[bgm music to read to]
708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGrKAuJonG
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8eJN8zzS4
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hk2KZaPA4
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFFOZ6owHT
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk34hzvWaKW
708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xvHZyIQQK
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7g5HoMFScX
708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nzbNCRebV
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqo0OABMyNM
708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXOSG2UL7X
But...708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0ZKNe8Xig
708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaPyKI5c3O
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19CxMDZxFy
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXbzSoCgeJ
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2Df6jpC2G
Is absolutely not pathetic.708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV06tsi3EF8
You're not garbage."708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcAIcye0fm
708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTaMzsA4Drw
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9h14DHctfN
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbI9Js63yvK
708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXhb22MiIX
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUo9W9mE3Yn
708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVjVG5bGNt
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwCJxIXu94
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEUp0P9ZrC
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcudKykTBP
Your son doesn't want to get married.708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4kzdUkP3M
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDnWcfb31Tx
708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvykfGCVPx
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv69n88XSG1
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjX3q2ZB7I4
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwNoNicPnX
I'm scared of failing, so.
708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZCtHtyi85
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCW3z028M5n
708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BI7hX1P5J
Sincerely,708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHY8O6DeiU5
Your son Charlie.708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqbdBv8pCX
708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTWidBDQje
P.S. Screw you sis /j.708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWw6iHvAP4f
708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPOAXHdBzg
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwyhvLhjnm
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFd50f8QcT
708Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8SjM3ITHU
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
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