賤男人周記 - 第五回幾分傷心幾分痴

第五回幾分傷心幾分痴250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatxNUKeiis
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相信好多男人都會撞過女人發脾氣，唔理佢係你女友、老婆、上司、甚至係亞媽。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDWhRqZEP4
通常都係有一個共通點就係你講乜佢地都聽唔入耳，唔好意圖或嘗試同佢地講道理，玩自己架咋。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMIEeNnOg3
總之你出聲就鬧你駁嘴狡辯，你唔出聲就鬧你做乜唔出聲，真係好難服侍。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9IHwdTVNi
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見到老婆咁嘅樣我望住個女打咗個眼色，之後佢好醒目粒聲唔出走返入房。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnUM5XN9MR
做咗咁多年老婆奴當然識得點面對呢D情況啦。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYT3UmWFe6m
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呢個時候大家要注意自己講野嘅語氣，唔好比人有一種唔耐煩又或者係挑釁嘅感覺，250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYNJ7iNc0H
將平日講野嘅聲線再壓底三度就差唔多，無錯就係同太監一樣。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkpkZh0V7w
我：[皇…唔係，老婆…妳唔係要OT咩？]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAyGoGdt5U
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皇…唔係，老婆連望都無望我一眼講：[唔好提啦，明明約好都可以甩底。]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiQ6vZfL5V
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我：[呢D人真過份，咁…妳食咗野未呀？]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Dras7OCvY
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老婆：[食唔落呀。]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEekaJsIje
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我：[咁…休息下先囉。]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbee7nFUxEZ
當我想返入房時。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgw7Y0OSka
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老婆：[你幫我煮個餐蛋麵。]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxwBKcVklO
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我：[好…我現在即刻煮。]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGv2GAKMmll
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老婆：[你地啱啱落街食野呀？]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPNnkwHDxb
仆街啦…250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbZXeueBAi
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我：[係…呀…]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGM2yn7f8Iz
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老婆：[食乜呀？]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvw0eda2TA
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我：[哦…重可以食乜丫，咪樓下茶記囉。]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5AZJGGO0d
如果比老婆知道我地兩條友去食日本野無預佢鬧死都似。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwzlUNmQi1
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嗱嗱聲走入房換衫然後煮個麵比老婆食。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQytehY2mP
好快手攞住碗熱辣辣原味出前一丁餐蛋麵出呢：[食得啦。]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLP42ZW2JS
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老婆望一望碗麵即刻話：[無菜嘅？]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkjN0wv1ar
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我：[吓…妳想食菜呀？我…即刻煮。]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn28Ns76VqH
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老婆：[我咪話平日要食多D菜健康D囉，唉…算啦，唔洗啦。]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPV9QmXGSm
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講健康就唔好食餐蛋麵啦。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCkDX3rtra
不過呢D場口最好都係出小句聲自動消失係最安全。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1F7npYYFL7
老婆一邊食野一邊睇電視，我又對電視節目無乜興趣於是入房開咗部HiFi放鬆下聽下歌休息。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhq5wIPFCeW
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年紀大都係鐘意聽D自己年代嘅歌，特別係八零年代尾九零年代頭，可以話係香港樂壇最高峰期，四大天皇、哥哥、梅姐、王菲、憶蓮、Sammy、粒粒巨星，相比起現在…唉。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWLUw8SNXVC
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今日聽乜好呢？望住個CD架上面排得密麻麻嘅CD，手指一指，就聽王傑啦。以前唔明點解一個大男人可以唱到死人冧樓咁慘，人大咗先知嗰種無奈係要用時間換返呢。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgVrSFXK4W
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放入CD喇叭傅呢王傑哭喪一樣嘅歌聲：[哭泣聲絕無意義它不會扭轉分開的心意…]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YyIcAOH9a
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就係我培養緊情緒時，忽然老婆大叫：[老公！]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOv602c5oig
唉，又乜呀…250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXphe3OWH1D
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAm8rM2H0F5
扭細聲部HiFi問：[乜野事？]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmh3URBiXPq
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPX9FOWPeT
老婆：[唔好聽王傑啦，唱到死人冧樓咁，我想聽mirror呀。]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZVYZAd8h9
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係唔係玩野呀…250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwIImLxHjsh
好多男人都話，玩HIFI最大敵人唔係地方同金錢，而係女人同細路，真係一D都無講錯。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6D1RcnsNl6
