《窮撚被女飛之鳩闖魔法世界》 - 第一章 - 窮撚總要重複的被飛

「Come on, James，可唔可以成熟啲呀? 」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmh7gRJYt1N
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpj9zba9Pi
嘩屌！Come on James? 雖然我係叫占屎，但Evelyn你唔係要將陶公子嘅潮文同我講一次呀?2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtoht8pVeBd
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgNREVfNRN
我放下手上的星冰樂，有點傻眼的看著眼前的女朋友，Evelyn，她剛從澳洲Working Holiday回來一個月。我倆剛討論我們的未來，我只是有點敷衍的回答了一下，就得到了這句「Come on, James」。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgimj2PNTI
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHv2cW4UGZG
「你有無發覺，自從我喺Australia返嚟之後，我哋好似有啲唔夾? 」在Starfuck內，她一面調拌著眼前的Chamomile Tea，一面宣讀她的判詞，完全無視這杯Chamomile Tea其實係唔需要攪勻的。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzHjH2RM9S
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0cgPtkhhHX
「I mean，其實喺畢業之後，我哋嘅世界好似越嚟越遠，我諗，大家都到咗呢個年紀，係咪應該冷靜咁find out，點樣去解決呢場crisis呢? 」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuiRg1MoE2
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfg94qGRH8
我頂你個肺！你唔駛真係將篇潮文嘅對白背哂出嚟呀? 而家真係去過一年Working Holiday就大撚哂? 每講一句都要夾硬插啲英文單字入去?2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb698l0R2w7
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2vekl3lRh
雖然我不是潮文中滿臉暗瘡，架著銅絲眼鏡的毒撚，但這些對白一樣觸動了我的自尊神經。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3DdIdTSDI
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYQTwVg3Uk
我嘗試作出最後掙扎﹕「我知，你即係嫌棄我啫。你返到嚟就即刻入咗魔根屎單尼，你叻你好嘢。我只係做緊個文員仔，要返5日半仲要成日OT，我配你唔起，但我會努力賺錢，我哋公一份，婆一份，一樣可以買樓結婚㗎。」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YLDgP1NeG
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04Nnisinq3
Evelyn輕輕搖頭，狀甚遺憾﹕「係Morgan Stanley。」她頓了頓，又道﹕「喺你眼中，我就係一個咁現實嘅女仔? 其實我哋嘅differences，喺畢業嗰陣已經出現，我有叫你同我一齊去Australia，但你點答我? 你話已經搵到工，話去一年嘥時間，我喺嗰刻就一直諗，我哋係咪屬於兩個唔同level嘅人。」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4d2UFDS4We
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJqRdYcHVA
哪有錢！你老母！2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJtkpQsf9w
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDSJKM1iZC
你明知道我一畢業就已經負資產，而且還要儲錢跟你結婚，那還可以浪費一年時間跟你浪跡天涯！2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT48OFWqWBv
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztcey1ov5b
我意識到我們已經到了無可挽回的地步，但還是不甘心地上訴﹕「你知道我要還關窿㗎，我都應承咗你等我升職加人工會同你去一次日本。唔通無錢都係一種罪過? 如果係，點解你唔老實講? 」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNWXUyhpBvP
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「I'm not talking about money, you know that.」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKUAzLJ97j
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撈? 我撈你老味！2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEfnqbGsou
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGkBeUPk6I
我忽然冷靜下來，沒有像潮文中的毒撚發脾四就咁走咗去。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9RFQai7ys
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhS63Gr3j4
或許，變了心的女人，就像借出去的錢一樣，找收數佬也收不回來。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmVOHqOYZf
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuV9pYvowUB
「咁，分手啦。」我揮一揮衣袖，不帶走一片雲彩。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5BeZkYiV4
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3w9l7SU0Q
Evelyn的嘴角若有若無的向上彎了一下，然後微微點點頭﹕「James, we are still friend.」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4FGtNbcFu
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQYcAm27XJ
她輕輕呷了一口微涼的Chamomile Tea，然後站起來，離開。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomx1f2omeT
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKLNyKFBk5
我惆悵的看著眼前只剩半杯的Chamomile Tea，憶起跟Evelyn剛相識時她的一臉羞澀，那個怯怯的濕吻，那夜在宿舍輕輕脫下的胸圍，那對溫軟動人的33C，肉體與肉體碰撞時的啪啪聲，還有那令人念念不忘的口技......2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFpptMW9G0
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCE1ZvT1kyL
你老母！2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9j6qs0x1m
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgBanRG7Cx
我一拍桌面，發出的呯然巨響嚇得周圍只買一杯咖啡卻坐一整天的偽文青目定口呆，然後霸氣地離開這個傷心地......2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz01bD0KyRM
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正當我昂首闊步走到街上，打算用霸氣遮掩被飛的事實時，一輛R8在我身側駛過。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJLPvvR6Lj
