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I am quietly installed in my office. This is my own place, in this family home. Far from the adventures of my children, I appreciate being able to breathe calmly from time to time. There, I decompress and take the time to think, to drown myself in my thoughts, in my memories.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡReIRbfJJsk
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. I quickly slip the photo I had been looking at for several minutes into the pocket of my blouse, and pretend to be concentrating on a file. I barely have time to say, “Come in” when the door opens to reveal my daughter. At seventeen and a half years old, she has behaved like a real tornado since the start of her adolescence, four years earlier. However, in her face framed by long brown hair, childhood can still be seen.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfoMvP0pAj
— Mom, I need to talk to you about something super important ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEm8hkMX66
I suppress a smile. With Orlane, everything is always mega important ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7DtOmBn6c
— Ok I hear you.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjfhDY2h5J
— With Alexandra, we would like to get a tattoo ! She says, excited, as if it’s the best news of the year.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRb9ueX0wkN
— A tattoo ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5NuR1xNd6
She nods energetically.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVtCNjTGW3
— While you are still a minor ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYkWH720Au
— Soon to be an adult.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1AFhlEKVm
— Yes, so seventeen years and counting.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWkUJWLpf9
— If you say so. So, is it yes ? I need parental consent to do this.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaJEiXoY6y
— No way ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSCWkg3QYc
As I expected, my daughter's face turns an angry red, while her light eyes darken.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWGD6Yn9B8
— You never let me do anything cool ! She shouts, slamming the door behind her.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iVuKqxVw0
Another of these great classics is to avoid any discussion by taking long strides. I hear him scream.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkMd6DQ5fc
— She always forbids me from everything ! She’s never there for us ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcrDXYU8Xa
— You exaggerate ! Mom is always there whenever we need her, tries to calm my son down in a paternalistic tone.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNK7CFy3CmB
Calm, thoughtful and very mature in nature for a young man of sixteen, my son has a character that is the polar opposite of that of his sister.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNahJjiM9pf
— She’s not a cool mother ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMLSeyYMIr
I decide to join them in the kitchen.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlcqyRFmap
— If being fashionable means letting you drink alcohol, do drugs, let you date anyone, or allow you to get tattoos, then no, I'm not cool...452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfVS8I4lWq
— But why don’t you want to ? After all, it’s just a little drawing on the skin, adds my daughter with a pout.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRe4oIxdtAz
My God, how tenacious she is… Like me ultimately.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEt80PZdrQ
— Orlane, the day you want to get a tattoo for a good reason, I will accept, but not to be like your friends.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnaxdeZupPS
My son looks at us, imperturbable.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAMJm9QI67
— You definitely have a tattoo ! She accuses me, angrily.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazKNbJDAkE
I look down, weighing the pros and cons, and end up telling them : 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8uW3FzQQL
— Follow me to the living room, both of you. I need to talk to you.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVbL59fL8A
Without a word, they accompany me, and each sit in one of the large armchairs, facing mine.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDD2XmysUzi
— You are both old enough now for me to tell you a story. And please don't interrupt me. The story I am about to tell you is personal to me, but it is important that you know it, because it has made us who we are.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7i8Q7ynG2
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It all started on September 26, 1991 : 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyquPTLRpo
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Autumn has not yet arrived although the leaves of the trees are starting to turn red under the less intense rays of the sun.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1rOTDt8Fq
I detail my reflection while doing my hair in front of the mirror. I don't think I'm pretty, although many people tell me otherwise. I'm not very tall, I don't have the figure of a top model, in fact, I find myself rather ordinary. Not to mention this damn hair that refuses to stay styled the way I want it ! Giving up trying to tame them, I abandon my hairbrush and go down the stairs of the house. I'm so happy to be in high school where I'm now one of the big guys. Sixteen is the age where my real life begins, the age where my parents finally treat me like an adult and no longer like an immature child. The age when all dreams are achievable and desires possible.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDjvSVZ6xp
My mind escapes for a moment to fly towards Chad, my boyfriend of several months. Chad is young, handsome, athletic and intelligent when he manages to stay focused long enough on his homework instead of thinking about sports, which is hard for him. He's not very tall, but built like a sportsman : all muscles. I like his black hair in a crew cut, and his hazel eyes. We have known each other since childhood. I had been secretly in love with him for years. In high school, I was known for being the type of serious girl, always top of the class, which did not attract boys, much to my despair. Chad is the most popular boy in school, so there was no chance he would be interested in me until a teacher asked me to help him with math. When he finally asked me to go out with him, I couldn't believe it anymore.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9ucQX08rM
For six months, Chad and I have been in perfect love...452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZkgihu9S4
Okay, we only exchanged chaste kisses, we don't go out much, instead spending our time watching movies at his house. I also admit that contrary to what I had always imagined, I don't feel this passion that romance novels boast about, perhaps this is due to the fact that we have few things in common. When Chad kisses me, I have the horrible feeling of kissing my best friend but I’m sure that with time, our story will become more intense, passionate and that this feeling will disappear. After all, he’s the one I always wanted so everything will work out in the end.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84no3EebQe
Letting out a romantic sigh, I enter the kitchen. Almost my entire family is gathered there : Ashley and John, my parents as well as Nina, my younger sister. The only thing missing is Nicolas, my big brother who recently left for New York University and who only comes home for the holidays.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfxQOiP8G1
