"Nothing heals heartbreak like screaming Olivia Rodrigo at full volume."
From: [email protected]97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXkugTgFP1
To: [email protected]97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tM0OBwFYA
Subject: pettiest playlist of the year goes to… me
eli.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZyYD7pr5x
i made a playlist titled “for when your groupmate uses comic sans and your faith in humanity breaks.”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9L8CxqRtY
i’m currently scream-singing to track 4 while eating cereal with a fork because all my spoons are in the sink.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEJ29CdxkG
it’s a mood.
– maya97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5R3EKTNS5
sad. dramatic. cereal-forking.
From: [email protected]97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPalamqTic
To: [email protected]97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTy1JgQqYO
Subject: cereal fork is a vibe
maya.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2E0jZf0t5
track 4 better be “good 4 u” or i’m calling the authorities.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBMCezL0bc
also, the fork thing is valid. i once drank iced coffee with a knife. no regrets.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xgsYe163V
send me the playlist. for... peer review.
– eli97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3NOCZUEU8
music snob, chaos enabler
From: [email protected]97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDE2QUTNw1t
To: [email protected]97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwK2B7BBfRx
Subject: attached: rage therapy 💕
okay you asked for it.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlIfqEqY5I
enjoy: [https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4mtUmL00VaYfC0gkEH0Odt?si=uPQWcd-5RuGOfoOppIcfQg] “dear god why do men” — a playlist in five stages of grief, three accidental crushes, and one cup of weaponized spite.
tracklist highlights:
misery business – paramore
better than revenge – taylor swift
good 4 u – olivia rodrigo
brutal – also olivia, my queen
should’ve said no – taylor again, obviously
kill bill – sza (i don’t condone murder, but i vibe)
– maya97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAAqitSdF9
the most dramatic person you never met
From: [email protected]97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmN0dKHl35C
To: [email protected]97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yjh54mNaw
Subject: playlist review: violently iconic
maya.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgaeVpmWwY
i have goosebumps.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmAbzYu3AG
i want to fight someone. i don’t even know who. but i’m hyped.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMFZ9TLC3t
“kill bill” came on and i almost texted my ex “good luck.”97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AFUWAKk9X
i didn’t. but spiritually, i did.
also: “dear god why do men” deserves a grammy for best emotional support.
– eli97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDejW4XngH
threatened. inspired.
From: [email protected]97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlHK0Wic93
To: [email protected]97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8X3vGstcFR
Subject: so we’re rage soulmates now?
eli,97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSL92NrYjA9
you passed the vibe check.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3YzUyLmam
you didn’t question my musical angst or my cereal fork.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwRlW5Ofq9
this feels like the start of something irrationally comforting.
ps: have you ever cried to phoebe bridgers in a parking lot or is that just me?
– maya97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwKQ2k2ke3
emotionally stable adjacent
From: [email protected]97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwizQ8Fpgp7
To: [email protected]97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTmWOuMIra
Subject: phoebe bridgers made me cry at the DMV
maya.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZeTJsfSC8a
“motion sickness” came on. i was holding a ticket that said A132.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCF1GFxdeH
i did cry.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpW6sjOLBQM
the security guard offered me a tissue and a mint.
so yes. we’re bonded now.
– eli97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbDVawHAtU
co-president, feelings club
From: [email protected]97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SDSSniMxN
To: [email protected]97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3P4USJD6vR
Subject: certified mood
i would like to formally nominate you as:
my email pen pal
my official heartbreak soundtrack consultant
and co-author of “texts we never sent but emotionally screamed”
it’s a growing resume. benefits include emotional chaos and unsolicited memes.
– maya97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEM9IrRgLEW
possibly your new internet pen friend
From: [email protected]97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDHKXUAE6J
To: [email protected]97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTaqRE9pPLO
Subject: i accept the role
with great inbox comes great responsibility.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKppI8YRGP8
you send the songs, i’ll send the sarcasm.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2M6IFDflDn
together we’re like...97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnWGxPtSXA
the emotional avengers.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNax8DV0wzG
no capes though. just playlists.
– eli97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qbdx1n31V
ready to rage, reply, repeat
Attachment: Liner Notes from Eli Martin97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZ8LomLjWb
🎧 “dear god why do men” – Reviewed
📝 liner notes by eli, who has clearly felt too much and judged too many fonts
Track 1: Misery Business – Paramore97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWxJ0Zj2sb
this track made me want to break up with someone i’m not dating.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwazyvZLUtW
⭐ rage level: 9.5/10
Track 2: Better Than Revenge – Taylor Swift97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQeWAXPG8X
may have shouted “she’s not a saint!” at a squirrel.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpTxK3vdvF
⭐ sass factor: 11/10
Track 3: good 4 u – Olivia Rodrigo97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNhr0ZXEen
screamed into a spoon. felt better.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgRalMdQ9N
⭐ catharsis: 10/10
Track 4: brutal – Olivia Rodrigo97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bQuWRFIi1
i knocked over a lamp. worth it.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxG9DFxVcE5
⭐ chaos energy: unmeasurable
Track 5: should’ve said no – Taylor Swift97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAFdHvmBFE
the rain cried for me.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiC3ohEQ6q
⭐ drama: peak
Track 6: Kill Bill – SZA97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQqY19ZYHQ
i do not condone murder. but i understand.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVp67gIIKB
⭐ emotional weaponry: activated
Final thoughts:97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51pVNRjHVs
this playlist isn't therapy. it's exorcism.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeQ9kxndPG
i feel seen, personally attacked, and spiritually lighter.97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcufFo8BOs3
maya, if you ever make another one — please consider me your chaos consultant.
– eli97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ7GEiBqhL8
officially unwell in a poetic way
然後按「加至主畫面」