我：[我無買mirror D碟喎。]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRy0kQVbSn
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrh21XSjqd
老婆：[youtube咪有囉。]250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGDGMVUS2O
頂…只好開youtube比老婆聽mirror，自己就用earphone塞住耳仔一邊用手機聽歌一邊搵樂敏傾計。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUfVa1IEgu
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我：【妳今朝同我講話同條仔上床呀？】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqxYsTLa8m
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樂敏好快就回覆我：【係呀。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFlK61wqu2
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5eXJnw6Dh
我：【咁佢條件一定唔差啦。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UxFb7JAuf
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BL19Pdk7X
樂敏：【OK啦，佢揸車過呢接我去Soho食意大利菜。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDEkFZCD4S
一出手就soho，唔怪得之溝到女。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4uY9lsX3y
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我：【咁呢餐飯一定食得好開心啦。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmabZ5Tl7An
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樂敏：【好一般。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3y8kFPJTps
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我：【妳講食物定人先？】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4M1evbJCs
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樂敏：【兩樣都係。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMX9ftj3RIN
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我真係忍唔住問：【咁妳又同佢上床？】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5Q7xe08At
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlO9cvH8Uu
樂敏：【咁食完飯見佢幾大隻又有時間咪同佢玩下囉。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbs03DiutVD
睇到呢句個心真係酸到呢…250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrFRaM2Jgw
超，亞明，酸乜春野啫，你又唔係人地嘅SL，你只不過係一個比較好傾嘅網友乍。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82MvFJGk4j
咁我都知，不過…都想喺呢到講句，希望所有有偷食嘅紀巴如果你地睇到呢篇野嘅話，幫幫忙，比條生路呢行下得唔得呀。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSgPVSIUyH
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雖然心情已經跌到谷底，但係點都要懶大方扮關心問一句：【咁…玩得開唔開心？】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2skAe6Zoej
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樂敏：【唔太開心。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZwicVx3Yh
又估唔到佢會咁答我喎，唔通又係另一個外強中乾嘅真男人？250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlAitPlxlg
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咁我好奇即刻再追問：【Why？】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGN8cJjOv3
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樂敏：【佢同我做時我都feel唔到愛。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvcX1m1d7t
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9gmCInN2y
我：【吓…】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvSlvHnDS4
如果有一條女肯同我上床，但係又要我表現出愛呢樣野先，咁我真R晒頭唔知應該點做，250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvRFI7zX5G
唔通一路做一路大叫對方個名？樂敏！樂敏！妳好正呀！250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUi9AKIEQuJ
咁同喺公園放狗叫Lucky！Lucky！Good boy！有乜分別？250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupxqtxv3pF
不過入馬場見D人大叫隻馬名上呀！上呀！又真係充滿愛意架喎。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qB4KNOBla
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定係好似品評藝術品一樣？250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniV9tdRVFl
樂敏，妳嘅完美嘅身段係市面上好稀有，相信可以去蘇富比拍賣搵到一個好收藏家。拍賣女人聽聞犯法架喎。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfO8VTGyN8I
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對於呢D咁迷嘅野我讀得書少唔識只好直接咁問一句：【咁啫係點呀？】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVlFAjKEXJ
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樂敏：【總之，我覺得佢只係想搵我發洩做完就算。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1g6eyJPKf
咁似D男人去叫雞嘅，我幾乎想問佢有無放底幾舊先走，不過咁講又好hurt人。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjPMhxg1vP
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我：【或者佢緊趕時間啫，妳咪比多次機會佢囉。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaniGx2u1w7
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpgeRqc2GD
樂敏：【唔啦，唔鍾意就搵過一個算，又唔係無選擇無謂浪費時間。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkVl0xx0h2
唉，呢個世界幾咁唔公平,點解女人玩app咁多選擇。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWY5r0li8GE
鬼叫香港女少男多咩，特別係玩app，我諗個比例真係一比九十九。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrktiHljl7
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咁男人係唔係無選擇？又唔係嘅，呢D好睇個人能力，你食飯都唔會只係叫一個餸啦。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTY5XXNLChA
我鐘意食二餸飯，三餸係我嘅極限。不過識女我都係鐘意一次一個。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoM8mlBJRT
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樂敏繼續講：【其實搵咗咁耐都重係無人除取代都佢嘅地位。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEYkGEW0ck
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我：【妳重好掛住之前個SL？】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmT4AsnaoqS
