[bgm music to read to]
477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwW7QIVuudG
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0Nno0B3ZU
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuwgYQz9fzp
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZ1PbN63xg
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPKV7kI9v7
477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwk9KR1uno
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhZypoQKoj
477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNy4J8nQGbY
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtfjK00aIk
477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHrzyPoG9O
But...477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHCbQRLEhc
477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFfUfzG5TC
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnt1DdVzIS
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7FfyAXXbHg
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dZHM0mYAE
Is absolutely not pathetic.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡur70QLoqbH
You're not garbage."477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyqcey2Eu6
477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2T8VB6m3o
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCZvoU7Ywg
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaulaQYXf0
477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVApMlcUDy
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokoLnzLE0B
477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WI1qcWesn
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFs8uLTQn0
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQd66c1Mwg5
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjmz3PN3oe
Your son doesn't want to get married.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡth1Of8yKZa
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLf7PCYqKpi
477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4o9agcQ0oS
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMoU5GDMiLi
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJqf8trgW2
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2bKb33o0D
I'm scared of failing, so.
477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswKPGBFPz1
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpsyyTQTpu
477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKGmWlAyMzJ
Sincerely,477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzj4WEiznIK
Your son Charlie.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkqqxeWQkiq
477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzl8zgF7eA
P.S. Screw you sis /j.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcGsBTwkgh
477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysodJJpfbA
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvreSSYcUf
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGb0iT4uk2
477Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00IG42KhUu
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
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