— My little Megan… The more I see you, the less you look like my baby, my mother laments, staring at me.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOMuoBLRnM
She isn’t very tall, she has a face with soft features that charms most people she meets. I get her brown hair and blue eyes from her. She always expresses herself calmly, but with conviction.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRk3bBRb1YT
I act as if his rantings don't matter to me.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjVtLXE2v1
— Mom, I’ll always be your daughter. And then, you have Nina as a baby…452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9qtzKEa0v
My sister makes a face. At thirteen, she sees herself more as a teenager than as the youngest member of the family.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZrGXCUR3Z
— Are you still planning to go to Chad’s party tonight ? How many will you be ? Asks my father before swallowing his coffee.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKNz150zeG
— Yes I’m going. There will be about fifty of us.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJC0jkpJ2v0
My father coughs and chokes.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbGoOxXTDi
— That much ? Ask my mother in turn.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3g79MdA2li
I nod yes.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDXbvqKQi8
— There will be the whole class as well as Chad's friends, that's a lot of people, he's very popular at school.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVo6LVNun3
— That’s true, my father agrees with a touch of pride.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuYIEKzMEl
Even though he tends to be overprotective, I love my father very much. I find him a handsome man for his age. At forty, his dark brown hair begins to take on gray shades at the temples and expression lines slowly creep into his angular face, further marking his smile and his frown.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HS6vDFE0L
My father works in construction, his specialty is facade maintenance. He judges each house by the quality of its exterior paint ! My mother is a secretary in a real estate agency, which doesn't excite her, but she has fixed hours, which suits her perfectly. We are a middle class American family. We live in a residential neighborhood in the small town of Millisky, Pennsylvania, where almost everyone knows each other, if only by sight. The town has around five thousand souls. We have a hospital, shops, restaurants, cinemas, and even a large shopping center, so we never get bored. In addition, our town is surrounded by a beautiful forest which allows for long walks, we also have a lake about five kilometers to the south. To the west, a hill overlooks the city, it is the chic district where all the local bourgeois have built their beautiful homes, which most often only serve as second homes. To the north, a highway takes us to Pittsburgh, the nearest major city, a two hour drive, and to the east, Philadelphia is a three hour drive.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95ebCvm6kB
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A little later that day, I'm in the main hallway of the school. It is a large white building, some classrooms have faded walls, originally cream-colored, and the same goes for places of frequent passage. The central corridor has on each side of its walls, two rows of gray lockers stacked on top of each other. I take some books from mine when, turning around, I see a boy of average height, with brown hair and light eyes, walk past me. He looks at me furtively. When I meet his gaze, I feel like I'm falling from a ten- story building. It's a strange thing I've never felt before and it only lasts a few seconds. Coming to my senses, I tell myself that I must be going crazy.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgjnoCXAYO
— Not bad, admires Amy, my best friend, who followed my gaze.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oGqYMYw8R
— New student ? I'm asking perfunctorily as I'm sure I've never seen it before.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliyYlpHMCX
— I’ll find out, says my friend, narrowing her eyes with interest.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcSXWnVi3w
— In any case, he’s very cute, I can’t help but point out.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5hDyLpazy
— You're the one who says that, even though you're dating the hottest boy in school ! She exclaims, shocked.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvUxO2GJKC
I smile, remembering that Chad never wanted to go out with her. He preferred me. It's so rare for a boy to reject her that I know she harbors a little resentment towards me. She has never told me openly but sometimes, like this moment, she throws a little barb at me. Without being mean, it gets heavy some days. However, she has been my friend for so long that I don't see myself falling out with her over such a small matter.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KCbTDTsRb
Later that day, in history class, I am fascinated by the documentary that the professor shows us concerning the liberation of Europe during the Second World War. This is not the first report I have seen on the subject but each time, I am caught up in the violence, the abomination of this conflict. When the images of the concentration camps appear on the screen, I look away. This is too hard for me, so I concentrate on a completely different theme. Since the start of the course, I have had the strange sensation of feeling observed. As I turn to scan the class, I see the new student sitting two rows behind me, his eyes fixed on me. When he realizes that I have noticed him, he returns his gaze to the screen. I imitate him but after a few seconds, I turn around again.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKtfUDAzQl
Grid ! I thought, giving a hint of a smile as he refocused on the documentary. For long minutes, I no longer dared to move. It's stupid but this boy intimidates me.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgN9N38KHg8
When the film ends, I turn in my seat to follow the teacher as he walks around the class summarizing what we just saw. The newcomer is still staring at me. His look is indecipherable.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgA0iIFYOFk
— Imagine these families separated during endless years of war, imagine their suffering. If you had been in their place, would you have chosen resignation in the face of the invader or would you have opted for resistance ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAzgoPtHQf
I raise my hand, certain of my answer.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfp5XvZ76x4
— Yes Megan.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwgLTM9spn4
— I would have chosen resistance. Faced with injustice, I think I would have been incapable of looking at the situation without taking part in the fight.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIoHQ8UdvK
— Good. Someone else's opinion ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoiyNCewmFI
Many raise their hands including the new one.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8THj1e2Xmt
— And you, what do you think ? Asks the teacher, addressing him.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqssIUtwccN
— I believe that with hindsight, it is easy to give your opinion, but at that time, people who engaged in the resistance ran enormous risks, not only for themselves but also for those close to them. All this must be taken into consideration.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPtnZsH5dD
— Perfect, Jessy ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw1LZ3RHhmK
Jessy… 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRRVxtBsTT
I have a hard time taking my eyes off him even though his name resonates within me.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2Cm37mQPS
