真人真事師生戀《最接近的陌生距離》 - 第五十四章之一

「你電話震緊，你仲唔聽電話嘅？」Miss喺我懷中講。

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大約十零分鐘前，我部電話就開始震。雖然來電令我返嚟現實，但眼前喊到崩潰嘅Miss卻令我放心不下。所以我一直都冇理會部電話，繼續同Miss互相諒解、互相大喊一場。我就一直擁抱住Miss，喺佢耳邊講好多情話、好多安慰嘅說話。

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然而，呢一刻、呢一個時空卻唔係只係屬於我同Miss而係⋯⋯

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嗶嗶⋯⋯嗶嗶⋯⋯

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電話每隔十分鐘就震一次，每次震動維持咗一分鐘左右。時間已經係六點十五分⋯⋯

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「六點幾啦，一定係你媽咪搵你。快啲聽電話啦！佢Call咗你幾次啦！」Miss喺我耳邊講，雖然仲哽咽緊，但我聽到佢好努力令自己冷靜，佢唔想我錯過咗呢個call搞到比屋企人鬧。

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「嗯。」我輕輕嗯咗聲，算係應咗Miss。我唔敢講「由得佢啦。」皆因來電人一定係蟲蟲，我實在做唔出⋯⋯做唔出傷害佢嘅決定！

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呢一刻我情緒好似坐緊過山車，我同Miss嘅誤會、矛盾漸漸化解之時，我理應好開心、理應鬆一口氣。但當我感覺到電話震緊時，令本來彷彿飄緊出外太空嘅我，就比強大嘅地心吸力拉返去地球！

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本來我想今晚全心全意地照顧Miss，好好珍惜呢一份看似失而復得嘅感情。但我唔得，每一次電話震緊嘅時候，都令我好唔舒服。

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我個心好痛，好似有條刺咁。電話每震一次，呢條刺就吉入心臟多一分。而且當我感覺到有幾痛時，就令我明白我有幾內疚、有幾無地自容、有幾自責、有幾⋯⋯鍾意蟲蟲。

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係，我對蟲蟲嘅感情已變質。蟲蟲喺我個世界崩塌緊時，佢唔只幫我撐住個世界，仲要係一線曙光。加上佢惹人心痛嘅成長，更令我不能自拔地鍾意佢。

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嗶⋯⋯嗶⋯⋯電話繼續震緊，我實在唔敢去想像呢刻嘅蟲蟲係點⋯⋯實在唔敢⋯⋯

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雖然我同蟲蟲嘅感情只係曇花一現，但愛情嘅嘢，可以話完就完架咩？我都知，蟲蟲都知，我地對大家係餘情未了。所謂嘅「一分鐘」都只係自欺欺人。嗰一次雨中一吻更唔係維持「一分鐘」咁簡單。係——

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永遠留喺我同蟲蟲心入面！

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唉⋯⋯呢次大件事。一處理唔好，咁⋯⋯咁⋯⋯我未傷害咗蟲蟲？！

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諗到呢度我心情變非常之咁複雜！我唔想做衰人！我唔想做渣男！但喺呢一刻，喺Miss面前，即使冇人迫我作出選擇，但命運中總係有一隻有無形嘅手正正暗中要我作出決定。

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盈盈，定係，蟲蟲？

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蟲蟲喺我最低潮嗰時出現，使我將世界拋諸腦後，佢係我嘅麻醉藥、水泡、後備⋯⋯

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水泡⋯⋯後備⋯⋯水泡⋯⋯仆街——我真係好渣呀！

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「咁你應該知要點揀啦？」

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有把聲喺我心底中吶喊。

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係，我知點做。問題係我敢唔敢去做！因為我唔想傷害任何一個呀！

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盈盈同蟲蟲，兩個我都好鍾意呀！

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但係我⋯⋯呢一刻，一定要作出選擇！所以，我拎起電話⋯⋯

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嘟——！

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電話冇再震，我撳停咗佢。

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屏幕上顯示出「未接來電」告示，一共三個，來電人係——蟲蟲。我做咗一個最痛苦同最難嘅決定⋯⋯