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9J1j10X1po
我瞄了車廂一眼，坐在副駕的，正是剛飛走我的Evelyn，她正巧笑倩兮的跟司機聊天。我再看真一點，那個司機，身無四両肉，梳著一個比比鳥頭，身穿窄身slim cut粉藍色西裝，是一個比MK更MK的MK仔。而這個MK仔，赫然就是那天跟Evelyn一起從澳洲回來，Evelyn說是在飛機上認識的ABC。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBHzCBgSw1
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1WW4PEui0
我隱約感到，我在香港Holiday Working的時候，她已經在Working Holiday途中送給我一頂綠油油的綠帽。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4conWi6Z18
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVtCHQD2ME
屌那星！的士！2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl46yd4D7Yj
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2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVKWCQ6uIc
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvljk4g4maT
怒從心中起，惡向膽邊生！我毅然伸手截的，並跟司機說跟著前方的R8。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnX0Mhdxzp
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQkVvQeRVAr
司機從倒後鏡中瞄了我一眼，我吼道﹕「唔駛望啦，係拍緊戲呀！快啲追上去啦！後面成隊crew跟緊呀！」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJYADeKs27
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8VJqcN5p7
的士司機立刻像吃了春藥一樣，發動引擎馬上就追了上去。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡci3GHOovH7
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVY3RCewtR
司機的聲音很興奮﹕「拍緊咩戲呀? 我有無對白㗎? 邊個做男主角呀? 係咪發哥呀? 」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpRoMfmUzX
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uG7KrECxE
其實我唔多想理佢，但係為咗令佢發揮佢嘅小宇宙，我唯有指住我粒衫鈕話﹕「呢道裝咗個微型鏡頭，你嘅角色係一個過氣嘅一級方程式賽車手，性格沉默寡言，為咗屋企人放棄自己嘅賽車夢轉而揸的士。今日我咁啱上咗你部車去追揸R8嘅歹徒，你要發揮你所有潛能追上去，有無問題? 」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡedhvW9InKe
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「無問題！交比我！」的士佬興奮的大聲回答。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHhfoX3Yyp
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pYuuxpcuq
「好！頭先嗰段我會叫導演cut咗佢，一陣我嗌action你就即刻入戲！」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsA6MQK7E86
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHOMfVLfEi
的士司機馬上撥一撥稀疏的髮絲，然後給了我一個堅定的眼神。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt80KkPBpCw
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eNCHuep0i
「Action！」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZluMTAQPi
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUnKeewVZ5
一聲令下，引擎咆哮一聲，的士呼嘯而去，在高速公路上逢車過車。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡml8lxy3pit
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcoyhVHh3tA
眼看就要跟R8並排而行，比比鳥像發現被人跟蹤，R8越駛越快，漸漸拋離我們。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjdaptzxn6
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHC6wYQulk
老實說的士司機的技術認真不賴，只是顯然比比鳥也不是吃素的，而且車款性能明顯不止輸一個檔次。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhvv7bFXem
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5vuusmCbs
眼見遠方的R8駛離了高速公路，到我們跟上去的時候，他們已經消失無蹤，而且我們也被逼停在交通燈前。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPqQOQM4t8
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSF7Q7uLLPR
我一拍椅背，深深不忿﹕「仆你個街！咁都追唔到！」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJnrjiB4Gb
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lhFK57156
的士司機很稱職的演繹沉默寡言的性格，他只是利用倒後鏡用眼神問我﹕「咁而家點? 」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdhzS6MTe5
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HMzmZCFcc
雖然我也不知道截住他們有甚麼用，但我有點死心不息﹕「喺附近兜幾個圈，睇吓撞唔撞到。」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7GWj8yTxd
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2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwNn6VZtlh
的士司機按我的指示在附近兜截，但明顯地R8已經逃離現場，我一無所穫。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrdjNV7tWT
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7PuGRuM3sr
我垂頭喪氣伏在前方倚背，腦袋放空，完全不知道該怎樣做。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlOCUdtUwL
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguR15CJZl8
的士司機輕聲問我﹕「咁我哋下一場戲係點呀? 」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6yX00hCF6
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVHStOju65
我從銀包中拿出一張五百元遞給他，有氣無力道﹕「車我去一個無人嘅地方，我要冷靜吓。」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7FiFNvV1p
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ716UPyRkTp
