[bgm music to read to]
176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7c08BhN7F
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWkGh78Y4X
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZfzsEtvCy
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEwhEHUh7xQ
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbrA77sBMb
176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7Rp995Fw4
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdZKJuT8PR
176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULqtDUUtcA
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6CujWLfNs
176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcCYB9WCqL
But...176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CW3UNeca0
176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZZ1gMrKEN
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRNx5mINon
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCaF1PmtXF
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY9sTQar7DW
Is absolutely not pathetic.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFp8idrzos
You're not garbage."176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhn6flFKYVV
176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFwf1oRqIV
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKAZ9LN6TSJ
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDU2bvGW4aX
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I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUatWCY3sNJ
176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOedqhDBgvb
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6t2T9CWan
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43Yh88O0DY
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynozFIMzh2
Your son doesn't want to get married.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0dxFe7J01
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkdzVmjLmy
176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EQOozEfFs
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Fow3mTQV0
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3BwwqRjcA
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAikltqUTEA
I'm scared of failing, so.
176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3t2oGTd4G
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeM0H0s3aVV
176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWxetLJ5TP
Sincerely,176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSz9yQffHaW
Your son Charlie.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKzOwO8GhQ
176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CQ6BQaMTT
P.S. Screw you sis /j.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqIB2p5w7I
176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZTQTNsi3W
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsV04Z0Iff
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8ky3xYGX4
176Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEJGvkWRMF
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
and then Add to home screen.