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvmXG2fx1b
樂敏：【太多回憶，你知唔知呀，佢睇住我個仔出世又幫我手照顧，我對佢重多過對我老公，所以好難話放底就放底。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxD8uMh5t6h
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老公成日唔係香港情夫就成日見。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt90owV8KIN
我：【其實…妳有無擔心過個仔唔係妳老公架？】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fiENjJuG8
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86GvrDLxbK
樂敏：【哈哈，有架，SL又唔鐘意戴套喎，有時安全期都未必準架嗎。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ennUWPEQq
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我：【咁點算，check DNA？】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fdKNljbjk
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樂敏：【無呀，咁我老公係快啫，又唔係唔得，而且個仔越大越似老公，所以應該係佢。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCgB49oSuH
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIK2fKKdu9
我：【哦，咁都好D，好少聽妳講舊SL，妳同佢一齊幾耐？】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoB4JvNtcjO
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YtjZJNwj7
樂敏：【七年，如果唔係有一日個仔問起個哥哥係邊個我諗我地都唔會分開。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Un3lFywVJ
我諗係香港好多人嘅婚姻都無七年咁耐，邊個夠膽話SL只係短炒唔可以長揸架。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2l8C98iwR
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我：【連細路都知道咁就麻煩。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJ5RXI9oD6
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樂敏：【嗯。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEquegQyLsE
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我：【我記得妳話過佢細妳好多。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAY2fXkFcI
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樂敏：【嗯，十年，所以我地唔會有結果。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjY8RXKyMf
你地腦入面係唔係好多畫面出現呢？食小鮮肉喎，真係AV情節一樣。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FPpvBU1uz
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我：【咁佢現在點？】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWT0itkTV3
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樂敏：【早排佢結婚，臨結婚前一晚佢搵我，佢話好掛住我。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrn4sm9WGEy
正常嘅，如果我廿幾歲時識到一個好似樂敏咁正嘅SL我都唔想放手啦。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5FKXGQ3Qt
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我：【佢想同妳繼續？】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudvriHDYzx
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樂敏：【唔係，佢只係話掛住我，但係又如何，我地根本無可能係埋一齊。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRrUPp2f5n
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我：【咁妳想唔想同佢一齊？】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlfOsa9INj
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwWfV3ppBK
樂敏：【想又點，佢都已經結咗婚，而我亦唔會因為佢而離婚，我現在擁有嘅野佢比唔到我。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnphFUHyHBA
咁又係麵包與愛情，根本無選擇。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPUidQg1ZW
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfY6dIGhuS
我：【唉，人生就係咁無奈，咁只好繼續搵啦。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8wSHOn2o2
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomf9y9p54c
樂敏：【好攰，唔想再搵住。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbck6rWv9u
聽聞佢上個星期佢都係咁講喎，女人講野都係信唔過。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ417aNjHDfm
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZokcHyLEt
我：【妳唔悶咩？】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27lyhHlHQM
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAsA1Au3Ni
樂敏：【悶咪搵你囉。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HCbAuGNdP
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHD742RuVLU
我：【超，我約妳妳都唔得閒。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGa6XYOipx
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMJpgj5K5u
樂敏：【乜你有約過我咩？點解我唔記得架？】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdT8fFxOFb
到底係我存在感太低定係佢太多人約唔記得我。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQoTd1a5YS
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNoOmHIkcQ
我：【我有約過妳睇戲架，不過妳話無興趣之嗎。】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7UcB77bfS
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0pg9d7ltqN
樂敏：【又好似係，哈哈，不過都係一次啫，點解你唔再約我嘅？】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9G0UWtPuZH
其實唔係我唔想約樂敏，只係每次同佢傾計佢都話識咗新仔，一陣又話同新仔出街食飯，啱啱重爆埋房添，你叫我點開口？250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44jKdYUJlH
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我邊有咁強自信可以係佢嗰班有車有樓有錢人有時間有肌肉嘅裙下之臣中突圍而出呀，都係做佢嘅樹窿聽下佢講下點樣食仔算吧啦。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAM0lXTx4aR
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忽然，樂敏問咗一個好有趣嘅問。250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkcOgdD7f5
250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrb5ua6tWoY
樂敏：【衰野呀，我問你，如果比你你會唔會同我上床？】250Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJH23q2vli1
呢句說話係唔係暗示緊D乜野？