— For the next class, you will write me a presentation on this subject, continues the professor.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ePNhNH59G
The bell announcing the end of classes rings, the new guy immediately picks up his things and leaves, bowing his head. It makes me feel like I'm running away from the whole world.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlQoCtFJdy
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I head to the bathroom to put some gloss on my lips and find my friends Amy and Pearl there.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlDyvbsBxa
— So, Meg, where are you with Chad ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbmRt6MiWF
My cheeks immediately turn red.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshTW7Lml2V
— There is nothing to say.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8lNPu74kn
— Don’t tell us you haven’t done it yet, Amy insists.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbc5WuPLTXb
— Well no… Well, I mean, do you feel ready ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXvNIZFnCt
Amy shrugs. I know she hasn't been a virgin for some time.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMzADBrgkm
— There’s no reason, Pearl assures. You're with the boy you've always wanted, so why not go all the way ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPF2kaAOBlA
These words make me think more than they should. I've been dreaming about Chad for years, so why do I feel this stuck ? Why don't my feelings push me to open up completely ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREItUgfBjS
I feel lost and I know perfectly well that it's not my friends I could confide in. They would immediately judge me, thinking I'm crazy for asking myself a thousand questions when I'm dating a great guy.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yf3ogwPBO
If only Nick were here, I thought with regret.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSijiLxpRrR
My brother would be able to advise me perfectly. It's crazy how much I miss him. Looking forward to the next vacation so he can come back to see us.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFkBZHIriy
— By the way, have you seen the new one ? Pearl continues, arranging her brown hair in front of the mirror. He is too beautiful ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgvMBZfgpz
It’s true that he is beautiful ! A finely sculpted body without being skinny and a face with fine features that I find refined, piercing green eyes lined with long eyelashes, slightly messy light brown hair... I also memorized the little chain with at the end a cross that dangles from his left ear giving him a little rebellious side that I find sexy.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPjPYi7YjX
— I learned a few things about him...452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ro3mzQkNZ
This simple sentence from Amy focuses all my attention.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2FNfPqSXw
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A few hours later, at the end of classes, I found my father in the high school parking lot. This day is important to me. I pass my driving license. I am confident, because for several weeks, Chad has been teaching me everything there is to know and, according to him, I am ready.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1eEISuTuD3
— Megan, we need to talk, my father begins.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FAeqLWqwi
Already knowing that I am going to be treated to a moral lesson, I hold back a sigh.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbwQtCEE6E1
— It’s about that party at Chad’s. You know I trust you, but... knowing you with him until late...452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesvDqnOKEE
When I don't answer, he continues : 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQV8EtQb6Z
— Will you be… serious this evening ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkD4sTV3lkz
— Dad, I'm still a virgin and I don't plan on that changing tonight.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjathMz9zQ
— Thank God, he breathes with relief after grimacing.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPakhoh3Dvw
Shortly after, we return home, me with my license in my pocket and my father with the certainty that I am still innocent.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgD6pClmWu8
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In the evening, I found Chad at his house. He lives in a large, modern and chic house, close to the city center. Their villa includes three bedrooms with an independent bathroom, a games room, an office, a fully equipped kitchen and a gigantic living room which, that evening, easily accommodated fifty guests. Outside, in a garden, in which my entire house could fit, is a heated swimming pool. As the girlfriend of the owner of the house, I make a grand entrance. I'm wearing a pretty black silk dress, perfectly fitted, which suits me perfectly. I turn heads as I pass, especially Chad who only has eyes for me. The party is in full swing, the whole class has gathered there.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfstLa91ux0
I'm chatting with Amy in the corner of the room, when I spot the new student, Jessy, standing a little further away. He observes me while chatting with Stanley, a friend of my brother. He stares at me and gives me a small smile to which I can't help but respond.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5VUOelvBO
Why am I blushing ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQTdDX7xW4
— This guy is so hot. I'm going to go and get to know each other, Amy said to me, scrutinizing Jessy.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuH2rlmqZw
Without knowing why, my heart sinks.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudxbunoYrL
— Amy…, my reaction is stupid. You look very pretty with this dress.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8Y8Vvjxxf
She smiles. I see her approach Jessy, Stanley quickly walks away while Amy launches into a tirade, pointing out several people in the room. She must inform him of the gossip that is circulating. I can't help the pang of jealousy that creeps into me when I see her place a hand on Jessy's arm. At this moment, he looks up at me, his expression is indecipherable. I have to look elsewhere... But I can't do it.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIUKxvj3ab
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're having fun ? Chad appears in front of me and places his hands on my hips.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuTHtjcmuR
Finally I take my eyes off Amy and the new guy. I have to think about something other than his green eyes which make me feel like they are penetrating my soul.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfp8boVqesG
I place my lips on my boyfriend's in a brief kiss.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSBlZtSQ2v
— Where were you ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mdRdqbUCO
— I was walking around the house. Haven't you noticed that some people look like they've been drunk ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wVwI1yl7b
— Yes, I met Matt earlier, he reeked of alcohol.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6WDvlSP13
— Great, Chad breathes, annoyed. If my parents find out about this, I'm dead.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡye2F3YQozC
I glance in Jessy and Amy’s direction. He has disappeared while she returns to us, blowing : 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEl5mfrzIR
— This guy is weird ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2eRCgqVPE
— What happened with Jessy ? I said, trying to contain my relief.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUDtSj7a7b
