Well the contest has ended. Thank you to ItsAmelia and Esfandiar C. Hale for taking part. I liked both entries, they both gave me nostalgia for some of my favourite works. Writing 2000 words is a challenge in and of itself, you both did really excellent.
Comments:272Please respect copyright.PENANAHXYpmL7yjI
-Lost But Not Truly Missing272Please respect copyright.PENANATCsZxXd1Fy
Reminded me of the book 'Clariel'
-Words: Well done, you met the bottom tolerance.
-Forest: You brought us to the forest, but near the middle I think you forgot and then transported us to the woods instead.272Please respect copyright.PENANAecg5xv2urW
-Lost: I could tell Skylar was lost, but it felt teased. Just when I thought we'd get more into her mind or fears she was found, that made me a little sad. I think if you'd fleshed out the part where she ran from the boy a bit more, it would have added to her feelings of being lost as an orphan, and her reunion with her brother would have hit harder.
My confusions: The boy is wearing a jacket, how do we know he's got freckles down his arms?
Love your writing, when you hone your skills some more you'll be amazing!272Please respect copyright.PENANA7qApo5MqFK
272Please respect copyright.PENANAUKXVcFLVUd
-Imprisoned In Freedom
Reminded me of the movie 'Maleficent'272Please respect copyright.PENANApHu6vpEmeC
-Words: Good effort, you were just a sneeze away from the bottom tolerance.
-Forest: Loved your description of forest, I could see it in my mind.
-Lost: I could tell Fala was lost, like the children I've encountered, she wasn't too concerned about being lost as long as she was having fun, I liked that. She went searching for herbs for her mother, was she not concerned enough to want to go home?
-My confusions: How can she see her reflection on the water if it's dark?
You have a knack for descriptions with colors, that will be amazing for audio books.
272Please respect copyright.PENANAi0PRghqCSI
Results:
I scored you guys based on word count, the forest and being lost, for a total of 30 points.272Please respect copyright.PENANAMDZs4x12kq
1st - Esfandiar C. Hale - 18 points
Word count: 2 points
Forest: 9 points
Lost: 7 points272Please respect copyright.PENANACEtCxrRjWq
272Please respect copyright.PENANAomc0mxb4jU
2nd - ItsAmelia - 17 points272Please respect copyright.PENANA5lrH3Zd5O5
Word count: 5 Points
Forest: 7 points
Lost: 5 points
272Please respect copyright.PENANApIHo9kQr7j
Thanks for taking part! Until next time!
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