童桐回到自己的家中後,我著她好好休息,由我過去我家那邊把枕頭拖鞋之類搬回去她這邊。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAXbKOgyEYSX
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正當我收拾好準備回去時,我媽卻攔住了我。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAmrrnG2rU6p
1212Please respect copyright.PENANANB2X5XIzuJ
「過黎傾傾。」我媽說。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAZpz4gB6S61
1212Please respect copyright.PENANA1VdskbosyU
我爸在書房關著門,大概是因為颱風來襲而在家工作,所以廳中只有我和我媽二人,至於亞基看到我坐到沙發上,馬上躍到我膝上扭摸扭抱。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAowoFycOEWZ
1212Please respect copyright.PENANAGIuRpT0M1E
我笑一笑然後抱抱牠,再給牠滿滿的撫摸,不只牠享受著,我也感到心中的壓力藉著手中的毛茸茸感覺釋放了不少。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAa5t5BHu3Rx
1212Please respect copyright.PENANAsPqAw6TPgQ
好可愛…1212Please respect copyright.PENANAoMnpKFhcxE
1212Please respect copyright.PENANAtdXWgOJ4ov1212Please respect copyright.PENANA1iNRXCHSQE
參考圖 IG:bordercollie_08141212Please respect copyright.PENANAo9lzJysRii
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「呀遊,你對PTSD有幾多認識?」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAzVjB6sYsiz
1212Please respect copyright.PENANAdDhtKdABkM
「睇戲睇過。」我說,「就…有咩創傷事件後,會好驚相關既野,發惡夢,見到鬼之類,你想話童桐就係咁?」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAPUJYs6tmX8
1212Please respect copyright.PENANA8NgZaYW7pu
「你既算係克板印象。」我媽就,「我之前做HR個時,試過有同事出過事,升降機工業意外,成個頭扁左。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAPJkPPPQgtZ
1212Please respect copyright.PENANA7bLnJH3Q5U
我就不去想像了。1212Please respect copyright.PENANA84Pj9u3jj8
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「事後在場目擊者,或多或少都有PTSD既傾向。童桐佢依加咁樣既情況,令我諗返起個時。」我媽說。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAoupt9g5orS
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「…你講下係點。」我說,「我想幫童桐。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANApsmiZMc9Yt
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「童桐可能係PTSD,亦可能係PITS,詳情既你帶佢去睇心理治療師,但兩者都似。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAED0QOyIg2H
1212Please respect copyright.PENANAWeGVKzvQ6Z
「又咩PITS…咩16型人格測驗?」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAtuuqrHelqo
1212Please respect copyright.PENANA5lguHKE29U
「唔係。」我媽白我一眼,「PTSD多數係受害者身上出現,而PITS叫加害者創傷壓力,多數出現係加害者身上,例如戰場上殺敵既軍人,屠房宰殺動物既員工,合法開槍制止暴行既警察之類。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAAV5GUGroyY
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「童桐明明唔係加害者,利律師係差館同我講…」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAEnP8MvpKlq
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「呀遊,佢係唔係都好,問題係佢覺得自己係。」我媽說。1212Please respect copyright.PENANASHzRwHwe8O
1212Please respect copyright.PENANAKwKaAt4Keg
「童桐…已經係第二次遇到呢種事。」我心中一沉。1212Please respect copyright.PENANATIhz65SF14
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「嗯。」我媽說,「PITS患者一般黎講會比起普通PTSD更嚴重,呀遊,你明唔明,童桐依加係被好好好嚴重既心理問題困擾。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAJb2PXgVhqs
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「嗯…我知道。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAcT7vD01kGQ
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「但你唔可以怪佢,佢都唔想,就好似普通傷風感冒咁,你無只係你好彩,總之…係症狀上先當成係PTSD解釋,只係更嚴重,亦更難醫。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAqW93dKsRki
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接著我媽以她當年還是超級HR時處理過的經驗,向我解決童桐現在的情況。1212Please respect copyright.PENANA7PhRwwjDsF
1212Please respect copyright.PENANAQPbyafgTZQ
PTSD可以在創傷事件後馬上爆發,或在數月後平息,但也可能持續,變成慢性綜合症。無論是當年工業意外翌日,在升降機內抱頭痛哭的員工,還是看到一向黏自己的亞基而恐慌發作的童桐。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAfKS7QF1xua
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而創傷又可以被貯藏在程序記憶中,患者即使看起來沒甚麼異樣,但一但做出相關的動作,便會馬上病發,那個員工好像是聽到升降機超重的「嗶嗶嗶」警告聲而馬上情緒崩潰。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAkiV22sH15n
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至於做惡夢,性情大變,失眠,逃避或對相關人事物感到恐懼,暴躁易怒,過度警戒,易受驚嚇,再次處於相似情境會感到不安,恐懼,呼吸困難,發抖等,便和電影拍的大同小異。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAyIPeGthiEV
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也和童桐現在身上一樣。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAUo33tNQgFS
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「但即使係點,呢個係病,童桐仲係你認識,你鐘意既童桐,你既青梅竹馬童桐。」我媽說,「佢只係病左,而呢個病係有得醫,就同厭食症一樣。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAjJleJ3TBs9
1212Please respect copyright.PENANA8yNSC2KMQu
「一打完風我就會帶佢去睇醫生。」我說,「錢方面,阿媽…」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAilDGjnZzwH
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「得啦,我本來就當童桐係我地個女咁,依加更加當佢係新抱,錢方面你唔使擔心。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANA71MLTQtFS4