— I don’t know, I was talking to him and, suddenly, he went out to get some fresh air. Who invited him anyway ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOH7zyBwAYk
— It's me. We had a class together, I told him it would be the best way to meet people.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMqoxHyYDz
How nice Chad is ! That's why I love him, my heart reminds me.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRQJbaZzcE
— I’m going to try to find out who brought the alcohol, he continues.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XlKs7KgHh
— I am coming with you.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOE2AmYIzdD
We leave Amy in the living room and head towards the kitchen. A group of American football players, of which Chad is the quarterback, are seated there.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGzWP0XRv4
— Damn, you guys are annoying ! I warned you though : no alcohol.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnYOnaT9gN
My boyfriend raises his voice.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXVaoDMI3b
— Relax, Chad, it's just beers.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbdcrYneGo
— Beers or not, if my parents find out I'll be in big trouble, get rid of it ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXEmyI9RKL
The five young people take their bottles while complaining and drop one which spills down the front of my dress.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9mY4NilZc
— It’s clever ! Chad exclaims as I gape.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiIjsFNKJp
I grab a roll of paper towels and try to wipe the alcohol off, to no avail.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpEfVLjcxR
— Come with me, my boyfriend said, taking me by the hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but you stink of alcohol. We're going to have problems with your parents if you leave like that again.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzMzymdZ8K
— I know, it’s because of your stupid friends ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKyQLThwq6
— I'm sorry. I have an idea. Go take a shower, and in the meantime, I'll wash and dry your dress and off you go, neither seen nor known ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mRDDSCq1B
Having little choice, I accept.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwqJIZaAhF
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Several minutes later, which seemed like an eternity, I found Chad in his room. I am in my bathrobe and my boyfriend is holding my clean dress in his hands when there is a knock at the door. Neither of us has time to make a move that Amy and Pearl are already initiating. They stand in the doorway, look at us and mutter an apology before closing the door, giggling.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSeCapY0IL
— Great, they’re going to think anything now, I mutter angrily.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpybSEwihA
— But no, they are your friends. You just need to explain the situation to them when we get down.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYypGu2kSnP
I'm not convinced, but Chad is right, they are my friends, they will definitely believe me. And then, I have nothing to reproach myself for.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1vzggLNwD
Clearly, this evening is far from being the evening I dreamed of ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOQSAwVXPp
When we join the guests on the ground floor, I immediately feel that they are staring at me with eloquent little smiles. I'm going to pour myself a glass of non alcoholic punch when Amy and Pearl come to talk to me.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyzwKhiZgW
— So, Meg, how was it ? Is Chad as good a shot as he seems ? Amy asks me, with a spark of curiosity in her eyes.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlahnW3z0tt
— What are you talking about ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhd4rKD8xB
— Of you and Chad half naked in his room ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNG5O6ggXq
— That’s not at all what you think ! Nothing happened ! Some idiots had spilled beer on me. I had to take a shower while Chad cleaned my dress and he was dressed in case you didn't notice ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uuBEhwio1
It annoys me to have to justify myself as if I had committed a crime.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIY325Jv60
— But of course ! Pearl replies, giggling with Amy before walking away towards other students in our class.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4qfpjXWHO
This story is crazy, and the worst part is that no one wants to believe me, not even my best friends, at least the ones I thought were real friends. The looks that I already found embarrassing became even more insistent, and shame invaded me. It’s a shame to feel this ! Sensing my discomfort, Chad comes to join me.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyP7oe67Mjo
— I'm going back.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Bktz7m7oh
— But no, stay, you're not going to let these idiots ruin your evening ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oSKQ95Rh7
He hugs me tightly to reassure me, but452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcPRo6Q7v0
I gently push him away. There are already enough comments as it is, there is no point in adding more.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPNFenVwPp
— No, I'm going back. See you tomorrow ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9s7ZJeBJp
Disappointed, he acquiesces. I kiss him on the tips of his lips as we usually do.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooHif5UClX
— You don’t want me to take you home ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbcVjYIMGK
— I need to walk...452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVoJmt4nJ0
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yAskGgSRQ
It feels good to be alone and to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet of the cool night. The moon just makes a crescent in the sky. Looking up, I admire the stars which, far from everything, don't care about the gossip that runs on Earth. Tears burn my eyes, I feel more alone than ever on this Earth which is definitely not running smoothly.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtWcmQcj3l
— Did you need to get some fresh air ? A soft voice nearby asks, bringing me out of my reverie.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB06lXtMqqf
Jessy is by my side, looking up to the sky.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhdxG4gIZu
— Yes. Exactly. You too ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1pWaVVj6g
This is the first time I've seen him up close. Immediately, my heart races. A small diamond shines in his ear, replacing the cross he wore during the day. Two locks frame his forehead, falling in front of his eyes when he lowers his head. I know I shouldn't stare at him like that, but I can't help it. I feel like an insect attracted by a light that hypnotizes it. He looks at me, gives me a smile. Why do I feel so intimidated around him ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrh1g9xq3J7
A breath of wind rises, making me shiver. Jessy takes off his black leather jacket and hands it to me, I put it on and thank him. Does he notice my trouble ? I don't know, but from his piercing gaze, I suspect he's enjoying the situation.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtmTlco9y9
— Yes, I needed to get some fresh air too, I don’t really like crowds. I saw you leaving, I thought maybe you’d like some company ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqcl2AS1Qu
— If you want, I shrug casually while being happy that he noticed me. Jessy, is that right ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xVrb0uVlz
He nods with a smile.
— I'm Meg...