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原本擁抱住我嘅Miss係睇唔到我個手機屏幕，佢喺我撳停個電話時就放開咗我，有啲不滿望住我。我即刻將電話收返落褲袋。此時佢用責備嘅口吻講：「你做咩唔聽電話呀？」

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「唔緊要啦。都唔重要嘅。」我仲要衰到扮咗若無其事，隔空再捅蟲蟲一刀！

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「點會唔緊要呀？你放咗學好耐啦！仲唔返屋企！」Miss情緒平復後，慢慢變返教室嘅佢，說話變得好命令：「唔好要媽咪擔心啦！」

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「咁你緊要啲嘛。」我又再隔空捅蟲蟲一刀。

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「我頭先講嘅嘢冇聽到啦？我唔想影響到你呀！快啲覆返媽咪，講你就嚟返屋企！而家即刻打電話！」

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仆街！Miss又變得好強勢！佢兩眼雖然仲流住淚，但眼神變返初初認識嘅佢，好嚴格冇情講嗰種。我被佢嚇到支吾以對，一時間唔知點做。點知⋯⋯

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「拎嚟。」Miss向我張手：「拎部電話嚟。」

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「吓？！做咩呀？！」

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「我要親自打比你媽咪！」

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屌！我比部電話佢，咁未知道一直打比我嗰個人就係蟲蟲？會仆街架喎！但喺我猶豫之時，Miss皺一皺眉，面色大變，就「唔——！」一聲衝咗去廁所，然後我聽到一連串嘔吐嘅聲音。

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趁住呢個空檔，我即刻覆返電話比蟲蟲。係，我唔忍心做得咁徹底。當我頭先決定唔聽佢電話時，我個心好痛！好過意唔去！點都要同佢有個交代，唔好要佢白等！

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點知⋯⋯

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嘟⋯⋯嘟⋯⋯響咗成分鐘都冇人聽！

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點解唔接我電話嘅？

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我望一望鐘，六點半？

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難道佢⋯⋯？！

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唔得再打多次先！

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嘟⋯⋯嘟⋯⋯⋯都仲係唔接我電話！難道蟲蟲佢⋯⋯憎我爽約？！仲要係係無緣無故咁爽約！

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喺我再打多次比蟲蟲時⋯⋯

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「嗯？」Miss喺廁所出返嚟！佢望住拎緊電話嘅我！

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同一時間——

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「喂⋯⋯？阿匡？」蟲蟲竟然接我電話：「sorry呀！落緊毛毛雨我要搵地方避⋯⋯」

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蟲蟲好狼狽咁講，把聲好大，令我好驚被Miss聽到！急忙之下我即刻收線！

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「你做咩收線收得咁快呀？」Miss慢慢向我走嚟。佢咁樣問，應該我成個人焦躁到令Miss感覺唔對路！

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「你打比媽咪呀？」Miss嘔完之後面色仲差咗。

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「呃⋯⋯係⋯⋯係呀。」我竟然⋯⋯再一次對Miss講大話！

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Miss皺一皺眉，話：「同媽咪講嘢做咩咁快收線呀？」佢好似睇穿咗我咁。

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死啦！要點答佢好？頭先Miss去咗廁所嘔，理應該聽唔到我講咗啲咩，言下之意我求其作個理由就過到骨啦。

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不過——

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「唉？我話想遲啲返，佢就一輪嘴鬧爆我囉！」

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不過，我又要呃多Miss一次！

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「我唔想比佢煩，拿拿聲收線就算！」我好自然咁將個電話收返落褲袋。

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可能我呢個大話講得好自然，Miss冇懷疑，只係無奈搖頭，就話：「咁你快啲返去啦。」

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然而，佢頭先嘔到七彩，Miss講完呢句即刻見頭暈，腳步浮浮，我即刻上前扶住佢。

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「你病到咁樣我點樣放心走呀？」

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諷刺嘅係——嗶⋯⋯嗶⋯⋯電話呢個時候又震！

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剛好Miss望住我，抱怨咁講：「唔通你要留低陪我成晚咩？」

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我唔理電話嘅震動，慢慢扶Miss返睡房休息。Miss上返張床時，我幫佢冚好張被。

