[bgm music to read to]
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4LnJZz2IM
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhfz2v9EHl
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8BsDx2A5I
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtw2Ru7x5oQ
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3pxfLFhArN
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCtQWVBTif
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qHNUXKokU
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoBqvZOBPW
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYYlS800P5
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTV8RNb2MM
But...1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aSgyMnaJl
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"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaC7TUhVFA
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzu22GhC7D
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lfFnarEzW
Is absolutely not pathetic.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGGPygUdZJ
You're not garbage."1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9yNC17fWY
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFTKssExVx
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwgyFAdxLB
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2bNsBbY6i
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I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUM9qLPRccm
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqF7Dd6ixA
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEl19Jw2p6
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkSNiptWGv
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfS1qMwLfw
Your son doesn't want to get married.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡff6LKyLdEN
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfE9imSqFhv
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEsUmPCDcw
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzn4GyztRcz
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFmX5nHO8h
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1N2OHtg2A
I'm scared of failing, so.
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcscuncTFr
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinRlokKAM1
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCkhyzQtmH
Sincerely,1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtO4B0bADO
Your son Charlie.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexHDt27Rm5
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mYm6e5tVL
P.S. Screw you sis /j.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZODh110gWP
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV94rbnr8Mk
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡum58dIsjME
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEcWh4CovM
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8HCantP9o
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
and then Add to home screen.