— Megan, I know.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXBYyKOP5Q
I look at him, surprised.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mjMZvM40j
— Good. What else do you know about me ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKbwkdjIlv
— Let’s see… You’re the best student in class, and you’re dating the star player of the football team.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXe1qAv2wey
— You're good ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5gGoe7Vco
— I guess you must have heard something about me too ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLU6BoQcEuC
— Not much, actually. I just know that you are seventeen, that you have just arrived in Millisky and that you are repeating your school year.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxKOHyLpAr
— Everything is true. It's not that serious ? What upsets you..., he adds to my astonishment.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5WdPes6dP
— No, there are much worse things in life. It's nothing, just nonsense.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1trYCSbtq
— If it’s so harmless, then why did you leave your boyfriend’s party ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1VI8VjHb0
— Maybe because, this evening, I saw the true faces of my so called friends. My confidence in them melted like snow in the sun.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡob1N9ZD73G
Jessy sighs as she looks up again to look at the starry sky.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jIl73XIkS
— I know this feeling of disappointment well.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHKccgMYqg
— Did this happen to you too ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbwLZuTT0V
He seems surprised that I am interested in him and turns to me, burying his hands in the pockets of his pants.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dXTyZf1Gh
— To be betrayed, disappointed ? Oh yes ! Although I don't understand why your friends would turn their backs on you.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHncGFd6i7
— Haven't you heard the gossip spread by Amy and Pearl ? They told everyone that I slept with Chad. Even though I told them that this is not the case, they did not believe me, and worse, they preferred to continue to denigrate me.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZuCXPWSeN
As I tell him this, I search his eyes to check if he is sincere or if he is making fun of me like the others.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9u56W2l9Yv
— I have learned to no longer listen, and even less believe, what people say out of pure malice or jealousy. I am convinced that you are telling the truth.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOED3Di1IqQ
— You seem very sure of yourself for someone who doesn’t know me ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8hWkn8PNB
He locks his gaze on mine before responding : 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73jncK5GJp
— I see in you.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJPEbciTvV
This response leaves me speechless and upsets me more than it should. Faced with him, with his words, I feel lost. Fortunately, we arrived on my street and I just want to be alone to try to analyze what I feel.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OQwocQASC
— Thank you, I said, handing him back his jacket. And thank you for taking me home.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1EV9fPNXJ
— At your service, he says, turning left while I continue straight.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsyfI5F77f
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CDFSsZQJc
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzVBXtZgfp
The following days, nothing erases this attraction which pushes me towards Jessy. This makes me feel so guilty that I try to focus on my relationship with Chad, without really succeeding. As for Jessy, I feel like he's been running away from me since the other night. He looks away as soon as I look at him and doesn't speak to me anymore. I don't know what I did wrong for him to ignore me like that, but it pains me a lot. Perhaps he also ended up believing the nonsense that was circulated about my relationship ? If that were the case, I would be extremely hurt.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwfHzfGsOg
It was during history class that the teacher gave me the opportunity to get closer to him.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAmw2TaFp7
— I asked each of you to write a presentation on the last lesson.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡus8lE97pUg
At these words, several students point to their copy on their table.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyuuuKa43l
— Jessy, can you pick them up ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPA3UUO49Q
This one executes. When he reaches my height, his gaze finally anchors on mine. I feel like seconds are becoming minutes. At this very moment, I realize how much I've missed Jessy these past few days. His hand brushes against mine as I hand him my paper, making me want to grab it and never let go.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPYHEyy4DW
As if reading my thoughts, Jessy narrows his eyes slightly and purses his lips. Then he turns away towards the next table, breaking the spell that united us as the professor continues speaking : 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOPZwtYcVF
— To find out what you have learned from this course, I have prepared a written quiz for you.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2ldblA1sG
Immediately, boos are heard.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmDk1yHd85
— Yes, I know, I'm not nice. While you answer the questionnaire, I will go through your presentations and form teams of two. For next week, you will have to refine your different points of view, compare them, in order to share them in front of the whole class.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJQvxEB8QY
Although I am a good student, I don't particularly enjoy being on the board in front of everyone else and am already worried about who I will have to work with. As long as it's neither with Amy nor with452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAO8GXzKeBU
Pearl. I haven't spoken to them since the party at Chad's.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH9RTR4SKT1
They tried to come see me on Monday but I totally ignored them. Even if I find myself alone most of the time, Chad does not share all of my classes, I prefer that to being poorly accompanied.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡReW3pJtSGs
For long minutes, I put these thoughts aside to concentrate on the questioning.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡew1YAVog7b
When I finish, I raise my head and look behind me, towards Jessy who finishes a few seconds after me.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6lx9WR5SY
The teacher notices us because he tells us : 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbqvL8xGHH
— Alright. Megan and Jessy, you'll be teaming up next week. You can go.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbzUqEIPHy
At the same time, we get up and put our homework on the teacher's desk before leaving the classroom.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoqAsovW3p
I thought we were going to be able to discuss this project but already Jessy is quickly moving away.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3NO6usmh1
— Jessy, wait ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlqV0owoTA
He slows down, but doesn't stop.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5lNBdxBQg
— We need to discuss how we are going to approach this presentation.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpQ4okBXrJX
His shoulders relax and he exhales.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOvJ9lwkgr
— I don't like working with others. So I suggest you do your part on your own, I will do the same and we will meet again before the next class to compare our points of view.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY77r3X9H0c
— Thank you for your proposal but I refuse. There's no way I'm going to get a bad grade because you're antisocial.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbuyeJfMTu
— I'm not…452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3R0zRx3qw
