0piyb79
（天地間一聲巨響，出現一朵巨大的蘑菇雲。）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DHYYoJYPs
（天庭）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfB8YiLEDog
（靈霄殿）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XWmYT5zF4
（玉帝正趴在桌子上睡覺）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xiCZlFiHo
傳令官：報——！！！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2Eu1Ez2SD
（玉帝一驚，伸著懶腰醒來）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoZ5oUtlFG
玉帝：什麽事啊？這麽大聲？又打擾我睡覺。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGGusSihsQ
傳令官：千裏眼、順風耳在殿外求見。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zmYMc3CYN
玉帝：傳。（趴在桌上繼續睡覺）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXp6wXzGO8Q
（千裏眼和順風耳興致勃勃的走上殿來）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNJ5OQMwRg
千裏眼：陛下，我們耗時千年研製的元子神彈，今日在下界爆裂成功啦！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXyuCpo8zJ
玉帝（猛地醒來）：哦！真的？耶！耶！（狂喜）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKEIbPZBkW
順風耳：元子神彈爆裂的聲音太巨大了，竟震壞我兩個耳膜。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJXoskfgaT
玉帝：你不是有九九八十一個耳膜嗎？震壞兩個算什麽？別大驚小怪的。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNTNaUlGMo
千裏眼：元子神彈爆裂時發出強烈刺眼的光線……66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvBSHp14A0
玉帝：啊！你的眼睛沒受傷害吧？你只有兩只眼睛。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsC16SK2Klk
千裏眼：哈哈！沒，沒。我戴墨鏡看的。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBip6jFXzNo
玉帝：算你小子聰明！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSId8YQKeg
千裏眼：元子神彈爆裂後生成直沖天庭像蘑菇一般巨大的雲煙，壯觀無比！我從來沒看到過那麽美麗的景色。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6GTfaCptK
順風耳：元子神彈爆裂的余音不斷，聽得我心曠神怡。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3szvwOdFNp
玉帝：哦？這麽壯觀的場景怎麽不早先告我？！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jKb3HEjTO
千裏眼：陛下，你忘了我的眼睛有錄製功能。我已經把神彈爆裂實況全部錄製下來，你想看隨時就可以看。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnATo0EFo7T
玉帝：真有你小子的！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GmXOuxami
順風耳：可惜我的耳朵沒錄製功能，沒錄下元子神彈的爆裂聲音。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAAUkcUMUI
玉帝：唉！沒關系，就當看無聲電影吧。小順子，下去把你的耳朵改造改造。你不知道聲音也在滅絕嗎？隨時隨地錄製聲音，很具有生物學價值。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQ3BBKQm6I
順風耳：謝陛下指點。等元子神彈第二次爆裂的時候，微臣絕對會全全錄製元子神彈的聲音。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYIsuMD0NV
千裏眼：等元子神彈第二次爆裂的時候，微臣會戴上彩色的眼鏡，不會讓你再看黑白電影。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELCbalg4CM
玉帝：都給我住口！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaOG9LSwiX
千裏眼/順風耳：陛下，我們的想法難道不好嗎？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOuqoOBu4m
玉帝：是好想法。做為你們的老大，我常常教導你們，做神要低調，不要張口閉口神啊神的。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KxbZPrpMH
千裏眼/順風耳：臣等明白！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEQNAOq6rC
玉帝：以後說起元子神彈要去掉「神」字，改稱——元子彈。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rKNY8LCIy
千裏眼/順風耳：元子彈？？？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jRDaOSgzb
（在下界元子彈的爆裂處——花果山，位於沙漠地帶，山上山下寸草不生。由於上界元子彈66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20i71O3ghu
爆裂，產生肥沃的土壤，使花果山方圓百裏變的有花、有果，成為名副其實的——花果山！）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHuRsFey3K
（山上莫名其妙地會聚了一群猴子）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUTrNN06X1
（由於上界在此進行了上千年的元子彈試驗，一個路過的猴子慘遭輻射，導致基因突變，成66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU2yDcJyZ75
為神猴！親們，因為神猴是元子彈產生的，所以這裏我們先稱神猴為——元猴。）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQIm3eNSIw
（山上的群猴正在水裏洗澡、玩耍，元猴走到水邊，準備跳入水中）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Q5lpzp5VI
通背猿猴：等等！（一把攔住元猴）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirIQRoQT1o
元猴：幹嘛？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWFWLHQ8V1
通背猿猴：你要幹嘛？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbG9t3RLl1
