我和一個o camp女女的故事 (已完結) - 五十

五十

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天光了。

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但改變唔到眼前已經發生既事。

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我感覺到懷中既阿冰微微咁郁左一郁。

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阿冰微微睜開眼睛，甜甜地望住我講：「早晨。」

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我強笑回應返佢：「早晨。」

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令大家失望喇，聖人mode開啟既我，冇諗過黎多次morning q。

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大家對望良久…

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阿冰突然面紅紅咁話：「不如…我地著返衫先？」

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呀，係喎，我地呢個時候兩個都仲係全裸。

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既然大家既期間限定情侶關係即將完結，仲係肉帛相見唔係幾好既…

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我地大家都著好衫之後，相對而望。

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阿冰眼神中帶住不捨。

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我諗我眼神應該都差唔多，我都好唔捨得阿冰。我鍾意佢，呢點冇得呃自己。

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不過，我估我既眼神應該更加複雜。

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會唔會連罪惡感、後悔同不安都會反映響我既眼神入面呢？

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阿冰靠前攬住我，將頭埋響我胸前，細細聲咁講：「我…好羨慕Jenny…」

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我苦笑一下，回答：「羨慕Jenny？羨慕佢有個出軌既男朋友？」我自嘲一下。

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阿冰抬頭望一望我：「放心，尋晚既事我唔會同任何人講。」

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我搖一搖頭：「唔係呢個問題…」

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阿冰將右手食指放響我咀唇上面，搖一搖頭，道：「聽我講埋先。」

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「嗯。」

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「其實我知道你唔係咁隨便既人，你唔係果種會周圍玩女仔然後同佢地上床既果種男仔。」阿冰柔聲地道。

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我心下苦笑。

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阿冰你咁睇得起我？

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冇錯，我唔係一個player，但我而家咪一樣背住Jenny同你上左床？

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彷彿睇空左我既心思一樣，阿冰話：「我話你唔係咁隨便既人，係因為我知你係因為鍾意我，所以先會同我…咩既，係咪？」講完之後對住我甜甜一笑。

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我情不自禁咁點一點頭。

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我真係鍾意阿冰。

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唔知幾時開始，佢響我個心入面已經佔左一個無可取代既地位。

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但…咁又點？

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Jenny對我黎講都係一樣咁重要，一樣係無可取代。

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「其實…我感覺到架…就算…響再之前既時候…我都感覺到架…」阿冰越講越細聲…

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咁你就應該一早疏遠我啦…

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咦？

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定係…

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莫非…

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「咁…你對我呢…？」我想確認清楚。

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阿冰古惑咁笑住望左我一眼：「唔話你知。」

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之後再挨返個頭落我心口，再細細聲咁問：「乜你…乜野都感覺唔到咩…」

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其實…

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我諗我係感覺得到…

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即使當時自己唔敢去奢望果份感覺係真既…

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如果唔係，我唔會拉佢去玩鬼屋…

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如果唔係，我annual dinner果晚唔會提出做佢一晚男朋友…

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想開解阿冰、唔想佢唔開心呢啲只不過係導火線…

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即使阿冰果陣因為Jason既事唔開心…

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即使阿冰果陣未同Jason分手…

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但係…即使唔係好肯定，但我係感覺到既…

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我同阿冰冇再出聲，只係互相攬住大家，默默地過埋期間限定情侶關係既最後時光…

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良久…

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良久…

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我地分開返。

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「你呀，仲同緊你個Jenny一齊架。記住下次唔好再咁易對女仔動情呀。」阿冰說道。

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「嗯。」我唔想架…我都唔想咁易鍾意左你架…

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「好啦，我地今次真係分別啦。你去搵返你既Jenny啦。」阿冰不捨地道。

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眼中仲好似有小小淚光…？

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「咁你…」我擔心阿冰呀…

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「唔駛擔心我架喇，我咁大個人識得照顧自己。」阿冰擠出一個笑容，頓了一頓又道：「今次分別完之後…我地唔好再搵大家啦，好冇？」

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雖然我都有咁既打算…但由阿冰把口講出黎，總係令我覺得心痛…

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「再同你響埋一齊既話…我驚我真係會忍唔住搶左Jenny既男朋友呀…」阿冰古古惑惑咁笑一笑。

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…

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…

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你已經搶左一半啦…

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至少我已經分左我個心一半比你…

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「嗯…」我諗我既表情應該都幾難睇。

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「唔好咁既樣啦。」阿冰走上前，再道：「好啦，今次真係最後啦。」

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阿冰gut高左小小對腳，再吻向我雙唇。

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良久…

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良久…

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雙唇分開…

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「最後既goodbye kiss啦…」一滴眼淚從阿冰既眼中流左出黎：「再見啦…老公…」

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阿冰仲叫緊我老公…

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「嗯…再見啦…」我抹一抹阿冰臉上既淚水，再轉身準備出門。

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眼角亦不禁流下一滴眼淚。

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「阿威。」阿冰叫住我。

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我停低，但冇擰轉身。

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「以後要對你女朋友好啲呀。」

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我唔記得果日我究竟係點過。

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我好似有打過比Jenny，但完全唔記得自己講啲乜。

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我好似全部堂都走晒。

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我好似冇出過房。

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我好似冇食過野。

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我好似冇再搵過阿冰。

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我好似有同hallmates傾計但完全唔知自己講緊乜。

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個腦充斥住同阿冰渡過既每一個時光。

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個腦充斥住對阿冰既思念。

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全身充斥住對Jenny既內疚。

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全身充斥住罪惡感。

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全身充斥住不安。

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個腦好似不斷咁迴響緊阿冰同我講既最後一句說話。

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「以後要對你女朋友好啲呀。」

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咁就過左一日。

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星期五。

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我勉強打起精神。

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但係…

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「以後要對你女朋友好啲呀。」

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好似不斷咁響我個腦海入面出現。

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我今日冇再走堂，亦都有去canteen食野。

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先唔好話心理上面，但至少我生活作息好似正常返小小。

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唔可以頹落去，如果唔係好易比Jenny發現我有唔妥。

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我望一望個電話，阿冰真係冇再搵過我。

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當然我都唔打算搵佢。

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另外，由於翌日就係大專盃既第一場比賽，所以陳sir響今日安排多一節既操練。

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對手係港大。

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（待續）

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