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我愛我媽。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAk6tI41Y0M6
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「你要好好照顧佢,PTSD又好, PITS都好,都係有得醫,只緊要係你陪佢,照顧佢,俾安全感佢。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANA1SQrli0Qeg
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我點點頭,雖然不知道我能不能辦到。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAM94zpzFaX9
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「喂,你有幾鐘意童桐?」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAtHDQIi8IEh
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無需任何思考。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAiKcwwaYB6F
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「要幾鐘意就有幾鐘意。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANANnwnlwEYup
1212Please respect copyright.PENANAi4dbQHXlxq
我媽問:「照顧佢一世,用一世人陪佢對抗呢個病你願唔願意?講緊既係一生一世。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAay60OPjgoU
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「幾多世都願意。」我口出狂言,但我的確有這份覺悟。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAIaEJqNpbRT
1212Please respect copyright.PENANA1ryy1lIxkR
已經經歷了這麼多歡笑,跨越了這麼多眼淚,這份決意我背負得起。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAa8B63o1TBA
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也必須要由我背負。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAZJCsA14kDU
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即使我再弱小,這點我也不會讓步。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAE8TgV3d1PT
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「既然係咁。」我媽舉起右手,「就交呢個俾你。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANA7iYS9eERMh
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回到童桐那邊,我首先拿出一個狗玩具。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAeE6aHncatN
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「呀遊…?」躺在床上的童桐問。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAxWf9ptfVur
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「係亞基俾你。」我說,「佢似乎覺得自己做錯,叼左佢最鐘意個舊骨去我地房門口,應該係想送俾你想你原諒佢。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAgVuzqqV2l5
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「……佢真係好可愛。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAqK4Da6cgcD
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「佢好唔開心。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANA0sufnEAHyN
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「我…我知道…」童桐痛心地搖頭說,「係佢救左我地,計埋之前,佢已經救左我地第三次,但我…我一見到亞基,我就聽到架車撞落Kay既聲,聽到煞車聲,我仲聽到Kay既慘叫聲,我唔應該放開亞基,一日都係我……」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAB9IZ07l5vk
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她深深地在自責。1212Please respect copyright.PENANA2MZC28bY3h
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別忘了,Kay在襲擊我們之前,是童桐的組員,二人在大學也是好朋友。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAtI7M1Snjx3
1212Please respect copyright.PENANAsWASDnDg96
而Kay不但變成拿刀砍我的女人,更加在童桐面前被貨車撞成血肉模糊。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAMTX2sytZAZ
1212Please respect copyright.PENANAY8IYXTj5tq
「佢唔會嬲你啦。」我把狗骨頭放到床頭,輕輕擁住童桐,「佢一定等緊你返去同佢玩,搓佢肚肚。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAHlZzrFtwzU
1212Please respect copyright.PENANAz8Cd7bUBfz
「我係唔係癲左?呀遊,我…」1212Please respect copyright.PENANANitZddDoG4
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「你唔係。」我親吻她的頭髮,「等打完風我會同你去睇醫生。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAzMudcV7VTu
1212Please respect copyright.PENANAlqKyGPAB1I
「…我唔想入青山…」童桐是認真的感到恐懼。1212Please respect copyright.PENANA27jpCRgG2m
1212Please respect copyright.PENANASSC85LZhBA
我笑道:「點會,只係見下社工,心理咨詢之類,記唔記得睇戲個種,坐係度同你傾計就收你貴一貴個種,哈哈。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAOCbnYW8kKn
1212Please respect copyright.PENANA5dPgzAeDHU
「…嗯…呀遊,今晚可唔可以開燈訓?」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAKtv9GcUEmF
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「梗係可以。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANABIITguqhSo
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「講個秘密你知。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAaPU70pQtia
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「仲有咩秘密我係唔知?」我說。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAN2wwOlpEIx
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「其實我驚狗。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANApnL4KgRwmz
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「下?」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAnO7FDkVcJ5
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童桐說:「記唔記得細個,有一次我媽咪黎探我,我覺得佢唔想見我就離家出走出左後山個度涼亭度?」1212Please respect copyright.PENANApoafnLgk1M
1212Please respect copyright.PENANAyrea93pPN6
「哦個次,你仲偷偷地收埋學校個種膠水飯盒添。」我說,那次我上山找童桐,結果和她一起被狗追,還好我爸找到我們。1212Please respect copyright.PENANA4Rt9PsWu54
1212Please respect copyright.PENANAnyVHUytvZq
「個次咪俾野狗追既,好在叔叔救左我同你…我個次之後就好驚狗。」童桐說,「所以我好珍惜亞基,難得我唔會驚佢,但我諗都應該係因為你…所以我唔想自己以後都驚佢…」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAsSCGHvtiKc
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「慢慢克服。」我說,「我…我細個都驚坐過山車喇,依加咪又唔驚。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAMobpLDPyrK
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不過原理應該不一樣。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAB8Y46983Px
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「咕嚕…」童桐肚子悶響。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAs2PYjdBeDp
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「…童桐,你上次食野係幾時?」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAf6Xfmxcbiv
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「係差館,菁婷小姐買左兩餸飯俾我。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAXyJJXNw0KQ
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「你依加肚餓?我去煮野俾你食。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAWcLgvxDiDe
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「唔啦。」童桐搖搖頭,「刷左牙,唔想刷多次。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAkned4mGrFd
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看她心情也吃不下吧,還是不要強逼她好。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAjw1yRZfGOW
1212Please respect copyright.PENANAvo35r4Xv1M
童桐成個人都憔悴了不少,很難想像一個人在一晚之間能這樣落魄,下午和她去放亞基時她還精神奕奕,傍晚出事到現在凌晨,童桐卻已經變成了一個愁眉不展,鬱鬱不歡的少女,看著我便心痛。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAd5XRlWJw3n
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我真的好想她能高高興興,像過去十多年一樣。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAVrvMXfrB9s
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我緊緊抱住她,她沒有回抱,但也沒有抗拒。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAvnxWWTbQAT
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「唔好有事,童桐,求下你。」我在她耳邊說。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAcLfa1qvix4
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「……」她卻沒有回應。1212Please respect copyright.PENANA4phFiCqNz3
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只要颱風一過去,便帶童桐去看醫生。1212Please respect copyright.PENANA7iL0RB1p1J
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這和傷風感冒是一樣的,都只不過是病。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAtuCIACk32i
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只要是病而不是甚麼不治之症,便能治,也必需要治。1212Please respect copyright.PENANARnJgNYgWVM
1212Please respect copyright.PENANA3gDVHL1WaQ
「…三號風球預計於明日日間大部分時間維持,天文台預計超強颱風氣槽將於明晚凌晨時份改掛八號風球。天文台形容,超強颱風氣槽風力強勁,速度緩慢,結構完整,堪稱完美風暴Prefect Storm.」1212Please respect copyright.PENANACsNt6enyHp
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只要風球一過,我便要帶童桐去看醫生。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAlHXpU04A6m
1212Please respect copyright.PENANASgyxEIMFCA
「…繼續返黎我地既節目。」電台主持人接話。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAPvk0h6IqvW
1212Please respect copyright.PENANA83JeILp8Uz
「即使風暴再強,即使風暴再完美,都唔好忘記晴天就在烏雲之後守候。」他帶有磁性的聲音格外叫我聽得入神。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAJlPAOdKyHS
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「世界上或者有所謂既完美風暴。但係唔會有永恆既暴風雨。風暴再完美,都會消散既一日。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAUl7MrPsYQB
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「風暴再完美,我地都要記住總會再次見到晴天。」1212Please respect copyright.PENANAdwsiR6lBu6
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眼角泛淚。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAw9CivyZL2L
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「呀遊?」童桐問。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAgcJsNXfEky
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「…無事。」我把眼角輕蹭到童桐身上,感受著她的心跳,她的脈動。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAdurdc6Msme
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在我失去意識墜入夢鄉前我聽到電台在放著一首歌,最後的歌詞也呼應著窗外的完美風暴,我也擅自將之代入到我們的困境中。1212Please respect copyright.PENANApjzymBS4tU
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//還能互安慰1212Please respect copyright.PENANAUEGZloCSbm
不必天氣多清朗1212Please respect copyright.PENANAhnPz6NTXEZ
狂雨暴雪一起對抗1212Please respect copyright.PENANAKllKVIaUJU
任歲月再壞 不致心慌//
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第二天早上,屋中卻只有冷清。1212Please respect copyright.PENANAIm10yf12c9
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床上只剩我一個人,我打開童桐家中每一扇門,爺爺嫲嫲在聽著粵曲,卻沒有童桐的身影。甚至有亞基在的我家,也沒有童桐的身影。
童桐不見了。
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