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「你走啦，我識照顧自己架啦。」佢抱住床邊嘅公仔就閉起雙眼。

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我就趁呢個時候伸手入褲袋撳停部電話。我⋯⋯我好狠心咁撳停咗，就好似監生將一隻小動物捏死。

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做完呢個動作後，我即刻被良心責備，令我雙腳好似被釘釘落地板，慚愧嘅感覺令我行唔郁。

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「嗯？」Miss感覺到我仲喺度，張開眼嚟望住我，用少少責備嘅意味講：「仲唔走？！謝子匡係咪要我罰你呀？！」

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嗶⋯⋯嗶⋯⋯蟲蟲再一次打嚟。同對上一次來電唔係隔咗好耐，言下之意，蟲蟲係幾咁急想見我！

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Miss聽到電話震嘅聲音，就焦急咁講：「你媽咪催你啦！快啲返屋企啦！」

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我搖頭，但我唔係想同佢講我唔願走。只係同自己講我唔想做出一個好狠心！好殘忍嘅動作！

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當我想用撳停部電話去拖延時間時，命運中嗰隻無形嘅手一次又一次迫我去做出選擇！

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係，Miss Wong同蟲蟲，我兩個都好鍾意。但愛情就係咁，總有一位係會特別愛多一啲。

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望見Miss呢一刻嘅病容，我真係放心唔落。萬一佢需要人照顧時但冇人幫佢咁點算呢？

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所以——

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嘟——！我直接熄咗部電話佢！將蟲蟲嘅希望⋯⋯監生咁扼殺！

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對⋯⋯對唔住⋯⋯兩個女人之中，我最愛嘅始終都係Miss Wong。

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Miss好錯愕咁望住我，佢當然唔會知我夾硬cut咗蟲蟲線，佢仲係以為我嫌阿媽煩，索性熄電話。Miss生氣咁講：「你每次都要搵啲嘢嚟激我！快啲返屋企啦！」

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我好自然將部電話收返入褲袋，痞喺Miss嘅床邊，輕輕掃佢頭髮，話：「比我照顧你多一陣啦。」

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我就快痴線啦！心嘅一頭，我好想照顧Miss。但當我講完呢句說話後，心嘅另一邊就不斷責備我！

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Miss鼓起泡腮，有啲嬲卻又忍不住內心嘅甜蜜，邊嬲邊笑咁講：「你係咪唔聽Miss話？都話咗我唔係細路女呀，唔洗你照顧呀。」

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「你將今晚嘅晚餐嘔到七七八八啦，半夜你肚餓點算呀？」

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「我會去食乳酪！」Miss內心嘅甜蜜愈嚟愈大，本來仲喺老師語氣嘅佢，把聲漸漸變到細路女咁同我撒嬌。

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「唔得，食粥。」

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「唔要啊！」Miss撒嬌咁講：「啲粥都食晒啦！我肚餓會食乳酪架啦！」

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「我而家去煲粥！」

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「唔食啊！」

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「你咁樣扭計法我點放心走呀！」我以責備嘅語氣去講：「咁睇嚟我要留低睇住你！」

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「咁⋯⋯係咪我應承你唔食乳酪，會照顧自己，你就放心返屋企呀？」

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「係！你比我照顧你多一陣，睇埋你食埋藥，睇住你訓著覺後我就放心走。我會聽你話，我一定會返屋企。」

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「Um⋯⋯」Miss眼仔碌碌諗咗陣，然後佢喺被窩入而伸咗隻手指尾出嚟：「勾手指尾呀。」

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一個23歲嘅女仔，仲要係老師，估唔到呢一刻佢唔只攬住個公仔，仲要成個細路女咁同我勾手指尾！我無奈笑一笑，伸出尾指同佢打咗個勾勾。

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「嘻⋯⋯」Miss幸福咁笑，係呢半個月嚟第一次見佢笑得咁開心。

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我因為Miss嘅笑，都打從心底開心起嚟。我同佢嘅矛盾已經處理好晒，但我嘅開心並唔長久。

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因為我同Miss呢一刻嘅幸福，卻建築喺蟲蟲嘅痛苦上面。

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