The life of me? blog - Prompt: Losing something/someone you never thought you would

The Death of Friends

By FossyJoci

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The death of a friend,

My cat, my best guy friend

My ex-best friend

I have lost so many people in my life

And I never seem to know why

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Lily a name I shall use

To mask the face

The one that I can’t say the name of

I don’t know what to say about her

Except for this

I was the one who killed her,

Dead and buried

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She had such power over me my entire childhood

She was bossy

But because of the way I am,

I could never let go of her as a friend

I hold on for as long as possible

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She lied to me

Twisting other's words to get me on her side

I don’t know why I was considered a proper alley

But it was as if she needed me on her side and no one else’s

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I moved schools and she started to like the guy I like

I couldn’t do much but they never dated

And eventually, they went to different high schools

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I moved states and I basically never spoke to her

Unless like the rest she would wish me a Merry Christmas

Or Easter, or Halloween

And it would be like we were kids again

Us talking and giggling

And then she brought up the drama

Like I could do much, I was in a separate state

She lied to me and I was done

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She has done it far too many times

Causing way too much pain

To my other friendships

So I cut her off,

I was Done.

Not many of our friend group talk to her anymore

But I was one of the first to block her.

So yeah it was me,

I killed her

In my brain

In my head,

She is all but dead to me

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I lost my Cat

Such a fitting way to change the topic

I moved states so my sister kept him

But not for long

In the end, she put him up

For Adoption

Without even telling me

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I went to her house,

The first thing that I asked was

“Hey where’s Mittens”

Talking about my male cat

With white paws

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“Oh honey, he’s gone”

“Did nobody tell you?”

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No, they didn’t actually

It wasn’t like he was dead

But to me, he was gone,

For all I know he could have been killed

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She said

“I made sure to put him in a cruelty-free shelter”

But that doesn’t mean that

Someone cruel didn’t adopt him

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So I hope for the best

Pray in my heart that he is still alive and well

Although he is getting old

I got him when I was a second or third-grader

Possibly around 9 years of age by now

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But who knows what to think

Other than me weeping

In my sheeting

I wish for my cat back

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My Guy Best Friend drowned

In a sea of feelings for another girl

Which is good for him its true

He was dating,

Yippedi doo

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But he pushed me away

We barely talk anymore and I find it funny

Because when we do we talk for hours on end

Catching up on life

Talking about how we have been

But then the next day it was as if we never talked

He goes back to ignoring my existence

Unless I spark a conversation

So he died,

A slow death,

one that I refused to except

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They all died in a different way,

I lost them all in different ways

Who knows what it's like

Knowing that you have slowly drifted

Away from the people that you once loved

With your whole heart and being

They were my chosen family,

And now they are gone.

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All I can say is hold on

Somethings suck

But hold on for as long as you need to

Until you can peacefully let go

Let go of those who have made or let you suffer

Whether they knew about it or not

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I shouldn’t say this

But I hold on to things

Until there is nothing left

To hold onto

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A girl, a Cat, and a boy

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So do what you please

You only die once

But you live every day

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End

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