Before he finishes his sentence, I raise an eyebrow which interrupts him.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDkk7BYL10
— Okay, maybe I am a little, he admits with a little smile. Alright, you win Megan.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsSShSATca
Feeling like I need to take advantage of my advantage before he changes his mind, I quickly scribble my address on a piece of paper and hand it to him.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglngJ84f3F
— Come to my place at the end of classes, we will be quiet to study.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yLbqWmtnx
— Thanks for the address but we could just as easily meet up after school and go to your house together.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhq8JgdbLf
Why didn't I think of that ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XnNPpZAYZ
I refrain from slapping myself.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeFlhkVMLg
Embarrassed by my stupidity, I smile shyly. Jessy leans towards me, slips my address into his pocket and adds mischievously : 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7jaKFUQnt
— I'm keeping it anyway. You never know, you might get lost along the way.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqbJ1GGcA0
I don't understand why just looking at him, talking to him, puts me in this state. I feel my cheeks on fire and I am certain that when I open my mouth, nothing but nonsense comes out.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4TNwp01Ue
But what is happening to me ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1J2cBG6qGw
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvM2sg0dfzC
During the next class, I feel Chad's gaze, sitting at the desk next to mine, weighing on me suspiciously. I do my best to appear comfortable and innocent until he hands me a paper.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KUXw5tnyL
What's going on with Jessy ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oVoIYfwKh
Astonished, I wrote : 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjxxkOXTHtY
What ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy6Vjl7pTyn
Chad's response was quick : 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVj75EZKmxE
Amy told me you two seem close and that I should be worried. It's the case ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3zH1U05Ty
Anger replaces disbelief. What the hell is his problem ? Is she not tired of taking care of my life, of making up stories for me ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGel3zCJLT
No, not at all. We just have a presentation to make together. 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddtB7MDawE
A smile lights up Chad's features. I managed to reassure him, yet I fear I may not have been completely honest with him.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAwHr60o18
As I look at his profile, I have to recognize that my boyfriend no longer inspires in me the feelings that inspired me just a few months ago. I feel myself detaching myself from Chad, I come to wonder if I was only in love with him one day or if I have always confused love and friendship. Slipping my hands through my hair, I breathe deeply. The only thing I know for sure is that I am lost in my emotions.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU62lwk0UZW
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tHo3bRArl
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7FvxbSKK8
At the end of class, Jessy comes to join me, backpack on his shoulder and a book in hand.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMH8nMDNryP
— I love this book. I must have read it about ten times since last year, he tells me. I thought you might like to read it ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvV8m3Nfeka
While walking the streets, I quickly skim a few pages.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGaLmGAMTTg
— Do you mind if I save it to read tonight ? I'll give it back to you tomorrow.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9KDptgtau
— On the contrary. It’s so rare that I meet people who like to read something other than comics.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4F6lmhCCL5
— I understand you. Comics are Chad's favorite reading.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5FjhNzuYV
— I'm not surprised, Chad seems more of an athlete than a cerebral one.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqaqK0FEN6
I am left speechless.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMXgr9JEbm
— Are you always this frank ? Can't help but ask him.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1faOtCO1d
He shrugs his shoulders while responding : 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDb6cKbeh4
— Very often. I hurt you ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUdvBuDDpd
I thought for a few seconds before answering him.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrLpriLer8
— No. I must admit that it is the truth.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczcYiNxHRv
His smile widens, making me melt a little more.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡROqAJNRP65
Arriving home, we sit in the living room and chat about the homework we have handed in. We both think we'll get good grades. My mother comes home from work and walks into the living room, surprising us. I suddenly feel uncomfortable being with a boy other than Chad under my parents' roof. I jump up, followed by my guest.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVSiIb3wRp
— Hey, Ch…, it’s not Chad, she smiled.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsrQ8VcFZv
— Mom, this is Jessy.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0pf1WvIVci
They greet each other.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb760xUqKhl
— We have a presentation to give to the whole class about the Second World War.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafKdA1iV3o
With a nod, Jessy confirms my words. Since my mother arrived, he hasn't said a word, and seems intimidated. This adds as evidence : 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoW8zJA7I8e
— Jessy, are you staying to eat with us this evening ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcuNNundUs
He shrugs his shoulders.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UYMojMM4L
— I don't want to bother you…452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUi8QX4Kvm0
— Don't worry, I still cook too much since Nick left for college.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoP99nztaXJ
— Nicolas is my older brother…452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsotKkoFHgu
— It would be a pleasure to have you with us. My husband is tired of being surrounded by girls.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIR3AGT29iN
— Okay then, Jessy said, smiling. Thanks ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJbSw0jfuG
A little later, he met my father, then Nina. When it was time to sit down at the table, without anyone telling her, Jessy naturally took a seat next to me. I control myself so as not to let my disorder appear in front of those close to me. I feel myself vibrate every time his arm brushes mine. From time to time, Jessy looks at me sideways and gives a little amused smile, and I immediately blush ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9c11w02GWM
The meal passes in a good atmosphere until Nina, as usual, says out loud what she is thinking : 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnaLUWMRSc
— You're not bad, Jessy, but I prefer Chad. It is awesome ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkb1DLJBdL
— Nina ! We don't say that kind of thing ! Reprimands my mother.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoH5LRFkqB
— For what ? I tell the truth.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeh3fzYb4Xa
— Chad is nice, Jessy responds politely.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJeuxxeoepV
— And he’s strong ! Nina continues, making me want to throw myself over the table and strangle her.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlINVSPk77t
— It’s true, Chad is a great athlete, adds my father. He also taught Megan how to drive. Considering the number of guests at his party the other night, he's also very popular. He has everything going for him, this boy, says my father, whom I would like to strangle at the same time as my sister.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Ps5BIMuom
— It’s true that he’s really lucky, Jessy whispers, looking at me.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnE2RJ1ixCp
I stare at him, not knowing how to react. I have a sudden and insane desire to throw myself into his arms to kiss him, this idea scares me as much as his words made me happy. Also, I'm left speechless, which makes him smile more.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfVY2SXBuD
At the end of the meal, Jessy helps me clear the table, then asks me where the bathroom is. I tell him. My mother then approaches me and gives me a little smile.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG184jrksuR
— This boy is very nice, she comments quietly so that only I can hear. And very cute at that.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceWTr3nblB
I glance at him sideways, smiling.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJ0LXii3gX
"I suppose you know what you're doing ? "452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnsq591HtM
— Not really.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskVLSwChQ2
— Meg, you’re sixteen. You didn't make a lifelong commitment to Chad. You are all young, you have the right to be carefree. I was, at your age, and I didn't know your father until much later, when I decided to settle down.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZlChBOYWX
— You know very well that I am too serious to let myself be guided by my emotions without having first thought for hours.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkQmXcO47F
— Yes, I know, my mother sighs. And at first glance, I would say that Jessy seems to be just like you.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosLzHy9Opl
— You think that…452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMdqaCA9z5
I want to ask her if she thinks Jessy is interested in me, but I leave it hanging when I see him coming back to us.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4H9EbnHA8Q
— Thank you very much for inviting me to your table. It's getting late, I'm going to go home.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZUoN0rIPA
— Wait, I'm going to walk with you for a while.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdmzoBFRHg
Jessy nods before going to grab his jacket hanging on a hook in the entryway.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYwRZH2twN
— Thanks again ! Have a good evening everyone, he says as he leaves.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8892inA0I9
— Megan ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8i28XgJTUQ
I turn to my mother who is standing in the hallway, at the entrance to the kitchen.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdiAQu7Yqa
— I am sure of it ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtvjb2Sa6u
I give him a big smile.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuhmtYL8HP
— She is sure of what ? Asks Jessy who heard everything from the porch.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXktfY7jx91
— Oh, you're welcome, just something I asked him.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjSHY4WoT6
Fortunately, he doesn't insist.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmNsvZFHM2
We walk down the sidewalk in silence.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQWk8vO2mt
My neighborhood is a quiet place, where all the houses452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTr3cLWN5DR
look alike with their little white fence surrounding the garden. Only the colors of the houses vary from one to another, sometimes white with blue shutters, sometimes brown with red shutters. Our family home is cream with green shutters. My father makes a point of maintaining it well, repainting it as soon as the paint shows signs of age, and mowing the lawn regularly. This corner of the city is not known for being the richest, but at least its inhabitants ensure that nothing can damage it. I love this quiet little town which seems to live as if in a cocoon where nothing serious ever happens and where the smallest event, like the arrival of Jessy, is experienced as big news. This thought pulls me out of my reverie and, turning back to my companion, I decide to question him.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddTIBCaGP1
— Did you move here alone ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FIyRzcAM2
This seems incongruous to me since he is only seventeen, but I never see him with anyone, not even in town.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRgqcfTxf2
— No, I live with my mother.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzrOkvP4wy
— And your father ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkw24LJFGtg
— My father died when I was a kid.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNZo54hF06
— Sorry.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQssaSjqkf8
— It's nothing. My mother remarried and I have a little brother, Jason, who is now seven.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEitWn66jU
— So your father in law and your brother live with you ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT2M0ji1cLB
Jessy grimace. 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0Lo8hh5vM
— No, they stayed in Allentown.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfXjzIXbWR
— For what ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6beEdFSAHv
Jessy gives me a big smile while answering : 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgVe6RzSpI
— Joker ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3thC6aJyQt
Preferring not to insist, I move on to other questions : 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXubreSwZMB
— Why did you leave Allentown ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPPafTDdDV
— Re joker ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9U8g15rS12
— OK. I always see you alone... but you must have friends ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitqj9TeeM6
— You know, I just arrived and I don’t know anyone yet, except you. In Allentown, I had friends, or so I thought, but..., he interrupts himself, purses his lips, shaking his head : 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56TZ9FCrSM
— I don't want to talk about it... Let's just say, sometimes you think you know people and you're wrong.
— Like me the other night...452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CSIX7X4aJ
Looking serious, he nods.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt4RFs63VhS
— So you’re from Allentown ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHDTh1UizB
— Yes, I lived in a small neighborhood where everyone had known each other forever, a bit like this one. (He looks around.) Except that in town, we couldn't see the stars as well.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxt3NhiovBH
I follow his gaze, staring at the sky illuminated by hundreds of sparkling points that no cloud hides. I feel very small and fragile in the face of this immensity. It's strange to find myself next to this boy to whom I feel close and who, at the same time, intimidates me so much.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWYC7tHErP
— Your family loves Chad very much, he said suddenly, breaking this magical moment. How long have you been together ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFomQkNeAP
I sit on the low wall bordering a house for sale.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10g2GKrUaj
— My father was a big athlete in high school and I think he recognizes himself in Chad. My mother finds him cute and nice, and my sister is in love with him, I think ! (I smile.) He and I have known each other for a very long time, since kindergarten in fact…452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMAnXmGDf2
— And you’ve always loved him, Jessy adds, sitting down next to me.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxBXkGSkny
I blush and lower my head.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL09Ulo1vOr
— It’s complicated… But let’s talk about you instead. Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQG8roDjOoy
Jessy turns to me and raises his eyebrows, visibly surprised. I stare at him, both impatient and dreading his answer.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiWIK6Jdjg
— Your question is strange...
