[bgm music to read to]
1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcUvrwYpSA0
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1oX4mw5ETG
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SHFV4yqh2
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WdGOkfYYs
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlokvWGRUJ
1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yy9Se6phw
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qqD9md0bs
1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6DkcqaYa6
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbv8bdAz4WN
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But...1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ436XdMEbMM
1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoy7uq7abyO
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrzVs39oPI
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbozZGLbZlF
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRhgm4waLs
Is absolutely not pathetic.1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalisVr3Z6d
You're not garbage."1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR83aFMe4GM
1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gRPqKIlN5
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfc3VpCf6Y
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8CZETq4lA
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I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNts6VAu61Y
1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMqu88nR9YS
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJQgymPX8D
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uR7KYFa7l
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7neWOzs5R
Your son doesn't want to get married.1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvU0ZEIse5a
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGjujc8oce
1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0uBCDq1xRY
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjPuUaO8yK
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88qBimuXju
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeKXh3C9fx
I'm scared of failing, so.
1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nlyCliuok
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiygGqcGlO
1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8QmM56Siy
Sincerely,1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnFNz9LnJf
Your son Charlie.1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0xwQ9oxPG
1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Mp8IfLu0Q
P.S. Screw you sis /j.1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvx0YeL31nc
1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0QwovUm1k
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuoqHrBo27
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjIMYrUVW1
1172Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbW1CRMZpa
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
and then Add to home screen.