元猴：我打算洗個澡。可以吧？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLm6WJefmN
通背猿猴：可以。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dHANquiUe
（元猴想跳入水中，又被一把攔住）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbMWuTW4Be
元猴：你要幹嘛？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83jVF0B8YQ
通背猿猴：我……我聞到你身上有股怪味兒。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hSjwvbIuF
元猴：不是怪味兒，是火藥味兒。你的鼻子出問題了，勸你趕快去看五官科的太醫。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVEQgovJOy
通背猿猴：你身上怎麽會有火藥味兒？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6g6assUS57
元猴：說來話長。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFVyZd5G9S
通背猿猴：我想聽聽。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyoBaSpbko
元猴：我急著洗澡，我洗澡先怎樣？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZbsYaK3qW
通背猿猴：我急著聽你的話，你說先怎樣？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlaoSrMLxz
元猴：好吧。關於我身上的火藥味兒～～～66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaOmElE0dI
通背猿猴：嗯……66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHiaWERjGL
元猴：一不小心就有了。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcXdxi911x
通背猿猴：啊。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7aWPfypnD
（噗通！元猴縱身跳入水中）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa12DEGf3LL
通背猿猴：哇！這個入水動作，簡直太美了！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWuLj4xIigL
（群猴繼續在水裏玩耍。忽然，聽到一個猴子大叫！）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWtfL1f1Iu
猴子甲：有黑洞！有黑洞！……66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBI6kD2BOvV
（猴子甲指著上流的瀑布處大叫著，水中群猴都被吸引上岸）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqs05aB0IE
通背猿猴：黑洞？什麽是黑洞啊？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVDtLumnDc
元猴：笨豬！黑洞就是沒有燈光和火光的洞啦！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtv1eUDpbN
通背猿猴：貌似你知道很多。你進去看看怎樣？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBIoJeDckkP
元猴：有誰進去過沒有？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxueofjz7Tx
通背猿猴：剛發現的，應該沒有。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFu3TVR6pyP
元猴：我可沒那個膽量。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8hi8yM7Fa
通背猿猴：那你瞎嚷嚷什麽？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡME0GarMqs8
元猴：我看你不了解，解釋一下給你聽嘍。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwTxRVj7nU
通背猿猴：哪個膽大的敢進洞看看啊？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAgzwc8r25
（眾猴不語）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEP1OuEzj2
通背猿猴：誰敢進黑洞，我們就拜他為王！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPeBixx3Ud
（眾猴又不語。過了一會兒）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnuj4Aty3QI
元猴：我進去看看怎樣？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxU56ZFuqu
通背猿猴：你怎麽過了一會兒才說出來？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BYrGI1Njm
元猴：我一向很謙虛，沒想到諸位比我更謙虛。我花時間考慮了一下，最後做出決定，所以66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1FFSQeO8t
過了一會兒。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBXcXlFaZ8
通背猿猴：廢話少說！你這就進洞吧。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcXH2Tqczi
元猴：我有個要求。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0rZct6mQE
通背猿猴：說。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5NFi1nGa9
元猴：我聽說身體進入黑洞可能會導致時空穿越，如果我進黑洞後穿越到500年前或500年後，猴王不但做不成，我從此還消失了。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9WXZI6Y8B
通背猿猴：你想怎樣？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjM2iglUxWR
元猴：你們總的建個標誌性的建築紀念紀念我吧？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qN1Xmg8pH
通背猿猴：好！你消失後就在此給你立個牌子，上寫：某某某在此穿越！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMN3DJnfn1j
元猴：牌子的原料要選非常堅硬的石頭，「某某某在此穿越！」要選用利刀深深的刻在石頭上面，還要……66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRCdThjdXP
通背猿猴：好！好！好！都答應你！你快進去吧！進去吧！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsr14ZTfkKh