他接過鈔票後，一聲不響的開車，過了不知多久，我感到引擎關掉了。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEGFvPxUsV
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IrVr9mKvJ
我抬頭一看，車外有點灰濛濛一片，有草有樹，四野無人，是一條窄窄的山路，這裏是甚麼地方?2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVdm0uBYYb
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCgad3iBPu
「好cut！Good take！」是時候令他回歸現實。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfYlTKrNwD
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6Sbw0vBbK
的士佬馬上一輪嘴問我﹕「點呀點呀? 我演成點呀? 」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxETaS0NNHN
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbP9wiHlKa
我戴上藍芽，裝作正跟導演溝通﹕「呀......好好！導演話你演得入型入格，做得非常好！」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tolVNl08x
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIQkc6Gxvw
「係? 咁我會唔會仲有戲份? 其實我覺得自己好戲過林雪，而且又靚仔過佢！」他又撥一撥稀疏的頭髮。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqe2i8xO8O
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3BPvrsNeD
我打開車門，下車之前跟他說﹕「導演喺我頭先上車嗰度拍緊另一組戲，你去搵佢，睇吓佢會唔會安排一下啦，我會同你講幾句好說話。」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIx8wNZrD0
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0L4W7lLegn
的士司機千恩萬謝﹕「唔該哂你呀哥仔，我攞金像獎嗰陣一定會多謝你㗎！係呢，點稱呼呀? 」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFANKewQLAa
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4g7fEK84aN
「叫我Come on James啦......話時話，呢度邊度呀? 」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrL4hkluG8N
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡib35SrQZG1
「大帽山呀，你話要無人嘛，駛唔駛我車返你去搵導演? 」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WAnnnpdOC
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFhivv6PKB
我揮揮手﹕「唔駛啦，我仲要演一幕獨腳戲，一陣會有人接我啦，你走先啦。」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZo1EiOmZqM
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5f3hxUJSp
的士司機露出羡慕的表情，然後依依不捨的離開。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGK3NeGJF9
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我看著漸漸遠去的的士，又轉頭望向另一方向，看來這條路可以一直上山頂，就上去看看吧。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoRrdMG9ub
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走著走著，我到了一個可遠眺城市的地方，看著一棵棵如火柴般的樓宇，心裏不禁在想，我到底是為了甚麼而努力? 辛苦讀書工作，OT受氣，換來的，就是一頂綠帽?2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtC3dDr7C5x
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我忍不住撿起一塊石頭，使勁丟到遠方，然後向天大嗌﹕「死仆街港女！」2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEDXzFEUlO
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轟隆！2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hgYiai7Bt
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回應我的，卻是一聲雷響。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVeNkHUvEr
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我嚇了一跳，然後瞄一瞄天空，灰灰暗暗的正被密雲籠罩，似是快要下雨。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZCQtKAFoD
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屌！連個天都唔鍾意我? 你等我落咗山先好落雨喎！2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUUdbskBUT
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjGMjaO4nHU
才走了幾步，正想打電話call的士之際，突然感到尿急。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6tKZ3lBgx
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJAyLKhT5V
我左望望右望望，視線範圍之內，不要說廁所，連坑渠都沒有一條。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmg5g9rXg0q
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算了，反正無人，求其快手屙咗篤尿就走。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXr2jqm8QB
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZdvKAI8Sy
我走到路邊的一棵樹下，對著樹幹拉下褲鍊就開始小解。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdBAFFDGaG
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正當我才開始解放，卻已經下起大雨。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVAEGbBVcA
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkunpz4tZzz
我頂你！你落雨都比我屙埋先啦！駛唔駛咁趕呀?2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWGhVTHuAB
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkw2kvyc7r
我馬上氣運丹田，使勁將所有尿液盡快逼出體外，樹幹已經被我濺得濕漉漉一片。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdZ5O0dwuf
2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSuIqM33EM
卻說這個時候，突然眼前白光一閃，耳際一聲雷響，我感到身體如遭電亟，鼻端傳來一陣燒焦味，然後我就失去了知覺。2234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfaCcvaR97