[bgm music to read to]
713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NNZfIZCqX
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjRRh2hTaj
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTV1Oj0bN7I
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uwKSANgDk
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIN0Tobepkm
713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKcwHlPGSOS
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFDaWLygHQL
713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHMkRnWkxN
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0U8RX2PfX
713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyJLzLDAuJ
But...713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukJvnfKELw
713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwrPf4knWx
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNCKzli1h4
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6GJHpBfeT
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPmOOPJ5tq
Is absolutely not pathetic.713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhDwmjPUzt
You're not garbage."713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvT0MKF4f9
713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqtEXXiffW
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqr4Kv8uFyD
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgFOJwkCS8
713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPor7kXizHU
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinx80ViPfN
713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJlqf4TBG9
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4y8V18KErZ
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMnRVKtveh
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxqfNOU3H9
Your son doesn't want to get married.713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHXwTB6j9c
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFDlZyp7Qo
713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqHpKUl2n2
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOE5Brpmk6
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCT4isFgEmd
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EuJn556YR
I'm scared of failing, so.
713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIyqOhND0Y
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgk6r4yk5Su
713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7lrWJNgin
Sincerely,713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ881FrifOzI
Your son Charlie.713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHht0oXYuQ
713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouVWDPtdFQ
P.S. Screw you sis /j.713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HjXyGN0Ik
713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv46ZuyVS5U
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULBR8mV0pj
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECCa3jqXjz
713Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9mTQsHW8x
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
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