我和一個o camp女女的故事 (已完結) - 四十九

四十九

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「嗯，早抖啦老公…」Jenny把聲雖然仲有啲哽咽，但比起一開始既時候聽落已經精神左小小。

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「早抖。」我向Jenny晚安。

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估唔到係響咁樣既情況之下結束左通話。

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唉。

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我望一望向阿冰既方向，佢依然熟睡中。

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嗯…啱啱可能係我錯覺，我同Jenny傾電話果陣好似眼尾見到阿冰望住我咁…

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我擰返轉頭望返自己部iPhone，罪惡感、內疚感、不安…好多種唔同既負面感覺一下子充斥全身…

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Jenny咁夜都唔訓，仲一直好擔心我，擔心到喊埋出黎…

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Jenny真係一個好女友，我只係一個人渣…

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諗諗下，諗埋呢三個幾月既胡作非為，我根本唔值得Jenny對我咁好…

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唔配做佢男朋友…

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唔止Jenny…

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連阿冰都係…

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我真係一個死仆街…

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連登既巴絲鬧得我好啱，我真係一個唔值得原諒既仆街，死左唔抵可憐，早死早著，唔好阻住個地球轉…

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我又諗起阿熙對我既勸告…點解我會唔認真聽佢既勸告呢…聽左既話，我一早同阿冰保持返距離，係咪就唔會發生今日既事？

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Jenny佢今晚既語氣，除左擔心我既安全之外，後半部既對話都好奇怪…

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冇理由佢會估到今晚發生咩事架喎…

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但係懷疑呢？

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佢會唔會懷疑我出軌呢？

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但我保密工夫應該一直都做得好好，除非…除非…

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除非淫龍盃響Jenny屋企過夜果晚Jenny真係睇到阿冰send比我既messages。

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再加埋入左hall之後我傾電話成日hea鳩佢。

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短訊唔再即時覆。

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一星期見得一次。

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然後最近同Jenny既感情好似再淡左。

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咁樣所有野加埋，Jenny唔胡思亂想先怪…然後佢就會想像我出軌…

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…

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…

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…

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唔係想像，我根本就係出左軌！

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不過Jenny唔會咁諗既…

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唔會，唔會既…

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如果果陣Jenny睇到我啲messages既話仲唔即刻問我咩，駛乜拖到而家先黎亂估？

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一定係咁。

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佢點會亂諗野呢？

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係咪？

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係咪？

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總之，由聽日開始，唔係，係由呢一刻開始，我要做返個好男朋友。

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唔可以再出軌，之後要再對Jenny好好！

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…

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但係，我仲有咁既資格咩？

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我既內疚、後悔同罪惡感話比我知，Jenny值得一個更好既男朋友，唔係我呢啲仆街…人渣…

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一個更仆街既念頭響我心中升起…

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咁同Jenny分手，再同阿冰一齊呢…？

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我諗阿冰應該同我一樣，響仲同緊Jason一齊果陣，由唔知幾時開始，對我有好感，之後再鍾意左我…

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只不過我地兩個都各有伴侶，先冇再進一步既行動…

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咁而家佢同左Jason分左手，佢果邊既枷鎖已經冇左…

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如果我同Jenny分埋手既話…

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咁大家咪名正言順咁可以響埋一齊？

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…

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梁建威，你食撚屎啦，你係咪人黎架？Jenny對你咁好，你諗住同佢分手再同阿冰一齊？

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…

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問心果句，我仲鍾唔鍾意Jenny？

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…

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鍾意，我仲鍾意佢，我唔想同佢分手…

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但我竟然背住同阿冰搞埋一齊…

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至於我鍾唔鍾意阿冰？

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我都鍾意阿冰…

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唔經唔覺，原來佢已經響我個心入面佔左一個好重要既位置…

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好重要既位置…

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但我唔能夠對Jenny唔住…

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…

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屌你梁建威，你已經做左對唔住Jenny既事啦…

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…

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唔可以同Jenny分手…佢可能根本唔知發生咩事…咁樣分手既話對佢唔公平…

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係分手既，都應該係因為Jenny揭發左我既奸情已由佢提出…

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我腦海中一片混亂…

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我將我塊面埋響雙手入面…

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良久…

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良久…

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唔知過左幾耐，我背脊突然感覺到有兩團肉球貼近。

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好溫暖。

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係阿冰既雙乳。

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仲感覺到佢兩粒櫻桃。

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好似凸起左…

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然後有兩隻手由後面橋左我條頸。

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係阿冰雙手。

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阿冰赤裸地跪左響張床邊從背部攬住我。

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連個心都感覺都好溫暖。

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「有咩事唔開心？」阿冰柔聲地問：「可唔可以講比我知？」

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我仲係冇出聲。

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「等我幫你分擔下，就好似你開解我失戀咁…」阿冰把聲好溫柔：「記住，呢一刻，我仲係你女朋友…」

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嗯…

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呢一刻…

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只係有呢一刻，因為我地既關係係期間限定的…

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「冇事…」我搖一搖頭。

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「咁…我會陪住你…」阿冰將佢個頭挨落我膊頭上面。

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我細佬情不自禁咁抬頭…

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阿冰好明顯係見到，笑左一笑…

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笑到我心神盪漾…

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都話男人個腦唔係生響個頭度，而係生響賓周度。

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我唔夠半個鐘之前我先話後後悔背住Jenny出軌，仲自己承諾自己唔會再出軌…

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但轉個頭，我已經回身熱吻阿冰…

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阿冰冇再講乜野，只係熱切咁回應我既吻…

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我肯定佢既眼神係清醒，而唔係飲醉。

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…

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然後我地又再一次天人合一了…

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呢一刻我同阿冰一齊全裸咁訓響佢張床上面。

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陽光微微地從窗外透入。

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阿冰攬住我訓著左，微弱既陽光映照住佢仙女般既胴體，好靚好靚。

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但我呢刻冇心情欣賞。

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我訓唔著。

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成晚都訓唔著。

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我望住阿冰間房雪白既天花板，沉思。

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我尋晚其實射左四次精，將淫慾都射晒出黎，連帶個人都開啟左聖人mode。

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個腦暫時由賓周移返上個頭度。

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後悔嗎？

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呢一刻當然後悔。

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全身上下充滿罪惡感。

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明明幾日之前已經意識到要對阿冰斬情絲，到頭黎都係功虧一簣…

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我仲可以點樣去面對Jenny…

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我仲有資格去愛Jenny？

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我仲有資格去得到Jenny既愛？

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