The life of me? blog - Prompt: How my Brain works

A Wacky Maze and a Squirrel303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJKaYNCPBK

By FossyJoci303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ625yI0R8kU

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How does one's brain work?

Matter of fact how does my brain work?

Because to me it is a series of events

That leads to absolutely nothing sometimes

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I start with a thought

but as soon as I begin to think

Something catches my eye,

Whether a small trinket or a squirrel

It doesn’t matter

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Because I am then lost

To only thinking about that thing

I hyper fixate

Is what I think

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I can’t tell a story without going extremely off-topic

And you know I think that's normal

Because for me that always happens

Until my dad goes, weren’t you talking about shoes?

When somehow I had gotten to the topic of my dead cat

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I would like to know how my brain works

In the throws of trying to pay attention

When it only wants to let go of the thoughts

That I would like to think

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I can’t control it completely

My brain wanders,

The only thing calming it down being something in my hands

Something that I can withstand

Something to fidget with?

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I have a Rubrix cube

I can solve it in under a minute

But if I think about solving it

I won’t work, I can’t solve it for 2 week

Or however long it takes my brain to reset

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Is it just me or do I have ADHD

My parents would always say

You don’t have ADHD stop self-diagnosing yourself

When I would ask to be checked

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I finally got my license

And my parents still don’t have me drive

My little sister to school

Because they think I am going to zone out.

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When I replied as a joke

“It's probably because of my undiagnosed ADHD”

And then my mom did reply,

She kind of just went blank

All I could do or think to do was go

“You’re not saying no, why are you not saying no”

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I talked to my dad about that later on

He said that they know that Jillian and I

Are on the spectrum, but only that

They don’t know how far

All I could think about all these years

When they turned me away was

That maybe I was just crazy

Or maybe I am just over reacting

But now you they tell me that they could always tell

That I was somewhat there?

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How do I stay on topic

When all I can think about is not thinking?

I don’t want to

And so I distract myself

So I am constantly chasing the squirrel

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The squirrel in my brain

In the labyrinth that I cannot navigate

The winding tunnels

Up and down

Not being able to stop

Not being able to do anything

But follow that squirrel

And live my life

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