— Why ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvesYv5ylBH
— Because you're dating the perfect guy according to everyone around you, so I wonder what your questioning is hiding.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnhg4fu6l7
— It wasn’t you who told me that you shouldn’t necessarily listen to what others say ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBUNjaYP4R
— Touché, he smiled. Let's say I had a girlfriend.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmWmDDBSit
— You still have ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqc8tClnZa3
— Well no, we split up...452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQq9pYQPe7
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his. Immediately, he kisses me back.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaTRw6n8zn
His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. jump, visibly annoyed.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkpIrjt8S3
— That’s not true ! Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7pKSMTJmw
— I don’t know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Ju2WsnxoJ
Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EFgmYxJQC
— Jessy, wait ! What is happening ? Please don't tell me that kiss was that bad ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWbIJ3vLHK
He doesn't stop though. I grab him by one arm, forcing him to stop his way.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlDFZAb2s8
He glares at me.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxW5VwwjgZB
— I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4TW6bCd7D
— It is, he whispers, staring at me.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NpD7A1O9t
— So where is the problem ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUcxAZ7Cxa
— I can not do that.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9iEyDqHZpX
— But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbX895DTH3Y
— It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxEeL7v3Va
He frees himself from my hand before continuing on his way. Staying there, I say to him : 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufvRKnM2vO
— I don't understand ! You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure ? I'm not your ex ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqC3EtO0JeU
Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ZRKFsQyZi
— No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way ! My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWJdpM5Fvg
— Wh... What ? I stammer, in shock.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMy3lzc7efY
He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevgZ3BQ6lm
— Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me it's better ! 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SDNS1PKqH
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I stay there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture, no longer knowing what to think. His words seem to spin in my head like a wild merry go round that no one can stop. I don't know how long I stand on that sidewalk looking in his direction long after he's gone.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4gXE7lIce
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When I get home, I try not to let anything show and lock myself in the kitchen. I thought I would be safe, but as soon as I closed the door, my mother opened it and stuck her head in.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRwBP0w02B
— Are you okay, Meg ? You're very pale, aren't you sick ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXy2YozNSv
— Everything is fine. I miss Nicolas, I would like to talk to him.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1flusxvfpb
Understanding the message, my mother nods and closes the door behind her. Immediately, I grab the phone and dial my brother’s number. Luckily he answers after two rings.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98HLrp8gu2
— Hello ? he says, happily.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhuikmLhJ6
— Nick, it’s me.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjCMl4qk1c
I'm having a hard time keeping the tremors in my voice at bay.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQXK8wZy9V
— Meg, what’s going on ? He worries.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFf7JQo7KH
The day I met Jessy, I told my brother that same evening. He seemed happy that a boy other than Chad was messing with me. For some reason, Nick always grimaced at my relationship with Chad. 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uupafNIpB
— Jessy came to the house for dinner this evening... 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16CsepqUII
— Oh, he sighs, he threw you away.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWAp6ryXlJ
I think about the way I kissed him and feel myself blushing again. If I had known how he was going to push me away, I would never have let myself be carried away by my desire.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1g9taXa6xE
— Yes, but that’s not the worst, I sob. Jessy admitted to me that she was sick.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsALoTkPyQ
Realizing the horror of the situation, I fall to the ground. I am not afraid of AIDS, I know that I risk nothing. But I am terrified for Jessy, for his future which is likely to be short. My brother doesn't speak, he gives me time to calm down. When my sobs dry up, I continue : 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFKK8X6Jkp
— Jessy is HIV positive, I blurt out in one breath.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRVo11k0cK
A gasp of surprise escapes my brother.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFfvqagF8V
— Okay, he breathes, making me understand that he’s thinking about the situation. What are you going to do ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmdJJef1Nfx
— I don't know. Nick, I need to know your opinion.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLK1ioMc44
— I admit that I didn't expect that at all. Do you see yourself turning your back on him ? 452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwFxa6HA5j
— I wouldn't be able to.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuvxrPMXIs
— Meg, I know this probably isn't the kind of relationship you imagined, but based on what you've told me so far about this guy, I think right now he especially needs support and friendship. Don’t reject him because he doesn’t match your ideal.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRta9fGehk
— Exactly, he corresponds to my ideal and the fact that he is ill changes nothing. If I am devastated it is because AIDS is an incurable disease. I don't want him to die, Nick, I'm crying again.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7plFMI2NY
I am aware that I have only known him for a short time but, without being able to explain it, he has already marked my existence.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5i8x8G4MzC
— Come on, little sister, don’t cry. For now, Jessy is alive and, even if he keeps you at a distance, I'm sure he would be happy to have you in his life. Try to make him smile while he's here. He must need to think about something other than this crap.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSd8ItXCArR
— You're right. Nick, what I confided to you must absolutely remain between us. No one should know.452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLsYbKV3r0
— Finally you know me ! Come on now tell me how he dumped you ! He laughs as I bite my lip in shame.
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