（通背猿猴雙手一推元猴，元猴飛身離地，穿過瀑布，進入黑洞）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxiC0aJvnu
（黑洞內金光閃閃！）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2e0ERj9I8X
元猴：哇！難道這裏是座寶藏？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopVxInxrtY
（走近一看，石壁上有10個閃閃發光的大字：花果山福地，水簾洞洞天。）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfk5T4zf8Hu
元猴：靠！我以為是金銀珠寶，原來只是幾個閃光字。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lIlDVtqBv
（砰！一聲，拿出一火把點亮。環視洞中，發現有石鍋、石竈、石碗、石杯、石盆、66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PL5OZghv3
石床、石凳……）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjhtxz5GCr
元猴：這兒家具挺全的，以前應該有人居住。不會是山頂洞人吧？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDWIQrUi8C
（洞外）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4msDo92cmz
眾猴：怎麽還不出來？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1fWClDCoY
通背猿猴：唉！我們為他立碑吧。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG456ZMlRvS
（嗖——！一聲，但見瀑布處水花濺出，緊接著有一不明飛行物飛出黑洞！）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJg90YqWjOB
通背猿猴：有飛碟！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9D9iSEo6Z
（不明飛行物一落地，卻是元猴。眾猴圍上）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfO3qrXo1WK
眾猴：黑洞裏邊有什麽？黑洞裏邊有什麽？…………66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVCPCvlM26
元猴：這個……66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6Rkb2BNIX
通背猿猴：某某某，黑洞裏邊有什麽？快說！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpBHFFFmR5
眾猴：某某某快說！某某某快說！……66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BWzS3AKul
元猴：諸位，你們對我的稱謂，是不是該換換了？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GE7mMie2P
通背猿猴：什麽稱謂換換什麽啦？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJr3JYRD0or
元猴：你當眾說，誰敢進洞就拜誰為王。我進去了。你們這幫無賴還不拜我為王！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUn88tatjni
通背猿猴：哈哈！不好意思。我們一時心急想知道黑洞的秘密，把那事忘了。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGH364yKIfq
元猴：現在想起來了吧？用不用我再提醒你們一遍？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPrXW7YEiY
通背猿猴：不用！不用！都來拜見我們的大王！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkQ294nFWD
眾猴：拜見大王！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLUKw1WcrG
（群猴俯首而拜，高呼：大王萬歲！）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgL7Fd8DeHg
通背猿猴：大王啊，黑洞裏面……66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuahnJHuDm
猴王：黑洞裏面是個三室兩廳兩衛的房子。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BLFxRYut1
通背猿猴：原來是個三居室。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuseAI3pIW
猴王：可以這麽說。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLR91d92SeT
通背猿猴：房子不小，可惜容不下我們全部入住。留著給大王住吧。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisueVWFwvt
猴王：雖是個三居室，可每居都有上百平米，足夠我們全全入住。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPGknsjXf6
通背猿猴：哦！這樣的話，我們就和大王群居！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFUIRWRwJ3
猴王：是同居！你用詞文雅一點好不好？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIFbg20loE
通背猿猴：我們什麽時候搬進去？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpoYDkUB81
猴王：現在就搬。隨我來！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTg2wlQ7EM
（群猴跟著猴王飛入洞中）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXT0xNxUyxb
（在洞內，眾猴張燈結彩，手舞足蹈，歡天喜地！）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbxrbT3KOl
（通背猿猴看到那幾個閃光的字）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNKaB7EXnA
通背猿猴：哈哈！原來這黑洞叫水簾洞。好名字！好名字呀！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hyt230ACz
猴子甲：大王，你也應該有個好名字才好。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5FxWKoxuw
猴王：你們稱我為王，我已經心滿意足。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJOojM21IK
通背猿猴：大王，我看到你縱身跳水的姿勢非常的美，那一瞬間，使我終身難忘。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkNGBMHeAp
猴王：待會兒出去，我再跳給你看。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn26wmbJPsz
通背猿猴：不如，我們就稱你為美猴王吧！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF99FfMxO4O
猴王：美猴王？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3oPNisAQV
群猴：美猴王！美猴王！美猴王！…………66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dStki7K26
猴王：隨你們的便啦。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20fS8a76p0
猴子甲：大王叫美猴王，我叫麗猴王！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFkVP4HmmJ
猴子乙：我叫帥猴王！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4PQ4g9MILW
猴子丙：我叫酷猴王！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmI3HyeYaQ
…………66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8VRGSBQ5r
（美猴王把通背猿猴叫道一旁）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fgC2BOBs3
美猴王：你打算叫什麽？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBWtQu6G7f
通背猿猴：好名字都被他們搶了，我無所謂了。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABWQyn7ttF
美猴王：你貴姓？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04DPdwU6iS
通背猿猴：姓通。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2eGWKSztK
美猴王：名字？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡll1ZbTq1ky
通背猿猴：背。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGusrPNojuv
美猴王：背什麽？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFdICAvLuwf
通背猿猴：只有一個背。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkqvsmBjud
美猴王：嗯，本大王冊封你為通背猴王怎樣？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYp0ZrGCFa
通背猿猴：好名字！大王有文采！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFz9Znpvf2i
（至此，花果山水簾洞建立了以美猴王為首的猴王帝國！）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSRJmVnuOB
（一日，美猴王正在設宴與群臣喝酒，傳令猴急匆匆跑進水簾洞）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcY8GKXfP9v
傳令猴：報告大王，出事了！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yc5hhtxjS
美猴王：愛卿何事驚慌？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxbxbQB7wJ
傳令猴：帥猴王在攀山時不小心墜入懸崖摔死了。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnKvh4l9Qx
美猴王：啊！我的帥愛卿，你去的太早了！55555……（痛哭流涕）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxr2NeULCQ
（美猴王在花果山為帥猴王舉行了莊嚴隆重的葬禮。葬禮上，群猴紛紛落淚。）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcr4dxFQ4tw
（群猴都不哭了，只有美猴王哭泣不止）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaehrPpZgx
通背猿猴：大王，猴死不能復生。希望你……66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSyMhcMylx
美猴王：55555……（哭的更加厲害）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnX2DQl2Yv5
群猴：大王，別哭了。帥猴王永遠活在我們心中。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2WVlT9pvk
美猴王：我不是僅僅為我的帥愛卿而哭，他只不過是去的早了一點。諸位想一想，百年之後我們都會像帥猴王一樣離開這個美麗富饒的花果山，離開這個逍遙自在世界。你們不覺得這樣的結局很悲慘嗎？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NAmxqzMGm
（群猴聽罷，一個個掩面悲啼！）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfyHDoE1N7
通背猿猴：大王，你的意思是，我們活的再長久，都不免一死？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGHQNvWo0Y
美猴王：嗯啊！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUI1EG2kJm
通背猿猴：大王想要長生不死，不是沒有辦法。66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtGSph14S6
美猴王：不是沒有辦法就是有辦法了？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpmmgV2I2S
通背猿猴：嗯啊！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3CThauTDc
美猴王：快說！快說！快說！快說！快說！快說！………66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo09mE232KO
通背猿猴：在海外的古洞仙山住有神仙，大王可登門拜訪，學個長生不老之術，不生不滅，與天地山川齊壽！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBBsRCmAQi
美猴王：來人！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yq3GIXyi2
傳令猴：大王何事？66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdt57s1Nj04
美猴王：備船！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIIRyAJgYE
傳令猴：是！66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sr5DaNTat
（嗖——！猴王乘船漂洋過海尋訪神仙去了）66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnF0GzyZXQR
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGCs7k1rEy
大話囍遊
作者:
刀鋒戰水
刀鋒戰水
篇 #1
第01回 猴王出世
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