[bgm music to read to]
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPq2K7hSx9Q
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1C2AJlb8z
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHx7cPmaC6
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9H7ALOY0G
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hErSb5NuN
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpUPrinL9P
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsP8ZGadUGR
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91pqQTzPDf
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDcqXMUbGY
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Yknug6bnk
But...563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcEMzl52DES
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUUf1Xnt63
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UoM3rk7Rx
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3lIdm2iLo
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtCGojD9SRx
Is absolutely not pathetic.563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35bxfAIYF3
You're not garbage."563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEVXqzjIQH
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedYsAIzVY8
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbOMVwjEThE
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztraDgJ5HY
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0IAqdEiN1
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2S64WYqJX
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3Aoq5yVhN
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzXQJ1SjSh
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVJTaHQENa
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3EEAwuqNS
Your son doesn't want to get married.563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU8tyr7pR0T
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9r0MW8o6Q
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLcZRh5Rmj
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7nYcBIrsS
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ756xXd1AZa
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHLAOmLnjn
I'm scared of failing, so.
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ecX5OvPD7
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8oQuN2qqC
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIKgz14QQ3
Sincerely,563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsRoAGsJBR
Your son Charlie.563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUh6bzVeqJ
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpIPE8Ne4U
P.S. Screw you sis /j.563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYow0l5MFX
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJjEQ27jAs
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2GvfdrtPj
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXCUeNDqom
563Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqYd0uX5Hf
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
and then Add to home screen.